Want to get a sneak peak at Revenge of the Phantom Press? (Book related!)

Want to read an exclusive excerpt from my upcoming novel, Revenge of the Phantom Press? Subscribe to my newsletter, and you’ll get an exclusive PDF and/or eBook featuring the scene when Anti-Psychic Kitty makes her first appearance. In The Rift, Wendy says she radiates the highest known levels of anti-psychic energy. However, she’s not just a psychic worst nightmare. As Tom finds out when he takes a trip to Navy Pier to attend a gathering of the Chicago Anti-superstition Society.

I don’t have a release date, and this excerpt is from a rough draft. But it will give a sample of what I haven in mind for the next Bolingbrook Babbler book. I’ll add that this one leans more towards Urban Fantasy than The Rift. It’s closer to Pathways to Bolingbrook and A Fire in the Shadows, but parts of ROTPP aren’t as dark.

If you download this excerpt, let me know what you think.

BTW: This is not the actual cover. I’ll commission that closer to the release date.

 

Palatine proposes haunted parking lot for early voting site (Fiction)

Update:  Since this article was published, the Village of Palatine announced that the early voting site will be at 150 W. Wilson Street:

Early voting will take place from 10/19/20 to 11/2/20, with hours of 9 AM – 7 PM Monday through Friday and 9 AM – 5 PM on weekends.

Our sources also tell us that the ghosts residing in the building agreed not to scare or spy on voters.

Original article:

According to sources, the Village of Palatine will use a haunted parking lot for their early voting location.

Located on the corner of N. Smith Street and W. Colfax Street, the parking lot is allegedly home to at least one ghost.  According to the Palatine Patch, sometime during World War II, a factory worker was killed by a car near this intersection.  Some residents, like Phil, claim that the intersection is haunted by that worker:

“Every evening, I see a man with a lunch box crossing the street.  I know it’s that ghost.  Sometimes he changes his face and disguises the lunch bucket as a briefcase or cell phone, but he can’t fool me!”

Despite the presence of the infamous ghost, the village will offer the adjacent parking lot to the Cook County Clerk as an early voting location.  The village will offer an open tent, but the county will be expected to staff the site and devise a way to ensure each voter’s privacy.

According to a member of the Village Manager’s staff, the parking lot is the only acceptable location left in Palatine: “The room we used to use in Village Hall is too cramped.  Using the Police Department is apparently too intimidating for some residents.  So we’re using a parking lot and that’s it.  If you’re afraid of ghosts, that’s too bad!  What’s there to be afraid of?  They’re dead, and you can walk through them.”

Joyce, a long time Palatine resident, believes that ghosts are a threat to some residents:  “If you have a heart condition, being startled by a ghost can kill you.  Ghosts also remind people of their own mortality.  Knowing that a polling place is haunted might discourage some voters, and that would be bad.  We need a safe and secure early voting site in Palatine.  I don’t want to spend election day stuck in a long line to enter a crowded room, only to have my ballot tossed because some inexperienced election judge forgot to initial my ballot.”

Stephanie, another long time resident of Palatine, isn’t concerned about voting in a haunted parking lot:  “I’m pretty sure that the Cook County Clerk’s office has ways of dealing with ghosts.  After all, it’s likely that every building in Chicago is haunted.”

A receptionist for Village Hall said that Village Manager Reid Ottesen was busy and could not be disturbed.  

In the background, a person who sounded like Ottesen, said: “What are you reading?”

A man who sounded like Mayor Jim Schwantz said: “My producers sent these pre-written obituaries for every member of the Chicago Bears.  All my years in the NFL taught me that you can never be too prepared!”

Also in the Babbler:

Wererats to perform at Bolingbrook’s Wednesday Concert Series
Hidden Lakes Monster rescues toddler from drowning
Full Contact Gospel Church to hold ‘Sparing for Jesus’ demonstration
God to smite Bolingbrook on 8/26/20

Note:  This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer.  Feel free to leave a comment here or in the Bolingbrook Babbler Readers Group. 

Manchester Mumbler: Ghosts continue to riot following Brian Cox’s statement (Fiction)

Brian Cox.

Photo of Brian Cox by Paul Clarke.

Note: The Bolingbrook Babbler sometimes shares stories from its many sister publications around the world.  The following article is from the Manchester Mumbler, located in Manchester, UK.  This article was translated into American English.

Great Britain’s ghosts continued their mass protests and riots days after physicist Brian Cox said the Large Hadron Collider “proved” they don’t exist.

“We’ve never experienced anything like this,” said psychic Paulette Z. Simpson.  “The ghosts are so insulted and so frustrated that all they can do is trash the British netherworld.  Brian has turned the restless dead into the violent dead!”

Cox, on his show the Infinite Monkey Cage, stated that the measurements and discoveries made using the Large Hadron Collider left no room for the existence of ghosts or for an afterlife.

I would say that if there’s some kind of substance that’s driving our bodies, making arms move and legs move, then it must interact with the particles out of which our bodies are made. Since we’ve made high precision measurements of the ways that particles interact, my assertion is there can be no such thing as an energy source that’s driving our bodies.

The violent reaction from ghosts was so great that its effects could be felt in our world.

“I set my cup down on the table and it just fell over,” said Linda, who asked that we not use her last name.  “Some would say I was careless, but I’m not.  Fighting ghosts knocked it over.”

Paul offered more evidence: “My cat kept looking at the wall.  That’s not a big deal, but she kept turning her head!  I think she was watching ghost picketers!  I have all the proof I need!”

Peter Chauncey, the president of the British Association of Expert Mediums, denounced Cox’s statement as “reckless.”

“I have two words for Mr. Cox! Dark. Energy. Ghosts are dark energy.  Every time a being with a soul dies, it becomes dark energy and contributes to the expansion of the universe. It’s so obvious!  How could he miss this obvious conclusion?”

Chauncey urges all British residents to avoid all haunted places until the ghosts settle down.

“Only trained professionals should deal with ghosts at this point.  Fortunately, I can provide that training for a reasonable rate.”

Also in the Manchester Mumbler:

Page Three Sheep returns! Again!
Virgin Group offers to take over the government
Prime Minister May begs aliens for favorable trade agreement
Richard Dawkins to smite God on 2/3/17