Some Cavalcade of Planes visitors got a surprise UFO ride (Fiction)

By Reporter X

About 40 visitors to the Cavalcade of Planes at Clow Airport got a surprise ride aboard a UFO.

“I was just waiting in line when I noticed that my family started floating,” said Tim, who asked that we not use his last name.  “The odd part is that no one else seemed to notice.”

According to all guests interviewed, visitors were taken to an observation deck and greeted by Bolingbrook Mayor Roger Claar.  Claar told them that they were randomly selected to receive a free UFO ride.  He also told them their tickets to the Cavalcade would be refunded, and they could go on the other rides for free.

Beth, who asked that we not use her last name, was pleased with the announcement:  “I thought we were going to be probed, but instead, we met a very kind mayor.  I’m sorry I ever doubted the Babbler.  Your village is awesome!”

The guests say their UFO ride started with an aerial tour of Bolingbrook, followed by a quick trip to Chicago, where they flew circles around Willis Tower.

Tim said: “The alien’s cloaking technology is amazing.  We got so close that we could look inside the windows.  The offices were closed, so it was OK!  We weren’t spying.”

The craft then flew to the Moon and gave the visitor a few of its far side.

“I used to call it the dark side of the Moon,” said Beth. “But now I know it isn’t always dark.  It looks so different from this angle.  I didn’t know there were alien bases and mother ships back there!”

The craft descended towards the Moon and hovered a few inches over the surface.  The crew then collected samples of moon dust and gave each guest a small bag.

Tim stated: “Roger said the moon dust was also free.  It was such a generous gift!  I’m going to put it on my bookshelf!”

The craft next returned to Clow, parked in a secret hanger.  As they left, the guests met the crew.

“They appeared kind of gross,” said Beth.  “But they were smart and generous.  So I can’t complain.”

The guests walked by tables with souvenirs. There were also credit card machines that allowed the guests to make a donation to Claar’s campaign fund.

“I’m sure this cost him a fortune,” said Tim.   “I figured I should at least give him my life’s savings.  Who needs a house when you’ve seen the far side of the moon?”

Charles, a spokesperson for Bolingbrook’s Department of Interstellar Affairs, denied that the rides were a fundraising event for Claar:

“Roger put a lot of work into organizing this.  Yes, the craft was free, but Roger loves Bolingbrook, and the best way to love Roger back is to donate to his campaign fund.”

When reached for comment, a person at Claar’s home said he was busy.  In the background, a man who sounded like Claar cleared his throat:

“You know I put a lot of work into welcoming your business to Bolingbrook, and I do have to fight off a political party that wouldn’t work as hard for you?  Why yes, I do have a campaign fund.  What?  You’d rather donate to a Bolingbrook Super PAC?  Well you know I can’t coordinate with a Super PAC so—  You’re fine with that?  What if I need to buy gas for my car?  Use my salary?”

Also in the Babbler:

Aliens offer moment of silence for victims of London attacks
Bolingbrook warns residents about bored teenager syndrome
Phantom Press attacks Freethought Blogs
God to smite Bolingbrook on 6/7/17

Web Exclusive: Alien drops coal plant in front of Bolingbrook Village Hall (Fiction)

By Reporter X

Bolingbrook authorities are looking for an alien who dropped a miniature coal plant in front of Village Hall.  A note, left by the alien, said it was in protest of President Donald Trump withdrawing the US from the Paris Climate Agreement:

“Mayor Roger Claar must have a CO2 fetish because he worked so hard to get Donald Trump elected.  If Roger desires CO2 so much that he is willing to destabilize Earth’s climate and threaten human civilization, then may he please accept my gift.”

The alien dropped the six-foot tall coal plant around midnight, then fled in a cloaked UFO.  The plant automatically started burning coal.  The Men in Blue successfully shut down the plant before it could alter Bolingbrook’s carbon footprint.

“Bolingbrook is building a reputation as Naperville south,”  said an official who asked to remain anonymous.  “Coal Plants would harm that reputation, which why we had to shut down the plant.”

Other sources confirm that the plant was moved away from Village Hall before residents could notice it.  They also confirmed that Illuminati clerics are examining the plant to determine its origin.

Claar could not be reached for comment.

Bolingbrook Time War remembered in village ceremony (Fiction)

Bolingbrook officials held a Memorial Day ceremony to remember the participants in the Bolingbrook Time War. The war started on April 6, 1984, when invaders from the year 3000 AD launched a surprise attack against Bolingbrook.

“For two days, outsiders tried to destroy our village,” said Bolingbrook Mayor Roger Claar.  “Maybe they were future inhabitants of Cook County: we may never know.  But we do know, that when Bolingbrook united around a single leader and did exactly what that leader said without question, Bolingbrook prevailed against a technologically superior foe!”

The Bolingbrook Time War lasted for two days.  The time-traveling army was not aware of the existence of Clow UFO base, and its advanced defenses.  This advantage allowed the Village to put up some resistance against the invaders.  Over the course of the war, it is believed that 90% of Bolingbrook’s residents were killed, along with 50% of Naperville’s residents, and 40% of Romeoville’s residents.

The war ended when a squad of Men in Blue snuck into the invaders’ base camp.  They used their time machine to travel forward in time to just before the prototype of the invaders’ time machine was activated.  The squad set off an atomic bomb, destroying their time machine, and the knowledge of how to travel backward in time.  Bolingbrook then reverted to its pre-war state.

Though technically no one died, each Memorial Day, village officials hold a secret ceremony in which they lay a wreath in honor of the victims “that once were” and remember a war that most residents have forgotten.

During this year’s ceremony, Claar, without attribution, stated that the invaders wanted to prevent the rise of a “future great leader” who would come from Bolingbrook:

“I don’t know who that great leader will be, but this war shows the importance respecting all great leaders in Bolingbrook.”

Traditionally, the other trustees deliver speeches.  Claar said that the members of the Bolingbrook First party would remain silent in memory of recently defeated Trustee Sheldon Watts.  All Bolingbrook First party members wore black during the ceremony.

Claar then looked at Trustee Robert Jaskiewicz and said, “Jaruzelski!”

Jaskiewicz came to the podium. He said that the lesson to be learned from the Bolingbrook Time War is not to follow leaders blindly:

“From what former Mayor Ed Rosenthal has told me, I see the lesson of the Bolingbrook time war like this:  Even though the air was filled with death rays and drones, there were still different viewpoints on what to do.  Ed took the time to listen to those voices, including the voice of a trustee who wouldn’t stop talking about the wallpaper in the mayor’s bathroom.   Once Ed listened to those voices, he made the best choice and saved Bolingbrook.  Today, there are many voices in Bolingbrook, and we shouldn’t be afraid to listen to them.”

After the ceremony, the trustees walked towards the subway train going to Village Hall.  Claar stopped Jaskiewicz.



“Close enough.  We’re going to watch the Memorial Day Carnival from the observation deck.  We’re going to have catered food, quality beverages, a virtual rollercoaster, and decent live bands.  Guess who isn’t invited?”

Also in the Babbler:

President Trump asks Claar for advice on ghosts
Sam Harris reveals plans to take over the world
The Babbler remembers those who died so we can have the freedom to write about Bolingbrook
God to spare Bolingbrook this week 

Video: Swearing in a new era in Bolingbrook (Out of Character)

After decades, the Bolingbrook Village Board now has a trustee who is not a member of Mayor Roger Claar’s political party.  Robert Jaskiewicz, a member of Bolingbrook United, was sworn last night, along with Claar and two other Bolingbrook First trustees.  A new era of bipartisan government has begun in Bolingbrook, and Bolingbrook First’s members didn’t seem to be pleased. As you can see from the video.

Bolingbrook First holds five out of six trustee seats, as well as mayor.  To me, this doesn’t mean a change in policies.  There will probably be some no votes, which used to be rare, and some debates during board meetings, which used to be unheard of.

Still, this is historic in the political history of Bolingbrook.

Sorry for the shaking video.  I would have bought a phone mount if I had realized the speeches would last as long as they did.

Web Exclusive: Did Trump compromise the Bolingbrook Golf Club? (Fiction)

Sources with friends who may work at the White House say President Donald Trump may have revealed the Bolingbrook Golf Club’ “self-destruct code” to the Russians.

File photo of Donald Trump at Clow International Airport.

During a meeting with a Russian delegation, Trump bragged about his memory.  The sources say he remembered meeting with Bolingbrook Mayor Roger Claar at the Golf Club.  Trump said he saw Claar enter a code on a keypad built into his desk.  A hidden safe opened up.  Inside were bottles of Trump Vodka, and bottles of Trump Ice.  Smiling at his guests, Trump then recited what he thought was the code.

According to sources, Trump misremembered the code, and accidentally gave the Russian the “self-destruct code” for the Golf Club.  Some of the sources saw a member of the Tass News Agency write down the code.

“Roger almost lost an election because he supported Trump,” said one of the sources.  “This is how Trump thanked him?”

Lenny, a village employee who asked that we not use his last name, confirmed the existence of the self-destruct device. According to Lenny, it was originally intended to prevent the club from falling into hands of a “hostile governmental unit or opposition party.”  The device, when activated, will release a noxious, but harmless, chemical into the clubhouse, rendering it unfit for occupation.  It will also disperse radioactive pellets across the golf course, turning it into a radiation hazard.

“I told Roger it was a bad idea,” said Lenny.  “The device could malfunction, or be used by his enemies.  But he insisted on having it because he was afraid the Cook County Democrats would try to steal the club from him.  I couldn’t persuade him that he was wrong, and now here we are.”

Another source within Village Hall, who asked to be called Chris, claims she received a written note intended from Claar while manning the front desk:  “He had a real thick accent and said Roger would ‘understand the message’.”

After delivering the message to Claar, Claar told Chris to call Vladimir Putin for him.  When she said she didn’t have his number, he replied:  “Google it!  That’s why we spend so much money on an Internet connection.  You didn’t think it was so you could read the Babbler while pretending to work?”

According to Lenny, everything worked out.  Putin promised not to destroy the Golf Club.  Golf Cub staff disarmed the device and expected to have it removed before Trustee-elect Robert Jaskiewicz is sworn in.

“If he ever finds out about this, we’ll never hear him stop complaining.”

Public relations intern Charline Z. Spencer did not completely deny the existence of the device:  “There is no nuclear bomb inside the Bolingbrook Golf Club, and there are no napalm canisters under each golf hole.  The story, as you described it, is not accurate.  These statements are fun to say!”

In the background, a man who sounded like Claar said:  “Of course I’m with you until the bloody end.  Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.  Still, you might want to meet some civics teachers I—Don’t you ever talk to me like that!  You may be the President of the United States, but I’m the Mayor of Bolingbrook!”

Web Exclusive: Flat Earth believers reapply for charter school in Valley View School District 365U (Fiction)

The Flat Out Truth Educational corporation, a company that promotes “reexamination of Flat Earth Theory,” announced that it would reapply for a charter school in the Valley View 365U School District.

An illustration of the alternative “Pond Earth Theory.”

Company president Marc I. Hill stated he was very hopeful that the application would be accepted this time: “In 2014, we were ahead of our time.  Now the world has changed.  Rappers can rap about our Flat Earth and still have a career.  An NBA player can criticize globalist thinking and still have a career.  Flat Earth memes populate the Internet.  More importantly, Betsy DeVos is now the Secretary of Education.  Valley View won’t have a choice but to accept our charter school.  Just look at what she did for Detroit!”

According to Hill, the charter school will teach students from Kindergarten through Fifth Grade.  All textbooks will be published by Flat Out Truth, and all lessons will encourage “skepticism of popular globalist views.”  Science textbooks will present the “theory” of how the Earth is an infinite plain of ice.  Humans live in a “warm oasis surrounded by walls of ice.”  History textbooks will present “theories” about how globe manufacturers persuaded governments to cover up flat earth theory, and news stations prevented people from getting too close to the ice walls.

“Have you ever wondered why there’s a military base at the so-called South Pole?”

Hill says that the school will also promote the religious faith of its students:

Revelations 7.1 says the Earth has four corners.  Qur’an 20:53 says the Earth is spread out like a carpet.  Science says otherwise.  Who should our students trust?  God or Richard Dawkins?”

No school board members would comment for this article, but president Steve Quigley did laugh before hanging up.

A science teacher, who asked not to be identified, said there was no reason to teach Flat Earth Theory in the Valley View curriculum:

“The ancient greeks knew the Earth was a globe.  They could tell because they could see new constellations when they traveled further south.  They also noticed during lunar eclipses that the shadow of the Earth is round.  Eratosthenes accurately determined the circumference of the Earth in 240 BC.  We have photos that show the Earth is a globe.  The horizon itself is a product of the curvature of the Earth.  Anyone can see the curvature of the Earth if they fly in a high-altitude aircraft.  So who are you going to trust?  Scientists and the patriotic pilots in the air force, or neo-Nazi Tila Tequila?”

Hill says he not worried about possible resistance from “globalist union teachers”:

“All I have to do is give a large donation to Bolingbrook’s Mayor Roger Claar, and we’ll be up and running in no time!”

When called for comment, a receptionist said Claar was discussing business with intern Charline Spencer, and could not be disturbed.  She added:  “Roger believes—no, knows– that the Earth is a globe.  He also doesn’t control the board of education.  End of discussion.”

In the background, a man who sounded like Claar said:  “Okay, Charline, tell me your idea for the podcast ad.”

Spencer replied:  “Come to the Taste of Bolingbrook on June 17 and 18 at the Promenade Bolingbrook.  All of the great food you expect with none of the Cook County Democrats!”

“Not bad.”

Eyewitnesses: Bolingbrook Village Board members desperately avoiding each other (Fiction)

Are the members of Bolingbrook Village Board avoiding each other?  Eyewitness accounts suggest that they are.

Dena, who asked that we not use her last name, said she saw trustees Maria Zarate and Deresa Hoogland at Ikea.  According to Dena, the two didn’t notice each other at first.

Bolingbrook, IL Mayor Roger Claar

File photo of Bolingbrook Mayor Roger C. Claar. (Image from the Village of Bolingbrook web page.)

“I was so excited,” said Dena.  “I’m a big fan of (Bolingbrook Mayor Roger Claar) and his trustees.  So I said hi.  Then things became really strange.”

According to Dena, the two trustees noticed each other.  Dena said they started wide-eyed at each other for a second then started screaming.  Each of them ran in the opposite direction, and out of Dena’s sight.

“I have no idea what that was about.”

Paul, who also asked that we not use his last name, said he spotted trustees Michael Lawler and Sheldon Watts on Boughton Road.  Watts was driving his car while Lawler was an Uber passenger.  According to Paul, both cars were at a stoplight.  When Lawler looked out the window at Watts, he started screaming.  Watts turned and screamed when he saw Lawler.  Paul claims that Lawler took off his coat and covered his window with it.  Watts averted his eyes from Lawler’s car.  When the light turned red Watts accelerated away.

“I don’t get it,” said Paul.  “They’re normally so nice to each other.”

Lisa, a waitress at the Bolingbrook Golf Club, said she noticed odd behavior from Trustee Ricardo Morales:

“I was serving his chicken wrap.  I think we were calling it a New York Chicken Wrap that day.  Anyway, I casually mentioned that Roger was hanging out in the President’s Room.  He turned pale and his eyes widened.  He said: ‘I’m taking the plate.  Put this on Mr. Washington’s expense account, and give yourself a 25 percent tip.  I was never here!’  Then he ran off.  I wonder if Mr. Washington knows he has an expense account here?”

Another anonymous source said that before his group could meet in Trustee Leroy Brown’s office, they had to sign a form stating that they were not elected Bolingbrook officials.

Pete, who claims to work inside Village Hall, stated that: “The board is afraid that if any trustees are seen together, Trustee-Elect Robert Jaskiewicz will say they’re holding an official meeting, and demand to be immediately sworn in.

“We’ve had single party rule since the 1990s,” said Pete.  “We’re in no hurry to start experimenting with bi-partisan government.  I think its one of the reasons the May 9 meeting was canceled.  We’re delaying the inevitable until near the end of the May 23 meeting.”

According to another anonymous source in Village Hall, Jaskiewicz and another person were seen standing in front of Claar’s office.  Jaskiewicz knocked on the door and said:  “Hello Roger?  Are you having a meeting in there?  If you are, you need to let me in.  I even did you a favor and brought Representative Bill Foster so you don’t have to swear me in. He’ll do it for you!”

Charline Z. Spencer, public relations intern for the Village of Bolingbrook, denied that the trustees were avoiding each other:  “The Open Meetings Act has guidelines on what constitutes a meeting.  Merely being in the same room with other elected officials does not constitute a meeting.”  She added:  “Bob, Roger, and Leroy were at a Rotary club function a few days ago without any incident.  So that disproves your story right there.  Try to be more like the Bolingbrook Patch.  They didn’t question me when I oversold the Paul Harris Fellow recognition Leroy received.”

Spencer could not provide the reason for the cancellation of the May 9 Board meeting but insisted it had nothing to do with Jaskiewicz.

Spencer, however, feels that Jaskiewicz will change the culture in Village Hall: “Things have been very quiet since I started, but that’s going to change.  Once Bob is sworn in, it’s going to be like an episode of Game of Thrones!  Minus the sex and violence, of course.”

Also in the Babbler:

Russia steals weather machine from Soviets!
Man accuses Mayor Claar of hiding a tunnel to the center of the Earth
Half of IL-6 vows to run against Rep. Peter Roskam
God to smite Bolingbrook on 5/11/17

Web Exclusive: Royce Road truthers slam ‘fake flood’ stories (Fiction)

The editors of “The Real Bolingbrook News” secret subreddit announced in a post that they doubt the news that Royce Road is flooded:

“This is fake news, by fake reporters and fake eyewitnesses!”

They also write: “Instead of acknowledging the victory of Roger Claar and the First Party for Bolingbrook First, the lying press is making up stories about floods to smear them.  The Reddit army must not stand for this!”

During a Skype chat, a man who identified himself as BB1, pointed out several “anomalies” in the flood reports:

“There’s a video of a supposed rescue along Royce Road.  Yet, as a lifelong Bolingbrook Bengal, I don’t remember a section of the road looking like that.  Plus, I’m almost positive I’ve seen the man playing Battalion Chief Dan Graff, in a movie. I’m sure he’s a crisis actor.  Furthermore, look at the car.  I’m sure it could have kept going.  If the flood waters are so dangerous, why is he casually walking and standing around?  This is fake.”

According to official sources, it is dangerous to drive into standing water that is more 5 inches deep, and no one should drive into water that is over nine inches deep.  Six inches of rushing flood waters can knock a person over.

Still, the 10 members of the subreddit insist all the Royce Road flood footage is fake.

Member MissiForever explained in a post: “Roger Clair (sic) created the Bolingbrook Golf Club to prevent local flooding.  Roger always knows what’s best.  That’s why he endorsed Trump. If Royce Road is flooded, that means Roger is wrong and endorsing Trump was wrong.  As long as I bleed blue and purple, I know that Roger is right.  Therefore Royce Road isn’t flooded and Trump is making us great again!”

When presented with eyewitness accounts of Royce Road being flooded, and personal accounts of basements in Bolingbrook flooding, the members said the witnesses were brainwashed.

In their joint statement, they blamed Will County Trustee, and former Bolingbrook mayoral candidate, Jackie Traynere, for staging the recent flood scenes in the news:

“Jackie is using her influence in Will County to stage these obviously fake scenes.  She is trying to get her revenge against Roger by using the liberal media to smear him. We cannot let her get away with this.  Roger is the best mayor Bolingbrook has had in its 60-year history!”

When reached for comment, Traynere said that she supports the brave members of the Bolingbrook Fire Department, and laughed at the Reddit group.

Charlene Z. Spencer, a public relations intern for the Village of Bolingbrook, confirmed what most residents already knew:

“Unfortunately, Bolingbrook does flood.  The land used for the Golf Club is also part of our floodplain control efforts.  We have never said it would prevent all flooding in Bolingbrook.  I will add that Roger believes the Golf Club will consistently turn a profit someday.”

In the background, a man who sounded like Claar said: “You’re lucky my officers arrested you before you drove into the water.  I know you saw the signs before driving around the barriers.  What part of ‘Road Closed’ didn’t you understand?”

Web Exclusive: Police save Village Board meeting from performance artists (Fiction)

The Bolingbrook police secret cybercrime team prevented the April 25 board meeting from becoming a work of “performance art.”

According to police inside sources, the Performance Art League of Bolingbrook tried to promote the 4/25/17 Village Board meeting as an “encore presentation of our greatest play, Village of the Bored!”  Since 1983, members of the mysterious league have attempted to “re-appropriate” public events in Bolingbrook as works of performance art.  Their most notable production was the 6/9/09  Village Board meeting.  Their last production was A Village for Old Men in 2015, which appropriated Bolingbrook’s celebration of its 50th anniversary.

A member of the cybercrime team, who asked to be called Anita, explained why the team couldn’t let this performance go on:  “These hoaxes start out as jokes. They are like broken windows.  They lead to greater crimes.  So today it’s people sending out phony press releases.  Tomorrow it’s people sending death threats for ‘the lulz.’  In a few weeks, the village board is hiding in elevator shafts, and the village is overrun with Internet trolls.  Our actions saved Bolingbrook.”

The sources agreed that the Bolingbrook police asked local newspapers not to cover the league’s press releases, and compelled Facebook to remove posts mentioning Village of the Bored.  On the day of the meeting, officers were on the alert for people handing out flyers or “program guides” for the “play.”

Team member “Zoe,” (not her real name), described how she protected Town Center: “I was standing by the door when I saw this guy with a backpack walking towards me.  I told him I wanted to search it.  He called me a TSA Officer in the airport of life.  I approached him, and he ran away.  I’m pretty sure he was a member of the league.  I protected (Mayor Roger Claar) from having to read a ridiculous pamphlet.”

Two men did hear about the “performance.”

Dave described his experience:  “I was excited at first.  The mayor mentioned a canvas, and I thought it was going to be an audience participation activity.  As the meeting went on, something seemed off.  I checked the Bolingbrook website and realized I was watching a real meeting.  I was so embarrassed that I left before the mayor could laugh at me.”

John was less charitable:  “The writer of this play needed to show boredom not bore the audience!  That attempt at a tear-jerking speech near the end didn’t save this lazy production!”

The Bolingbrook Performance Art League sent an e-mail to the Babbler announcing that their next project would be placing frozen peaches around the village “to remind Roger that Bolingbrook is a part of the United States, and we will speak out no matter what.”

When called, a receptionist for Claar said that he was “giving an orientation to Trustee-elect Robert Jaskiewicz”, and could not be disturbed.

In the background, a man who sounded like Claar said, “Look at all these fine beverages I keep in my office bar.  You know what, Bob?  None of them are for you.”

Web Exclusive: Illuminati celebrates Mayor Claar’s re-election (Fiction)

The Illuminati kept its hold on Bolingbrook as Mayor Roger Claar defeated New World Order backed challenger, Jackie Traynere, by 151 votes.  The win means the Illuminati will maintain in control of Clow UFO Base.

Shortly after Traynere conceded, Claar addressed an Illuminati victory party in a hidden room at Lou Malnati’s in Bolingbrook:

Bolingbrook, IL Mayor Roger Claar

File photo of Bolingbrook Mayor Roger C. Claar. (Image from the Village of Bolingbrook web page.)

“The Cook County Democrats and their Bolingbrook United puppets just learned a valuable lesson: Nothing conquers my campaign fund!  I had to spend over $235,000 dollars for this victory!  It was worth it, don’t you agree?”

Claar added that media outlets considered the race a referendum on President Trump’s performance.

“I guess Trump is doing just fine,”  Claar said.

Village Clerk Carol Penning, who narrowly won re-election herself, was especially happy.

“Our opponents wanted to conduct an audit.  Well, we’re going to do our own audit, if you know what I mean.”

Trustee Michael Lawler later walked up to the podium and held up a glass of what appeared to be orange juice, but was actually a screwdriver. “I don’t know about you, but I’m thirsty for more!”

Trustee Maria Zarate thanked the crowd and promised to keep doing her best to “illuminate Bolingbrook.”

Defeated Trustee Sheldon Watts delivered an emotional concession speech: “It pains me to be the first member of Roger’s slate to lose in the 21st Century.  I will take some comfort knowing that Roger is still Bolingbrook!”

Claar again addressed the crowd. He promised them that: “Watts would return, once the next step on the Illuminated Path is complete.”

Claar also had another promise: “Those of you who truly support me will never know thirst.  Ford!”

At an undisclosed location, members of the New World Order celebrated Robert Jaskiewicz’s victory, making him the first opposition candidate elected to Bolingbrook in the 21st Century.  The crowd chanted “Bolingbrook’s for Bob” as he approached the podium.

“To the nearly half of voters who voted against Roger, I say that you now have a voice on the Village Board.  It would have been nice to have company on the board, but we’ll take what we can and build on it.”  He added: “For decades, the New World Order helped Roger build Bolingbrook.  He betrayed us for the fake Illuminati.  Roger, I look forward to working with you, but my mission is clear.  I’m going to put Bolingbrook back in order.  If you know what I mean.”