Aliens arrested after bombing Palatine (Fiction)

By Reporter X

Palatine police arrested an alien crew accused of dropping an EMP bomb into Twin Lakes. They were arrested after landing at Rob Sherman UFO Base, and, according to eyewitnesses, without resisting.

In a press conference with the interstellar news media, Palatine Police Officer Jack X. Mueller said, “Even though the water contained the EMP blast, we could ignore this incident. Dropping bombs on civilian targets is wrong. Unless you’re doing it on behalf of President Trump, which they weren’t.”

Mary, who did not provide her last name, witnessed the bombing. “I was just enjoying the unseasonably warm weather when I saw a flying saucer drop from the sky. It dropped a sphere into one of the lakes. There was a flash of light from the lake.  I expected hundreds of dead fish to float to the surface, but that didn’t happen. Instead, a voice came from the UFO’s speakers. It said if humans on this landmass didn’t stop killing protesters, they would keep bombing. They would stop when the killings stopped, or if they killed every human. Whichever came first. It finished by saying ‘Free Palatine,’ then it flew off. I always thought the protests at the clock tower were peaceful.”

The crew’s lawyer, Kathy Z. Delso, insisted her clients’ actions were justified. “My clients were only reacting to the murder of Renee Nichole Good. They heard President Trump threaten to bomb Iran if they killed protesters. So they assumed it was okay to drop bombs after a protester’s death. If the President bombs Iran, I’ll demand that the charges against my clients be dismissed!”

Palatine Village Manager Reid Ottesen said the Village will double Interceptor flights over Palatine in response to the bombing. “We understand why beings across the galaxy are upset with humanity right now. But bombing Palatine is not the answer.”

Palatine Mayor Jim Schwantz entered the office and asked what was going on. Ottesen replied, “I was just telling this reporter how you like to defuse controversy by writing proclamations then filing them away.”

“And it works,” Schwantz responded. “The progressives are happy that I recognized Gay Pride Month, and the conservatives are happy I didn’t mention it during a board meeting. That’s why I’m a Fremd graduate.”

Also in the Babbler:

Record number of transgender people file for interstellar asylum at Clow UFO Base
Packers fans blame God for Bears’ miracle win
DuPage Township and Village of Bolingbrook sign non-aggression pact
God to smite Bolingbrook on 1/15/26

Note: This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer. 

My upcoming Urban Fantasy novel, Revenge of the Phantom Press, is available for preorder. The release date is 1/31/26. If you like The Dresden Files and Welcome to Night Vale, you’ll like Revenge. It’s part of the Bolingbrook Babbler Stories books, which are available through most retailers. 

“It doesn’t have to be…”

“But, be careful out there. It’s a dark world out there.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” Lydia replied.

“But it is.”

— From my work in progress, A Fire to Heal

Bébé Mélange has a fun post about a mechanic from the old Vampire: The Masquerade game and assigns ratings to the members of FtB. As a former contributor to White Wolf Studios and former LARP player, I got a laugh out of it.

The post also reminded me of one of the reasons I created the vampire character Lydia (currently featured in A Fire in the Shadows). In V:TM, characters are fighting a losing battle to hold on to their humanity before giving into the “ beast.” Once unthinkable acts, like drinking someone’s blood or even murder, are rationalized because they’re trying to hold back the vicious , mindless beast within that’s fighting for control. The Riddle, as these vampires call it, is, “Monsters we are, lest monsters we become.” It’s an understandable theme for the World of Darkness setting.

But what if the descent wasn’t inevitable? What if it was a rationalization of the growing immoral behavior? If there were vampires that regained their humanity, how would the traditionalist vampires react? 

In my setting, the metaphor for this descent is fire. Becoming a vampire is like setting your soul on fire. The flames release a vampire’s power, but the flames also consume their humanity. A vampire regaining their humanity is like a fire with blood flowing through it. It’s not possible. 

Lydia is one of the vampires with blood in their fire. She’s regained her ability to feel love and has empathy for others. Even to the point of risking her existence to save someone. The traditionalists consider her an abomination, like a fire with blood. And traditionalists don’t let abominations exist.

As a result, Lydia doesn’t fit in.  Despite her inner humanity, she’s still a vampire. She exists on the fringes of vampiric society, but even her blood family doesn’t understand what she’s going through.

A Fire in the Shadows introduces vampires into the world of the Bolingbrook Babbler books. There will be two more books with Lydia which provide more details into vampiric society and how Lydia deals with her outsider status.

Getting back to V:TM, when I was a member of White Wolf’s official LARP, I tried playing a character who was part of the inhumane faction of vampires called the Sabbat. Sometimes the storytelling staff would remind us that we’re roleplaying the World of Darkness, not the World of Insufficient Light. Today, I’m happy to say that the Babbler books are set in the World of Insufficient Light. Because there’s still hope in this world, and even monsters can rediscover their humanity.

I don’t recall a declaration of war…(Non-fiction)

Nothing like waking up to discover that the US staged a coup in Venezuela, and it didn’t even install María Corina Machado as the new President. Instead, The US will be running the country for now, and the oil companies will take control of Venezuela’s oil.

This was done without a declaration of war, let alone a vote authorizing the use of force. It’s illegal, but I doubt that any impeachment resolution will make it to the floor of the House, assuming one is ever drafted. If Trump can get away from this, who knows what else he’ll try both here and abroad.

What happened today was one corrupt leader seizing resources from another corrupt leader. A select few will profit from this. Most Venezuelans may get a few crumbs, at the cost of their independence. This is not a victory for them.

Nicolás Maduro and Trump are both corrupt men. The only difference between them is that Trump has a better military than Maduro’s. Let’s not pretend otherwise.

Update: 13:57 Central. Vice President Delcy Rodríguez addressed the country and said Venezuela would be, “nobody’s slave and nobody’s colony.”  She hasn’t surrendered.

Revenge of the Phantom Press: Chapter 1 Preview

Revenge of the Phantom Press book cover

Revenge of the Phantom Press

My new novel, Revenge of the Phantom Press, releases on 1/31/26, and you can preview the first chapter now. It’s the direct sequel to The Rift, and Tom Larsen, the skeptic blogger turned paranormal investigative reporter, is the main character.

Over a year later, Tom is still dealing with fallout from the events in The Rift. But when ghosts attack the village board and the Babbler’s newsroom, Tom’s life is thrown into chaos. He’s ordered to evacuate Bolingbrook by the publisher and editor. Instead, he defies his orders and secretly investigates ghosts, who used to publish the rival tabloid, The Phantom Press. He’s joined by Juanita, his former mentor, and Anti-Psychic Kitty, the world’s most powerful generator of anti-psychic energy.

But ghosts aren’t Tom’s only problems. His parents want him to check into an inpatient psychiatric program. The head of the Department of Paranormal Affairs doesn’t like him. Occultists addicted to ghost possession try to hunt them down. Juanita may be hiding something from him. And the attacks may be part of a far reaching conspiracy with destructive consequences.

Wishing Shelf calls Revenge of the Phantom Press, “A smartly plotted paranormal mystery fans of the genre will enjoy.” Readers’ Favorite says, “Revenge of the Phantom Press is lots of fun, with each page offering something humorous, mysterious, or endearing.”

If you’re interested, download Chapter One and subscribe to my newsletter. I’ll also be posting updates throughout this month until the January 31 launch.

Touch a flame. Feel the Fire.