Yes, friends, I hereby renounce my atheism, anti-theism, skepticism, anti-supernaturalism, all of it. I’ve gone all woo on you guys, and have hung out my own shingle as a Professional Psychic! My first Official Prediction: some peoples’ president, Donald Trump, will fire another federal watchdog very, very soon.*
And to be honest, I kinda get it: I’m not really much of a dog person myself. Anyway, YOU READ IT HERE FIRST!
That’ll be $300, please. CASH ONLY.
*What? No! Of course not! My impressive psychic prediction has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with this email alert I just got from the New York Daily News: