The Roger Claar Party, which is not affiliated with former Mayor Roger Claar, claims that social media companies are censoring their attack ad against the First Party for Bolingbrook.

 David Nelson, the chairperson of the Roger Claar Party, stated: “Social media companies would rather serve the Don’t Put Roger First party rather than the residents of Bolingbrook. But we will get our ad out—  even if we have to email it to every resident!  The truth is our party is committed to serving the greatest mayor ever!”

The ad, which was sent to the Babbler, claims that Acting Mayor Mary Alexander-Basta, who is running as a member of the First Party for Bolingbrook, voted with Trustee Robert Jaskiewicz, a member of the Bolingbrook United Party, on 98% of Village Board votes from 2019 to 2020.

At one point, the ad narrator says: “The choice is simple.  You can elect a mayor nominated by the Anti-Roger, or you can vote for a party that will stand by Roger 100%  Choose wisely, Bolingbrook.”

The ad also features photos of Alexander-Basta’s and Jaskiewicz’s faces crudely added to a video of a dancing couple.

According to Nelson, the ad was uploaded to Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, YouTube, and Gab.  The ad disappeared seconds later.

“Social media companies have allied themselves with the Anti-Roger and his evil allies!”

A Gab official, who asked not to be identified, said they deleted the video to prove they’re not biased against liberals.  “The Media says we cater to the alt-right.  That’s not true. We proved it by removing a video that was biased against a (racist remark deleted) (anti-Semitic remark deleted) village!”

The other social media companies refused to comment for this story.

A spokesperson for Bolingbrook United denounced the ad:

“Sure Bob nominated Acting Mayor Mary, but have you seen how she treats him?  Bob’s trying hard to fix our sanitation program. Mary just wants to argue about the difference between a fee and a tax.  Instead of taking a stand, she dumped Bob in a committee with (Trustee Michael) Lawler and tried to get our garbage advisory question thrown off the April ballot. If you want to provide real T.LC. for Bolingbrook, vote Bolingbrook United in and throw the First Party in the trash!”

Claar called the Roger Claar Party “a fake party,” and made several unprintable comments about Nelson before hanging up.

A receptionist for Alexander-Basta said it was the mayor’s day off, and she wasn’t talking to the media. She also said:

“You should write about how Mayor Mary didn’t throw anyone off the ballot this year.  Just between you and me, I think that’s a good sign.”

In the background, a man who sounded like trustee and mayoral candidate Sheldon Watts, said: “You can’t bring that dog in here!”

A woman who sounded like covert social media operative Charlene Spencer replied: “I can bring a service animal in here.”

“Since when did you need a service animal?”

“She’s not here for me.  She’s here for you.  Meet Taffy, the deprogramming puppy.”

“Deprogramming puppy?”

“Yes.  You’ve been conditioned to always vote with the First Party.  If you’re going to run as an independent voice, you’re going to have to do better.”

“Are you accusing me of being one of Roger’s robots?”

“Call it what you want, Sheldon, but Taffy is here to help you.”

“How?”

“By banning the sale of commercially bred pets in Bolingbrook.  Look at her smile.  Good girl.  Taffy’s happy because she thinks you are going to propose a humane pet store ordinance at the next board meeting.  She knows that if you do that (Trustee Michael Carpanzano) will second it.”

“He will?”

“Trust me.”

“I don’t know.”

“Anyway, When it comes up for discussion, the mean mayor will say the village shouldn’t take sides between the cruel puppy mill breeders and puppy loving residents of Bolingbrook.  That will make Taffy sad.”

“Taffy understands English?”

“She’s a smart puppy.  She’s so smart that she knows the puppy loving voters are the key to victory.”

“But I don’t have the votes on the board.”

“Yes, you do.  I figured it out.  Michael and you will vote yes.  Bob will recognize this as his last opportunity to defeat the First Party and vote yes.  Then Trustee Zarate will break down and vote yes.  You’ll look like a brave compassionate independent leader.  No one will want to vote for a mean mayor.  So that’ll just leave (Mayoral candidate Jackie) Traynere in our way!  But if you vote with the First Party, Taffy will be sad.  You don’t want Taffy to be sad, do you?”

“Seriously?  You want me to choose a puppy over Mayor Mary?”

A dog barked for few moments.

“Don’t say the ‘M’ word around Taffy.”

Also in the Babbler:

Bolingbrook braces for Russian snow attack
Bolingbrook Police unions denounce revised ‘Don’t be a Drew’ training video
Local reptoids insist they have no plans for Bolingbrook
God to smite Bolingbrook on 1/30/21

Note:  This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer.  Feel free to leave a comment here or in the Bolingbrook Babbler Readers Group.