We get letters. (Unfortunately) April 2022 edition (Fiction)

By Doug Fields
Reader’s Editor

(Out of character: Unless stated otherwise, these are not real letters.)

Sometimes I’m proud to say that I edit the Babbler’s letters to the editor. This is not one of those times. Maybe it’s all the readers with COVID dementia, or maybe the past five years have brought out the worst in us. No difference. These letters make me question the future of humanity. Judge for yourself.

While most Bolingbrook residents stand with the Ukrainian people against the Russian invasion, this reader just has to be special:

To the Editor:

The New York Times says Ukraine doesn’t have a Nazi problem. This is the same newspaper that published a Hitler editorial in 1941! Therefore Vladimir Putin is right. Let’s stop punishing Russia and start supporting Putin’s special military operation to rid the world of Nazis once and for all!

Julie X. Weimar
Bolingbrook, IL

Someone better warn Malcolm Nance before it’s too late.

Our descent into the abyss continues with this letter. This reader doesn’t know that Bolingbrook isn’t in the Sixth Congressional District. Then again, incumbent Congressional Representative Marie Newman doesn’t live there either. 

To the Editor:

Days ago, Fake IL06 representative Sean Casten said the public was going to “level” Rep. Marie Newman and insurrectionist President Trump was still free. Yet the so-called ethics committee is investigating Newman instead of those two. How outrageous!.

Don’t let the media confuse you. Newman is running on the Green New Deal and Medicare for All. That’s all you need to know. Oh, and she’s not afraid to vote against Israel! 

Newman shouldn’t be forced to violate her crypto agreement and she shouldn’t be stopped from investing in America. She shouldn’t be stopped period. Don’t let anyone tell you to think about it. Just vote for Newman and she’ll do the rest!

Bill Z. Blankenship
Downers Grove, IL

I’m not sorry to say that anyone who invested in cryptocurrencies shouldn’t be considered an environmentalist. 

Locally, this next resident wants a certain book banned. 

To the Editor:

We must prevent the most woke novel in history from reaching Bolingbrook! The Rift promises to be a story about aliens and monsters set in our fine village. Don’t be fooled! It has trans people and feminists in it! The author says it’s not marketed to children, but why does it have a gay magician in it? It also has suspicious references to elevators…

We must do everything in our power to stop the woke mob from canceling us by banning this book! Our freedom depends on it! Scream about it at every government meeting. Don’t worry about what to say. Have faith that God will put the right words in your mouth.

Jill “I have a gun and that’s all you need to know,”
Bolingbrook, IL

The novel mentioned is The Rift: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story, written by our webmaster. Let me assure you it is not pornographic, and probably will tick off a certain slimy part of the atheist community.

Now, this next resident is taking the suburban cancel culture scare to its logical conclusion:

To the Editor:

You know, there are so many positive things going on in Bolingbrook, like the opening of Eiffel Waffle. But there are too many “critical” distractions that are dividing our wonderful community, e.g. things like Critical Race Theory, Gender Critical Feminism, and scientific criticism. 

The solution to this critical problem is simple: We must ban critical thinking in Bolingbrook. Instead of arguing over garbage toters, golf clubs, and COVID restrictions, we should shut out the negativity, and just enjoy all the fine businesses in Bolingbrook. Free your mind, and just follow the wonderful thought leaders who make our village first! In the First Party, we trust!

Marcus T. Fish
Bolingbrook, IL

I enjoy thinking for myself, while being grounded in the real world, thank you very much. People who want to think for you shouldn’t. 

Maybe next time I’ll be able to feature letters that don’t fill me with despair.

Also in the Babbler:

Russia threatens heatwave and snowstorms this weekend
Downstate judge threatens to declare atheism unconstitutional
Governor Pritzker buys UFO display ads attacking Mayor Irvin
God to smite Bolingbrook on 4/21/22

Note: This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer.  

My new novel, The Rift: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story, is coming out soon. Pathways to Bolingbrook: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story is free and available now. For book updates, sign up for my newsletter.

The next steps on my self-publishing journey (Non-fiction)

Into the Pathway Village!

I had a productive week as a self-publisher. My short story collection, Pathways to Bolingbrook, is free and available at Amazon, Kobo, and other retailers. If you want to copy, the link will let you select your preferred eBook retailer. While it might have been easier to distribute only with Amazon, I don’t want to be trapped in their ecosystem. 

Pathways is a short introduction to two characters, Miriam and Sara, who have important roles in my upcoming series. It already has some reviews:

“William Brinkman’s Pathways to Bolingbrook is such a delicious tease of fantasy, paranormal, and science fiction.”

“A compelling, fun (in a dark, mysterious way…) introduction to the mysteries of Bolingbrook! (…) Looking forward to the next installment!”

The next installment, The Rift, is still on track for release this year. I’ll set the release date once I’m finally finished editing it. Hopefully soon, but I won’t rush it.

I’m also close to assembling a collection of Babbler stories from before I started at Freethought Blogs. Working title is UFOs over Bolingbrook. More details about that one later.

Now back to the redlines!

—

My new novel, The Rift: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story, is coming out soon. Pathways to Bolingbrook: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story is free and available now. For book updates, sign up for my newsletter.

Podish-Sortacast for Saturday: The future of blogging (Non-fiction)

This Saturday’s Podish-Sortacast is about the future of blogging. I recorded a clip since I’ll be busy this weekend. Basically, I think social media replaced diary-style blogs, but blogs that focus on certain subjects, and blog networks with a theme are doing fine. Many popular how-to articles are blog posts. I’ve lost count of how many articles I’ve read urging self-publishers to start a blog. Many local businesses have blogs to encourage their customers to return to their sites.

While the Internet keeps evolving, I expect blogs to keep evolving with it for the foreseeable future.

The new blurb for The Rift: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story

The truth is unbelievable. The deception is destructive. Can Tom find the right path before it’s too late?

My debut novel, The Rift: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story, is still on track to be released this year. Just needs a bit more editing before it’s ready for wide release.

In the meantime, here’s the new blurb:

Tom Larsen grew up believing in stories from the Bolingbrook Babbler newspaper: of UFOs, half-human weredeer, and of vampire gangs that roamed the streets at night. Then one day his parents told him the truth—the stories were all a lie.

Fresh out of college, Tom built a reputation as a blogger of the scientific skepticism movement, debunking the reports of paranormal events in his hometown. However, after famous podcast host Jamie Kyle posted a video about how Tom’s attempts to “hook up” with her at a skeptic’s conference made her feel uncomfortable, the blogger was furious.

Now, in his mid-twenties and still angry about his humiliation, Tom has made a career from defending the skeptical movement against “modern feminists”, including Humanist Heart, a group of social justice skeptics. And, when he hears that his hometown of Bolingbrook will host Humanist Heart’s congress, and Jamie will be their guest, Tom hatches a plan to confront the podcaster.

The only problem is that he must work for the Bolingbrook Babbler to gain access to the congress, and risk ruining his skeptic reputation. But an attack by a weredeer while working on his first assignment for the Babbler leaves Tom’s beliefs in pieces. The monsters, the UFOs, everything he tried to debunk—are all real!

Now, there are angry Men’s Rights Activists trying to disrupt the congress, weredeer have surrounded the area, and mysterious time rifts appearing throughout the village. Only Jamie and the Babbler can help Tom fix this, but will he be able to get past his anger and distrust before reaching the point of no return?

Coming soon. Subscribers to my newsletter will be the first to know about the release date.

Another way to get a free copy of ‘Pathways to Bolingbrook’ (Non-fiction)

I’m still working on the redlines for my novel, The Rift, which is still on track for release this year. On Tuesday, I’ll debut a new blurb for it.

In the meantime, my free eBook, Pathways to Bolingbrook, is part of two Prolific Works giveaways. It’s two short stories set in the same universe as The Rift.

Fantasy Reads

Leviathan Wakes

You can download my book, along with several other free Sci-Fi and Fantasy books. eBooks