Doing some very last-minute rewriting of the novel and recovering from my weekend getaway. But here’s a music video for Brighter Days by Michael Franti and Spearhead to kick off the week:
Hopefully more news about the novel soon.
Is WeatherTech, one of Bolingbrook’s largest employers, developing liners to turn any basement into a nuclear fallout shelter? Some insiders insist they are, and WeatherTech hopes to distribute them in May.
“This marketing opportunity is too good to pass up,” said Stacy, who asked that we not use her last name. “Everyone wants protection from a nuclear attack, and WeatherTech is in the protection business. It’s a natural fit.”
Don, a WeatherTech materials specialist, explained that since rubber is resistant to radiation and WeatherTech’s products are made with rubber, it wasn’t hard to come up with prototypes. “The only problem is size. Let’s face it. A basement floor usually requires more coverage than a car floor.”
Is this an ad for WeatherTech’s newest product?
All the sources agree that WeatherTech will sell liners that can be cut to fit the shape of any basement. WeatherTech will also sell “NukeTech” glue to attach the liners to walls and ceilings.
“We hope we never go to war, but if you live in the suburbs, we think you can ride it out inside your WeatherTech enhanced basement. We’ll even have a line of Faraday cages to protect your electronics. You’ll be prepped in style. Too much?”
Larry Z. Carter, a Bolingbrook resident trying to read every post-apocalyptic novel, says the liners are a good idea, but they won’t be enough. “There are so many things we take for granted. Like toilets, electricity, windows, access to ammunition, and grocery stores. WeatherTech has great rubber, but you can’t eat it.”
Paula X. Carter, Larry’s wife, asked Larry if he was going to visit her parents. He replied he needed to read another novel.
“Haven’t you finished already?”
“By the time I finish one series, there are 15 more series released on Amazon. I can’t stop reading until they stop publishing. Trust me, one of those novels will come in handy when the world finally ends.”
Stacy claims the Village of Bolingbrook has already placed an order to turn Town Center into a fallout shelter. She also stressed that the liners will not protect against a nuclear blast.
“There are limits to what our products can do. Hard to believe, I know.”
Bolingbrook Mayor Mary Alexander-Basta denied knowing about WeatherTech’s proposed liners and said the village had no plans to buy any.
“If you would attend our board meetings, you’d know what the village was buying.”
Alexander-Basta then received a video chat request. She accepted. A woman appeared on the screen. An anti-tank weapon was mounted on the wall behind her.
“This is Congresswoman Lauren Boebert,” she said. “My pronouns are big and gun.”
“Those aren’t pronouns.”
“Now they are. Anyway, tell (Former Mayor Roger Claar) that he’d better make Congressman Key Bump disappear, or I’ll tweet about Roger, and not in a good way.”
“Do I look like his secretary?”
“No. You look like you have cooties.”
“Are you an overgrown ten-year-old?”
“I am the future of the Republican Party. In fact, if I’m reelected, I will be the representative leading the 24 impeachments of President Biden.”
“24?”
“Yes. We’re going to have an impeachment a month, and I’m going to start the first one against the criminal in the White House!”
“Wait a minute. You have a criminal record, and what role did you play in the insurrection?”
“Let’s go Brandon!”
Also in the Babbler:
Russia launches cold air attack against Bolingbrook
Alien injured in Ukraine treated at Palatine’s UFO Base
DuPage Township wins award for its off-world programs.
God to smite Bolingbrook on 4/1/22.
Note: This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer.
My new novel, The Rift: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story, is coming out soon. Pathways to Bolingbrook: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story is free and available now. For book updates, sign up for my newsletter.
I just got the print copy of Pathways to Bolingbrook today. Overall, I’m pleased with it.
Callie approves too.
The print version has a preview of my upcoming novel, The Rift. The ebook does not, but it’s free. To find a retailer, you can go to books2read.com/pathwaystobolingbrook.
By Reporter X
Palatine police officers arrested a Russian pilot who landed a UFO interceptor at the local McDonald’s and tried to steal its food.
Sue, an employee who asked that we not use her last name, described the attempted food heist: “First I was wondering why all these cars were speeding in the parking lot. Then when I took an order, this guy with a really bad Russian accent demanded all of our food. When I looked at the monitor, I saw he was inside a weird airplane. That’s when I pressed the panic button and quit my job.”
A recording obtained by the Babbler confirms her story. The pilot describes himself as a member of Russia’s Star Strike, a covert branch of the Russian Air Force tasked with protecting Russians from alien attacks. The pilot tells Sue, “Give me all your combo meals, all your Happy Meals, and all your dollar food! I can pay in lead or you can give me a free discount!”
While most drive-through customers tried to escape, Gary, a recent Russian immigrant, approached the pilot. Gary described the conversation afterward: “I told the pilot Putin was making all Russian people look bad, and asked why he was helping the military commit atrocities? He said, ‘Whatabout’ and listed US atrocities like the Iraq invasion, Afghanistan, and the treatment of Native Americans. I replied, ‘What about this?’ And then I punched him. I knocked him out. Just because the US has done terrible things doesn’t make it okay for Putin to do terrible things.”
Police officers from the Interstellar Division arrested the pilot. Both the pilot and the craft are at Palatine’s Sherman UFO Base.
According to Sheila Z. Blake, head of the Interstellar Division, the pilot was trying to secure food for Russian soldiers: “The Russian military has terrible logistics. He also has an addiction to McDonald’s food, so that’s another reason.”
Blake added that although the craft flew through air space monitored by Bolingbrook’s Clow UFO Base, Clow officials never warned Palatine officials about the craft.
“This is yet another example of how the war between the New World Order and the Illuminati is hurting Chicagoland.”
Sherman UFO Base is affiliated with the New World Order, while Bolingbrook’s Clow UFO Base is affiliated with the Illuminati.
Bolingbrook Mayor Mary Alexander-Basta emailed this statement to the Babbler: “This would be a good time to tell your readers which charities they should support if they want to help Ukrainian refugees.”
Also in the Babbler:
Will permanent Daylight Savings Time destroy the fabric of Space-Time?
Sentient COVID Virus accepts humanities terms of surrender
Putin vows to liberate the Ukrainian Village from the US
God will not smite Bolingbrook this week
Note: This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer.
My new novel, The Rift: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story, is coming out soon. Pathways to Bolingbrook: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story is free and available now. For book updates, sign up for my newsletter.
By Reporter X
Congresswoman Katie Porter, Deputy Chair of the Progressive Caucus, toured Bolingbrook’s Clow UFO base as part of a fact-finding tour for the Sub-subcommittee for Nuts and Bolts Spending.
“I’m happy to see such a well-maintained Illuminati base,” said Porter to a gathering of staff and alien ambassadors. “I have to remind the other base administrators that spreading global chaos does not mean spreading corruption. Fnord!”
Bolingbrook Mayor Mary Alexander-Basta then praised Porter’s achievements for the Illuminati: “Representative Porter has done more with her whiteboard than someone performing 100 Rites of the Pyramid’s Eye. She’s exposed the greed and stagnation of the New World Order and shown how the Illuminati can make positive changes in everyone’s lives. As a woman of global excellence, I salute you.”
Porter pulled out a whiteboard. “Mayor Alexander-Basta, can you state the reasons why Bolingbrook was one of the last communities to allow garbage toters?”
“Mayor Emeritus Roger Claar.”
“Makes sense. I like direct answers to my questions.”
An ambassador from Alpha Centauri asked Porter why the Illuminati wasn’t trying to form an alliance with the Martian Colonies. Porter wrote out the reasons why:
“Any questions?”
“Your Whiteboard skills are amazing. You should lead a first contact mission.”
A Clow staff member said he was “sort of” asked by Rep. Marie Newman’s campaign why she endorsed a “corporate Democrat” over Newman.
“First, let’s define what a ‘corporate Democrat’ is. Corporations and their supporters love the stock market, right? And they love to trade stocks, yes? So a corporate Democrat would love to trade stocks, right? So someone who can afford to trade over $6 million in stocks must really love trading stocks. And if that person also trades in cryptocurrency? Well, that’s the icing on the cake. Right. Well, I just described (Rep. Marie Newman). (Representative Sean Casten), on the other hand, doesn’t trade stocks and wants to ban congressional members from trading stocks. Remember, just because someone owned a business, does not mean they are a corporate Democrat.”
When the staff member pointed out that Newman was also a co-sponsor of the bill, she replied, “She profited from stock trading before she opposed stock trading. Go figure.”
Before returning to Washington, DC, Porter praised the Interstellar Commonwealth. “Whenever I get frustrated in Washington, I just remember how efficient and ethical the Commonwealth is. A good government that helps its constituents is possible in this universe!”
Also in the Babbler:
Alien mercenaries denied access to Clow
Mayor Alexander-Basta insists anti-matter storage units are safe
Leprechauns approve of parades this year
God to smite Bolingbrook on 3/17/22
Note: This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer.
My new novel, The Rift: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story, is coming out soon. Pathways to Bolingbrook: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story is free and available now. For book updates, sign up for my newsletter.
I made an appearance with my fellow Freethought Bloggers last weekend. This month we talked about propaganda, how it works, and what it is exactly:
My additional thoughts: Obviously propaganda isn’t limited to certain ideologies, and everyone has the potential to be swayed by it. In college, I got caught up in the arm-chair revolutionary left, and at times I can see similarities in the mindset with Q-anon and Trump followers. Likewise, there were people I knew in college who were swept up in far-Right propaganda.
We touched on getting out of the propaganda trap. It took a while for me to get out. It probably helped that I didn’t fully buy into the Tankie mindset, and that was one reason I had a falling out with the group I was in. I also took the time to find sources I could trust that were outside the bubble I was in. It also helped me to find a new group of friends and discover one of the earliest online communities. Unfortunately, there is no magic pill or method that can reprogram anyone.
Lastly, I think the panel discussed the difference between propaganda and marketing. After the podcast, I realized that one difference is that good marketing is about presenting a product or service to an audience that might be interested. I’m still working on the marketing for my stories, but I certainly won’t be trying to convert Christian Fundamentalists to love them. My focus will be more on fans of the Babbler, FtB readers, and others who might like it. Propaganda, in some sense, is a more sinister version of Marketing that tries to suck you in and keep you trapped.
Thoughts?
Into the Pathway Village!
I had a productive week as a self-publisher. My short story collection, Pathways to Bolingbrook, is free and available at Amazon, Kobo, and other retailers. If you want to copy, the link will let you select your preferred eBook retailer. While it might have been easier to distribute only with Amazon, I don’t want to be trapped in their ecosystem.
Pathways is a short introduction to two characters, Miriam and Sara, who have important roles in my upcoming series. It already has some reviews:
“William Brinkman’s Pathways to Bolingbrook is such a delicious tease of fantasy, paranormal, and science fiction.”
“A compelling, fun (in a dark, mysterious way…) introduction to the mysteries of Bolingbrook! (…) Looking forward to the next installment!”
The next installment, The Rift, is still on track for release this year. I’ll set the release date once I’m finally finished editing it. Hopefully soon, but I won’t rush it.
I’m also close to assembling a collection of Babbler stories from before I started at Freethought Blogs. Working title is UFOs over Bolingbrook. More details about that one later.
Now back to the redlines!
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My new novel, The Rift: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story, is coming out soon. Pathways to Bolingbrook: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story is free and available now. For book updates, sign up for my newsletter.
Every year, the Babbler gives Bolingbrook’s opposition parties a chance to respond to the Mayor’s State of the Village Address. This year, the United Independent Voices of Bolingbrook, The Roger Claar Party, the Parents Know Best Party, and the Art Bell Party accepted our invitation to respond to the speech by Mayor Alexander-Basta from the First Party for Bolingbrook.
United Independent Voices of Bolingbrook
Better to be united than to be first
Let’s look at Mayor Mary Alexander-Basta’s major accomplishments:
In other words, Mayor Basta has enacted most of our platform. The election is nearly a year away, but we are already victorious.
But it is not enough to win. We have to defend our wins. Gone are the days when Bolingbrook’s incumbent mayor could dominate any election. For all we know, she might not run for re-election and may just appoint her successor. We can’t count on her to keep Bolingbrook in the twenty-first century.
But you can count on us. We will defend our gains if a certain former mayor unleashes his political action committee against Bolingbrook. The First Party depends on this former Mayor, but we’re independent.
Some of you compared us to a political party of cats, and that’s fair sometimes. But cats are also great fighters, and we will fight for Bolingbrook!
The Roger Claar Party
Come back, Roger!
These are dark days. Drugs in stores. Ugly toters are in our yards. The threat of nuclear war is back. Roger Claar is no longer our mayor!
When Roger ran Bolingbrook, everything was perfect. The stores opened on time. There were no wars in Europe. Residents were happy!
Since Roger was forced out of office, crime has gone up, Russia could blow us up, and Amazon has a beachhead in Bolingbrook.
We long for the simple days of Roger’s rule, and we will bring them back. Elect our slate, and we will purge all members of the First Party who betrayed Roger! Then, we will return Roger to his rightful place as Mayor. Next, we will abolish elections! If municipalities can defy health mandates, then they can also defy voting mandates! We know who should run Bolingbrook better than a Springfield politician, and it’s not voters!
Parents Know Best Party
Because we said so!
Mayor Mary may be a parent, but she doesn’t speak for all parents. We speak for the angry parents. We’re mad because we had to keep our kids at home because of “germ theory.” We’re mad that our kids are learning about slavery and discrimination because of “critical race theory.” We’re mad that our kids think we are related to animals because of “Darwin Theory.” We’re sick of theories!
It’s time to stop teaching our kids Arabic numerals, science, and ancient history—like the 1960s. It’s time to teach our kids to trust us and only us.
If elected, we will arrest every Valley View School District member that refuses to obey us. Don’t question us and don’t make us come to your homes. Vote for us because we said so!
The Art Bell Party
Keeping an eye on Bolingbrook’s skies
The Quickening has brought us to the brink of collapse! Russia stands ready to launch ICBMs. Other nations fear we are on the brink of civil war. The dark ages are here.
Mayor Mary could do so much to change the world. She could start by revealing Clow UFO Base to the world. That act alone could unite humanity against possible alien invaders.
She could also do more to protect the residents of Bolingbrook. Not once in her speech did she mention requiring new homes to have a nuclear blast shelter. Why isn’t she buying MREs from fine patriotic suppliers? Why isn’t she providing every resident with a tinfoil cap to protect them from the Soviet Mind Control satellites? Why hasn’t she vowed to exterminate all shifters in Bolingbrook? Do wereskunks provide value to our community?
Mayor Mary, stop bragging about bringing in new businesses that will only contribute to the debris field and start preparing the residents for our post-apocalyptic future!
Also in the Babbler:
Ukraine’s UFO bases transfer their anti-matter fuel to Clow UFO Base
Mayor Mary activates backup command center at the Bolingbrook Golf Club
Valley View parents outraged over proposed ‘Duck and Cover’ drills
God will not smite Bolingbrook this week
Note: This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer.
My new novel, The Rift: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story, is coming out soon. Pathways to Bolingbrook: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story is free and available now. It is also available at Amazon and other stores. For book updates, sign up for my newsletter.
Last night, Rabbi Adam Chalom of Kol Hadash Humanistic Jewish Congregation offered his thoughts on the invasion of Ukraine:
I’d like to add that I agree with Charly over at Affinity whenever I read comments bringing up the US imperialism.
Whenever I look at the comment section under an article or video about the Russian invasion of Ukraine, whether in CZ or EN, there is a visible presence of people who either outright say that Russia is right to this or who say that it is not wrong to do it because… Whatabout Iraq? Whatabout Afghanistan? Whatabout Grenada? Whatabout Whatever?
This is a classic Soviet-era propaganda tool, trying to divert the attention from an injustice being done by the USSR to similar injustices being done by the USA. The old adage that two wrongs do not make a right applies.
I was part of the CIA Off Campus movement and opposed US interventions in the 1980s. I opposed both Gulf Wars as well. George W. Bush should be charged with war crimes for lying about weapons of mass destruction to start a war. Yet, none of that justifies Russia’s invasion of the Ukraine, nor does it mean the US government shouldn’t respond. Imperialism itself is wrong, whether it’s in the name of the US, Russia, Britain, or the former USSR. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking everything the US does is wrong, and everyone who opposes the US is right. Imperialism predates the United States, and other leaders, like Putin, dream of having their own empires.
Still be critical of the coverage, and what all the leaders are saying about the war, but don’t fall into the knee-jerk reaction of assuming the US is always wrong. It’s lazy thinking, and solves nothing.
The National Black Doll Museum, the only doll museum featuring only black dolls, has been closed since 2020. They’re trying to raise money to reopen, but so far they are way behind their goal of $100,000. Abe has more information:
But, unfortunately for the project, 2020 was a difficult year for them, like so many others. With the lack of school engagements, workshops, or in-person celebrations, the museum lost their space in Mansfield due to lack of funding. However, all is not lost! Attleboro, MA has set aside land for cultural development and is interested in working with the National Black Doll Museum to relocate to the new area. But they need funding to do so. The current phase of fundraising has a goal of $100,000 and a deadline at the end of the month — February is Black History Month after all! So I hope that you, much like myself, find the concept exciting and the project worthwhile, and will help to make the new location a reality. Let’s let this understudied aspect of history have a chance to shine again!