The very last user on Twitter
Will proudly declare “I’m no quitter!”
And the self-described hero
(With followers zero)
Will watch it all flush down the shitter.
(Much easier than parodying Ozymandias)
[Read more…]
They’re putting guns on robot dogs
And teaching them to dance
They kick their heels and bounce around
Like playful ponies prance [Read more…]
Come gather ‘round people, wherever you roam
And examine the polling from Tampa to Nome
And everywhere else that True Patriots call home
Where American Flags are still draping
And where people in need of ten yards of screened loam
Call for Four Seasons Total Landscaping [Read more…]
As I watch the people protest
And I read the homemade signs
I decipher what they’re thinking—-
I can read between the lines—-
As they shout their catchy slogans
Till they’re nearly out of breath
What they’re saying (and not saying)
Is quite simply “I choose death” [Read more…]
The experts have devised a plan
To let us open schools [Read more…]
Let’s all stay at home; let the virus inspire us!
Write musicals, histories, science, and art!
A new generation of “latest and greatest”
(As soon as I get off this couch, I will start). [Read more…]
The President, a gormless ghoul,
Is sending children back to school
Where anyone (except that fool)
Can see what will result:
See, kids have always spread disease
They’ll bring a district to its knees
While Trump just tweets and tweets that he’s
Completely not at fault [Read more…]
It might effect the elderly
It might effect the sickly
It might effect a bunch of us
If nothing changes quickly [Read more…]
It was thanksgiving morning
The turkey I’d chosen
Had thawed for five days
But was still a bit frozen [Read more…]
I cannot bring myself to link to the inspiration for this one. It exists on twitter, in the president’s own tweets, for those who crave punishment. It is a bad photoshop, of Tr*mp’s head on the body of a boxer (the pugilist kind, not the dog, which would have been both better and worse). Edit: Or you could look here.
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