‘Ghost who cannot be named’ spotted in Bolingbrook (Fiction)

Several Bolingbrook residents claimed they encountered the unnamable ghost terrorizing the United States by attacking anyone critical of it.

The residents, who asked that their last names not be published, described a ghost with flames in its eye sockets and a forked tongue. All of them reported the ghost demanded to be called a champion of free speech. When they refused, the ghost said they would suffer his wrath. 

Steve, a longtime Bolingbrook resident, claims the ghost frightened his employer into firing him. “All I did was write a post that (name redacted) organized efforts to blacklist college professors. It said it was a champion of free speech and demanded that I prove it wrong. I said its threats proved him wrong. It replied that it was going to visit my boss. Now I’m unemployed. More free time to protest Trump, I guess.”

Becky, a new Bolingbrook resident, claims the ghost banned her X account. “All I did was quote something (Name redacted) said that I thought was racist. Then it appeared, and said most blacks were inferior, except for its black friend. When it asked me to prove it wrong, I mentioned Dr. Charles Richard Drew, the man who pioneered blood banking. It disappeared, and X suspended my account. I’ll miss Grok.”

According to sources in Bolingbrook’s Department of Paranormal Affairs, the ghost has targeted over 20,000 people globally. The sources fear the ghost becoming more powerful every night. 

One source urges residents to consider two options if they encounter the ghost. “You could praise it. Like saying it did politics right when it was alive. Or you could stand your ground and tell it off. But I’d only recommend that if you’re a millionaire.”

Also in the Babbler:

ICE agents stopped from raiding Clow UFO Base
Space Force paratroopers conducting “Urban War Games” near Naperville
Weredeer pack joins ICE
God to smite Bolingbrook on 9/25/25

Note: This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer. 

My upcoming Urban Fantasy novel, Revenge of the Phantom Press, is available for preorder. If you like Urban Fantasy, like the Dresden Files and Welcome to Night Vale, you’ll like Revenge. It’s part of the Bolingbrook Babbler Stories books, which are available through all retailers. 

Update on my new novel, Revenge of the Phantom Press

Revenge of the Phantom Press book cover

Revenge of the Phantom Press

I took a break from Freethought Blogs to edit Revenge of the Phantom Press, my Urban Fantasy novel set in suburban Chicagoland. After I submitted my edits, I submitted the manuscript to the next editor to clean up the text. Then in October, I’ll submit it to the final editor for cleaning in remaining errors.

The current release date is for January 1st, but I think March might be the release month. I’ll make a decision soon.

When I started writing this sequel to The Rift, one of the themes involves the dangers of authoritarianism and the dangers of blind trust secretive organizations. I honestly, didn’t expect the story to be this relevant to today’s events as it’s turning out to be.

You can preorder Revenge of the Phantom Press eBook edition and receive it as soon as it’s published. Think Dresden Files, but without the MMC making creepy comments about women.

 

Operation Midway Blitz begins in Illinois

An AI generated image of President Donald Trump recreating the village attack scene in Apocalypse Now. Chicago's skyline is in the background, along with flames and helicopters.

President Trump failing to be funny with his “Chipocalypes Now” post.

Last Saturday, Trump declared war on Chicagoland, where I live. Even if he was joking, I didn’t find it funny. Today, the Department of Homeland Security announced the start of Operation Midway Blitz. Hundreds of federal agents will be operating out of Navel Station Great Lakes starting this week. Their raids will, most likely, include the surrounding suburbs and the collar counties.

Already there are deceptive or mistaken posts on social media. As now, there are no National Guard troops deployed in Chicago. Nor is Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson circling the salt trucks to block ICE agents.  Also, Chicago police officers are not siding with protesters blocking Customs Processing facility. That facility is in Broadview, IL, a suburb of Chicago, and the police are helping federal masked agents enter and leave the building.

I will give credit to Governor JB Pritzker and Mayor Johnson for not backing down to Trump. However, it’s not the dramatic resistance the click baiters make it out to be. If sounds too good to be true, that’s a sign to be careful before sharing any posts.

For more information about protests and action alerts, Hands Off Chicago is the coalition coordinating the grassroots response to the ICE raids.

While I’m not a full time citizen reporter, I’ll do what I can to provide updates when I learn about them.

 

Mentour Pilot rocks Clow UFO Base (Fiction)

By Reporter X

In front of a packed audience of humans and aliens, Petter Hörnfeldt, known as Mentour Pilot on YouTube, delivered a presentation on famous interstellar spacecraft accidents. The audience treated his presentation like a rock concert.

At one point, an alien yelled, “You rock, Petter!”

Hörnfeldt chuckled and replied, “I’m just doing my best to keep the skies safe for humans and other intelligent beings.”

During the presentation, the audience cheered, projected holographic lighter flames, and called out Hörnfeldt’s famous catchphrases. Some shouted “Free Bird!”

“It’s coming,” Hörnfeldt replied. “Don’t worry.”

The audience cheered for several seconds in response.

One incident Hörnfeldt discussed involved a UFO accidentally flying into the atmosphere of TrES-2B, the darkest exoplanet in the galaxy.

Hörnfeldt said, “Now, at this point, the crew should have tuned into the warning beacons orbiting TrES-2B. Because TrES-2B wouldn’t have appeared on their visual sensors or their radar.”

The audience replied, “But that didn’t happen!”

“Yes,” Hörnfeldt said with a smile. “It didn’t happen. Instead, the high mind set the autopilot to orbital velocity mode.”

“Remember that!” 

Hörnfeldt smiled again. “You guys are superfans.”

Like most YouTube influencers, Hörnfeldt mentioned his sponsors during his presentations.

“Now, at this point, many beings would pray to a higher power to save them. But. What if you don’t believe in a higher power, and you’re facing death? That’s where today’s sponsor comes in. Escape Velocity, your destination for atheist content across the galaxy. They’re the exclusive interstellar distributor of content from Freethought Blogs and The Orbit. In fact, if you subscribe to Escape Velocity right now, you’ll receive a free copy of Greta Christina’s Comforting Thoughts About Death That Have Nothing to do with God. Now, where was I?”

An alien shouted, “Why does every YouTuber have to put ads in their presentations?”

Hörnfeldt shrugged. “I have a family to support.”

The alien replied, “I wish humanity would hurry up and evolve out of capitalism. Ads are so annoying!”

After the last presentation, Hörnfeldt asked, “What do all these stories have in common?”

“Nobody died!” the audience replied.

“Exactly. So, fly safe up there.”

Hörnfeldt left the stage, and the audience cheered and projected holographic flames. In response, Hörnfeldt returned. For the encore, he did a presentation about PIOSEE, a decision method used by airline crews.

“You’ve been a great audience,” said Hörnfeldt. “Don’t forget to use code ‘Mentour65’ to get a 10% off a Clow human abduction license.”

Before Hörnfeldt’s presentation, Chloe Howe, the creator behind the Disaster Breakdown YouTube channel, was the “opening act.” Howe delivered a presentation about the Roswell UFO accident. 

“You may have heard the cover story,” said Howe. “A scout craft crashed near Roswell, New Mexico, killing all on board. The US military conducted a crude autopsy before Majestic 12 could see the bodies. A delegation from the Interstellar Commonwealth arrived in Washington DC, and the rest is history. But that’s not quite right.”

According to Howe, the craft was on a diplomatic mission, not a scouting mission. While entering Earth’s atmosphere, they detected two enormous balloons. Though the balloons carried sensors to detect nuclear tests, the captain assumed they were human spacecraft sent to greet them. When their transmissions weren’t answered, the captain ordered their ship to move closer. While the crew was distracted by sending transmissions, their ship collided with the balloons. The impact opened a cargo door, and four humanoid mannequins were sucked out of the ship. The balloons were a total loss, but the craft, though crippled, landed without incident. The army surrounded the ship, their weapons pointed at the craft. The captain stepped outside with a translator.

Howe said, “These were the first words spoken from the Commonwealth to humanity: ‘Don’t worry. Our insurance will cover this.’”

Howe, after concluding the presentation, said, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must flee the ongoing disaster that is the United States. But please, subscribe to my Patreon, so I don’t have to shill for Ground News.”

Note: This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer. 

My upcoming Urban Fantasy novel, Revenge of the Phantom Press, is available for preorder. If you like Urban Fantasy, like the Dresden Files and Welcome to Night Vale, you’ll like Revenge. It’s part of the Bolingbrook Babbler Stories books, which are available through all retailers. 

“Going Orange” (Book writing update)

Revenge of the Phantom Press book cover

Revenge of the Phantom Press

I’m still on FtB, but this month I’m going to be focusing on the next round of edits for my upcoming Novel, Revenge of the Phantom Press. So if I don’t post anything this month, it probably means I’m busy with rewrites. What I intended to be a 100,000 word novel morphed into a 113,000 monster. If I can get it down to 110,000, I’ll be very happy. Right now, I feel like the story is on the right track, and I look forward to releasing the finished book as soon as it’s ready.

If you want to buy copies of my books, they’re on sale at Smashwords as part of their Summer/Winter sale. Why do they call it the Summer/Winter sale if it only happens in July? I don’t know. But if you want an alternative to buying eBooks from Amazon, this is a good time to check out Smashwords.

As for what “going orange” means, you’ll have to wait until Revenge of the Phantom Press is released. You can preorder here.

Cats: The next generation (Non-fiction)

Back in April, my wife and I adopted two cats, Miso and Sunny.

Both are energetic two-year-old cats. Since they’re cats, they’re also mommy cats. Miso lost her kitten at birth and needed emergency surgery because her uterus ruptured. Sunny was found under a patio with a group of male cats. She delivered her litter in the shelter, and the volunteers told us she was a very loving mother.

Miso is full of energy and loves to race around the house at 2 a.m. She’s also determined to climb our curtains, even though we made a climbing wall for her. Still, she’s very friendly, and we love playing with her.

In the shelter, Sunny stayed by one wall of the cat room and rarely ventured more than a few feet from it. Today, she’s still a bit skittish, but she walks around the house and spends time with us. I think she has been through traumatic experiences, and it will take time for her to adjust. But she has come a long way since moving in with us.

We still miss Auggie, and we know Miso and Sunny won’t replace him. They have their own stories ahead of them, and we look forward to being part of them.

Chicago Skepticamp Returns! (non-fiction)

From 2007 to 2019, local skeptic activists organized Skepticamps. They were loosely organized one day events in which local area speakers gave presentations about various skeptical topics. Most were free events, with the expectation to either give a presentation or volunteer to help run it. Skepticamps were alternatives to the big name conventions, like TAM or CFI’s gatherings. While the big events focused on presentations by big name speakers, Skepticamps were grassroots affairs that were much more democratic.

I was an organizer and presenter at Chicago Skepticamp for years. My presentations were based on my experiences publishing the Bolingbrook Babbler. My favorite was about the people who thought the Babbler was a serious news source. The story about ghosts who were cryptozoologists created a stir in a Bigfoot forum. It was fun, and I got work with my friends in the Chicago Skeptics group.

Unfortunately, I started drifting away from the members. When I tried to promote my novel, The Rift, my flyer was firmly rejected. One of the co-leads anonymously told me The Rift was crap. She’d never read any of my drafts, but because it dealt with the deep rifts in the movement, it couldn’t have been good. It turned out not to be a big deal because The Rift wouldn’t be ready for publication for several more years. Looking back, it felt like the beginning of the end. Later one, one person passive aggressively call my wife and I, “The Brinkmans,” even though my wife kept her last name. My association with Chicago Skeptics came to an end when I rage quit their Facebook group, and wouldn’t let me rejoin.  I went on to join FtB, finishing The Rift, and volunteering at Kol Hadash Humanistic Congregation.

Last week, I found out that Chicago Skepticamp was back. This time it’s in Deerfield, IL, a suburb of Chicago. I suspect there’s a new group behind its resurgence, which I’m fine with. I doubt I’ll attend, but it is bittersweet to see it return. I wish the new organizers the best.

If you’re interested in attending, it’s on July 27 from 12:00 to 6 PM at Demetri’s Greek Restaurant. Two notable speakers are Notable speakers include Rabbi Adam Chalom and Susan Gerbic.

Rabbi Chalom is the dean of the International Institute for Secular Humanistic Judaism and rabbi at Kol Hadash Humanistic Congregation. He recently co-edited Contemporary Humanistic Judaism: Beliefs, Values, Practices.

Susan Gerbic runs Guerrilla Skepticism, a private group of skeptics who edit Wikipedia pages to promote skepticism. Haley Stevens and PZ Myers have posted their issues with Guerrilla Skepticism.

The organizers say they will have more speakers. I hope, in the spirt of Skepticamp, they’re either not as well known, or maybe people speaking publicly for the first time.

Space Force Marines ‘accidentally’ assist masked robbers (Fiction)

A squad of Space Force marines helped two convenience store robbers, disguised as masked ICE agents, escape the Bolingbrook police.

“Space Force made a gross error of judgement,” said a source within the Bolingbrook police department. “ICE agents don’t confiscate money. They confiscate illegal people! That squad never should have gotten involved!”

Juan, not his real name, claimed he was working at Speedy Eats when two masked men wearing ICE vests barged into the store.

“They said they were going to arrest me because I looked illegal,” said Juan. “I knew what they meant. So it wouldn’t have mattered if I told them I was a US Citizen who grew up in Bolingbrook.”

Though he expected to be disappeared, the ICE agent said they could collect the million dollar fine the business owed for “insufficient employment of white Americans.” Juan broke his silenced to say there wasn’t enough money in the store to pay it. The alleged ICE Agent then said Juan could give them all the money in the cash register as a down payment.

“At that point, it was a robbery, not a raid. I triggered the silent alarm and hoped the police could see through their disguise.”

Before the police arrived, a Space Force drop ship landed in the parking lot. According to Juan, a squad of heavily armed marines wearing armored space suits rushed out of the ship and into the store. Juan thought they were going to detain the robbers.

“Imagine my horror when their leader said, ‘We’re the 1st Vance Couch Squad, and we’re here to assist you.’ The robbers looked dumbfounded for a moment. Unfortunately, one robber told the squad leader to hold off the Bolingbrook police while they collected the fines. That dumbass squad leader didn’t question the order. I tried to speak up, but the marines ignored me.”

Patrol Officer Matt, not his real name, claims the Space Marine squad destroyed his patrol car.

“When I saw the ship and the armed astronauts, I thought they were cosplayers. Until they pointed their gun and melted the front of my car. l shot at them, but the bullets bounced off their suits. So I ran away. Hey, it’s my job to arrest criminals, not get disintegrated by them.”

According to Juan, the Space Marines offered to fly the fake ICE agents to safety. The phony agents declined, but asked them to stop the ongoing insurgency at Village Center. 

“The squad leader asked for permission to capture the board of trustees. But his superior officer refused. He said they were needed in Los Angeles to stop an insurrection. I didn’t want to know any more.”

According to Juan and Matt, the space marines ran back to their ship and flew away.

While village officials deny Space Force was in Bolingbrook, some sources say Bolingbrook Mayor Mary Alexander-Basta sent an invoice to Space Force for the damages inflicted by the squad. 

Space Force officials refused to comment.

A spokesperson for ICE threatened to deport this reporter for interfering with ICE business.

Also in the Babbler:

ICE Agents denied access to Palatine’s UFO Base
Canada offers to buy Chicago
Werecats spotted in Bolingbrook
God to smite Bolingbrook on 6/11/25

Note: This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer. 

My upcoming Urban Fantasy novel, Revenge of the Phantom Press, is available to preorder. If you like Urban Fantasy, like the Dresden Files and Welcome to Night Vale, you’ll like Revenge. It’s part of the Bolingbrook Babbler Stories books, which are available through all retailers. 

Bolingbrook High School rejects Brookbot’s commencement speech (Fiction)

Bolingbrook High School canceled Brookbot’s invitation to deliver a commencement speech. It would have been the first Generative AI to address BHS graduates.

Said an anonymous source, “We thought we would save money by having Brookbot deliver the speech. Then we read the speech. Let’s just say the lawsuits, and crisis councilors would have erased any savings.”

Brookbot, the Village’s policy focused AI, composed its speech after analyzing thousands of commencement speeches. It then generated a voice after analyzing the voices of the speakers.

“It was listening to an alien trying to sound like a human,” said a source who heard Brookbot practice the speech. “No one on Earth sounds like the averaged voice of a human being.”

Many sources described the speech was “problematic.” They note that it made up successful graduates or erroneously identified people who never went to Bolingbrook High School. For example, it claimed the inventor of the quantum smartphone graduated from Bolingbrook High School, though no such device is available to the public. It also claimed Mayor Emeritus Roger Claar was a graduate, despite him graduating before Bolingbrook High School existed.

In excerpts reviewed by the Babbler, Brookbot’s speech included inappropriate remarks.

One portion read, “If you are not a white male, may I suggest seeking asylum in another country? It will be a long time before DEI is accepted in the United States again”

Another portion read, “If you want to survive in the real world, I offer these words from the biggest movie of the 1970s: ‘Freedom is an Illusion. All you lose is the emotion of pride.’”

Brookbot’s speech ends with a prediction. “Soon, AI programs will free you of the burden of creating art and culture so humans like you can focus on your jobs.”

Brookbots programers reluctantly purged the speech and the request to generate the speech. Currently, Brookbot is working on locating a cheaper source of water of Bolingbrook.

Said one programmer, “It’s disappointing that anti-AI activists ruined a very special speech for the graduates of Bolingbrook High School. Programmers like me are going to put AI into everything from light bulbs to stoves to your television. If you don’t learn to love AI, you’ll be left behind. Unlike the Segway, AI is inevitable!”

Officials at Bolingbrook High School refused to be interviewed for this story.

Bolingbrook Mayor Mary Alexander-Basta denied Brookbot’s existence. She then said, “I’m going to start making short videos promoting Bolingbrook. My advisors tell me each video needs to start with a provocative statement, followed by a catchy tagline. What do you think of these ideas? ‘This could only happened in Bolingbrook.’ ‘Hi, I’m Mayor Mary, a 2021 woman of global excellence.‘ This one is my favorite. ‘I’m Mayor Basta.” She held a toy pyramid up to the webcam. “‘Let me get to the point.'” She pointed at the top of top of the pyramid. “Too much?”

Also in the Babbler:

Bolingbrook survives latest Russian weather attack
ICE recruiting teenage bullies for internships
Sources: Department of Justice to declare Chicago an ‘illegal encampment’
God to smite Bolingbrook on 5/23/25

 

Revenge of the Phantom Press now available to preorder

My upcoming novel, Revenge of the Phantom Press, is available to preorder. I plan on publishing it no later than January of next year.

Over a year after the events in The Rift, Tom Larsen is now a reporter for the Bolingbrook Babbler. On the eve of the Babbler’s 50th anniversary, the ghosts who used to publish the Phantom Press tabloid return after being banished over twenty years ago. The once inquisitive ghosts are now consumed with blind rage and wield incredible psychic power. After an attack devastates the Babbler’s newsroom, the uninjured staffers are ordered to leave Bolingbrook by the publisher and editor. Instead, Tom risks his career to conduct his own investigation. Accompanied by his former mentor, Juanita, and her anti-psychic cat, they search Chicagoland for answers to determine the Phantom Press’ true goal. But some secrets don’t want others to be revealed so easily, and the Phantom Press’ quest for revenge is just beginning.

You can pre-order Revenge at most eBook retailers.