The only movie production still operating in the United States is currently shooting scenes in Bolingbrook. Currently titled The Sound of Reason, controversial Professor Richard Dawkins and the equally controversial Center for Inquiry are producing what they claim will be the atheist version of The Sound of Freedom.
Said a production manager, who asked not to be identified, “If you can’t beat them, copy them. They’re not the only ones who can make vile accusations against our opponents.”
The movie is about a young British Home Office employee named Richard who uncovers a sinister cabal planning to infect a mind virus on the Western World. When his supervisor, Peter Zed, threatens to reprimand Richard for his dangerous ideas, Richard resigns and sets out to stop the “Broke” mind virus.
Because most of the actors are British, and most of the scenes are being filmed in Oxford, UK, The Sound of Reason is exempt from the SAG/SWG strike. CFI, according to sources, insisted on filming part of the movie in the United States. The production, however, does not have a permit from the Village of Bolingbrook. As a result, the crew film at night with hidden cameras.
Paul X. Cooper, a Bolingbrook resident, claims the crew drafted him into being an extra. “Some guy handed me a $100 and told me to watch the actors and pretend to be offended. When they said Christianity was a symptom of the Broke Mind Virus, I didn’t need to act offend. I was offended.”
According to a source within Village Hall, Mayor Mary Alexander-Basta refused to grant a film permit. The sources claim she objected to this scene that was going to be filmed in front of the Bolingbrook Community Center. The sources provided a copy of the scene.
Richard: It’s hideous the way they infect children with the Broke Mind Virus. Parents are fooled into sending their children into special schools, where they are groomed to accept the mind infection.
Average American character to be named later: That’s terrible! Who should I shoot first?
Richard: But that’s not the worst part?
Average: It’s not?
Richard: The worst part is what they do to the children who resist the virus. They’re labeled “At Risk Youth” and forced to attend special sessions where infectors devise individual behavior modification programs for each sweet, innocent little child. Once infected with the Broke Mind Virus at such a young age, the condition is almost incurable!
Average: Outrageous! I must jump on social media and post about the radical gender identity cultural Marxists!
Richard: Gender identity? No. I’m talking about delusional religious leaders.
Alexander-Basta denied meeting with a film crew. She urged all residents to remain calm during the strike. “There’s lots of content on the streaming platforms. HBO can revive all the programs they pulled. But in the unlikely event you finish watching all the platforms, we have lots of books you can check out at the library.”
A spokesperson for CFI denied they were producing a movie. The spokesperson started crying and said, “I survived Covid only to be interviewed by the Babbler. There is a secular hell, and I’m in it!”
In the background, a man who sounded like Richard Dawkins said, “My Twitter feed isn’t what it used to be. How will you fix it?”
A man who sounded like Elon Musk said, “I will come up with something and it will work because I’m a billionaire!”
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God to smite Bolingbrook on 7/20/23
Note: This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer.