Web Exclusive Guest Opinion: A FEW THOUGHTS ON 9/11 AND OUR CURRENT MOMENT

File image of Congressman Sean Casten.

By Congressman Sean Casten (IL06)

This guest opinion is based on a twitter thread posted on 9/11/20. He is a member of the Congressional Freethought Caucus.
I grew up in the NYC suburbs in the 1980s. I wasn’t living there in 2001, but still had lots of friends and family in the area. A good family friend was on flight 93. He was, among other things a pilot. We’d like to believe he had some heroic role in those final moments given his training.
I was working in MA at the time and was in the process of training a new sales rep when we were interrupted with news that “a small plane” hit one of the towers. It seemed insignificant, in the way that breaking news sometimes does. Of course, the news moved quickly and (by completely random coincidence) the power went out in our office. Caused by a line worker in our office park, but felt like the beginning of a national disaster. We sent everyone home. I called my wife who was on her way to grad school and told her I had no idea what was going on, but to get home. We met and watched TV for the rest of the day.
There is nothing heroic in my story, but for the universality of it. Our day was like everyone else’s in the country – and the world. We were panicked, heartbroken, confused, saddened, angry… and yet united by our common humanity.
And the day was a mix of almost absurd specificity (my friend on flight 93) and global generality (who did this? Why?) Even if you didn’t know anyone who died on 9/11, the nature of the event made it personal. This story from Esquire captures that vibe almost perfectly: https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a48031/the-falling-man-tom-junod/
Now to the current moment. We’ve lost more Americans to COVID-19 this week than we lost on 9/11. Each of the 192,000+ we have lost is also a very specific person with friends, neighbors and loved ones who had plans. Who may or may not have been heroic in their final moments. But who did nothing to deserve their fate. We can’t afford to lose sight of that. I’ll leave psychologists to explain why an individual friend’s death is more of a gut punch than the deaths of 3,000 (or 192,000) strangers. But the tragedy is greater, not smaller for the larger loss.
George W Bush, for all his flaws, understood that on 9/11. He reminded us we were all Americans. He reminded us this wasn’t about a religion. Most Americans, and the best of our elected officials still understand that.
So be strong today. Celebrate our shared humanity. Don’t sink to the level of those who can’t do that; model the behavior you’d like them to follow. #leadwithlove.

UFOs displaying Jeanne Ives ads crash in Naperville (Fiction)

By Reporter X

Ten UFOs displaying ads for Congressional candidate Jeanne Ives crashed in Naperville Sunday eve.   The UFOs lifted off from Bolingbrook’s Clow UFO Base at 7:30 pm, but each craft reported equipment malfunctions when they flew over Lisle at 7:45.

A transcript from one of the pilots read: “Our hologram is spinning!  The ground is above me!  There are too many trees!”

Other pilots claimed they were victims of the so-called Lisle Square, a mysterious region in Lisle where some UFO’s experience anomalies.  The last crash associated with the Lisle Square occurred in 2008 when K09 UFO crashed into Four Lakes Ski Hill.

When Clow traffic control ordered the craft to fly south, the UFOs flew westward instead.  The leader explained that flying west would have saved the crew of Flight 19.  Flight 19 was a Navy Air Squadron that flew into the Bermuda Triangle wormhole back in 1945.

Instead of regaining control by flying west, the UFOs lost power once they left Lisle airspace and crashed in the downtown Naperville area.

John X. Carter witnessed one of the UFOs crash into downtown Naperville:  “I saw this burning disc with a Jeanne Ives ad in a power dive.  I turned to run away because I thought it was going to hit an apartment building. A few seconds later, I stopped when I heard a fire alarm go off.  The apartment was fine and I didn’t see any sign of the UFO.  The fire department blocked off the area behind the apartment and got really mad when I tried to take a look.  Maybe it phased cloaked through the apartment and crash-landed in the Library parking lot?”

Clow officials denied the existence of the Lisle Square and insisted there was a rational explanation for the accident.

“These display ad crafts have the same design flaw as the K09,” said Joan Armstrong, spokesperson for Bolingbrook’s Department of Interstellar Affairs.  “They’ll travel thousands of light-years without any issue, only to fall apart when they reach Earth.  There is no Lisle Square and don’t make us drag Brian Dunning out of obscurity to debunk it!”

Armstrong confirmed that the fleet was paid for by the Ives campaign to display her ads above the Sixth Congressional District.

“If she wants a refund, she’ll have to talk to the crew.  Clow assumes no responsibility for defective UFOs that just happen to be in our airspace.”

An anonymous staffer for the Ives campaign denied that Ives is spending money on UFO advertising:

“Jeanne’s signs are being defaced with vulgar words like (expletive deleted).  (Congressman Sean Casten) won’t denounce his (transphobic remark deleted) (racist remark deleted) (sexist remark deleted) gang!”

A woman who sounded like Ives said, “Remember what’s on the banner outside?”

“I’m sorry, but ‘Mobs or Jobs’ is lame.  Why can’t we just say (racist remark deleted) or militias?”

“I’ve played dog-whistle politics longer than you’ve been alive, so don’t you dare lecture me on what slogans I should use.  Now tell that reporter that Sean is the real divider and Pat Brady is an evil R.I.N.O!”

A spokesperson for the Casten campaign reached by Zoom laughed and talked about Casten’s work on climate change.

In the background, a woman who resembles covert social media operative Charlene Spencer spoke while wearing a modified full-face snorkel mask:  “You’re going to love these scripts, and I won’t charge you for the production.”

A woman wearing a hazmat suit replied:  “Thanks, but we already produced our first TV ad.  Here’s the first one.”

“You’re going with the nerd angle?  Seriously?  Have you guys seen how dark and depressing the world is today?”

“Yes.”

“Then why are you running a funny ad?”

“Because where there’s humor, there’s hope.  A vote for Sean is a vote for hope.”

“Oh, please!”

A receptionist for Bolingbrook Mayor Mary Alexander-Basta said she was speaking with the co-village administrators and could not be disturbed:

“Have a great day, and don’t blame Mayor Mary for two more weeks of COVID mitigation rules.”

In the background, a man shouted, “Zombies!  2020 has unleashed zombies on Bolingbrook!”

A man who sounded like Mayor Emeritus Roger Claar yelled:  “Just because they named a street after me doesn’t mean I’m dead!”

Also in the Babbler:

Joshie Berger closes Clow’s Worst to First restaurant
Bolingbrook man’s blood turns to vodka after taking Russian COVID vaccine
Editorial:  Nineteen years later, the terrorists lost, but so did we
God to smite Bolingbrook on 9/12/20

Tensions rise as Space Force and Martian Colonial Fleet increase patrols over Bolingbrook (Fiction)

By Reporter X

Space Force Logo

Citing unrest on Earth, both the United States Space Force and the Martian Colonial Fleet announced increased patrols in the Bolingbrook area.  Both sides have bases in Bolingbrook.

“Space Antifa is invading our country!” said Peter Z. Miller, spokesperson for the 1st Space Force High Border Wall Battalion stationed in Bolingbrook.  “They are attacking Kenosha, have a beachhead in Portland, and are sabotaging Chicago!  We will not let suburban housewives in Bolingbrook be subdued by these aliens.  We will not let them destroy your home values.  Our battalion has a message for the Colonial Fleet: You will not survive our storm because where we go one, we go all!”

The Martian Colonial Government released a statement defending their increased patrols in Bolingbrook:  “Earth’s meme pandemic threatens the safety of all visitors to Bolingbrook.  Clow UFO Base may be sealed off from human traffic, but its staff members are still endangered by the meme infected humans surrounding it.  Our new effort will protect members of the Interstellar Commonwealth, and deter the space weaklings from harassing our solar system!  Some humans in Bolingbrook might be also protected as a result of our actions.”

According to eyewitnesses, new patrols have already created tense situations. Several eyewitnesses at the March on Bolingbrook reported an apparent near-miss between a Space Force interceptor and a Colonial destroyer.

“The UFO was just hovering over us,” said Tasha, who asked that we not use her last name.  “It wasn’t bothering us.  Then these weird airplanes charged at it.  I was worried that they were going to collide.  Instead, the UFO became translucent and the airplanes flew right through it like it was a ghost ship.  I guess the UFO was protecting us.  It’s nice to know that aliens believe that black lives matter.”

Other eyewitnesses claim that soldiers from both sides nearly shot at each other at the Bolingbrook Portillo’s.

“I was nervous when I saw those two men wearing blue camouflage,” said Mary, who asked that we not use her last name.  “They were eyeing two Black men I’d never seen before.  Then one of the camouflage guys yells he’s under attack and starts firing at us.  I thought we were goners, but his shots were blocked by a force field.  The two Black men stood up and said something in a weird language.  The camouflage guys said something about coming back with better weapons.  Things are really getting bad around here.  My friends say I should vote for Trump to save us from Joe Biden.  But I don’t remember the country descending into anarchy when Joe was the Vice-president.”

Steve, another eyewitness, added: “The scary thing is, if I had thrown my shake at those shooters, and gotten killed, people on the Internet would say I deserved it and then bring up my dirty laundry.  When did it become a crime to defend yourself from a mass shooter?”

The eyewitnesses said the Men in Blue arrived and both soldiers left.  Patrons were offered refunds for their meals and were told not to tell the mainstream media what happened.

A receptionist for Mayor Mary Alexander-Basta said she was in a meeting and could not be disturbed.

In the background, a woman who sounded like Alexander-Basta said: “You know, instead of being divided by party, we should try to work together as one big family.”

A man who sounded like Trustee Robert Jaskiewicz said: “That’s why I nominated you to be the mayor.”

“Great.  So you understand why it’s important for a family to speak with one voice during a crisis?”

“What are you getting at?”

“What I’m getting at are the new COVID mitigation measures our region is under.  Every voter hates them, and we don’t want the voters to hate us, right?”

“I hate them too, but what’s your solution?”

“We need to make sure that every time we mention them, we point out that they were imposed on us by the state and county.  So Bolingbrook voters will blame (Governor JB Pritzker) and (Will County Board Member Jackie Traynere) instead of us.”

“Wait a minute.  We shouldn’t be pointing fingers.  We should be taking the lead to get this virus under control in Bolingbrook.  Maybe we should be following the University of Illinois’ example and encourage mass testing of residents.  Then we can have the infected people isolate themselves until they’re no longer contagious.  We could also explain that the virus is airborne and it’s safer to serve customers outdoors instead of indoors.  Then we can get the positivity rate down and be an example for the rest of Illinois to follow.  Let’s show some real leadership for once!”

“You just have to be the pariah of our family, don’t you?”

Also in the Babbler:

Editorial: Death of Trump supporter in Portland is wrong too
Generation ship crew agrees to avoid Earth on election day
Will County confirms interplanetary absentee ballots will arrive from Peotone UFO Base
God to smite Bolingbrook on 9/3/20

Rebecca Watson video on terrified conservatives (Non-fiction)

Rebecca Watson from Skepchick just posted a video about a study into how people determine what kinds of protests are they consider “extreme:”

 

I don’t believe conservatives hide in fear all the time, but I agree there is an element of fear when I hear conservatives talk or read their writings.  Like how a new tax will ruin the economy, or how granting a “special right” will harm heterosexual whites, or how atheism will destroy society.  What they fear evolves over time, but there is always that element of fear in their beliefs.

Thoughts?

Say their names (Non-fiction)

The Milwaukee Journal Sentinal recently posted profiles of the victims of Kenosha, WI shooting, and, refreshingly, it wasn’t a hit piece.

Anthony Huber, 26, of Silver Lake

Friends described Huber as a happy and laid-back guy who loved to skateboard.

“He was always a really sweet person. Always had a smile on his face,” said Max Seebeck, who grew up skateboarding with Huber in Kenosha.

From what I saw in the video, I believe he saved at least one person’s life when he charged at the shooter, Kyle Rittenhouse.  It’s disgusting that the right-wing media has tried to portray Huber as the attacker.  Especially when some conservative writers call bystanders cowards for not charging at a shooter during a shooting spree.  There is a GoFundMe page for his partner.

Joseph Rosenbaum, 36, of Kenosha

According to social media posts from friends and family, Rosenbaum is a Texas native. He moved to Kenosha within the last year.

Rosenbaum was shot in the head, a friend said.

There is a GoFundMe page set up to raise money for burial expenses.

Gaige Grosskreutz, 26, of West Allis

Grosskreutz was shot in the arm and is expected to survive.

Grosskreutz was in Kenosha on Tuesday with the Milwaukee-based social justice group the People’s Revolution Movement, spokeswoman Bethany Crevensten said…Grosskreutz had volunteered as a medic at Black Lives Matter protests across Milwaukee this summer, according to WTMJ-TV.

There’s a GoFundMe page set up to help cover his medical expenses.  The last update on the page says he won’t lose his arm, but will need more surgeries.

All three of them peacefully protested that night for social justice.  Their lives were more valuable than a boarded up gas station Rittenhouse claimed he was defending.  We should be saying their names too.

From the Webmaster: It’s mitigation time again, Bolingbrook! (Mixed)

Bad news, Bolingbrook residents:  Due to the rising COVID-19 Positivity rate in Kankakee and Will Counties, IDPH imposed mitigation measures on Region 7, which includes Bolingbrook.  In addition to Clow UFO Base remaining sealed off from human visitors, the following measure will take effect on Wednesday:

Bars:

  • All bars close at 11:00pm
  • No indoor service
  • All bar patrons should be seated at tables outside
  • No ordering, seating, or congregating at the bar (bar stools should be removed)
  • Tables should be 6 feet apart
  • No standing or congregating indoors or outdoors while waiting for a table or exiting
  • No dancing or standing indoors
  • Reservations required for each party
  • No seating of multiple parties at one table

Restaurants:

  • All restaurants close at 11:00pm
  • No indoor dining or bar service
  • Tables should be 6 feet apart
  • No standing or congregating indoors or outdoors while waiting for a table or exiting
  • Reservations required for each party
  • No seating of multiple parties at one table

Meetings, Social Events, and Gatherings:

  • Limit to lesser of 25 guests or 25% of overall room capacity
  • No party buses
  • Gaming and Casinos close at 11:00pm, are limited to 25 percent capacity, and follow mitigations for bars and restaurants, if applicable

Should the village have resumed its Wednesday Night Concert Series?  It’s too late for second-guessing now.  Instead, let’s do our part by practicing physical distancing, wearing a mask in public when distancing isn’t an option, and wash our hands.  We’ve done this before, and we can do it again!

Palatine proposes haunted parking lot for early voting site (Fiction)

Update:  Since this article was published, the Village of Palatine announced that the early voting site will be at 150 W. Wilson Street:

Early voting will take place from 10/19/20 to 11/2/20, with hours of 9 AM – 7 PM Monday through Friday and 9 AM – 5 PM on weekends.

Our sources also tell us that the ghosts residing in the building agreed not to scare or spy on voters.

Original article:

According to sources, the Village of Palatine will use a haunted parking lot for their early voting location.

Located on the corner of N. Smith Street and W. Colfax Street, the parking lot is allegedly home to at least one ghost.  According to the Palatine Patch, sometime during World War II, a factory worker was killed by a car near this intersection.  Some residents, like Phil, claim that the intersection is haunted by that worker:

“Every evening, I see a man with a lunch box crossing the street.  I know it’s that ghost.  Sometimes he changes his face and disguises the lunch bucket as a briefcase or cell phone, but he can’t fool me!”

Despite the presence of the infamous ghost, the village will offer the adjacent parking lot to the Cook County Clerk as an early voting location.  The village will offer an open tent, but the county will be expected to staff the site and devise a way to ensure each voter’s privacy.

According to a member of the Village Manager’s staff, the parking lot is the only acceptable location left in Palatine: “The room we used to use in Village Hall is too cramped.  Using the Police Department is apparently too intimidating for some residents.  So we’re using a parking lot and that’s it.  If you’re afraid of ghosts, that’s too bad!  What’s there to be afraid of?  They’re dead, and you can walk through them.”

Joyce, a long time Palatine resident, believes that ghosts are a threat to some residents:  “If you have a heart condition, being startled by a ghost can kill you.  Ghosts also remind people of their own mortality.  Knowing that a polling place is haunted might discourage some voters, and that would be bad.  We need a safe and secure early voting site in Palatine.  I don’t want to spend election day stuck in a long line to enter a crowded room, only to have my ballot tossed because some inexperienced election judge forgot to initial my ballot.”

Stephanie, another long time resident of Palatine, isn’t concerned about voting in a haunted parking lot:  “I’m pretty sure that the Cook County Clerk’s office has ways of dealing with ghosts.  After all, it’s likely that every building in Chicago is haunted.”

A receptionist for Village Hall said that Village Manager Reid Ottesen was busy and could not be disturbed.  

In the background, a person who sounded like Ottesen, said: “What are you reading?”

A man who sounded like Mayor Jim Schwantz said: “My producers sent these pre-written obituaries for every member of the Chicago Bears.  All my years in the NFL taught me that you can never be too prepared!”

Also in the Babbler:

Wererats to perform at Bolingbrook’s Wednesday Concert Series
Hidden Lakes Monster rescues toddler from drowning
Full Contact Gospel Church to hold ‘Sparing for Jesus’ demonstration
God to smite Bolingbrook on 8/26/20

Note:  This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer.  Feel free to leave a comment here or in the Bolingbrook Babbler Readers Group. 

Video: Rebecca Watson on the so-called ‘Neck Gaiter’ study (Non-fiction)

Rebecca Watson recently released a video detailing the study behind the news reports claiming that neck gaiters are worse than not wearing a mask.  Basically, the study wasn’t about the effectiveness of various kinds of mask, but about a possible method to test the effectiveness of masks:

As this article from ScienceNews points out, the type of material, thickness, and the environment are the most important factors to the effectiveness of any face covering.  Droplets don’t tell the whole story, and hopefully, more studies will be conducted to determine which face coverings, aside from N95 masks, are the most effective.

I think I’ll stick with the cloth and coffee filter masks my wife makes for personal use.

Trustee Watts survives confrontation with sentient tree bartenders (Fiction)

The Bolingbrook Board of Trustees approved a liquor license for The Sacred Succulent plant bar, despite its sentient trees attacking Trustee Sheldon Watts. 

“That was just a little misunderstanding,” said an employee who asked not to be identified.  “We made some changes and the Board created a special liquor license for us.  Sure, it means ordering drinks from a human server, but our plant bar will sell the only pots you can legally buy in Bolingbrook.”

According to sources within Village Hall, village inspectors contacted Watts after they were told The Sacred Succulent planned on employing “exotic tree bartenders.”

“I thought they were just trees with silly names,” said one of the inspectors.  “But they were moving trees!  They used their roots to crawl across the floor, and used their branches like hands and arms!  We figured we should ask for Sheldon’s help because he’s the president of the Bolingbrook STEM Association.  He would know if they were safe or dangerous, like Triffids.”

When Watts arrived, he asked Alice, the manager, why the trees were serving alcohol without a license.  Alice replied that they were merely demonstrating how the trees would serve the public and that the inspectors didn’t have to accept the drinks.  Alice claimed the trees were from an exotic location and would be the first tree bartenders in Illinois.

Watts then examined the trees and asked them to mix common alcoholic drinks.  The trees silently complied.  The manager argued that state and local liquor laws only applied to humans, not trees.  Watts then typed on his smartphone and showed it to the manager.

“You taught the trees how to mix drinks?”

“Yes,” replied Alice.

“Are you familiar with these drinks?”

“No.”

Watts then asked the trees to serve him a Giggling Yoda, an Aurora Jungle Juice, and a Buzzed Aldrin with a Winterfell chaser.  The trees didn’t move.  About fifteen minutes later, an Instacart driver arrived with the ingredients for the drinks.  The trees then served the drinks to Watts.

“Perfect,” Watts said.  “However, that means you had to look these drinks up on the Internet.  There’s only one kind of sentient tree that can do that.  So that means both of you are members of the Lisle Treeocracy!”

The trees turned towards each other.

“You’re not bartenders,” continued Watts.  “You’re abominations before God!”

The trees replied by attacking Watts.  Seconds later, Men in Blue arrived and freed Watts from the trees.  Mayor Mary Alexander-Basta ran into the building.  

After she asked if Watts was okay, he replied, “How did you know I was here?”

Alexander-Basta looked around:  “Odd.  A little girl in a green dress said you were in trouble.  She was beside me a moment ago, but now she’s gone.”

Alexander-Basta introduced herself to the trees and said: “I am honored to greet members of the Lisle Treeocarcy.  I apologize for my fellow trustee’s judgmental temperament.  At the same time, I can’t have you attacking members of my community.  So let’s make a deal.  The backroom has a skylight and plenty of room.  That will be your embassy, which we will treat as sovereign Treeocracy territory.  As long as you don’t try to expand your territory, we’ll be fine.  I’ll make sure to send dignitaries to discuss any issues that may exist between Bolingbrook and the Treeocarcy.  Deal?”

The trees nodded and moved to the backroom.  Basta told the manager that in exchange for a liquor license, the trees were not allowed to serve the general public.  She added that The Sacred Succulent could turn the backroom into a private club and the trees could serve the club members.

Watts was not pleased.  “You may have averted war with Lisle, but Trustee Mayors are still an abomination!”

“Stay positive, Sheldon.”

A receptionist from Lisle Village Hall denied the existence of sentient trees:  “What a silly thing to say.  We love our trees.  The trees love us.  They’re normal trees.  They won’t hurt us as long as we do as they say—I mean they can’t hurt us.  They’re trees.  We love trees.  If they could talk we would do exactly what they said because they’re smart.  And strong.  Yes!  Smart and strong!”

A receptionist for Alexander-Basta said she was busy and didn’t know when she would have time for an interview:

“You know…Even though there’s a pandemic raging across the country, and residents are marching in the street, I’m not worried. I know there’s a higher power watching over our great village.”

In the background, a man screamed:  “Village Hall is haunted!”

A man who sounded like former Mayor Roger Claar replied:  “I’m not a ghost.  I’m the Mayor Emeritus of Bolingbrook!”

Also in the Babbler:

Alexander-Basta signs first permit for UFOs to display political ads
Palatine UFO Base refuses refunds to aliens visiting for the Democratic Convention
Mayor Lightfoot threatens to deploy giant robots to protect the Loop
God to smite Bolingbrook on 8/20/20

 Note:  This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer.  Feel free to leave a comment here or in the Bolingbrook Babbler Readers Group. 

Ed Brayton’s last blog post (Non-fiction)

 

Ed Brayton

Ed Brayton, a co-founder of Freethought Blogs and a blogger at Patheos, died last night. I never met him, but I did appreciate both his blog and Facebook posts.  He understood that disbelief in God wasn’t enough.  His answer to the question of “So what?” was to work for social justice.  Which why he helped create this network, and he continued that work on his blog, as well as through various humanist organizations.

I never meet him, but if I had, I would have thanked him for his work, and for creating the platform that I’m currently on.  I did say that his memory would be a blessing, but I don’t know if he ever read it.

He wrote in his last post:

Don’t be sad about this, be hopeful. I got to make the decision myself and spare others from that awful task. I did it while still of sound mind, if not body. That means the world to me. I maintained my self-determination until the end.

In closing, let me just say thank you again. You made my life better, richer and more fulfilled and who could ask for more? Goodbye, one and all. I will miss you as I hope you will miss me. Be good to each other along this incredible journey.

Many of us will miss him, and, in a universe without a God or higher cause, being missed is one of the signs that you lived a good life.  My condolences to those who knew him better than I did.