what is wrong with me (/kurt)…   content warning for school shooting related shit, but this is all horror stuff, so you should expect badness.

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SPOOKTOBER DAY 25 – PSYCHIC
OPTIONAL CHALLENGE:  CURSES

TITLE:  THE WIGHT

Premise:  A group of young teens were tripping on acid by a barrow mound in the late ’60s, when the groups “shaman” was struck by ball lightning.  The light remained in his head like a halo for long enough that he was able to descend to his circle of friends and deliver an otherworldly sermon that imbued them all with psychic powers.

They played together, developed the powers more, agreed to keep it secret from the world and always protect each other.  But the shaman seemed somehow diminished in the wake of the experience, less passionate, more distant.  Eventually he astral projected to death.

Horror Element:  He had imparted psychic powers to them by parceling up his soul, and his angry ghost wants the soul parts back.  Each person is haunted by visions and creepy phenomena until they are finally killed in a horrible way.

They connect the dots and the survivors team up to try to keep surviving.  It’s psychic warfare. If they can collectively take him down, they can parcel up his power and be done with him.  Or can they?  When they think they’ve achieved this, the absorbed soul fragments attack them from within.

Only the most selfless survive in the end by expelling every bit of the power and running away by hopping a train.  But will the phantom catch up to them someday?  Run forever.

Some Nonsense:  Balpala, a great and strong duke, appears in the likeness of a lion.  He has the wings of a griffon.  He is subtle and marvelous in mathematics, in the observation of physics, and in chiromancy, and in all the arts found in the books of the mathematicians.  He has beneath him thirty legions.

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SPOOKTOBER DAY 26 – BACKWOODS
OPTIONAL CHALLENGE:  FRUIT & VEG

TITLE:  EL PANEL DERECHO

Premise:  One common reason for people to feel the necessity of Heaven & Hell is that life is so unjust.  There simply must be justice; the universe itself demands it.  Why do our minds do this to us?

They were right.  Heaven accepts the good and Hell the evil.  But the souls must be shoved in the right hole.  There’s a hellmouth in this Spanish speaking banana republic, who knows where?

It’s rural.  It’s in the forest.  Little farms yield amazing crops of fruit, from soil drenched in the spiritual effluvium of countless sinners.  Don’t wake up at night; don’t watch it happen.  You might get his attention.

Horror Element:  In the middle of this rustic pueblito, the night becomes a boschesque tableau of freaks.  Naked bodies that are unseen as ghosts in the daytime take on a pale reality in the moonlight, prodded with forks and hooks wielded by a motley assortment of goblins.

Presiding over a throne across the village’s well, a grand devil with the head of a nightjar swallows the sinners and shits them into Hell.

Some Nonsense:  Gorsor, or Gorson, is a strong duke, appearing in the likeness of a human, but with a head like a night raven.  He makes people marvelous in botanical arts.  He gathers people in the presence of the exorcist, who is to provide a punishment.  From foreign and faraway places, all murderers are brought to be tormented.  He was the worst of the order of Virtues, and has under him twelve legions.

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SPOOKTOBER DAY 27 – CRYPTID
OPTIONAL CHALLENGE:  HOTEL

TITLE:  DEVIL LEGS

Premise:  Rural Maryland, the goatman supposedly mutilating dogs, you know the drill.  A guy returns to his hometown with his husband and they have to stay at a shitty hotel run by the creepiest dude from his old high school, all grown up.  Spooky guy loves the goatman and talks about it a lot.  The hotel has one other employee who is a quiet and disabled old janitor.  Spooky guy is nice to janitor’s face but tends to be gross or rude about him behind his back.

Horror Element:  A monster is loose, and occasionally the man & his husband have close encounters.  Clearly the goatman, it sometimes leaves hoopfrints running up walls or across ceilings.

Turns out the old janitor gains supernaturally buff devil legs, and kills while thus possessed.  Further, it turns out to be high school creep casting a spell on him.

Some Nonsense:  Ponicarpo, a strong duke, appears in the likeness of a fighting man, bearing weapons.  Let there be made, therefore, an image of him with sharp weapons.  And let this be consecrated in the aforementioned way, and through it you will be able to bind infantry.  He gives the love of women and true replies to questioning.  He has under him 30 legions.

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SPOOKTOBER DAY 28 – VIRAL
OPTIONAL CHALLENGE:  LIFETIME/MOM MOVIE

TITLE:  MOMMY’S PERFECT ANGEL

Premise:  Shyla’s little boy Michael was born sickly, a condition that denied all attempts at diagnosis.  For years mom was suspected of Munchaeusen by Proxy, but at last was vindicated when he became too sick to care for, and ended up beyond the reach of household poisoning at the hospital.

Then the contagion began, and a medical genius from the WHO called in to investigate.  Michael has a form of cancer which affects him slowly, but which had become airborne.  From the lungs it enters the bloodstream very quickly, taking root almost anywhere in the body – making it express in a million disturbing unique ways in its victims.

Horror Element:  He never did anything wrong!  Mommy must save baby, and damn the world.  Plague of cancer, everybody dies, the end.

Some Nonsense:  Lanima, or Pneumam, a great count, appears in an angelic countenance, speaking with pleasant speech, and understands the powers of herbs, and has under him 20 legions.

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SPOOKTOBER DAY 29 – FAMILY
OPTIONAL CHALLENGE:  DANCE

TITLE:  THE DEADLY DANCE

Premise:  Two unconventional families are feuding.  The breakdown of the economy over generations leads to aging elders having all the money, and a motley assortment of younger people living in their orbits.  Both families are alike in toxic masculinity, but one is worse, including an adult uncle leading a teen into inceldom.  As the focus of his twisted desire is a daughter of the other family, puffed chests and reprisals make things worse.

Horror Element:  Girl’s uncle means well when he threatens incel boy, but incel uncle threatens him, and so on, and so on.  This comes to a head at the prom, where the incels take hostages, and the tension leads to all too real human horror.

Some Nonsense:  Saylmon, or Zamon, a strong duke and president and count, appears in the likeness of a man riding on a pale horse, with the head of a lion, bearing an eagle in his hand.  He speaks in a harsh voice. He makes peace among many and makes men without women quarrel.  And under him are thirty legions.

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SPOOKTOBER DAY 30 – SPOOPY/PUMPKINCORE
OPTIONAL CHALLENGE:  INTERACTIVE/CHOOSE-YOUR-OWN-ADVENTURE

TITLE:  GOURDON

Premise:  Babygirl doesn’t want her jack o’lantern Mr. Gourdon Pumpks to die.  The mold must never come.  She wishes upon a star, but feeling that isn’t enough, checks in with the aunt who did her star chart.  Surely that lady knows more about stars than “look at ’em twinkle and wanna”…

Horror Element:  If you choose the most boring options, the horror is watching Gourdon go moldy and slump, learning a lesson about growing up along the way.  Babygirl must accept that not all can be preserved, that one must let things pass in their time.

If you choose more interesting options, astrologer aunt invokes the powers of the stars to magnify those wishes, and Mr. Pumpks comes to life.  His vines are a horde of serpents that form the shape of a body, the candle inside him transforms into hellfire that he can breathe on the unfortunate.

Take that, shelf life!

Some Nonsense:  Simias, or Gumas, a great Marquis, appears in the likeness of a lion.  He rides upon a very strong bear, its tail a serpent, and a flame comes from his mouth.  In his right hand he carries two great hissing serpents.  He knows the strengths of herbs and constellations, the places of the planets, and is the best teacher of their houses.  He makes men transform into other shapes.  He grants dignities and prelacies, and the grace of all friends and enemies.  He has in his dominion thirty legions.

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SPOOKTOBER DAY 31 – GHOSTS
OPTIONAL CHALLENGE:  BOOKS

TITLE:  BEAR MARKET

Premise:  In the hamlet there is but one businessman, respected for his magnanimity by all but a few radicals.  Yet why does he never take a wife, to produce an heir?  Or at least take an apprentice?  At last he emerges from the depths of his studies to pass on his craft to a worthy acolyte.

Young Sixtus is the lucky boy.  He discovers that the old man has been honing his art for decades, focused too fully upon the task to cultivate a legacy.  He fears he will die without realizing his dream, but if a man with the powers of youth could take up his banner, what could be possible?

If the hamlet prospers, Sixtus and his master make money.  If the hamlet despairs, they make even more money.  If the hamlet has brief bursts of amazing fortune, it outweighs the memory of great stretches of desolation, and they keep supporting the merchants, always dreaming of a return to those unsustainable feasts.

Boom turns to bust, and the people come to Sixtus with hat in hand, asking when things will be good again.  He says wait but a little longer.  As they go home they fade from existence.  One by one, the people of the hamlet turn to ghosts.

Horror Element:  Maybe the ghosts are feeding the master their lives, maybe they just represent those forgotten by the great machinery of commerce.  When nobody remains to give you money, Sixtus, what happens then?  Ghost attack, probably.

Some Nonsense:  Foreas, or Fortas or Sartas, a great president, appears in the likeness of a very strong bear.  In human form, he knows the strengths of herbs and precious stones, and teaches fully the practice of logic and its aspects.  He makes people invisible, ingenious, eloquent, or passionate, and has twenty-nine legions.

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still at it…
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SPOOKTOBER DAY 18 – WATER/NAUTICAL
OPTIONAL CHALLENGE:  STRANDED/DESERT ISLAND

TITLE:  THE QUESTION OF SUBSTANCE

Premise:  Philosophers, clerics, and mystics have long sought to understand the basis of the world, whether that be the literal support upon which it rests – elephants and turtles – or what primal matter everything is ultimately comprised of.  The scientific discovery of quantum superposition reveals that the deeper one goes the more uncertain everything becomes.  The quest for substance came to find that everything that once seemed solid and certain rests on a nigh-infinite realm of abject chaos – and via entropy, that those solid things will to chaos be returned.  Dissolution.

Why are we even looking in the first place?  As soon as a primate figures out that it can figure things out -resolve its curiosities- that sets it on a path to greater curiosities, greater mysteries, and any answers to those mysteries can in turn become questions.  It makes sense that there would be a last answer at the end of it all.  The questions that brought you to that threshold all had answers, didn’t they?  But perhaps it’s an erroneous assumption.  Or maybe the final answer will just be inherently disappointing.  You found it, now what?

Charlie Benaud turned his back on physics after facing too much racism in the program, even in a supposedly liberal place, the San Francisco bay area.  He fell in with a bad crowd of hope-to-die rich kids shooting smack in expensive places.

One day on a little private island his buddy Boudica inherited from an amazon cashout fucklord, everybody was was getting hella faded, sinking into the sand.  The water came in, and the ambiguity of this experience combined with the chemicals in his head to trigger a philosophical awakening.

Charlie gained the power to choose how he interacted with particles and waves in the world around him.  But he also had to make a conscious decision about all of those interactions, whether he wanted to or not.  Fortunately he didn’t have to devote thought to millions of photons per minute; he could feel it out in masses.  Even so, he was overwhelmed by the experience, and took all his friends along for one final, terrible trip.

Horror Element:  Have you ever tried, as a layperson, to understand physics?  Fuck that shit.  Have some poorly translated demonology instead…

Some Nonsense:  Now of the kings we deal with Paymon, and what is known of this great Paymon.  He better served the will of Lucifer than his other kings, and is not counted among that vast legion which broke his surging desire for equality with God – the pride for which he was cast into exile.  This Paymon is compelled by divine virtue and appears in many forms.  However when he comes in the presence of the exorcist, he rides on a dromedary, crowned with a very bright crown, with the countenance of a dark person.

And he proceeds before the exorcist with trumpets and cymbals and with all types of attendants, coming with enormous clamor and roaring.  Otherwise he is very serene, just as Exeuponticha excellently described in The Art of Solomon.  Furthermore this Paymon’s language is not easily understood by the exorcist.  But if they are as fearless as they are distinct and clear in all the questions they ask, Paymon regales them truly of all the philosophies yet classified, and of all that is arcane and occult, and with knowledge of how the people of the world are comprised, and how the earth is composed and what holds it, what exactly water is, and what is an abyss, and the place the water runs out, and what is the wind from whence it comes, and other things still.  He speaks of how things are.

He consecrates books to such an extent, and any other things.  He gives great dignities, and all who resist are made humble and desirous of satisfying the exorcist.  And above that he gives the best familiars and knowledge of all that is remote.

Note that if the exorcist commands Paymon into their presence, they should take care to face toward nothing but the north wind, for that is his dwelling.  At the coming of his presence, truly show no fear with and make all courtesy, and when he is questioned and beseeched for wishes, without a doubt they will be obtained.  Therefore the exorcist should not fear his creator, the one who promised to bestow forgiveness.

There are some who say Paymon was from the order of Dominations, but he is of the order of Cherubim, and has forty legions – part from the order of Virtues and part from the order of Potestates.  Paymon comes alone when summoned by use of some frankincense or sacrifices.  But when called together, he will always come with two great kings – namely Belial and Basaam – and other kings great and powerful.  Twenty-five legions also follow in his path, although not all of those will come unless compelled by divine virtue.

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SPOOKTOBER DAY 19 – CLONES/DOPPELGANGERS
OPTIONAL CHALLENGE:  WEDDING

TITLE:  THE BRIDE OF RESIAH

Premise:  Ressae had bore only one child before her husband died defending himself against highwaymen from the Hexwood, so she had high hopes for the boy.  The holy priests always said don’t consort with oracles, that scrying could only lead one to doom, but she couldn’t resist.  She asked a witch about his future.  He was fated to die by his own hand.

Everyone knows that the future can be changed, but how could that ever be prevented?  A person has so many ways they can kill themselves, nobody can protect you from yourself forever.  Also, it was too sad, knowing he loved himself so poorly.

She met a blackfriar at the crossroads and made a deal to change his fate.  The hell priest drew out the boy’s self loathing, creating duplicate of him, and for his price, he merely took the evil clone for his own purposes.

But when Ressae sought his fortune again, it had changed.  Now he was going to die by his wife’s hand.  That’s easy enough.  Let him know that and he’ll never get married, right?  She resolves to let him know this, but falls ill from an infected wound where she gave blood for the ritual.

Little Resiah is adopted by the holy priests of her village.  They aren’t allowed to wed, and as he is surely going to join the priesthood…  He doesn’t join the priesthood, becoming a scribe for a merchant.  Resiah grows up to be pathetic nerd of the kind no woman would marry, so he’s still good, right?

Horror Element:  Dark Resiah was raised to be a blackfriar in the service of Father Woe, endowed with the powers of hell.  But he didn’t have the knack, being a sickly nerd of no use to anyone.  His patron kicks him to the curb, and he steals into the city as a ragged beggar.  He sees himself in the merchant’s clerk and wants revenge for being made to exist.

No woman would have that dork, and so he hatches a scheme to become a woman and steal into his graces, to murder him at the height of his happiness.  He goes back into the Hexwood and makes a deal with his patron.  The cost?  Good boy Resiah must be sacrificed in the name of Father Woe.

Some Nonsense:  Andras, or Vandras – a great marquis – appears in angelic form, with a head similar to a great night raven.  He rides on a strong and powerful wolf, carrying a large and sharp sword.  From him comes bloodshed and discord -he knows well how to sow these- as war between brothers, or among master and servant.  And under him are 30 legions.

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SPOOKTOBER DAY 20 – SOUTHERN GOTHIC
OPTIONAL CHALLENGE:  CRIME & CRIMINALS

TITLE:  KEEP AUSTIN WEIRD

Premise:  Any given city is part of the world, with people flowing into and out of it from anywhere.  They tend to have stronger relationships with some towns over others – Brooklyn people moving to Philadelphia or San Francisco to Seattle – and their own local cultures are subject to much more change than regional pride would let on.  Why would assholes in rural Washington state speak with a generic southern accent?  Learned it from country music, or from whatever relationships they have with more properly southern places.

But there is a more truly local experience you can find beneath the surface, as Julie Delpy said of Paris in Killing Zoe.  The local music scene connects to the drug scene connects to other criminal enterprises connects to the cops connects to city hall connects to every business in the city connects back to the people.

“Keep Austin Weird,” say the hipsters innocently, not knowing the darker side of that weirdness.  There are a handful of parallel indie music scenes with a little crossover, and a Romeo and Juliet type situation emerges from a punks vs hipsters collision.  The punks are generally cool but their reckless drug use and self-destructive ways cause problems for the more socially acceptable musicians, and it blows up into overt conflict.  Young innocents new to their respective scenes get together and spark a bit of a gang war.

Horror Element:  At first the punks are the horror.  People get hurt or get dead in the recklessness.  But the intrigue pulls the strands of the whole web across the star-crossed lovers, and they could easily get killed for knowing too much.

Wow that was a lot of words to not really say shit lol.

Some Nonsense:  Nuduch, or Concubine Andrialfis, appears in the likeness of a peafowl, and making great noises.  And upon taking human form, she teaches geometry fully, and all arts pertaining to it.  She makes men wise in arts, and changes them into kinds of birds.  She has beneath her thirty legions.

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SPOOKTOBER DAY 21 – WEREWOLVES & BEASTS
OPTIONAL CHALLENGE:  SURVIVAL HORROR

TITLE:  ROAD RAGE

Premise:  The city has always been full of vehicular violence.  Happens every day.  Can’t you see I’m a reasonable man?  Look what you made me do?  People get up in the morning, slug down motor oil and shredded sparkplugs, leave slamming their front doors so hard they hang off the hinges.  Nobody’s going to steal anything.  They’re too busy jockeying for position on the blood-soaked streets.  Work doesn’t last long, punching clocks and flipping switches and angrily doing confusing things while being told they’re doing it wrong and are going to get fired although they never do, because it’s all just a framing device for the only life that matters – the Commute.

Horror Element:  The hell of those who killed in traffic.  There are cooler heads here as well, trapped in somebody else’s eternal torment.  Where’s the justice in that?  They establish private enclaves and carefully scurry through back alleys trying not to get hit, scrounging things edible to human beings – mostly rats, pigeons, and dandelion greens.

Understandably, they let the toughest among them do most of the fighting and running.  Leon Kennedy types GTA around the environment, scoring cool points with acts of audacity and bravado.  But past a certain point, might they become monsters themselves?

I was really charmed by the unreality of the merchant and shooting gallery segments in Resident Evil IV Remake, and thought it would be fun to see this kind of thing in other forms of fiction.  Gotta work that in somewhere as well.  Maybe a Katamari Damacy-flavored minigame.  Roll up those rats.

Some Nonsense:  Margoas – or Margodas, or Mardoas, or Margutas – is a great marquis, appearing in the likeness of a strong wolf, his tail a serpent.  He spits the tail out of his mouth and with human form leads armed men; he is the best warrior.  He gives fully true responses to all questions, and is faithful to all demands of the exorcist.  He was of the order of Dominations and has under his power thirty legions.  He looks after twelve hundred years to return to Heaven, which is not believable.

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SPOOKTOBER DAY 22 – ECO-HORROR
OPTIONAL CHALLENGE:  ROAD TRIP

TITLE:  BURN ASPHALT

Premise:  In the early eighties, two FBI agents are investigating a series of arsons and murders at rest stops and small towns along highways.  They encounter increasingly terrible scenes as they get further from civilization and reasonable means of calling for help.

Horror Element:  Surprise threequel to Fire Red and The Smokers.  I’m done making cops be good guys so these dudes should suck ass and die hard.  Basically, the radiation-stoked fire demons from the first two stories are at it again, mixed with the winnebago world of Race With the Devil.

Some Nonsense:  Ascaroth, a duke great and strong, appears in the form of an angel with foul breath, riding upon an infernal dragon – in his right hand a viper.  He gives fully true responses of the present, past, and future.  Of occult things he speaks freely, of his service to God, and how he sinned and fell from above.  He makes a person marvelous in all liberal arts.  The exorcist that binds this Ascharoth beware, for all that is holy, come not near the intolerable fetor that proceeds greatly from his mouth.  Knowing of this enormous defect, they should proceed with caution, lest they be overwhelmed.  The exorcist must hold themself daring – and suffused with sandalwood.

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SPOOKTOBER DAY 23 – LOVECRAFTIAN/ELDRITCH
OPTIONAL CHALLENGE:  SOAP OPERA

TITLE:  DENHOLM IS BACK

Premise:  Denholm Forsythe walked among the wealthy but was always unsatisfied with the games of politics and corporate greed.  For him, the lust for power and conquest was only truly gratifying if it was against people he personally knew.  And so he wove a web of deceit and games and elaborate ploys to ruin lives and steal fortunes, all while getting away clean.  After all, who would believe you replaced Jackson Colquhart with a Venezuelan pirate that had been made into a look-alike with plastic surgery, or that you’d arranged for Heathcliff Devereaux to hang-glide into a herd of rabid elephants?

At last enough people got wise that his fourth wife Jessica slashed his throat with a priceless diamond tiara and pushed him out of a cessna at two thousand feet sans parachute, whereupon he landed in a pit of venomous snakes.

Horror Element:  Little did Jessica know, the snake pit was a sacrificial ground, where the secret ingredients to work the magic just happened to be slashing a guys throat with a diamond and dropping him from a height greater than fifty feet into the magic circle.

Denholm was reborn in the service of Hlagkagadag the Inexplicable.  Now he’s back, to drive Jessica insane.

Some Nonsense:  Bonoree, a great marquis and duke, appears in the likeness of a monster.  He makes people marvelous in rhetoric, gives the best understanding of all languages.  He gives the grace of friends and enemies, and has nineteen legions in his dominion.

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SPOOKTOBER DAY 24 – GOTHIC
OPTIONAL CHALLENGE:  DISASTER

TITLE:  THE FATE OF THE ANIMALS

Premise:  In a remote Sachsen forest circa 1910, an ancient noble estate has fallen into disrepair.  The young lady of the estate is haunted by visions of animals in mortal terror running in masses, sparks at their hooves.  Premonitions of a forest fire, or stress from misogynist abuse?  If they could just get her married to a suitably wealthy manjob…

Horror Element:  Rotating list of jerk suitors facilitated by jerk parents, whilst being haunted with ghosts and health problems.  Culminates in a fall of a house of (insert embarrassing German name here) from a forest fire, that turns out to be an early offensive by the Tsar.

Some Nonsense:  Paragalla, a great marquis and count, appears in the likeness of a soldier, his head like that of a lion and his horse like a flame of fire.  He has power over birds and animals.  And let the exorcist have made a soldier of bronze, carrying a sword in his hand, and let it be sharp.  And let him command Paragalla to consecrate the aforementioned soldier: it has power to wound or to kill with a sword, or merely with a knife, by piercing.  Then it may be placed in the house of the king, amid those who quarrel, such as between man and wife.  And he has beneath him thirty legions.

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