Satan reviews ‘The Rift’ (Great American Satan that is) (Non-fiction)

The Rift: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story will be released on July 13, 2022.

Freethought Blog’s Great American Satan posted the most in-depth review of my upcoming novel, The Rift. It’s an honest and fair review and if you’re undecided about buying it, I’d strongly urge you to read this review.

Even within that subculture, the book could lose audience from its concept alone. As I mentioned, the progressives burned by the IRL conflict may have very little interest in seeing a redemption tale play out. Hopefully, the ten years since the furor began will help them get past that enough to read the novel. It handles the subject very well. Everything that starts to feel insensitive, or like a misstep, is ultimately redeemed through the story’s plot. It’s kind of brilliant at that, playing its hand with more subtlety than you might expect.

And all that said, maybe I’m not giving the average non-skeptic-culture reader enough credit here. If the price is right and you like the idea of a feminist sci-fi adventure in a tabloid UFO setting, give it a shot. And if you are in the book’s target demo – skeptic culture warriors – definitely pick this one up.

If you decide to pick it, it’s available on Amazon, and other retailers. You can pre-order the eBook version for $.99, or wait until the official launch date of on Wednesday (July 13).

Just to clarify, the novel is inspired by the web stories I’ve written over the years, but within its own continuity. It’s just like the difference between Marvel Comics and the Marvel Cinematic Universe. So you don’t need to be familiar with the web stories to enjoy The Rift.

The Rift is coming next week! (Non-fiction)

It’s only five days away from the release of my novel, The Rift: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story. The story of skeptic blogger Tom Larsen, how his determination to infiltrate the Humanist Heart congress compiles to work with his local tabloid, The Bolingbrook Babbler. This leads to him getting attacked by a weredeer, and waking up inside Bolingbrook’s Clow UFO Base. With his confidence shattered, and being thrust into the agendas of powerful beings and organizations, can Tom accept the unbelievable truth before it’s too late?

Here another excerpt from the novel:

“My God,” Tom heard himself say.

“Common reaction,” Robert replied bluntly. “Do you remember everything you read in the Babbler?”

Tom nodded.

“Not much has changed in twenty years. Clow is still the largest urban UFO base in the world—and it’s my base.”

Tom looked back at the landing bay. The Babbler was telling the truth, at least about Clow Base. He remembered all the times he’d debunked the base’s existence. The arguments were sound, yet here he was.

Robert cleared his throat.

“It’s like being in an Asimov novel,” said Tom.

Robert shook his head. “Not enough robots. Let’s go.”

It’s nice to see years of work finally coming to fruition. You can preorder the e-book for $.99 at these vendors, including Amazon until July 12. The book goes live on July 13. If you’re looking to buy a book next week, especially during Prime Days, I hope you’ll consider The Rift!

Highland Park Community Shooting Response Fund and misc. (Non-fiction)

The Highland Community Foundation has set up a fund to help the victims and survivors of the Highland Park shooting.

To help those directly impacted by the mass shooting in Highland Park, the Highland Park Community Foundation has established a July 4th Highland Park Shooting Response Fund. All contributions to the Response Fund will go directly to victims and survivors or the organizations that support them. We hope you will contribute as generously as possible.

Here’s a list of organizations promoting gun control you can also donate to.

If there are other groups that should be added, please let me know in the comments.

Finally, Rabbi Adam Chalom of Kol Hadash Humanistic Congregation was at the parade during the shooting and recounted the experience on WGN.

Village sends eviction notice to zombies inside Bolingbrook Commons (Fiction)

As part of a recently announced renovation of Bolingbrook Commons Shopping Center, the village sent an eviction notice to current zombie tenants. The village will also end its “Adopt a Zombie” program after three years.

“Mayor Mary Alexander-Basta has generously allowed our undead residents to exist rent-free for years,” stated a press release from Bolingbrook’s Department of Paranormal Affairs. “Now the village can no longer simultaneously subsidize them, maintain both the Bolingbrook Golf Club and Clow Airport.  The zombies have to go back to the afterlife.”

Under the terms of the agreement, the village will use the sales tax generated by the first $6.5 million of retail sales to pay for the removal and/or extermination of the zombies. In return, the owners, the Hinman Company, will spend between $10 Million to $12 million to both renovate the mall and add zombie traps. DuPage Township will offer free burials or cremations to the resident zombies.

Trustee Troy Doris personally delivered the eviction notice to the zombies. According to eyewitnesses, Doris cautiously entered one of the abandoned storefronts when out of sight of an anti-zombie SWAT team. Less than a minute later, Doris leaped out of the building and dashed back to the SWAT Team in the parking lot. Once safe, Doris showed a cell phone video to an attorney of him serving the notice to a zombie.

An eyewitness who wished to remain anonymous said: “Troy stated it was an eviction notice. Then he threw it at the zombie and ran away. The lawyer said it looked like the notice stuck to the zombie, therefore it was legally served.”

Lawyer Patricia X. Blake, who claims to represent the zombies, announced that she will challenge the eviction notice: “My clients are decent undead residents of Bolingbrook. They are not revenants, like The Crow, and they are not spreading a zombie plague. Mayor Basta’s obsession to best (former Mayor Roger) Claar has gone too far. She’s brought garbage toters to our yards. She’s allowed cannabis businesses to apply for business licenses, and now she wants to be known as the mayor who fixed Bolingbrook Commons. Well, not over my clients’ animated dead bodies!”

Alexander-Basta could not be reached for comment.

A receptionist for DuPage Township said Supervisor Gary Marschke was in a meeting and could not be disturbed.

In the background, a man who sounded like Marschke, said: “I find it quite odd that ComEd suddenly informed us that we’ve had an outstanding bill for over ten years. Since my administration has been paying our monthly bill, ComEd has had our billing address. Now we got them to waive the late fee, but the bill is still close to $1000. It’s almost as if someone hacked into ComEd and created a fake bill. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you Charlene ?”

A woman who sounded like covert social media operative Charlene Spencer replied, “Maybe.” 

Also in the Babbler:

Editorial: We need more than thoughts and prayers
Resident arrested after hitting UFO with an illegal firework
Man hospitalized after biting weredog
God to smite Bolingbrook on 7/9/22

Note:  This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer.  

My novel, The Rift: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story, is available for preorder. For book updates and a free ebook, sign up for my newsletter.

To life! (Non-fiction)

I didn’t attend the Fourth of July Highland Park parade and had no plans to attend. I did have friends and members of my humanist congregation who attended. Fortunately, none of them were injured during the shooting. Six people were killed, and 31 were wounded. I’m sad about the deaths and injuries, as well as shocked that I could have lost friends in an instant. And the reason could be that the shooter did it for the lolz.

Honestly, I’m still kind of processing it all. It’s one thing when shootings like this happen far away. It’s another when a neighboring community becomes a war zone.

I’ve been thinking about a scene in one of my planned books. In it, the main character says mourning and remembering the dead is important, but that it is also important to live your life and make the most of the time you have. That scene now has a new meaning for me. L’chaim!

Female Illuminati members stage walk-out following overturning of Roe v. Wade (Fiction)

Friday, several female members of the Illuminati walked out of the Bolingbrook Golf Club to protest the Supreme Court’s decision abolishing the right to abortion. The walkout occurred during a ritual performed by anti-abortion male members.

“You can’t have global chaos without freedom of choice,” said one member who asked not to be identified. “If we give government the power to control our bodies, we might as well surrender to the New World Order.”

Laura, the Illuminati Chaplin of North America, said: “This is a major step backwards in the fight for true freedom. If our wombs are not fee, then we are not free.”

Sapphire, an Illuminati Knight of Chaos, added: “Forced pregnancies only help the New World Order by controlling our bodies. We are not fighting the NWO just to create our own order! Chaos means freedom. All who oppose the right to abortion should be purged from the Illuminati.”

The dispute started shortly after Master Councilor George announced the supreme court’s decision. He claimed the Illuminati influenced the court and told the gathering to join him in celebrating the chaos that will be created by the birth of “millions of unwanted babies!”

This prompted Illuminati member Rep. Marie Newman to stand up and yell: “This is not how you create chaos. This is how you create (expletive deleted). I can’t stand the smell of (expletive). Let’s step outside and choose to breathe fresh air!”

Fellow Illuminati member Jeanne Ives also stood up. She said: “I could lie about this, but I won’t. This is the wrong time to repeal Roe. We still have an election to seize. Everyone knows that you campaign on repealing Roe, not on actually doing it. We were doing great at restricting abortion access until you made the Supreme Court ruin everything. Now abortion will be an issue in every single election—Even the township elections. Not to mention that the New World Order will have a chance to ratify the Equal Rights Amendment. Then what? The Supreme Court declares the Constitution unconstitutional? I’m sorry, but for once I’m going to stand with my sisters and join them outside.”

Bolingbrook Mayor Mary Alexander-Basta did not join the walkout, nor did she participate in the Rite of a Thousand Cries. Alexander-Basta ordered the Village Trustees not to participate either.

“Not one word from any of you,” Basta said. “I’ve spent too much time building an apolitical reputation with everyone but Bonnie. I won’t have it ruined by the Supreme Court. For now, the ‘A’ word is not in our vocabulary!”

After performing the rite, George said female Illuminati members were overreacting. He arose and stated: “Every child bearing member will still be able to get an abortion, paid for by the order. That makes them special. Don’t you want to be special?” George added that the Supreme Court’s decision will help spark a second civil war in the United States. “State governments won’t be enforcing abortion bans because they’ll be caught in the crossfire between militias. That’s why we made the Court expand the Second Amendment. Come on, you didn’t really believe I was ‘pro-life,’ did ya?”

A receptionist for Alexander-Basta said she was busy dealing with the aftermath of the WeatherTech shooting and could not be disturbed. 

In the background, a man who sounded like Trustee Sheldon Watts, said: “You know, Charlene, all the anger and tragedy this week has helped me to put things in prospective.”

A woman who sounded like covert social media operative Charlene Spencer replied: “Me too. That’s why I’m getting my tubes tied, securing an Icelandic passport, and doubling my efforts to troll the DuPage Township into oblivion. I don’t know how much time I’ll have before the Court declares women’s rights unconstitutional.”

Also in the Babbler:

Editorial: The bell tolls for Bolingbrook
Weredeer unfortunately celebrate repeal of Roe
Abortion is still legal at Clow UFO Base
God to spare Bolingbrook this week

Note: This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer.  

My novel, The Rift: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story, is available for preorder. For book updates and a free ebook, sign up for my newsletter.

Excerpt from The Rift: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story

The Rift: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story releases on July 13, 2022.

Here’s a short excerpt from The Rift: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story:

“Let’s talk about the stable boy and the rock,” said Michelle, sitting down with Tom on the couch. “As I recall, there was a little boy who was brought to a dragon’s lair.”

“Dogma the dragon.” Tom pointed to the dragon in the picture, who sat atop a pile of rulebooks.

Michelle nodded. “He looks scary. Good job.” Tom smiled. “Now, the boy was scared, but he was also thirsty. So he asked the dragon for a cup of water. Dogma said no, and told the boy if he was thirsty, he could squeeze water out of a rock. So the boy squeezed and squeezed, but no water came out. Dogma told the boy that if he believed, it would. So the boy squeezed and squeezed and believed and believed. Still, no water came out.”

“Until the knight of truth appeared and chased Dogma away.”

Michelle nodded, picking up another of Tom’s drawings, which showed a knight holding a glowing sword. “You drew that very well.”

“Thanks,” Tom replied.

“So the knight told the boy there was no water in the rock, and the boy rued his foolishness.”

“I don’t want to be foolish.”

Jason sat down with them. “Neither did the boy. He vowed to slay all the dragons of deception and asked the knight of truth to teach him how to vanquish them. The knight took him under his wing. The boy studied and trained for a long time, till one day he became a knight of truth himself, and he was never fooled again.”

Michelle frowned. “That’s your dad’s version.”

“It’s the best version. Don’t you agree, Tom?” Tom nodded vigorously. “Good. Because a very special movie just arrived.” Jason picked up what looked like a CD. Tom’s jaw dropped as he remembered the giant LaserDiscs his grandparents still owned. “It’s about a wise old man who fights dogma,” Jason continued.

“With a sword?”

“With magic.”

Jason stood up and inserted the disc into the DVD player, then joined Michelle and Tom back on the couch. He placed an arm around Tom’s shoulders and pressed play. On-screen, a magician with thick, professionally styled hair and a neatly trimmed snowy white beard appeared behind a desk.

“You know what the best part is?”

Tom shook his head.

“He’s real.”

You can preorder the eBook for $.99 at Amazon and other retailers. Otherwise, the release date is July 13, 2022.

Clow UFO Base bans ‘Sea Shanty Melody’ while Sherman UFO Base creates ‘Shanty Zones’ (Fiction)

By Reporter X

Bolingbrook’s Clow UFO Base officially banned performances of the “Sea Shanty Melody” while Palatine’s Rob Sherman UFO Base created “SSM” zones to accommodate the dancing performers.

Bolingbrook Mayor Mary Alexander-Basta released a statement that read: “It’s been over a year since the Sea Shanty Meme started. During that time, security has had to break up numerous fights over that song.  Some of our visitors are treating it like a religion, rather than a silly melody. Enough! I don’t care if the ship is called Billy OT or Billy O’Tea.  I don’t care if you do one kick or two. I don’t care if you think the Santiana is really a hovercraft flying over Mexico. I don’t care! We just want peace and quiet on our base. We can’t stand hearing the song daily!”

Clow officials later clarified that Clow’s bars would continue to serve Wellermans, a mixed drink of rum, tea, and sugar.

After the announcement of Clow’s ban, Palatine Village Manager Reid Ottesen announced to the interstellar news media that Sherman will designate areas where aliens could perform and record their performances.

“Some could argue this is a cynical attempt to draw traffic away from Clow,” said Ottesen. “That couldn’t be further from the truth. I think that if Palatine can allow video gambling, we can allow performances of this sea song. Who knows? Maybe we can find a way to combine them?”

Some aliens at Clow tried to protest the ban by performing to the melody but were quickly arrested. A lawyer for the protesters insisted the ban violated the Treaty of the Bermuda Triangle and vowed to have it overturned.

The lawyer also told alien reporters: “I will say that my clients appreciate being asked nicely by security to surrender before perfunctorily being sprayed with riot foam. The previous administrator of Clow would have sprayed them without any warning.”

Zeego, a resident of the Galactic Core Worlds, said she will be visiting Sherman because they are accommodating sea shanty dancers. 

“Weathermen on Earth have such a difficult job. I hope my dance lifts their spirits.”

Pozogot, who did not disclose his planet, supports Clow’s ban. “My best Earthling friend was a whale, and she was murdered in your 19th Century by those whalers. She could have been the Whale Bob Dylan, but she was murdered and turned into lamp oil!”

When reached for comment, Ottesen replied: “Your questions about UFOs make me laugh. After managing Palatine through riots and a pandemic, I could always use a laugh.”

A receptionist for Alexander-Basta said she was unavailable.

“We kind of have a situation here. Steve Bannon is in the lobby and we can’t get him to leave.”

In the background, a person who sounded like Bannon said, “Marie, when I said, “Flood the zone with (expletive deleted),” I didn’t mean that literally!”

Also in the Babbler:

Mayor Alexander-Basta to declare a ‘crypto holiday’ in Bolingbrook
First off-world alien votes arrive in Cook and Will counties
Aliens offer condolences to Rep. Casten following the death of his eldest daughter
God will not smite Bolingbrook this week

Note:  This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer.  

My novel, The Rift: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story, is available for preorder. For book updates and a free ebook, sign up for my newsletter.

The Rift gets a five star review! (Non-Fiction)

What if everything you believed was wrong?

While it doesn’t make up for losing Callie, my novel, The Rift, received a five-star review from The Wishing Shelf, calling it, “A richly written novel filled with memorable characters. Highly recommended!”

In many ways, it’s very hard to put a label on this book. Yes, it has fantasy elements. But it also looks at feminism, activists, and even fundamentalism. And, on top of all that, it’s often rather funny too! The author, Mr. Brinkman, is a talented fellow who knows how to tell a story, develop his characters in interesting ways, and generally keep everything moving – with plenty of twists to keep the reader off kilter. So, although it’s very hard to classify this novel, it is thoroughly enjoyable and very, VERY hard to put down.

So, what’s the plot? Well, in a nutshell, the protagonist, Tom, is a strong supporter of the skeptical movement. When there’s a modern feminist conference, he plans to infiltrate it and confront a podcaster who accused him of making her feel ́uncomfortable ́. And it ́s at this conference that the fun begins!!!

Reading this novel, I was reminded of a saying my dad told me when I was much younger. “People,” he told me, “always hear what they want to hear.” In many ways, this is what this book is about. How people today tend to focus on the words and not the intent behind the words. I don’t know if the author is an anti-feminist, but I do know his novel – in terms of the way men and women interact – is rather thought-provoking.

So, if you are looking for a commentary on human nature, plus you enjoy a good laugh, PLUS, on top of all that, you fancy a story filled with a few weredeer and time rifts, this book is for you. I saw in the blurb, it says, ́If you like the X-Files and Stranger Things and the dry humour of Fargo, you will love The Rift. ́ I think I can go along with that.

To clarify, I’m not perfect, but I do consider myself a feminist, and I am willing and still learning. The main character, Tom, has to reconsider his anti-feminist views, including facing the real reasons why he feels the ways he does.

Still, I will take a five-star review, and read and listen to what other reviewers will have to say about it.