Since Friday, aliens protesting US Immigration detentions and “human mismanagement of Earth,” have shut down Clow UFO Base. The protests are the largest and most disruptive in Clow’s history since 2016 when aliens protested a Trump fundraiser. (The fundraiser took place at the Bolingbrook Golf Club.)

“Today, Trump will go after humans with dark skin who cross an imaginary line,” said a masked alien addressing one of the many roving bands of protesters.  “Tomorrow, his Space Force will come after us!  The next day, he will drug our children instead of their children.  The day after that, he will declare war against the galaxy.  We won’t let it get that far. Let’s show Homo Sapiens that we will resist tomorrow!”

Some protesters are chanting, “Humans are horrible,” and staging sit-ins at various offices and embassies.  Others have parked their UFOs on the launch pads and are refusing to move them by claiming that they require parts that need to be ordered from their home planets.  Some of the protesters claim to have set up “autonomous zones,” and are enforcing them with combat robots.

“We have a very fluid situation at Clow UFO Base,” explained Joan Armstrong, spokesperson for the Department of Interstellar Affairs.  “We hope all residents will support (Mayor Roger Claar’s) efforts to restore law and order at Clow.  I’m sure the residents will understand if Roger declares a state of minor annoyance within the village.”

Neither Armstrong nor other department officials clarified what a “state of minor annoyance” would entail for residents.

An anonymous source close to Trustee Robert Jaskiewicz said Jaskiewicz was in negotiations with the protesters to return control of Clow back to the village:  “Bob is very sympathetic to the concerns of the protesters.  He supports the humane treatment of all who seek refuge in the United States and believes in due process.  Bob is working with Roger and all the trustees to bring peace and justice to Clow.  Humans can improve!”

Other sources claim that Claar sought assistance from Melania Trump, who is in charge of all Illuminati controlled UFO bases in the United States.  According to the sources, Trump replied by saying, “I might help you, but first you need to help me.  Which jacket should I wear to my meeting with the Martian Colonial ambassador?  The one that says, ‘I really don’t care. Do U?’ or the one that says, ‘Work sets you free?’”

When called for a comment, a receptionist said Claar was telephoning his Facebook critics and could not be disturbed.

In the background, a man who sounded like Claar said, “You wrote that I am a straw man.  I’ll have you know that there is no straw anywhere in my body.  I am fully human!  How dare you accuse me of being a scarecrow!  What?  Why, yes I am a master debater!  I’ve been practicing for nearly forty years!”

Also in the Babbler:

New World Order to hold a press conference in Joliet
ICE cancels raid at Bolingbrook Village Hall
Illuminati and New World Order fighting for control of Bolingbrook Pride
God to smite Bolingbrook on 6/30/18