Busy Week (Non-fiction)

Not sure if I’ll get a story in this week. I’m prepping for an interview and workshop, and, hopefully, I’ll hear back from one of the places I’ve interviewed at.

The new novel is coming along. At this point, I’m thinking that I’ll finish the first draft next year, but I could surprise myself. Right now, I’m working on a scene that takes place at Navy Pier Grand Ballroom. I’ve been there once for an awards ceremony. It was part of the original Pier, and quite a contrast from the strip mall on the lake.

In the meantime, if you subscribe to my monthly newsletter, you’ll get a free copy of God to Smite Bolingbrook, a collection of my pre-Freethought Blogs stories. This eBook is only available through my newsletter. Plus I’ll have a couple of special announcements in next month’s edition.

If I don’t post again this week, I should have story up by next week.  Maybe Brookbot will return…

 

Web Exclusive: Bolingbrook Bears? (Fiction)

Bolingbrook may have joined Arlington Heights, Naperville, and Waukegan to be the new home of the Bears.

According to anonymous sources with relatives who have friends that each have a connection to the Village of Bolingbrook, the village submitted an “extensive proposal” to the team. The alleged proposal includes:

  • “Supporting” the construction of a $2 Billion stadium to be built under the Bolingbrook Golf Club.
  • $3 Billion in property tax credits.
  • Provide “subsidies” to build an extensive tunnel network.
  • Free Americana Estates lots for players and management to build “high end housing.”
  • All local elected officials swearing an oath to only make positive statements about the team.

One anonymous source defended the proposal. “This is a win for everyone. The Bears get a state-of-the-art stadium. The property values for Americana Estates will skyrocket, which means the village will make money when they sell their lots and when they collect property taxes! The big spenders can take the elevator to the Bolingbrook Golf Club. The residents won’t have to deal with football traffic. Local businesses won’t be overwhelmed with fans. It might even be profitable someday. Just like the Golf Club will be in the future!”

Not all residents are impressed with the plan. Peter X. Lott, a spokesperson for Bolingbrook’s Art Bell Party, says the plan is irresponsible.

“Everyone knows they built Bolingbrook over the remains of a pre-Ice Age metropolis. One careless dig is all it would take to turn our wonderful community into a sinkhole!”

A source connected to the Bears doubts they will select Bolingbrook. “Honestly, we’re just trying to scare all the taxing bodies in Arlington Heights. They assumed we committed to them after buying Arlington Park for $197.2 million. But we’re used to losing millions drafting and trading for worthless players. So if they want a chance at any of our money, they’re going to let us sack them!”

Mayor Mary Alexander-Basta denied the village was lobbying the Bears to move to Bolingbrook. “Stadium deals aren’t worth it. There are better ways to help Bolingbrook. Like celebrating the refurbishing of Bolingbrook Commons!”

In the background, a man who sounded like Trustee Michael Carpanzano said, “We should start using BrookBot to make important decisions. It’ll make us look like a community of the future.”

“I don’t know,” said a woman who sounded like covert social media operative Charlene Spencer. “BrookBot. A bus picks up three passengers. At the next stop, one passenger leaves, and five get on. At the next stop, four passengers leave and one gets on. At the next stop, two leave, and one gets on. How many stops did the bus make?”

A digital voice replied, “42!”

Note: This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer. 

Want to support my creative work? Check out my Urban Fantasy series, the Bolingbrook Babbler Stories. Subscribe to my newsletter to get free eBook, God to Smite Bolingbrook. You can also buy me a coffee.

God to Smite Bolingbrook is out and it’s free! (Non-Fiction)

After promising to make a collection of my pre-Freethought Blog Babbler articles, I finally got around to it. God to Smite Bolingbrook is a collection of some of my favorite stories from 1998 to 2016. It includes my first Babbler article from 1998, and other fun stories. Ever wondered what a reboot of Phil Plait’s Bad Universe TV show for an interstellar audience would be like? Or if creationists took a stab at mathematics? Or what AtheistTV could have become with the right programing director? Now you can! God to Smite Bolingbrook is a trip down memory lane for long time readers, and an opportunity to learn about the evolution of the Babbler stories, and setting.

If that’s not enough, it also includes an excerpt from my novel, The Rift. You’ll get the prologue and the first chapters.

So, how much for this eBook? If you subscribe to my author newsletter, you’ll get God to Smite Bolingbrook for free. If you decide to remain a subscriber, you’ll get updates about my books and other projects at least once a month. Subscribers will also be the first to know about any special deals. I hope you’ll check it out.

Now back to writing Revenge of the Phantom Press.

Cover of God to Smite Bolingbrook

God to Smite Bolingbrook: Best of the Babbler 1998 to 2016.

Mayor Alexander-Basta lays wreath at the Bolingbrook Time War Memorial (Fiction)

Bolingbrook Mary Alexander-Basta laid a wreath at the Time War Memorial to honor those who died before the Men in Blue erased the invaders from the timeline. Some of the formally deceased watched the ceremony.

The Bolingbrook Time War occurred in 1984 when a military force from the year 3000 appeared and attacked Bolingbrook. Despite facing a force with far superior technology, the Village of Bolingbrook repelled the invasion. After a Martian Colonial gunship delayed the invaders, then Mayor Ed Rosenthal sent a team of Men in Blue were sent to the future to destroy their time machine prototype. The MiB succeeded, and time 

“I still get a weird feeling attending my memorial,” said Jessie X. Armstrong, who was a police officer. “Still, it beats being a ghost. It’s more like I got a second chance at life.”

Alexander-Basta delivered a short speech after the ceremony, praising them for their “temporary inconvenience.”

“Some of you willingly made the ultimate sacrifice. Some of you were caught off guard. But thanks to all of you, Bolingbrook’s residents can enjoy our newest eatery, Afternoon!”

After reading a poem composed by the village’s secret AI, BrookBot, she looked down at her phone, then smiled. “Florida just banned the poem I just recited. That means it must be good.”

She concluded her speech by saying, “Twitter users want to know how to win a time war. The answer is in front of me. All of you are the reason Bolingbrook won the time war.”

After her speech, a veteran recited Mark Twain’s “War Prayer,” then walked offstage.

Also in the Babbler:

Village rejects Trump’s ultimatum to move the Golf Club closer to O’Hare Airport.
Editorial: Good bye Turkish Democracy
Canadian billionaire offers to buy Bolingbrook for $1 million
God to spare Bolingbrook during Memorial Day week

Note: This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer. 

Want to support my creative work? Check out my Urban Fantasy series, the Bolingbrook Babbler Stories.  You can also buy me a coffee.

Quick life/author update (Non-fiction)

It’s been very busy around here. My wife is dealing with a medical issue and that’s why I didn’t post a story this week. We’re hoping she’ll get some relief next week, if not sooner. (I’m hoping for sooner.) I’m still job hunting, but just met with a new career counselor, and I’m feeling optimistic.

I’m still making progress on the book writing front. My current work in progress, Revenge of the Phantom Press, is coming together. I’m making enough progress that I hope to have a rough draft ready this year. I’m not sure how long beta reading and editing will take, but I think I have a good shot at getting it out next year. I’ve been teasing some of it on TikTok. Right now, it’s going to be a longer novel than The Rift, and takes place during Bolingbrook’s 50th anniversary celebrations. Of course, something sinister is going on in the shadows. If you subscribe to my author newsletter, you can catch my email about a new setting in the book, Little Bolingbrook.

In other author news, I shutdown my online store for now. I might create a new version in the future, but right now is not the time for it. You can still get the books at Amazon, online vendors, and most libraries apps, like Libby.

Hopefully, I’ll be back to regular posting on Monday.

 

Bolingbrook readies its own currency (Fiction)

With the US Government weeks away from a possible debt default, the Village is working on own currency.

One source, who wished to remain anonymous, said, “No one should question the full faith and credit of the Village of Bolingbrook.”

Should the US Government default on its debt, The Village of Bolingbrook will allow its residents to exchange their dollars for Brook Bucks, the current name for the currency. Local businesses will be expected to accept Brook Bucks. It is hoped, however, that businesses outside of Bolingbrook will accept Brook Bucks as legal tender.

According to the sources, Village officials believe Brook Bucks will be seen as a safe haven against hyper inflation, soaring US interest rates, and a general global economic meltdown.

In designs leaked to the Babbler, Brook Bucks will be a decibel based currency. The one Brook Buck bill will be called the Roger, after former Mayor Roger Claar. The five Brook Buck bill will be called the Bailey, after former Mayor Robert Bailey. The ten Brook Buck bill will be called the Carp, after current Village Trustee Michael Carpanzano. The 20 and 50 Brook Buck bills will be named after Claar’s daughter and granddaughter. The 100 Brook Buck bill will be called the Rosie, after former Mayor Edward Rosenthal. The two Brook Buck bill will be called the Mary, after the current mayor Mary Alexander-Basta. According to the sources, the coins are still being designed, but the .005 coin will be called the Watts, after outgoing Village Trustee Sheldon Watts.

Said another anonymous source, “The village has a lot of bond debts, but we’re making our payments. We also have a global reputation for excellence. Which means we could become the standard currency for global trade. Instead of buying oil in dollars, countries would buy it in Rogers!”

President Joe Biden’s secretary said he was busy and would call back when sensible people run the Republican Party. In the background, a man who sounded like Biden said, “Here’s the deal. We’ll mint a $2 Trillion platinum coin with an engraved image of Donald Trump. The Republicans will be too afraid of offending Donald to stop us.”

A receptionist for Alexander-Basta said she was busy and couldn’t be disturbed. In the background, a woman who sounded like Alexander-Basta said, “And who will redesign the cover?”

A man replied, “We’ll have the good folks at Fiverr—” An alarm sounded. The man chuckled. “Did I say Fiverr? I mean, the fine folks at Miblart will redesign your cover.”

“Fiverr’s sponsorship ran out, didn’t it?”

Also in the Babbler:

Twenty aliens arrested for conspiring to abduct King Charles III
Russian weather attack confuses Chicagoland residents
Bolingbrook and Township abolitionists clash outside Levy Center.
God to smite Bolingbrook on 5/12/23

Even slime doesn’t last (Non-fiction)

As PZ mentioned, the Slymepit, a relic from Elevatorgate, gave up the ghost. Before Gamergate, they were pioneering crowdsourced harassment and disinformation. Their targets included Rebecca Watson, PZ, Surly Amy, and too many other advocating social justice within atheist and skeptical organizations. That included the organizers of Atheism+, an attempt to form a progressive secular organization. Slympitters twisted the term “Atheism+” in the same way Republicans twisted the term “Woke” today.

According to RationalWiki, the Slymepit moved on to other targets after Elevatorgate:

In 2020, the Slymepit raged against vaccination and in support of the Taliban. In 2022, the Slymepit enthusiastically supports Vladimir Putin and his attack on Ukraine, heaping praise on the “denazification” goals of the attack, and mocking the suffering of the Ukrainian people. Commonly posted memes compare Ukrainian women and children, including infants, to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, mocking both for their fears of sexual assault while excusing or even glorifying the assailants, openly praising the equivalences between the two groups. It is almost as bad as before 2020, when posters to the Slymepit explicitly endorsed misogyny, slavery, Richard Dawkins, and genocide.

They only noticed me once, and that was before I joined FTB. They didn’t know what to make of a Babbler psychic prediction that one of their members would convert to Catholicism, promptly get excommunicated, and ending up sending 95 tweets to the Pope. They decided to move on instead of bothering me. It’s probably just as well that they never noticed my first novel, The Rift: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story. The character Marty would have loved posting there. I’m also sure Trevor would have been a guest on a certain someone’s YouTube channel.

Unfortunately, the bigotry behind the Slymepit lives on through Trumpism, groups like the Proud Boys, and the transgender panic. There will also be atheists who will choose to work with oppressors rather than similar marginalized groups. Their only concern with Christian Nationalism is the “Christian” part.

There will also be atheists that strive to create positive changes. Even the American Humanist Association and American Atheists have tried to become more diverse organizations. Anti-harassment policies are the norm now. The Slymepit caused real harm to progressive atheists, but it didn’t kill the ideas.

The fight for social justice in the world is far from over. But, for now, I’ll enjoy knowing that Freethought Blogs is still around while the Slymepit is history.

Atheist ‘missionaries’ arrive to ‘help’ DuPage Township residents (Fiction)

Members of the Freedom From Religion claim they are in DuPage Township not to de-convert residents, but to provide “humanitarian aid.”

Head ‘missionary’ Ron X. McPatrick explained, “Once again, religious strife is tearing DuPage Township apart. We couldn’t standby and watch innocent victims suffer while religious wage a war of attrition against the democratically elected board. As members of the FFRF, and fans of Freethought Blogs, we’re on a mission!”

Several residents claim the “missionaries” visited them.

Janet, who refused to provide her last name, said they surprised her with groceries.

“They must have heard I have a hard time going to the township food bank. That place isn’t accessible. So imagine my surprise when they arrived at my front door with boxes of food, medicine, and other necessities. Those fine people spent hours packing these care boxes in Wisconsin and delivered to me. They could have supported our local businesses by shopping here, but I’m not complaining. They didn’t ask me for anything. Well, they ask me to stop going to church, but I’ll forgive them.”

Steve, another township resident, claims the “missionaries” worked on his yard. “With this weird weather, I wasn’t sure what to do with the yard. Then these young people offered to work on my yard for free. It was great, though one of them insisted I read PZ Myers’s blog. Let’s just say I learned a lot about terrible religious and atheist leaders. Oh, and I love spiders now.”

David, a “missionary” from the United Kingdom, described getting attacked while delivering aid boxes:

“This woman drove up to me and yelled that I was giving a family too much food. I asked if she was serious. She said yes and ranted about the evils of building a food pantry in Bolingbrook. I tried to walk away, but she followed me, and said I should accept Jesus Christ because there is a God. I told her there is no God, but there is a Richard Dawkins, and that she was insignificant in his eyes. That must have smarted because she replied, ‘Jesus loves you.’ I told her, ‘I know what that means. Same to you.’”

When asked what they meant by “war” in DuPage Township, they all claimed the answer was obvious, but didn’t provide specific examples.

A representative for the FFRF denied sending anyone to DuPage Township, denied responsibility for the missionaries’ actions.

A statement from Americans against DuPage Township read, “Sure, one of our supporters called (Township Trustee Reem Townsend) a ‘suicide bomber,’. But if DuPage Township didn’t exist, there wouldn’t have been an annual meeting and he wouldn’t have insulted her! Checkmate townshipper.”

When asked to comment about the “missionaries,” Supervisor Gary Marschke replied, “They’re welcome to help our residents, but don’t call our township a war zone.”

Also in the Babbler:

Time traveler praises The Marvels movie
Russian weather machine targets Bolingbrook again
Bolingbrook mayor survives diamond storm on during interstellar goodwill tour
God to smite Bolingbrook on 4/18/23

Note: This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer. 

Want to support my creative work? Check out my Urban Fantasy series, the Bolingbrook Babbler Stories. You can also buy me a coffee.

The title of my work in progress (Non-Fiction)

I’m working on my next novel, which is the sequel to The Rift: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story. While I discarded an earlier draft, I feel like I’m back on track with this draft. I’ve also settled on the title.

The next Bolingbrook Babbler book is… Revenge of the Phantom Press: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story.

Tom is back as the main character, and it’s set over a year after the events in The Rift.

On the eve of Bolingbrook’s 50 anniversary, the Phantom Press, the Babbler’s long lost rival publication, reappears. The Babbler is one of the first targets for the twisted spirit’s quest for revenge.

Risking his career and possibly his life, Tom sets out to investigate their return. With the help of a woman from his past, and Anti-Psychic Kitty, Tom attempts to unravel the Phantom Press’ mysterious return.

Tom soon realizes that the ghosts of the Phantom Press could be part of something far more powerful and dangerous. Something that could upend the global balance of power. Can Tom uncover the truth before Bolingbrook’s 50th anniversary becomes its last?

No release date yet. Possibly 2024. Maybe this year, provided I’m able to get it fully vetted and edited. I’ll keep everyone updated. 🙂

Kobo Plus comes to the UK and the US! (Non-fiction)

Kobo, a Canada-based eBook and audiobook retailer, just opened their subscription service, Kobo Plus, to the US and UK market. Like Amazon’s Kindle Unlimited service, a user pays for a monthly subscription and gets unlimited access to eBooks and audiobooks. From their blog post:

The Kobo Plus catalogue is ever-growing, with more titles being added to the collection each month. The service has three budget-friendly subscription plan offers:

  • Kobo Plus Read: Unlimited eBooks for $7.99 USD or €9,99 GBP per month
  • Kobo Plus Listen: Unlimited audiobooks for $7.99 USD or €9,99 GBP per month
  • Kobo Plus Read and Listen: Unlimited eBooks and audiobooks for $9.99 USD or €12,99 GBP per month

The Kobo Plus subscription is an ideal way to approach a bucket list of literary classics, an entire author’s catalogue, or to dive into a new field of interest. With unlimited reading for one low monthly fee, the subscription lets readers sample a few pages from a genre or author they have never read, and move on to another book guilt-free if it’s not to their taste. It’s an ideal option for avid booklovers who can tear through several books a month, and for those who prefer to read a few chapters before committing. There’s never been a better time to discover new authors and series on a Kobo eReader or with the free Kobo reading app.

This is a great development for independent publishers too. Before, UK and US indie publishers had to choose between only distributing their eBooks only through Amazon, or opt out of KU to sell each eBook individually through Amazon and other retailers (Known “Wide Distribution”). Since Kobo Plus doesn’t have an exclusivity requirement, indie authors can now enjoy the benefits of distribution through a subscription service and wide distribution. The payment for authors on Kobo Plus is about the same as KU’s payment.

My books are already on Kobo Plus. So you can bing my books, move on another author, and not have to feed the Amazon machine. Any competition for Amazon is good news for all readers.

Disclaimer: These are not affiliate links, nor am I being paid by Rakuten Kobo beyond normal book sales.