By Reporter X
Days after Congress recognized the Space Force, One-thousand Space Force Marines marched into Clow UFO Base. They were chanting: “MAGA,” “Trump for Life,” and “Submit, don’t resist!” These marines will use Clow as their base of operations.
During a welcoming ceremony, Bolingbrook Mayor (and Clow Administrator) Roger Claar, said: “I’ve always believed in providing the best security. Now Clow has an extra layer of security.”
The marines marched through most of Clow, including Embassy Row. Opinions about the march varied among those who watched:
“I had to make sure I wasn’t in Earth’s past,” said Abraham, a resident of the Interstellar Tribes of Israel. “We’ve been away for centuries, but even we know that authoritarianism can lead to terrible things.”
“I love it!” said AxlJoisgo, a resident of Teegarden C. “I’m happy to see that humanity’s hippie generation has grown up to endorse law and order! Okay, boomers!”
First Lady Melania Trump addressed the marines during the welcoming ceremony:
“Space Force will be our country’s first line of defense against Space ISIS! That is why I am ordering Space Force Marines deployed to every UFO Base in our great country. The administrators have a choice: Either you will open your doors to us, or we will force them open!”
While President Trump granted Melania authority over all UFO Bases in the United States, her authority is only recognized in Illuminati controlled bases.
Bolingbrook United, Bolingbrook’s opposition party, accused Claar of using the marines to intimidate their consulate staff:
“Our building is now surrounded by Space Force Marines,” read a press release from Bolingbrook United. “Our staff now have to pass through extra checkpoints and answer intrusive questions. Roger, you may have won the last election, but we are still the future.”
Clow’s public relations office released a statement in reply. Part of it read: “The marines are here to protect Clow. If Bolingbrook United doesn’t show more respect to the brave men of Space Force, we may not respect the safety of their property or their staff.”
A few Clow employees, speaking anonymously, claim that Space Force Marines are aiming artillery at Chicago, Palatine’s Rob Sherman UFO Base, and Peotone’s UFO Base. Some claimed to have heard marines talk about their urban combat training.
“Unless they’re planning on attacking the Martian Colonies,” said one anonymous staff member, “I suspect they’re talking about fighting battles on Earth. I hope I’m wrong, and that Trump isn’t going to use the Space Force to get revenge for being impeached.”
A message from Space Force Command stated that “Normies who behave have nothing to fear.”
A receptionist for Claar denied the existence of Clow UFO Base, and the existence of Space Marines:
“I wonder what you guys are going to do once Roger retires in 2021?”
In the background, a man who sounded like Claar said: “Charlene, I don’t know how you got Jackie’s secret mayoral platform from 2017.”
A woman who sounded like Covert Social Media Operative Charlene Spencer replied: “Let’s just say I believe in a foreign power.”
“Don’t say any more. Okay, we’ve co-opted her Village Manager plank. What else can we co-opt?”
“Ban political contributions from vendors who do business with the village?”
“We can do that. They can donate to my political action committee instead.”
“End no bid contracting?”
“We can do that. The bidding process will just waste the new mayor’s time.”
“Sell the Bolingbrook Golf Club?”
“(Expletive Deleted) that!”
Also in the Babbler:
Claar supporter hospitalized after Jackie Traynere tells him he exists
Trustee Michael Carpanzano denies plans to cap chiropractors in Bolingbrook
Mayor Claar: Running over liberals is still a crime
God to smite Bolingbrook on 12/26/19
Note: This is a work of fiction. Feel free to leave a comment here or in the Bolingbrook Babbler Readers Group.