Clow UFO Base survives Taylor Swift concert (Fiction)

By Reporter X

Despite logistical problems, literal earthshaking numbers, a protest, and threats, Taylor Swift successfully pulled off her first performance at a UFO Base. Swift’s concert shattered Clow’s previous concert attendance records, as well as the record for most watched interstellar holographic concert in the Milky Way. 

When she took the stage, Swift asked the audience, “Are there any Swifties in the galaxy tonight?” The audience’s enthusiastic reaction triggered the first of many minor earthquakes that night.

“We thought we were prepared,” said an anonymous official at the Department of Interstellar Affairs. “We rented several trucks and drove them around the village. That way, people would assume the trucks passing by caused the shaking. We didn’t expect so many earthquake tonight. So the truck cover story was pushing the limits of plausibility.”

After Swift performed the third song on her set list, protesters from Alpha Centauri. They unfurled a banner that read, “Free Palestine! Protect Israel! Support the Quantum State Solution!” The Men in Blue peacefully escorted the protesters off the stage. Clow officials would only say that the protesters are still alive.

Once the protesters left the stage, Swift address the audience. “There are Swifties on both sides of this terrible conflict. I don’t know about you, but I think Swifties should love each other as much as they love the music.”

Following the protest, Bolingbrook Mayor Mary Alexander-Basta reached out to the Israeli Space Defense Force. Anonymous sources confirmed part of what she said: “As a woman of global excellence, I strongly urge you not to attack Clow…You can’t be serious! Think of all the residents you’d harm…Really? Well, for your information, the residents of Bolingbrook are civilians. Even (name of local politician redacted). So if the ISDF is serious about avoiding civilian casualties, don’t even think about dropping an anti-matter bomb on Bolingbrook!”

The concert continued without incident. After her final encore, Swift thanked the audience. “Tonight was worth all the breakups I had to go through to write my songs!”

Lokblak, a resident of Tabby’s Star, was one of many satisfied Swift fans. “Her songs are so universal. Somehow, she knows how great it feels to shake off a bad layer of skin.”

Kolog, a resident of Triton, had a different reason for attending the concert. “I wanted to see Taylor Swift before humanity’s extinction. If only humans admired their planet as much as they admire Ms. Swift.”

Also in the Babbler:

Europa Bears? Europa entered the bidding for next the Bears’ new stadium
Former Twitter employees stage sit-in at Clow UFO Base
Record number of aliens to trick or treat in Bolingbrook
God will not smite Bolingbrook this week

Note: This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer. 

Want to support my creative work? Check out my Urban Fantasy series, the Bolingbrook Babbler Stories.  You can also buy me a coffee.

I have a new audiobook! (Non-fiction)

Cover of A Fire in the Shadows

A Fire in the Shadows: A Bolingbrook Babbler Story

The audiobook version of A Fire in the Shadows, part of my Urban Fantasy series set in Bolingbrook, IL, was just released this month. It’s a bittersweet story about Lydia, a rare vampire who feels love and has empathy, who risks her immortality to protect she’s a woman she’s romantically interested in, but has never spoken to. It’s a parallel story to my novel, The Rift.

That I was able to release it at all is an achievement. After I’d secured the narrator, Rachanee Lumayno, I was laid off. I pushed back production a few months, but if I didn’t get a new job, I’d have to abandon it. Fortunately, I was rehired several months later. Just in time to resume production. So this audiobook is a celebration of getting a new job, and leaving a dark period of my life.

If you’d like a copy, Kobo and other retailers have it. It might be a few months before it’s available on ACX. You can also ask your local library for a copy. Thanks in advance if you decide to buy or check out A Fire in the Shadows. 

Podish-Sortacast: Spooky Stories this Saturday

On a lighter note, FtB’s Podish Sortacast this Saturday is about spooky stories. The plan is to share some spooky stories and talk about why we like scary stories.

I won’t be there,  but I did record an excerpt from my work in progress, Revenge of the Phantom Press. It’s Book Three of my Urban Fantasy series, The Bolingbrook Babbler Stories. If you want to be one of the first people to hear an excerpt from my book, or want to hear other scary, or want to enjoy a fun conversation about scary stories, Check out the Podish-Sortacast this Saturday at 16:00 Central Time.

Fanaticism in the name of resistance is a vice (non-fiction)

After Hamas’ raids into Israel, I’ve read some writers defend it because it resistance against the Israelis government’s treatment of the Palestinian people . Like this example from  Somdeep Sen, an associate professor of at International Development Studies at Denmark’s Roskilde University:

In fact, what appears to be the largest military response by Palestinians in decades was an inevitable development, an act of resistance and a reaction to the suffering of the people of Gaza under a brutal blockade and occupation. It is part of the Palestinian struggle for freedom, and it solidifies Gaza’s place at the heart of it.

The implication of these arguments is if oppose the attacks, then you’re against the Palestinians. I strongly disagree. Hamas does represent the Palestinian people. They won one election in Gaza, then consolidated power by killing the opposition. This is their war with Israel and they seem to regard the two million residents of Gaza as human shields.

You can oppose both Hamas’ recent massacres and Israel’s inhumane treatment of Palestinians. You can denounce war crimes committed by both sides. You can mourn the deaths on both sides.

Hamas’s “operation “ didn’t advance the Palestinian cause or weaken Israel. Dropping bombs on ambulances or shooting into a rave isn’t resistance. Turning Gaza into an open air prison isn’t protecting Israeli.

I don’t know what the long term solution is. I know there are people on both sides who want a just and lasting peace. I also know there will more bloodshed in the coming days.

I think the Jewish-Arab group Standing Together is on the right track with this statement:

We must not buy into the illusion that security can be achieved through military action. There is no future here—for any of us—without ending the occupation guaranteeing independence, freedom, and security for both nations.