Conservative Christian Roommates

I don’t know why, but today I was thinking about some roommates my husband and I had early in our marriage. Spoiler alert: It didn’t work out well.

I really don’t know why my husband and I thought this was a good idea, but several years ago we rented a house with another married couple. My husband and the other man were coworkers. They were only in their early twenties — about ten years younger than us.

All of us were hurting financially and living in the suburbs. The plan was to rent a house in Toledo where the cost of living was considerably lower and split all the bills. The idea looked good on paper.

Problems started not long after moving in together. Besides being arrogant Christians, they were disgusting. I can handle a cluttered house, but they were leaving trash and dirty dishes everywhere. What was even more disturbing was their poor personal hygiene. I wasn’t expecting any of that.

Back to the Christian part. They were that kind of people that talk about the “sanctity of marriage” and how it’s a holy institution. They weren’t shy in sharing that they were virgins when they got married.

My husband and I lived together before getting married in Las Vegas. We’re not Christian (obviously) and our marriage was just a fun celebration of our love. It is a great memory that we share, but it wasn’t a necessity for our relationship.

Our roommates were just so staunch and arrogant in their beliefs that we were surprised to find out that they got married so that they could get more financial aid money. They were both in college at the time. They had planned a big wedding but got married at the courthouse just in time to be considered independent students on their FAFSA for the school year.

What happened to that holy institution and getting married in your family’s church? Apparently that all goes down the drain when you wave money in front of them. This wouldn’t have bothered me if they hadn’t spent so much time talking about how special and holy marriage is.

The arrogance and hypocrisy were relentless. There were lots of comments made that bothered us, but the marriage thing was definitely the most annoying.

Kinda weird — when they prayed before meals it really bothered me. They spoke so highly and were so proud of their beliefs, but when they prayed before meals, they held hands and quickly and quietly recited a short prayer in a monotone voice. I honestly couldn’t make out everything they were saying, but it seemed like the same thing every time. It was obviously just a meaningless routine for them. I guess I was expecting more from them since their Christian beliefs were so important to them.

Needless to say, they moved out and we all moved on. I learned later that they got a divorce soon after. No surprise there.

I sometimes think about them and wonder what they’re doing now. Are they different? They’ve been through a lot and they were so young back then. I’m just curious if their beliefs have changed.

Have you ever met people that are so ridiculous that you can’t believe it’s real? That’s how I felt.

I still wish them well. I remember what I was like in my early twenties and I wouldn’t have wanted to live with me. Chances are they’ve grown up.

So, I told my boss that I’m an atheist.

For those of you who don’t know, I am working on a poetry book that is going to be published by Freethought House. It’s about 80 poems and it covers just about everything about my life as an atheist mom in the Midwest USA. It’s called, The Heathen Mommy from Holy Toledo. 

I was so excited about getting the book published that I shared the news with a couple of coworkers who also shared the news. I didn’t tell them what the book was about I didn’t quite consider the consequences either. The organization I work for, while it’s not faith-based, it is still pretty conservative. I don’t even want to know what their reactions are going to be if the actually get a hold of the book and read it. 

So I felt I had to tell someone. My boss is pretty amazing. She’s outgoing and accepting. She’s definitely a shining star at work. I approached her yesterday when we were alone and told her a little more about the book and my fears. She was extremely supportive. I told her I’m not always open about being an atheist because I fear discrimination and she reassured me that my poetry book will not affect my job. She said she will make sure that no one says or does anything to me.

When I think about it, it’s probably unlikely that anyone at work will read my book even though they show interest when they learn the news. A few people have said they want a copy and I’m kind of hoping they forget. They are not my target audience! However, I still felt the need to tell my boss. 

Having my boss in my corner was completely unexpected but I huge relief. I can’t let my guard down a little bit and I’m even more excited about getting the book published. 

Poetry Book Update — The End is in Sight!

I absolutely love working on my poetry book, but I feel I am going to reach a point soon where I just don’t know what else to do with it. I’m making some final revisions and tweaking the order of the poems, and I think I’m nearing the end. I’m getting really excited about it. I emailed my publisher this past week and asked to move up the deadline for my final manuscript from December 1st to August 1st. He seemed happy that I was making progress. I hope I made the right move.

One last push to move this book forward…

Kids Being Brought Up in Abortion Debates

I am very much pro-choice but I hate it when I get into debates and anti-abortion people bring up my daughter. It’s really not a fair comparison. Also, my daughter is now a real live person and not a clump of cells.

My daughter was planned and really wanted. I was in a good, stable place with lots of support, and I was prepared to take care of her. I was extremely fortunate. Had I been in a different situation, I might have felt grateful to have abortion as an available option.

Babies bring joy but also hardship so I can understand not wanting or being prepared for that. I know people have abortions for a variety of different reasons, but ultimately if a person wants an abortion, the reason shouldn’t matter.

Have any other pro-choice parents had their kids brought up in debates? How do you respond?

Advantages of Being an Atheist

Let’s keep the list going!


  • Having the grocery store to yourself on Sunday mornings
    Sleeping in on Sunday mornings
  • I get to keep that 10 percent of my income that would normally go to the church – or give it away. It’s my choice.

  • I’m not obligated to do weird rituals or celebrate meaningless holidays.

  • Sex before marriage. I never understood why you would marry someone that you haven’t had sex with – too many unknowns.

  • Sex just for fun and not procreation.

  • No church-enforced rules that I don’t agree with. It seems I have Christian friends that are okay with marriage equality but still go to churches that preach against it. I don’t get it.


What would you add to the list?

How “out” are you?

I have to admit, as an atheist, I spend a lot of time in the closet. I feel like I’m surrounded by conservative Christians, especially at work. I mean, they don’t call it “Holy Toledo” for nothing. I don’t know any Christians who are afraid to announce their beliefs publicly, especially since almost everybody in the room feels the same way they do. I sometimes envy that freedom. If someone were to point-blank ask me if I’m a Christian I would say “no”, but oftentimes people assume that I am and I painfully go along with it. Revealing that I’m an atheist — or anything other than Christian for that matter — could start a confrontation or at the very least some uncomfortable awkwardness. Most days it doesn’t seem worth it. Also, I like my job and don’t want to lose it. 

It’s difficult. I know there are a lot of places that don’t have to deal with this issue. It’s not that I want to “preach” atheism, I just don’t want to feel like I have to hide something that’s important to me. Maybe with time things will improve. I’ve recently kicked it up a notch with an American Atheists car decal. No one has said anything so far and honestly, I hope no one ever does.


Is anyone else sick of hiding?

Writing About My Childhood Part 2

Last week I posted that I was having trouble writing about both the good and bad of my childhood. I think I came up with a solution. While dealing with small-town mentalities and judgmental people was always difficult, I can’t deny how beautiful it is where I grew up. That’s what I decided to express.


Beautiful Country


I miss the nights
when lightning bugs speckled the endless horizon
and my eyes bathed in the indigo sky.

My favorite color has always been
newly sprouted winter wheat —
an affirmation of new beginnings.

I loved waking up after a snowstorm
blinding white
and alone in the silence of the barren landscape.

From the delicate irises of spring
to the golden blazes of September
every bug in Henry County fluttered its way into our little house.

Nights of thunder and wind
made my heart pound to pieces
and spark a fascination with the dangers of the heartland.

Growing up in the country
was a crimson struggle of whits and tears
but I will always cherish the beauty of my childhood home.

Writing About My Childhood: Bad vs. Good

I am writing my butt off and making some serious progress on my poetry book. I am really excited to see what comes of this.

The first section of my poetry book is about my childhood and I’m finding it really challenging balancing the bad with the good. 

I grew up in a conservative rural area — heavily Christian and sort of stuck in time. My family stuck out like a sore thumb. I was raised by a single dad who was not conservative at all. I had big dreams and my dad was always supportive. It was everyone else I had to worry about. Knowing that I was leaving when I graduated high school is what got me through some rough times. 

Many of my poems have the usual small-town complaints. I know many people will relate to that. However, the countryside was always beautiful and I had some really nice experiences there with my family. Our little house was in the middle of nowhere with an endless horizon. I loved watching storms approach from miles away. I loved watching the fields speckled with lightning bugs. I just don’t have that where I am now.

I cherish these memories but I know I was never meant to live in that area and I’m sure as hell not raising my family there. At the same time, it wasn’t all bad and I’m having trouble expressing that without sounding confusing. Thankfully I don’t turn in my final manuscript until December so I definitely have a little time to figure this out.

Covid-19 Update: How are you?

How are you holding up?

I found out last week that the office where I work will start reopening June 15th. By that time I will have been home for three months. 

I miss getting out of the house for something other than groceries, but I’m really in no hurry. Two weeks ago some retail stores opened in Ohio and this past week restaurants opened. Also, yesterday the daily death count in our state from COVID-19 more than doubled that of the day before, so obviously nothing is safe yet. 

I miss my family. Today my dad and his girlfriend visited. They sat out in our front yard and we sat on the porch. It was so nice talking to them, but it’s just not the same as having dinner at dad’s house. 

However, this really hasn’t been as bad as I thought it would be. Honestly, I don’t really leave the house much to begin with other than going to work. I’m a pretty serious introvert. My daughter has been home from daycare as long as I’ve been home from work. I’ve been spending all my time hanging out with her and writing. I got an incredible amount of work done on my poetry book. Actually, I’ve kind of enjoyed my time home. Don’t kill me for admitting that.

It’s become very clear as Ohio has opened back up that money is more important than people’s lives, and I hate that about America.

How are you guys doing? What’s it like where you live?

What about aliens?

So in my last post, I talked about my husband and I watching BuzzFeed Unsolved: Supernatural on Prime video, and I asked what you guys thought about ghosts. However, this show also features UFOs and aliens.

How do you feel about aliens? How about UFOs?

I feel aliens are way more probable than ghosts, and I think with time, we will have more answers. 

As far as UFOs go, I think there’s a fair amount of evidence. However, I think UFOs could be a bunch of different things and not necessarily be associated with aliens.

I hope you don’t think I’m crazy, but I definitely think UFOs and aliens make more sense than any of the other supernatural topics investigated on the show.

What do you think?