Another Doctor’s Perspective About a Squashed Tick

My feelings are very similar. I do not condone the killing of the vampiric CEO of a corporation that has killed hundreds of thousands, if not actually millions, of people so that a few bloodsuckers at the top can buy mansions and yachts and gloat over having more money than they will ever actually need. But I completely understand the motivation behind the killing and hard as I might, I cannot find in me even the tiniest speck of sympathy for a dead parasite. I wish the CEO were stripped of his wealth and imprisoned for the murders he committed instead, but my wishes don’t mean squat.

Because, murdering people by neglecting their basic human needs for personal profit is very often legal in the USA, and in most probability, it will become even more legal under Trump. All the while he will claim doing the opposite and his brainless followers will cheer him on.

I only hope that the EU will continue to resist the USA’s attempts at exporting their model of “healthcare” here too, we already have whole parties centered around trickle-down economics and creationism, etc., so we don’t need more bad ideas in our politics.

YouTube Video: Why I Stopped Being Anti-Woke

I used to watch DarkMatter2525 in the early years of online atheism but I unsubscribed from him after his “What if God was SJW” video, because I considered it lame and daft, as I did about 99% of the anti-SJW content at the time and ever since. Today, the YuTub algorrhythm recommended this video of his.

I listened to it while gluing up kitchen boards in the workshop. I think it is good. I do not quite get his current opinion of Anita Sarkeesian, but I completely agree with his view of the current “Anti-Woke” brigade. He does admit that he was wrong in the past with his anti-sjw stance, which I consider to be a good thing. Thus, I recommend this video; it does deserve some traffic.

Aye Maide Some Cutting Boards

I haven’t posted here about crafting for a long time, so I decided to do some posting now. I already made my first cutting boards from jatoba and they are currently tested in three different kitchens. Here are the pictures:

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

So far they work reasonably well. Jatoba is very hard so whilst the surfaces get scratched by knife blades, the scratches are extremely shallow and since these are end-grain cutting boards, it will take a lot of cutting to wear out some material. Considering that ordinary side-grain boards from beech wood still hold reasonably flat for decades, I think these will last a lifetime. Which means I won’t need new cutting boards, ever.

My mother already forgot the middle-sized one (with slanted rows) on a wet towel and it warped something awful. But after it dried out, it straightened again and the glue held. She put the board on a wet towel so it does not slide on the table and this was not the first wooden board that had warped due to this ill-thought-out practice. From now on, she is using a silicone mat for that purpose, and the problem is solved. I also put a few offcuts in the dishwasher and they performed as I expected – the glue failed.

Currently, I am making jatoba cutting boards for sale. And just like with knives, I will prepare short documents about how to care for them to customers. That is why I am actually glad that my mother did the thing with wet towel because I would not have thought of it and I do need to know all the different ways these can fail.

Although I must say, if someone gives a wooden cutting board in a dishwasher, then they are probably about as smart as an average Trump voter, and thus probably just as resistant to information. Well, c’est la vie.

When making the next cutting board, my drum sander broke. I had to improvipair it and today I got to work on it for several hours. It does indeed have higher power now and thus it functions a lot better. I might be able to flatten boards without the router, as I originally intended. I did flatten this board like that, and it is huge.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

It is made from black locust and I made it for myself. Not for the kitchen – it is 60×30 cm, a bit too large for that – but for my workshop for leather work. I expect it to be more cut-resistant than even the very best cutting mat. I love how the black locust grain looks and I am contemplating making kitchen boards from it too.

I am writing about making the boards weekly on the knife blogge but I will write a series of posts here too.

Please Stop Pretending Like You Care About Palestine

The presidential election in the USA is near and what astounds me about it the most is that there are apparently still some people who claim to be on the political left who insist on calling a vote for Harris a “vote for genocide” under the pretense that not voting for her will be better for Palestine.

Please stop saying that nonsense already. We had already one election where Trump won the presidency and we had almost a decade of listening to his speeches (if his incoherent ramblings can be called that)  Anyone with two brain cells to rub together knows at this point that the next president will be either Harris or Trump and that of those two a vote for Trump is not only a “vote for genocide” but a vote for genocides. And it is also clear, given how the US election works, that not voting for Harris is almost the same as giving a vote to Trump too, because he has an extremely hyped-up and irrational base. Anyone pretending otherwise either denies reality or does not have two brain cells to rub together. I think these people do have functional brains, so why do they knowingly lie and deny reality?

In the real world, there will never be a candidate who can both have a realistic shot at winning the election and agree with everything these people want them to say and do, so there is, in fact, a 100% guarantee that they will disagree with any candidate on something. And from the behavior of some of these people online, I surmise that this is, in fact, what they want. They do not want to make the world better; they want to feel morally superior.

I am generally not someone to kink-shame people but I do consider furiously masturbating in public over your own perceived moral purity unseemly. If you cannot vote for Harris because you are an asshat who wants to see the world burn, at least have the decency to say so.

Pumpkin Mustard

I am taking the vaccination against Covid and flu rather badly this year. The vaccines had to be staggered by a week and a half because the delivery of the flu vaccine was delayed. After each shot, first, my arm hurt for three days like I was kicked by a mule and after that subsided, I was tired, depressed, and had an elevated temperature in the afternoon for over a week. I had a lot of work to do but I managed very little.

Those issues notwithstanding, I would like to share a recipe for pumpkin mustard, one of those things I have done with this year’s insane harvest. I did use one of the hokkaido squash that I wrote about previously. Hokkaido has firm flesh with a rich yellow color and is thus superbly suitable for this.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

I put the following ingredients into the pot:

  • 2 kg of finely grated pumpkin flesh
  • 2 finely minced white peppers (for spicier mustard one can use hot peppers, goat horn peppers, or even chillis if you feel suicidal)
  • 100 ml of vinegar
  • 250 ml of cooking oil (in my case sunflower oil)
  • 120 g of sugar
  • 60 g of salt
  • 1 teaspoon of white pepper (added because it is milder in taste than black pepper and also is not visible in the finished product, optional)
  • 5 tablespoons of soy sauce
  • 2 tablespoons of fresh shroomce (optional, 1 spoon of Worchester sauce can be used for spicier taste, I don’t like Worchester sauce that much)

I started to slow cook it under the lid until all the pumpkin pieces softened and started to break apart. Once that happened I added three 180 g glasses of storebought french mustard and mixed and shredded it thoroughly with food mixer into a smooth paste. If you are hardcore on self-made, you can use mustard seeds and not mustard.

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I did mix it really thoroughly until it was smooth. I then carefully and slowly evaporated some water until it had an appropriate consistency when cooled. It did not take too long, hokkaido pumpkin is not too watery.

I put the finished product into small screw-top jars which I subsequently sterilized at 80°C for 20 minutes and then opened and closed when hot to form a proper vacuum seal. I made enough mustard to last me for several years, and from experience I know that it can last for several years in the cellar.

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Since this is a rather special product as far as I am concerned, I went through the trouble of designing and printing labels. One glass failed to form a proper vacuum seal so I put it in the refrigerator for immediate consumption. It is delicious, although I will add a little bit more spices next time, possibly more white pepper and maybe a touch more vinegar. That is a long way off though, like I said, this batch should last for at least two years.

Just Beets

I do not like pickled red beets, and neither does my father. But my mother likes them so I sown two packets of seed into one bed about 3×1,5 m. They did not look like much for most of the summer but like the pumpkins, they took off in August rather spectacularly. I was expecting a harvest of about 6 kg, I got 18.

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There were some impressive specimens in there, but there was also a lot of vole damage. About half the roots were gnawed on, some almost completely eaten. I would prefer if those fuckers were at least systematic in their damage and ate the whole root before starting to nibble on another. It is a lot more work to process a damaged root.

Even so, the harvest was significant and I just spent three whole days mostly working on this. We only have one pressure cooker and some beets were so big that they took up most of the space inside so it was almost non-stop boiling. My mother then peeled them and chopped them up to her preferred size and we canned them.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

It was a lot of work for little financial gain since pickled beets are fairly cheap. Financially, we would be actually losing money on this if I had better use of my time. But I don’t so my mother now has two-years worth of beets to snack when she wants to.

This does bring up a thing that has been on my mind a lot lately. I looked up some gardening things on YouTube and as it is, the algorithm started to recommend a lot of gardening videos all of a sudden. Some of them are good and I am always happy to learn, some are entertaining but not worth much, and some are downright fraudulent and/or stoopid (like pretending to grow a banana plant from banana peel).

It seems that there is a big fad going around about self-sufficiency and sustainability and these beets are a prime example of why that is simply not possible for most people.

I have over thirty years of experience in gardening and I have a huge garden (over 1500 ㎡). I also have very poor and rocky soil in my garden, and slugs, and water voles. But even if I had the best chernozem there is, and ideal pest control (cats, btw, do not usually hunt water voles, though their presence does deter them a bit), I could not be self-sufficient even if I did nothing else. Because whilst I can pull sometimes really impressive harvests even with the poor soil I have, and I could have rabbits, a goat, and/or poultry to eat the non-edible parts of plants and grass and slugs, etc. there is still one thing that can throw a stick into the spokes that is completely unpredictable and uncontrollable – the weather.

I wrote about how bad things looked in the summer this year. Some crops bounced back, some didn’t – very little onions and garlic, almost no strawberries (although that was intentional), no nuts, and no tree fruit whatsoever. And that is how things always go in small-scale growing. I can grow in a good year enough of some specific crop to last more than one year, but never the full spectrum and if it can’t be reliably preserved, it is waste anyway. To grow a full, balanced diet reliably, large-scale growing and, more importantly, trade over large-ish distances, are necessary.

The Great Disapotatoment

For the last few years, I have regularly grown three potato varieties – Marabel, Esme, and Dali. All three performed reasonably well, and I had some spectacular harvests. You may remember my last year’s experiment with growing potatoes under grass clipping, without tilling the soil. From less than one kg of tiny potatoes, I got approximately 40 kg of reasonably sized ones so I decided to try the same thing on a large scale, i.e. on my 40 m2 vegetable patch. I bought 10 kg of seeding potatoes from each of the above-mentioned varieties. I also planted again a mixture of all three varieties in the form of tiny potatoes left over from the previous year.

In the pictures here are all the potatoes from the main patch, not those from the secondary one.

First Marabel, a yellow variety with pale, whiteish flesh.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

This variety started to sprout first and thus was the most negatively damaged by the late frost. I got about 36 kg of potatoes fit for storage and about 6 kg of damaged potatoes that had to be processed straight away.

Then Esme, red potatoes with bright yellow yet floury flesh.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

These sprouted later and the plants did not look all that impressive, but there were more seeding potatoes in the 10 kg than of the previous variety, they were smaller. I got about 71 kg suitable for storage and again circa 6 kg that had to be processed immediately.

And lastly, Dali, a yellow variety with bright yellow, firm flesh.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

With this variety, the seedling potatoes were smaller too and thus there were more of them. I harvested approximately 61 kg fit for storage and about 8 kg to process immediately. It was also this variety that gave me the biggest potato of this year, an 850 g chunk.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

The overall harvest was thus circa 168 kg for storage and circa 20 kg of potatoes that had to be processed immediately (and those 20 kg are weighed after they were processed and all the waste thrown out btw). In the end, approximately 190 kg was harvested from 30 kg of seeding potatoes. Enough to meet all our needs for the next six months and we will have to spend a significant amount of time during winter to dehydrate or otherwise conserve them because we certainly won’t manage to eat them all before the weather starts to warm and they start sprouting. The cellar is rather cramped.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

So why I am not completely satisfied with the result?

Firstly from 30 kg of seeding potatoes, I would need to harvest at least 250 kg to be satisfied and 300 kg to be impressed. I estimated earlier that about 20 % of my potato patch was heavily damaged by the late frost, and that now appears to be a really good estimation – those 20 % are approximately what is missing to reach the desired 250 kg.

Secondly, an occasional impressive specimen notwithstanding, most of these potatoes are really small and quite a lot of them are partially green so there will be a lot of waste even from those in storage (and I will have to take care to ventilate the cellar properly to avoid build-up of noxious gasses). This is in part due to the used method – I did not have quite enough grass to cover the whole patch with a thick enough layer and as I mentioned previously, I lost some of that grass to strong winds in dry weather shortly after I planted the potatoes. As a result, they were partially exposed to the sun and that is not good. Partially green potatoes are edible, but all the green stuff needs to be cut away and thus I can expect about 5 to 10% waste. It is a thing to consider when trying this method in the future again.

Thirdly, that over 10% were so badly damaged by pests – voles and insects – is a bad sign. One of the reasons for trying the no-till method of growing potatoes was to prevent impaling a significant portion on the fork or cutting them with the plow. When growing potatoes the traditional way, I had higher yields and less pest damage.

Fourthly, I had a higher-than-usual amount of tiny potatoes under 2 cm – an estimated 10 kg. Normally those can be carefully washed and fried/baked with skin and eaten whole. But this year most of them are partially green so they are useless – they are too small to peel and cut off the green stuff and too green to eat whole. I will plant some next year, but the truth of the matter is, they are mostly waste.

As far as labor savings go, it was significantly less work to both plant and harvest them. I cannot complain about that at all, even though it was still a lot of work and after three days of picking, washing, drying, and weighing potatoes I was completely knackered.

In conclusion, the no-till method of growing potatoes has its plusses but significant pitfalls too. The potatoes are more susceptible to both weather and pests and tend to produce a lot of greens.

I will probably plow the patch now to mix in the old grass and the charcoal I added in the spring. Next year it will be peas, onions, and beans all around. I will cover a part of the lawn with grass clippings again to plant the leftover green and tiny potatoes in the spring, but I won’t be buying proper seeding potatoes next year. And the year after that, when I grow potatoes in the main patch again, I will probably return to the traditional method to get a higher yield from fewer seedings.

 

Can Ned Pump Kin Soup?

After a very bad spring, the pumpkin plants that I have did catch up in a big way. I already mentioned that, several times. I literally can’t give them away fast enough, I gave out over 30 kg and then I ran out of people to foist them on. Based on previous years, I expected about one-third of what I harvested in the end. I think the compost is to blame for this unexpected bonanza. I wonder what it would be like if the weather was not so cold in May and June and the plants did not grow stunted for the first half of the season.

But as the cold weather approaches and days shorten, the pumpkin plants did catch mildew on the leaves so I decided to cut them down and harvest all that was there. Now we need to process it.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

We have a lot of marrows and pattypans. In addition to what I already mentioned, we also made some canned fruit mixing the marrows with plums (we had to buy those, ours have frozen this spring) and we plan to make some more with apples and pears (we have to buy those too). I am afraid it still won’t be enough and we will end up throwing some away because they spoil before we get to process them.

I came up with the idea of making canned soup. We never did that before but my reasoning was that when we can make canned tomato sauce that lasts for years, we should be able to make pumpkin soup and expect it to last too.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

We started by cutting the pumpkins into small cubes and throwing them into the pot with a bit of salt. They do release enough water to cook without adding any.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

When the pumpkin cubes soften, we either mash them or shred them with a food mixer into a thin paste.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

Sometimes we added cooked carrots and some spices, to have some variety. No two batches were identical. One thing we always added though is boullion soupstock cubes.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

The onion harvest was truly abysmal but I did get at least a few dozen smallish bulbs that were just big enough to cook and add to some of the cans whole.

The result is oversalted and concentrated paste that we put into screw-top jars just like the sauce. When preparing, we plan to thin it down with water to soup consistency, ad some fresh spices and maybe some other veggies (baby carrots, peas, corn) and cook for about 20 minutes before serving. I hope the experiments works well because we already made over 20 cans and we still have to make more.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

Pattypans are not that good for soup, although we did use some to bulk up the tomato sauces. However, we still need to eat those eight pieces in the picture and here I came up with an idea to stuff them not with shredded meat, but with standard stuffing made from bread, eggs, veggies, and salami. It is a whole meal on its own and one such pattypan baked with mushrooms or green beans is food enough for the three of us for two days. But we still can’t eat them fast enough.

To top it off, today I harvested the hokkaido squash pumpkins.

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I planted eight plants but six were destroyed by slugs and one remained stunted the whole summer and bore just one fruit. The other one, however, took off magnificently in July and August and bore about as much fruit as I expected all eight plants together when I planted them. One of these will be made into a dozen or so small glasses of mustard. Two I managed to push into my neighbor’s hands. I don’t know yet what we do with the rest. Maybe some marmalade and some soup too.

Part of the problem is that I also had to harvest the potatoes because it is supposed to rain the next week and it is better to harvest them before the ground turns to mud. As a result, we have a lot of potatoes that also need to be processed quickly – about which I will write tomorrow.

Here Be Dragons

When I went on to water my greenhouses in the afternoon, this little fellow was on the wall just below the handrail.

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I suspect she was just as surprised as I was and she did stay still while I was trying to snap a few pictures with my phone without spooking her. After I came back from watering the tomatoes, she was still there, just a few cm further.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

She eyed me suspiciously and after I snapped a few more pictures in a better light, she finally got fed up with the strange giant who kept putting a big black rectangular thing near her and she jumped straight down (about 140 cm) and scuttled near the wall. She kept watching me warily from there and I did not snap more pictures because I did not want to stress her. When I went by again a few minutes later, she was away.

I have always liked lizards, I consider them to be beautiful. It lightens my mood to meet one in my garden, I like to know they are around.

Toe-May-Toe Saws

On Thursday, I harvested the first 5,5 kg tomatoes from the greenhouse.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

About 4 kg were ripe enough to be used straightaway and the rest we left in a bowl to ripen for now. And those already ripe had to be processed of course, so we made them into canned sauce.

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First I cut them all into eighths. This is a task where a big and scary sharp knife comes in handy because it is possible to cut multiple tomatoes with one cut. A small knife allows only work on single fruits and even a slightly dull one will do more squishing than cutting.

After cutting tomatoes, I also cut three big onions into quarter-crescents, two red bell peppers, and one small pattypan (optional) into small cubes (5-10 mm). I divided everything into halves because it was clear it wouldn’t fit into the pot all in one go.

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We have thrown the onions into hot oil to soften them. While they were bubbling we added spices – whole black pepper, allspice, and bay leaves (also homegrown, I have three Laurus nobilis plants) and let it all simmer together for a bit. BTW, that brown spot on the pot is a mystery – even when we wash it spotless with steel wool, which we do, it appears in the same spot once the pot is heated.

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When the onions were sufficiently glazy but not too soft, the tomatoes, peppers, and pattypan went into the pot too with a generous amount of salt and a bit of sugar. We let it simmer under a lid for twenty minutes and added one bouillon cube (also optional, soy sauce works well too) per 1 kg of tomatoes. These are ketchup tomatoes so they are not very juicy. This is a good thing because they make good thick sauce without the need to boil off too much water. They do contain just enough water to dissolve into a nice sauce.

Once the sauce was done, we put it into pre-heated jam jars with twist-off lids. My mother pre-heats the jars with steam because it sterilizes them better than just washing and it reduces the risk of the glass breaking due to thermal shock too.

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Once the lids created a vacuum seal, my mother labeled the jars and I took them into the cellar. These are circa 880 ml jars so this is about 7 l of tomato sauce prefabricate. In the cellar, it will keep for years (I think our record was five years). Essentially it only spoils if the lid is damaged and rusts through.

When preparing for eating, my mother adds cream and flour to thicken it into proper tomato sauce. One jar is enough for about 6-8 servings. It is great with pasta. It is one of my favourite foods so I do hope to harvest more tomatoes. In the greenhouse, it looks promising. Outside the greenhouse, it is a bust and I will run the tomatoes over with the lawnmower so they decompose quicker.

I got a break “Quod Subigo Farinam”

I took a few day’s break from working on the cutting boards and associated machinery because my car is in repair. Without it, I cannot buy the necessary materials, and it’s not worth ordering these online. I also cannot buy groceries until the car is repaired, so yesterday I baked bread, and today I baked pizza. It was under guidance from my mother who told me what to do and what ingredients to use etc. but I think I can claim most of the credit because I did most of the actual work and I did in fact knead the dough.

The bread looked kinda meh going in.

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But it looked splendid going out. I had it for dinner and it tasted absolutely fabulous. Not even the best bread bought at a supermarket can beat a home-baked loaf.

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The pizza looked as usual going in. I.E. a mess.

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And it did not look any better going out since pizza is one of those foods that looks like someone already ate it.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

But it tasted great too and after that lunch, I could not move for several hours and still have left over for dinner.

I also harvested about 45 kg of potatoes. The small patch near my greenhouse dried up about 90% already so I decided to dig them all up. 45 kg is a reasonable harvest considering that in this patch, I planted mainly leftover tiny/green potatoes from the previous year and about 5 kg of those that I could not fit into the main potato bed. Of these 45 kg about 34 kg were in good enough shape for storage and 11 kg need to be eaten or otherwise processed asap.

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Thus after the very crapy start of the year it at least appears I might get my money’s and time’s worth out of the garden after all. I already harvested enough pumpkin to can them as canned fruit (ala pineapple), pickled (ala gherkin), and sauerkraut ersatz to last for two years. I am still not even on the money due to the huge amount of molluscicides I had to use at the beginning of the growing season, but I should get there easily now. It would be strange if I did not get at least 100 kg of potatoes from the main patch and I will definitively get more pattypans and pumpkins still.

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Tomatoes outdoors got consumed by mold despite my best efforts. The weather was simply too wet and I could not spray them with fungicides all the time. At least the potatoes appear to have resisted it and the tomatoes in the greenhouse are shielded from rain and fog and thus so far resisted too. While annoying, it is not too big a loss. The weather was so cold and wet that the tomatoes outdoors did not grow above my knees anyway whereas those in the greenhouse are up to my shoulders, as shown in the picture. I hope those in the greenhouse do not catch it because if the weather stays reasonably warm, I could harvest tomatoes at least till the first frost. I would very much like to try my hand at homemade ketchup and dried tomatoes. It looks promising. The first tomato started to blush on August 2. and as these things usually go, others followed quickly after that. It takes about two weeks for a tomato to fully ripen therefore sometime toward the end of next week I should start harvesting.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

Like every year for the past few years, I planted beans along the south wall of our house. Those appear to have thrived and I can look forward to at least a few kg of shelled beans and some canned bean pods. Although I hope most of them ripen and dry – we still have not eaten all the canned pods from last year.

Did you have any success this year in your gardens? From what I read in the news, most people around the world do not experience abnormally cold and wet summer this year, quite the opposite. I would not mind the wet, but the cold is bumming me out. One of the strangest things that happened due to the cold weather is that some of the corn I planted in the spring started to grow only about two weeks ago. It appears that wet and too cold or dry and too hot are the only two options we have now. We haven’t had what I’d call a “normal” summer for about a decade by now.

 

Making a Thicknesser – Part 2 – The Failure

Fuck it. I did not expect to have to write this.

Works were progressing nicely, I ran several tests and optimization rounds. I got the thicknesser remove material in parallel both across and lengthwise with several iterations that I won’t write about now because they are moot. It was working adequately. Also as I wrote, I did try to plane one board across the grain manually and it worked just fine. I really did not expect any significant problems. I was ronk.

Today I glued sacrificial sides to all my kitchen boards and decided to try to flatten those. The first one I tried to push under the thicknesser, removing barely 1 mm of material – BOOM. And the planer was broken. When I disassembled it I found out that for some reason the wood bent the steel knife of the planer, thus it bit into the housing. Subsequently, the propulsion shaft broke off and the aluminium cylinder for the knives got deformed too.

Apparently, planing hardwood across the grain is even more pernicious than I expected. Now I don’t have an electric planer anymore. That would not be a problem since I do not really need one. However, I still do not have a thicknesser, which I do need. And I have several glued-up boards which I cannot finish with a reasonable amount of work. This is a huge setback and I am at a loss about how to proceed.

I can buy a new hand planer but it won’t fit in the stand I built. I can’t buy the same one because it is no longer on sale and it is no longer possible to get replacement parts to fix it. Not to mention that when I removed the cover, so many metal parts were bent out of shape or broken that repair is probably not feasible. Now  I am even afraid to run these boards through any kind of thicknesser whatsoever. If I bought a thicknesser for 500,-€, and found a way to fit it into my workshop somehow and this happened, saying that I would not be happy would be an understatement of the year, I would be ruined.

Making a Thicknesser – Part 1 – The Dread

I glued up seven boards and I tried to flatten them with the drum sander. At first, it always appears to progress reasonably quickly but as the boards get flatter, the abraded surface gets bigger and thus I have to slow down to not burn the wood. And when I get to an almost flat board with a few deeper spots it slows to a crawl. I was aware that this might happen and I hoped to avoid it by being diligent when gluing the boards. It did not work. One part of the problem was that I cut these with my old slightly blunt and wobbly table saw blade so they were not very precise. The other part of the problem was that no matter what I did the boards shifted while the glue was curing. Even when I tried to insert dowel rods to prevent it.

So I tried to flatten one board with my electric hand planer. It worked, just so-so. It did reduce the time needed on the drum sander later on but the surface was still way too wavy for that to be the solution. I am not very good with the hand planer, I rarely need it so I lack the experience to use it properly. I also hate it, it is heavy and the gyroscopic precession makes it unwieldy.

So, the drum sander works splendidly for perfectly flattening surfaces but I need something else to remove material more aggressively first. In other words, I need a thicknesser. I really hoped I could avoid this.

As with the drum sander, there are two obstacles to simply buying one. I am broke and none of those that I could find on the internet would fit into my shop anyways. I toyed with the idea of attempting to make a second drum for my drum sander, but I rejected it – I would need really high rpm and there’s no way I can make this thing so precise to not be dangerous when spinning really fast. My electric planer came with a jointer adapter that I never use because, despite appearances, I like having all ten fingers. However, that adapter means one thing – the planer has anchor points for fixing it somewhere permanently. So I decided to try and use those.

First I spent a few days being grumpy and thinking about how to do it. I rejected at least three ideas of my own and three that I found on the internet. There were some good solutions to be found but they all required something that I lack, usually space and versatility. I need something compact that can be set up relatively quickly and easily, I cannot store a dozen or so shims and spacers or have huge skids and guidance rod protruding on sides. I was constantly going through my scrap piles and thinking about what could be useful and how. And two days ago I finally arrived at an idea that I thought is worth trying to realize and I made a very rough sketch of the various parts that I will need.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

The materials I initially gathered were: 4 pieces of angled iron, 6 black locust boards, 2 offcuts of 22 mm galvanized piping, an old spigot handle, two hammer-in M10 nuts, an M10 threaded rod, and a handful of woodscrews. I still dreaded the start of the work because I am constitutionally incapable of precise work and this does require precision.

I started by cutting all the black locust boards to size and shape and smoothing the surfaces on my belt sander.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

I also flattened two boards on my drum sander to get perfectly flat and parallel surfaces and I glued them into a bigger block. I would use one piece of wood but I could not find one of sufficient size.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

This has shown that whilst for my sloppy work most of the blame goes on my two left hands, part of the blame was on my tools too. With a new, sharp, and thick blade suddenly my table saw was capable of cutting black locust wood to precise dimensions and at really right angles. The use of a drum sander made making two surfaces mate perfectly positively easy. After three days of work, I got to this.

© Charly, all rights reserved. Click for full size.

I managed to fix the planer to the scaffolds and run a small board under it. That is a very tentative sign that this might actually work.

I will write more in detail about all the individual parts and the whole thing when it is finished. If it fails, I will write about it too. I won’t progress much in the next two days, however. Tomorrow I must take my father to the hospital because he injured his knee and what I will do next depends on what the diagnosis is going to be. We might need to buy new crutches, with underarm support.