From the Webmaster: Maybe Milo and skepticism shouldn’t mix?

By Wendy Onofrey

Webmaster for the Bolingbrook Babbler

For some reason, Skeptic decided to post a review of Milo Yiannopoulos’s new book Dangerous.  Let’s just say that if Michael Shermer’s Moral Arc bends towards Milo, then count the staff of the Babbler out.

PZ Myers rightly condemns this favorable review.

Of course, this ‘review’ cites all the usual crap: Christina Hoff Sommers, there is no such thing as rape culture, except that when there is it comes from Islam, the police are the greatest defenders of the black community, and of course, political correctness, identity politics, and cultural Marxism. It’s a totally mindless recitation of the nonsense you get on Reddit and in YouTube comments.

Even Hayley Stevens has problems with the review and what its publication says about the skeptical movement.

Something like skepticism, as an approach to assessing claims and being proactive about tackling harmful misinformation, should be as free from ideologies as possible, and yet certain sections of organized skepticism (read: American, male, rich, and famous) seem to specifically target feminists, “identity politics” and some areas of the LGBTQ community – namely trans* people while writing fond reviews of problematic public figures such as Milo.

When Hayley and PZ agree, that’s a sign that maybe you’re doing something wrong.

To add insult to injury, Phil Torres writes for Salon about what he sees as the descent of New Atheism.

Although the new atheist movement once filled me with a great sense of optimism about the future of humanity, this is no longer the case. Movements always rise and fall — they have a life cycle, of sorts — but the fall of this movement has been especially poignant for me. The new atheists of today would rather complain about “trigger warnings” in classrooms than eliminate rape on campuses. They’d rather whine about “safe spaces” than help transgender people feel accepted by society. They loudly claim to support free speech and yet routinely ban dissenters from social media, blogs and websites.

All in all, it hasn’t been a good week for New Atheism.

Time for me to back to work on the next issue of the Babbler.  The staff on a big story that I plan on posting on Monday or Tuesday.

From the Webmaster: Save Snopes (Mixed)

We’ve had disagreements with Snopes before.  OK, a lot of differences, but we can’t deny that they are one of the best sites on the Internet.  With “fake news” and “alternative facts” flooding the Internet, they’re one of the best places to go for real news and real facts.

Is this the end of Snopes?

Now they’re facing financial problems and a legal dispute which may force them to shut down.

Since our inception, we have always been a self-sustaining site that provides a free service to the online world: we’ve had no sponsors, no outside investors or funding, and no source of revenue other than that provided by online advertising. Unfortunately, we have been cut off from our historic source of advertising income.

We had previously contracted with an outside vendor to provide certain services for Snopes.com. That contractual relationship ended earlier this year, but the vendor will not acknowledge the change in contractual status and continues to essentially hold the Snopes.com web site hostage. Although we maintain editorial control (for now), the vendor will not relinquish the site’s hosting to our control, so we cannot modify the site, develop it, or — most crucially — place advertising on it. The vendor continues to insert their own ads and has been withholding the advertising revenue from us.

Snopes has setup a fundraising page in response.  As of this writing, it’s still short of its $500,000 goal.  Most of the staff of the Babbler, including myself, have donated.

For over twenty years, Snopes has practiced skepticism in its purest form.  If we’re willing to support it, then maybe all of the skeptical readers who frequent Freethought Blogs should too.

Wendy Onofrey
Webmaster for the Bolingbrook Babbler

Web Exclusive: Skeptic Society named official skeptic organization of the Illuminati (Fiction)

By Reporter X

The Skeptics Society is now the official skeptical organization of the Illuminati.

A UFO greets the Skeptics Society at Clow UFO Base.

First Lady Melania Trump announced the decision during a press conference at Bolingbrook’s Clow UFO Base.  She explained that since evicting the Center for Inquiry, and Skepchick, from all Illuminati controlled bases, a “debunking gap” has formed.

“The illegal New World Order advertise that they have the best debunkers working for them.  That is an alternative fact!  Our alliance with the Skeptics Society means that we not only have the best UFO debunkers in the world, we also have the best gas lighters, period.  Illuminati bases are now the only rational choice for any visitors to the best planet in the universe.”

Mrs. Trump then introduced the Skeptics Society Executive Director Michael Shermer.  She praised his efforts to “subtlety” encourage atheists to support President Donald Trump.

“Michael knows that my husband is the key to transitioning from global order to global chaos.  It is natural that he would choose to ally his society with the Illuminati.”

Shermer reached for Mrs. Trump as she approached the table.  Mrs. Trump and her guards glared at him.  Shermer backed away, then addressed the press:

“The human race has been fooled into believing that the New World Order has made the world better.  The mind of the market makes the world better.  I support the Illuminati’s efforts to liberate the world’s markets! Fnord!”

Bolingbrook Mayor Roger Claar welcomed Shermer and the new embassy staff members to Clow UFO Base:

“When I need a UFO sighting debunked, I will be happy to only deal with one group of skeptics.  Skepchick staffers were OK, even if I didn’t agree with them.  With CFI, I never knew where they stood.  One minute they were liberal.  The next they were conservative.  You never knew.  With the Skeptics Society, I know I’m dealing with an organization that is committed to the goals of the Illuminati.  Ford!”

Claar then announced the cancellation of the Skeptics Guide to the Universe live recording at Clow.  As the aliens expressed disapproval, Claar explained that he made the decision because the SGU were still loyal to the New World Order.

Next, he introduced two members of the Skepticality Team: Tim Farley, and Derek Colanduno.  Skepticality would be substituting for the SGU because they are the official podcast of the Skeptics Society.

A reporter said, “I think I remember Skepticality.  Will Swoopy be part of the live recording?”

“No,” answered Claar.  “She’s too busy with school work.”

The aliens expressed their disappointment.

“(Expletive Deleted) you!”  Said Colanduno.  “I work hard to produce these episodes!”

Shermer walked backstage as Colanduno calmed down.

Farley, who seemed to be in a better mood, said he was excited about the upcoming recording.  “What’s the harm in supporting the Illuminati?  There is no harm!  It’s great, and I can’t wait to touch the glowing orb.  Fnord!”

Colanduno said it was time to look forward.  “I don’t want to harp on the past. I can’t keep looking in my rear view mirror. Brian Dunning said it best: We have purged the irrational and emotional frauds, and now have a pure skeptical movement that is dedicated to reason and—”  He jumped up from his chair.  “Science!”

Shermer then was tossed back onto the stage when something crash landed on the table.  An alien from Barnard’s Star planet walked out.

“When I say leave me alone, I mean leave me alone!” , said the alien as she walked away.

Shermer stood up.  “Female oversensitivity seems to be a universal problem.”  Shemer laughed, but no one else did.  “Now we will show the funky side of skepticism by inviting George Hrab on stage for a special performance.”

Claar then inquired: “I thought Tim Minchin was going to be the performer?”

Shermer replied: “He insisted on playing the Pope Song in front of Melania.  So I had to send him home.”

Claar: “Good choice.  I think we’ve had enough free speech here for one day.”

Bolingbrook man debunks skepticism (Fiction)

Vince Q. Baker, who recently moved to Bolingbrook, says he debunked skepticism by having a fake article posted in a skeptical Facebook group.

“Thanks to my hoax, everyone is now free to research Bigfoot, UFOs, the Loch Ness Monster, and mermaids without fear of bullying from skeptics!”

Baker, who reads about the paranormal every day on the Internet, was sick of seeing skeptics “trolling” his favorite sites.  Since he believes that skeptics are just people who blindly follow men like James Randi and Richard Dawkins, he decided to debunk skepticism. He attempted to have a fake article published in a prominent skeptical magazine or blog.

He titled his 2000 word article, “Debunking UFOS and Bigfoot: Why smart people aren’t as skeptical as you.”   Baker filled the article with references to Randi, Dawkins, Sam Harris, Christopher Hitchens, and Michael Shermer. He also added, “skeptical words, and technical words,” to make the reader feel important.

Baker provided a copy of the article to the Babbler. It starts with this lead:

“People who are smart like PZ Myers, can suffer from cognitive dissonance, as is suspected of every member of Atheism+, and thus cannot achieve the deeper understanding, as demonstrated by Richard Dawkins, that can lead to the acceptance of realistic views of race, IQ scores, evolutionary psychology, and gender equality, as well the rejection of UFOs, El Chupacabra, homeopathy, and any so-called “wave” of feminism.”

Baker claims that he submitted the article to the Skeptical Inquirer, one of the major magazines of the skeptical movement.  He later received an unsigned rejection letter, with a handwritten note, stating that he should ask the Bolingbrook Skeptics if he could post it in their closed Facebook group.  The letter concluded by saying that SI had already selected their stories for the next five years, and wished Baker good luck with his future endeavors.

According to Baker, he then created a fake profile and submitted a join request to the Bolingbrook Skeptics’ Facebook group.  Once accepted, he posted his article and waited.

“There were a few likes and some comments about being confused by the writing.  Still, the story wasn’t pulled.  That means I debunked skepticism, and that we’re now ok to ponder free energy machines, and Hollow Earth Theory!  I am now the most important resident in the history of Bolingbrook!”

When asked to comment, the Bolingbrook Skeptics sent this message:  “As skeptics, we must admit our mistakes to each other, but we are not required to confess them to you.  May you purveyors of woo be strangled by his noodly appendages!  Argh!”

Beth, a spokesperson for the Committee for Skeptical Inquiry, SI’s publisher, denied receiving the article or rejecting it.

“Even if we had published it, so what?  It just would have meant that we made a mistake.  Just like when a nuclear physics conference accepted a paper that was written by only using autocomplete.  It didn’t debunk physics.  It just ruined the reputation of the conference.”

A man in the background spoke up:  “Hi Beth.  Once you’re done with that call, I need you to work on a press release.”

“Okay.”

“You know about the phony paper Peter Boghossian and James Lindsay were shopping around?”

“Yeah.  It was rejected by NORMA, which proved that there is at least one gender studies journal with standards.”

“Well, they got it published in Cogent Social Sciences, meaning that we just debunked the entire field of gender studies!”

“What?  That’s not right.”

“Well,  Richard Dawkins thinks it’s right, and that’s all that matters.  So I need the press release out ASAP.”

“But–”

“You know what employment prospects are like for people who leave openly atheistic organizations?  Oh, and the American Humanist Association isn’t hiring.”

After several seconds, Beth began to cry.

“There is a secular hell, and I’m in it!”

Also in the Babbler

Mayor Claar performs his first Illuminati Glowing Orb Ceremony
Lisle’s trees warn incoming trustees of the cost of failure
Aliens arrested for shoplifting at Bolingbrook Macy’s
God to smite Bolingbrook on 5/23/17

Web Exclusive: Flat Earth believers reapply for charter school in Valley View School District 365U (Fiction)

The Flat Out Truth Educational corporation, a company that promotes “reexamination of Flat Earth Theory,” announced that it would reapply for a charter school in the Valley View 365U School District.

An illustration of the alternative “Pond Earth Theory.”

Company president Marc I. Hill stated he was very hopeful that the application would be accepted this time: “In 2014, we were ahead of our time.  Now the world has changed.  Rappers can rap about our Flat Earth and still have a career.  An NBA player can criticize globalist thinking and still have a career.  Flat Earth memes populate the Internet.  More importantly, Betsy DeVos is now the Secretary of Education.  Valley View won’t have a choice but to accept our charter school.  Just look at what she did for Detroit!”

According to Hill, the charter school will teach students from Kindergarten through Fifth Grade.  All textbooks will be published by Flat Out Truth, and all lessons will encourage “skepticism of popular globalist views.”  Science textbooks will present the “theory” of how the Earth is an infinite plain of ice.  Humans live in a “warm oasis surrounded by walls of ice.”  History textbooks will present “theories” about how globe manufacturers persuaded governments to cover up flat earth theory, and news stations prevented people from getting too close to the ice walls.

“Have you ever wondered why there’s a military base at the so-called South Pole?”

Hill says that the school will also promote the religious faith of its students:

Revelations 7.1 says the Earth has four corners.  Qur’an 20:53 says the Earth is spread out like a carpet.  Science says otherwise.  Who should our students trust?  God or Richard Dawkins?”

No school board members would comment for this article, but president Steve Quigley did laugh before hanging up.

A science teacher, who asked not to be identified, said there was no reason to teach Flat Earth Theory in the Valley View curriculum:

“The ancient greeks knew the Earth was a globe.  They could tell because they could see new constellations when they traveled further south.  They also noticed during lunar eclipses that the shadow of the Earth is round.  Eratosthenes accurately determined the circumference of the Earth in 240 BC.  We have photos that show the Earth is a globe.  The horizon itself is a product of the curvature of the Earth.  Anyone can see the curvature of the Earth if they fly in a high-altitude aircraft.  So who are you going to trust?  Scientists and the patriotic pilots in the air force, or neo-Nazi Tila Tequila?”

Hill says he not worried about possible resistance from “globalist union teachers”:

“All I have to do is give a large donation to Bolingbrook’s Mayor Roger Claar, and we’ll be up and running in no time!”

When called for comment, a receptionist said Claar was discussing business with intern Charline Spencer, and could not be disturbed.  She added:  “Roger believes—no, knows– that the Earth is a globe.  He also doesn’t control the board of education.  End of discussion.”

In the background, a man who sounded like Claar said:  “Okay, Charline, tell me your idea for the podcast ad.”

Spencer replied:  “Come to the Taste of Bolingbrook on June 17 and 18 at the Promenade Bolingbrook.  All of the great food you expect with none of the Cook County Democrats!”

“Not bad.”

Web Exclusive: Royce Road truthers slam ‘fake flood’ stories (Fiction)

The editors of “The Real Bolingbrook News” secret subreddit announced in a post that they doubt the news that Royce Road is flooded:

“This is fake news, by fake reporters and fake eyewitnesses!”

They also write: “Instead of acknowledging the victory of Roger Claar and the First Party for Bolingbrook First, the lying press is making up stories about floods to smear them.  The Reddit army must not stand for this!”

During a Skype chat, a man who identified himself as BB1, pointed out several “anomalies” in the flood reports:

“There’s a video of a supposed rescue along Royce Road.  Yet, as a lifelong Bolingbrook Bengal, I don’t remember a section of the road looking like that.  Plus, I’m almost positive I’ve seen the man playing Battalion Chief Dan Graff, in a movie. I’m sure he’s a crisis actor.  Furthermore, look at the car.  I’m sure it could have kept going.  If the flood waters are so dangerous, why is he casually walking and standing around?  This is fake.”

According to official sources, it is dangerous to drive into standing water that is more 5 inches deep, and no one should drive into water that is over nine inches deep.  Six inches of rushing flood waters can knock a person over.

Still, the 10 members of the subreddit insist all the Royce Road flood footage is fake.

Member MissiForever explained in a post: “Roger Clair (sic) created the Bolingbrook Golf Club to prevent local flooding.  Roger always knows what’s best.  That’s why he endorsed Trump. If Royce Road is flooded, that means Roger is wrong and endorsing Trump was wrong.  As long as I bleed blue and purple, I know that Roger is right.  Therefore Royce Road isn’t flooded and Trump is making us great again!”

When presented with eyewitness accounts of Royce Road being flooded, and personal accounts of basements in Bolingbrook flooding, the members said the witnesses were brainwashed.

In their joint statement, they blamed Will County Trustee, and former Bolingbrook mayoral candidate, Jackie Traynere, for staging the recent flood scenes in the news:

“Jackie is using her influence in Will County to stage these obviously fake scenes.  She is trying to get her revenge against Roger by using the liberal media to smear him. We cannot let her get away with this.  Roger is the best mayor Bolingbrook has had in its 60-year history!”

When reached for comment, Traynere said that she supports the brave members of the Bolingbrook Fire Department, and laughed at the Reddit group.

Charlene Z. Spencer, a public relations intern for the Village of Bolingbrook, confirmed what most residents already knew:

“Unfortunately, Bolingbrook does flood.  The land used for the Golf Club is also part of our floodplain control efforts.  We have never said it would prevent all flooding in Bolingbrook.  I will add that Roger believes the Golf Club will consistently turn a profit someday.”

In the background, a man who sounded like Claar said: “You’re lucky my officers arrested you before you drove into the water.  I know you saw the signs before driving around the barriers.  What part of ‘Road Closed’ didn’t you understand?”

Bolingbrook Placebo March draws twenty marchers (Fiction)

Twenty people joined the Bolingbrook Placebo March to protest “materialistic science.”

Sign that reads, "I am Storm."

A Placebo marcher holds up an “I am Storm” sign. The imagery is from the “Storm” online short film.

“Science teaches us that ghosts aren’t real, we inherit traits from our family members, and CO2 is bad,” said Patrick Z. Williams, march organizer.  “Well, if I descended from my cousin, why is my cousin still around?”

Many of the marchers said they supported President Donald Trump’s proposed cuts to scientific and medical research.  While critics of the cuts say they will harm innovation and stifle scientific research, the marchers pointed to Cook County.

Janet X Carlson said: “Ever since the University of Chicago was founded, crime, atheism, political corruption, alcoholism, and loud music have skyrocketed in Cook County. It is no coincidence that the two science marches in Chicagoland took place in Cook County.  Science is crooked!”

Peter, who asked that we not use his last name, added: “Donald Trump is great without science!  Getting rid of science will make America great again — no matter what Bill Nye says!

Though the march was not political, some members wanted the village to grant more business licenses to homeopathic and naturopathic practitioners.  Some also called for Bolingbrook to ban “unsafe” vaccines.

Janet explained: “If the mayor, or whoever is in charge, doesn’t act fast, all of Bolingbrook’s residents will be autistic within ten years!”

Williams, using a dangling crystal as a guide, started the march at the Fountaindale Public Library. He seemed to lead the marchers in random directions.  Several minutes later, Williams lead the march across the street to Village Hall.  The marchers made their way to a car parked in a no parking fire zone.

There Williams stated: “We must be radiating positive energy. The mayor is here!”  After marching around the building and chanting, they arrived outside Mayor Roger Claar’s office patio.  After a few more chants, Claar stepped outside and addressed them.

“You know, just because you have the right to protest doesn’t mean you should.  You guys are giving me a headache!  And don’t even think about running for office.  I had to spend over $200,000 on the last campaign!  That’s money that could have gone towards scholarships, church donations, new cars, and trips to meet constituents around the world!  Now go home before I call my police department!”

At first, the marchers seemed demoralized.  Then Williams addressed them:

“I just played back what he said with my reverse speech app.  He really likes us!”

The marchers then started chanting “Roger” and “Science sucks.”  Five minutes later, a police officer asked them to leave.

“This was a very successful march,” said Williams.  “We didn’t have the numbers that the March for Science did, but we met the mayor, so that means our march was more potent! “  He added: “Honestly, what has science done for Bolingbrook?  Aside from Adventist Hospital, the Internet, and Whalon Lake?  Well, there is material science that allows WeatherTech to make great floor covers, but the CEO supports Trump, so I guess it’s OK.”

Also in the Babbler:

Claar: Government shutdown won’t affect Clow UFO Base
Chicago Scientists breed plant eating cat
Aliens arrested at Chicago March for Science
God to smite Bolingbrook on 4/28/17

We get letters: March 21, 2017 edition (Fiction)

By Doug Fields

The Reader’s Editor

Hello, and let me introduce myself to our new fans at FreethoughtBlogs.  I’m Doug Fields, the Reader’s Editor for the Bolingbrook Babbler.  My job is to read your letters to the Babbler, and offer my editorial feedback.

Since we moved the website to FtB back in January, most of the letters we’ve received have been positive. For example, this one:

To the Editor:

I love the new blog network you guys joined.  I thought it was going to boring atheists.  Instead, you’re on a network with Yemisi Ilesanmi, a real Nigerian!  I’m pretty sure Pervert Justice is a public service site!  Odgraphix must be a decoding site.  I can’t wait to read the anti-squirrel blog!  Not to mention Thoughts of Crys, which must be an atheist psychic blog!  The only boring blog is by PZ Myers.  He must be the least popular blogger here.  He needs to stop obsessing over shellfish and creationists!

Keep up the good work, and keep those other bloggers on their toes with your quality reporting!

Pauline X. Melvin
Bolingbrook, IL

Glad you like our fellow writers, though none of us here would call PZ boring.

Since it is election season, we’ve gotten our share of political posts, like this one:

To the Editor:

Your pro-Bolingbrook United bias is incredible!  Who pays you to write these articles?  George Soros?

Do you know that not all of Jackie Traynere’s s donors are from Bolingbrook?  Some of them are from Cook County!  Some of them are from unions! She’s even held campaign events outside of Bolingbrook.  Plus she’s a Democrat! We all know what kind of Democrats come out of Cook County!  One of their prominent leaders has even spoken at her events!

I want to vote for a candidate who only campaigns in Bolingbrook, only accepts donations from Bolingbrook residents, and has no party affiliation!  That’s why I’m not voting for Jackie!

John M. Smith
Bolingbrook, IL

Well, Mr. Smith, I guess you’re not voting for Mayor Roger Claar either.  He’s also received donations from Cook County, as well as Georgia, Pennsylvania, Iowa, and other states.  Unions have donated to his fund.  He’s also held campaign events in Chicago, California, and other states. Not only is he a member of the Republican Party, he’s also the 11th district Republican State Central Committeeman. Not to mention that he was also a delegate and fundraiser for Donald Trump.

For that matter, are you sure that the PAC that’s been mailing anti-Jackie flyers gets all its funding from Bolingbrook?

We also received several letters that were written in a similar style.  The mystery was solved when someone sent us this unedited form letter:

To the Editor:

There are three truths that every skeptic must accept.  (Choose two: a) Homeopathy doesn’t work. b) Chiropractors are dangerous. c) Mediums are cold readers. d) Evolution is real), and (Choose one: a) Social Justice is oppressive. b) Rejecting evolutionary psychology is rejecting science! c) Cultural Marxists are taking over our culture! d) Ayn Rand is the only true prophet. e) Men are oppressed by women!)

If you do not accept these facts, you (Choose one. a) will be responsible for the next dark age. b) are as evil as PZ Myers. d) will be a slave to Rebecca Watson e) will be destroyed by Donald Trump)

From the ashes of (Atheism+, radical feminism, or sociology), skepticism will arise again and lead us to the stars!

Your name here
Bolingbrook, IL

Finally, we’ll end with this letter.

To the Editor:

Like many feminists, I’m critical of the social construct of gender.  Yet so many of my feminist friends lose their minds when they talk about transpeople.  They become convinced that biology is perfect, and that reproductive organs determine your gender identity.

Enough!  There is no God and nature is not perfect.  Be the gender your brain says you are, not the gender society and activists demand you be.  That is the ultimate freedom!

As for the claim that you can’t tell what a person is thinking, that argument was used against gay people years ago.  How can you tell that the lesbian sitting next to you is not really a heterosexual woman appropriating lesbian culture?  How can you tell if someone is claiming to  be gay because they think it will help them keep their job?

We can’t be 100 percent sure, but we trust gay people to tell the truth.  That should include transpeople as well!

Jill X. Sheridan (Trans-Inclusive Radical Feminist)
Chicago, IL

Also in the Babbler:

CFI’s feline fellows protest visit to the vet
New World Order: Trump under alien control
Sources say: Claar considers building coal plant in Bolingbrook
God to smite Bolingbrook on 3/24/17

Global Disease Consortium endorses Trumpcare (Fiction)

The Global Disease Consortium unanimously endorsed Trumpcare during their annual gathering at the Bolingbrook Golf Club.

Lead Barber Alex explained: “We are on the verge of eliminating the biggest obstacle to our plan to unleash endless global pandemics!  What Obama tried to prevent will soon become a reality!  Thanks, Donald!”

Alex confirmed that Trumpcare is an unstable version of Obamacare.  During his speech, he said that ending the individual and business mandates would result in fewer healthy people buying insurance.  Loss of tax deductions could result in businesses removing employees from their health plans.  Ending the Medicaid expansion in 2020 could result in more than 11 million people losing health care coverage.

“In short,” said Alex, “Fewer people will be able to afford preventative care and checkups.  This means more opportunities for our illnesses to fester and spread!  The sickening of America is at hand!”

Alex also believes that President Trump is about to launch a war against vaccines.  “Our rumors and false flags have created bipartisan support for worthless vaccine schedules and less effective vaccines!  Now that the Donald has the power of the Presidency, it is only a matter of time before he launches an inquisition against vaccine supporters. Our seeds of fear of autism have worked! To think that we almost lost Mumps, Chicken Pox, Polio, and Whooping Cough because of bleeding heart medical researchers!”

Vice Barber Sheila addressed concerns that the collapse of the insurance industry would result in fewer profits for the consortium’s members.  “First, all of our members should be invested in alternative medicine.  Americans alone spend over $33.9 billion right now on it.  That number will only go up once they lose access to their doctors. Second, governments always manage to find money in the middle of epidemics.  That money will make its way to us.  Third, the real payoff, however, will come down the road: Once we reduce the world’s population to 750 million, we’ll all profit!  Automation will take care of manual labor, and the people who used to fill those jobs will be dead.  Ayn Rand would be so proud of us!”

After a unanimous vote, anonymous blogger Orac hacked into the public address system.

“At last I have found the source of all quackademia! All of you should be ashamed for causing so much suffering over the centuries!  While all of you were yapping, I uncovered your real names, and I will expose them on my blog!  You will be embarrassed, if not destroyed! “

“Find him and kill him!”  commanded Alex.

Search parties scoured the club looking for Orac.  One party encountered Dr. David Gorski in the parking lot.

“You’re looking for Orac?”  Gorski pointed.  “He went that way.”

The party ran in that direction, while Gorski drove off in opposite direction.

None of the search parties found Orac.

Also in the Babbler:
ICE denied access to Clow UFO Base
Mayor Claar offers interstellar Groupon to counter declining UFO traffic
CFI Chicago delisted after refusing to cancel Feline Lovers in Secularism 2 conference
God to smite Bolingbrook on 3/15/17