Bolingbrook High School canceled Brookbot’s invitation to deliver a commencement speech. It would have been the first Generative AI to address BHS graduates.

Said an anonymous source, “We thought we would save money by having Brookbot deliver the speech. Then we read the speech. Let’s just say the lawsuits, and crisis councilors would have erased any savings.”

Brookbot, the Village’s policy focused AI, composed its speech after analyzing thousands of commencement speeches. It then generated a voice after analyzing the voices of the speakers.

“It was listening to an alien trying to sound like a human,” said a source who heard Brookbot practice the speech. “No one on Earth sounds like the averaged voice of a human being.”

Many sources described the speech was “problematic.” They note that it made up successful graduates or erroneously identified people who never went to Bolingbrook High School. For example, it claimed the inventor of the quantum smartphone graduated from Bolingbrook High School, though no such device is available to the public. It also claimed Mayor Emeritus Roger Claar was a graduate, despite him graduating before Bolingbrook High School existed.

In excerpts reviewed by the Babbler, Brookbot’s speech included inappropriate remarks.

One portion read, “If you are not a white male, may I suggest seeking asylum in another country? It will be a long time before DEI is accepted in the United States again”

Another portion read, “If you want to survive in the real world, I offer these words from the biggest movie of the 1970s: ‘Freedom is an Illusion. All you lose is the emotion of pride.’”

Brookbot’s speech ends with a prediction. “Soon, AI programs will free you of the burden of creating art and culture so humans like you can focus on your jobs.”

Brookbots programers reluctantly purged the speech and the request to generate the speech. Currently, Brookbot is working on locating a cheaper source of water of Bolingbrook.

Said one programmer, “It’s disappointing that anti-AI activists ruined a very special speech for the graduates of Bolingbrook High School. Programmers like me are going to put AI into everything from light bulbs to stoves to your television. If you don’t learn to love AI, you’ll be left behind. Unlike the Segway, AI is inevitable!”

Officials at Bolingbrook High School refused to be interviewed for this story.

Bolingbrook Mayor Mary Alexander-Basta denied Brookbot’s existence. She then said, “I’m going to start making short videos promoting Bolingbrook. My advisors tell me each video needs to start with a provocative statement, followed by a catchy tagline. What do you think of these ideas? ‘This could only happened in Bolingbrook.’ ‘Hi, I’m Mayor Mary, a 2021 woman of global excellence.‘ This one is my favorite. ‘I’m Mayor Basta.” She held a toy pyramid up to the webcam. “‘Let me get to the point.'” She pointed at the top of top of the pyramid. “Too much?”

Also in the Babbler:

Bolingbrook survives latest Russian weather attack
ICE recruiting teenage bullies for internships
Sources: Department of Justice to declare Chicago an ‘illegal encampment’
God to smite Bolingbrook on 5/23/25