Village Board members and selected guests attended the first Bolingbrook’s Enlightened Discussion conference, which was held during the Bolingbrook Jubilee. Modeled after the popular T.E.D. conferences, the goal of B.E.D, according to promotional materials, is to promote “Real talk about real solutions for Bolingbrook’s real residents.”
Hosted at the Village Hall, attendees divided their time between speakers and the festival outside.
“I’ve never been to a conference that also had carnival rides,” Said John, a Bolingbrook business owner who asked that we not publish his last name. “This is fun and enlightening. That’s what makes Bolingbrook, Bolingbrook.”
One of the organizers, who asked not to be identified, said the conference, which has been in the planning stages since 2010, is important to the future of Bolingbrook: “There’s a certain group of people who always complain about things, but never offer solutions. At least we’re offering solutions. Solutions that are so far outside the box, you can’t see the box.”
Speaker Blake Walker Swain talked about term limits would affect Bolingbrook: “We know one four year term is too short. Bolingbrook has had too many one term or less mayors. We know two terms isn’t long enough either. Just look at Mayor Bob Bailey. Everyone here knows that Bolingbrook functions best when we have an unconstrained mayor that is unconstrained.”
Swain proposed that Bolingbrook mayors should be elected to one 40 year term and trustees should be appointed to a ten-year term. The mayor could reappoint trustees at their discretion.
“The usual suspects won’t like this plan,” said Swain. “But intellectually, we know this is a good plan. It includes term limits, which one side wants, and it does away with mob rule, which is what Bolingbrook real residents want.”
Thomas Z. Miller proposed abolishing local taxes and fees, and replacing them with an online fundraising page: “It would be just like Patreon. The more you donate each month, the more benefits you would receive. Now the usual suspects would say this is corruption. But I say its common sense, and I’m sure the thought leaders in the audience agree with me.”
Mayor Roger Claar and the trustees who are members of Claar’s Bolingbrook First party smiled and nodded during the speeches.
Near the end of the conference, Bolingbrook United trustee Robert Jaskiewicz said to Claar: “All I’m hearing are proposals. When do we get to the discussion part? I want to go over the problems with these ideas.”
Claar reached into a cooler and pulled out a frozen Asian Carp. He extended it towards Jaskiewicz.
“What are you doing?” asked Jaskiewicz.
Claar pulled the fish back and examined it. “It didn’t trigger Bob. What am I doing wrong?”
Also in the Babbler:
Jaycees remove psychic from bingo tent
Residents upset over the lack of UFO rides at the Jubilee
Time traveler confused by cover bands performing at the Jubilee
God to smite Bolingbrook on 8/22/18