It was fun galore at Essex Pride, 2017, held on 24th June, 2017 in my city, Chelmsford!
It was my first Essex Pride. I danced joyfully, sang horribly and met great people. I am now officially an Essex Babe.
Looking forward to London Pride, 2017.
It was fun galore at Essex Pride, 2017, held on 24th June, 2017 in my city, Chelmsford!
It was my first Essex Pride. I danced joyfully, sang horribly and met great people. I am now officially an Essex Babe.
Looking forward to London Pride, 2017.
On June 19, 2017, I woke up to the news that there had been a terror attack at Finsbury park Mosque, targeted against Muslims in London. I was shocked and appalled by the barbaric act. I posted on my Facebook wall to condemn the terrorist act. A valued facebook friend from Australia responded with such surprising views that I was really taken aback.
As I have been meaning to write about the Darren Osborne terror attack on Muslims but have not been able to, I thought I should share the exchanges I had with my Australian friend here as the comments basically covered what my thoughts are on the terror act.
I posted on my wall-
Oh no, a counter terror attack in London! This is a dangerous ground to tread, London is too diverse for this appalling act. Londoners are proud of our diversity and tolerance, this is barbaric. I’m just tired of all the bad news. Humans seems to be going downhill.
My Australian FB friend commented-
People can only be murdered for so long before someone stands up and fights back. The English have a history of putting up with shit for so long before taking action. Thankfully someone has chosen to do so.
Needless to say I was appalled by his line of thinking –
That is a very appalling, horrible thing to say. Going around murdering innocent people because you do not like their religion or because a few religious extremists carried out terrorist attacks in the name of that religion is barbaric and very inhumane. There is nothing that can justify murdering innocent people. I have no respect for Islam neither do I have any respect for Christianity nor any other silly religion out there, but I will never advocate for the killing of religious people. Human rights guarantee the right to freedom of Religion. I am appalled by your hateful comment here and I will say NEVER leave such a comment glorifying and justifying the killings of innocent people on my wall.
He refused to put his thinking cap on and responded with –
If these Muslims were not attacking every corner of the globe, every day of the week there would be no reprisals, no trillions spent on security, you would not know they were part of any community. They would be under the radar such as Hindu, Buddhist etc but they are not. They created this situation so they need to suck it up and accept the responsibility for their dogma which has turned the world into chaos.
When some of my British friends tried to set him straight, he was not having it –
Perhaps if you pom’s were as aggressive at actually controlling your social failure with Islam as you are with someone who is please to see someone in your cuntry have the spine to actually stand up and fight instead of hiding behind a keyboard you might not be in decay. After reading all the rubbish you have thrown at me ‘good ridden’s’ to you all.
His fellow Australian who has known him personally for about 10 years also stepped in to talk some sense into him-
hate speech like yours is the very reason why people drive their car through innocent people who are simply participating in the deity of their religious beliefs!
You’re stereotyping all Muslims as being murderous terrorists which is bullshit!!
Wake up man!!! What you’re doing is no fucking better than what the terrorist does! An act of terrorism is to incite fear, hate and to terrorise.
I actually know a lot of Muslims and they are wonderful caring beautiful people.
They’re not saying things like your saying. !!!!!
I also thought I should talk more sense into him –
How on earth does attacking and committing terror acts against Muslims solve terrorism? That line of thought is indeed very barbaric, primitive, ignorant and retrogressive.
Were the Muslims killed by this far right English man terrorist the Islamists extremists who are committing terrorists Act?
How is the action of this silly, primitive, barbaric Western terrorist any different from the actions of the Islamist terrorists you loathe?
How is your glorification and justification of this heinous act any different from the jubilation of ISIS and Islamist terrorists after a terror attack?
How is the killing of innocent people targeted solely for their religion any different from killing westerners in the name of Islam?
Today this man targeted Muslims, tomorrow it will be some westerners with extreme far right ideology that will start targeting migrants. And who next, black people living in Europe?
Look, let’s get this straight, there is no justification for hate crimes or any kind of terrorism
Innocent Muslims do not need to convince you or anyone that they have the right to life, live and coexist in any society without fearing for their lives. Muslims should be judged on their individual actions in the society, like every other human being, they should not be collectively held responsible for the heinous crimes of a few others.
***your comments are disgusting, appalling, Muslimphobic, hateful and a danger to humanity. I am more than disappointed that you hold such disgusting views as i really did consider you a friend. This is not a simple matter of difference of opinion, i will not let you use my platform to spread such hate. I will block you the same way i block anyone one who spouts homophobic, biphobic or transphobic nonsense on my wall. Pls, kindly stop ANY kind of justification of this heinous act ON MY WALL. Any further comment hinting at all at justification or encouragement of this hate crime and terrorist action get you blocked immediately.
***I am really disappointed that an intelligent man like *** who I consider a friend would hold such extremist views. So sad. I hope he let go of such hate and understand that as evolved human beings, we have no justification for killing or encouraging the murder of innocent people for the crimes of others simply because they share a religion, skin colour or race. How barbaric!
His Australian friend seemed as confused about his line of reasoning as I was , she wrote-
Yemisi Ilesanmi and yet, yesterday he posted a video of the barbaric treatment of Irish by the English in the early 1800’s!
Now here he is defending this barbaric behaviour!! I just don’t understand his thinking.
I’m very disappointed 😔
However, our mutual friend wasn’t budging on his hate-filled murderous views-
Winge all you want as I really don’t care. Neither of you understand my point of view or respect it. I’m labelled a hater when you are both spitting venom at me, throwing hate speech at me. Yes I did load up a bit of English history but I don’t hate anyone over it. I don’t hate anyone, don’t hate Muslims but I am entitled to a opinion to what you believe is right or perhaps in your case ‘left’..
I had to let his fellow Australian know just how shocked I was by our mutual friend’s views-
*** When I first read ***’s comment, I almost thought his account was hacked! I find his comment so out of character. As an Atheist, I never hide the fact that I loathe religion, all type of religion. I and criticise Islam openly, just as I criticise Christianity which actually harmed me a lot while growing up and still harm me cos of my sexual orientation. However as an adult with a functioning brain, I know it is OK to criticise an ideology without calling for the death of innocent people who have done no harm to the society, just because they share or practise their ideology or religion. *** is sadly misguided.
I tried to call him out on calling his murderous, genocidal, oppressive view just an “Opinion” –
Get it into your head, it is not an OPINION to deny a whole group of people the Right to life because of their religion. That is a gross violation of their human right. You are sick in the head if you think you have the right to debate the right to life of innocent people who have committed no crime just because of their religion. You will not use my platform to spread your hate.
His fellow Australian tried to appeal further to his sense of reasoning-
*** you stated that Muslims created this situation.
Muslims did not create this situation, EXTREMISTS did.
I think you are so full of hate for a minority that you’re now persecuting the majority.
I’m not a believer in Religion but I certainly don’t hate those who are.
Also I want to refresh your somewhat lacking memory here. Not all terrorists are Muslims!!!!!
However our mutual friend wasn’t having any of it, logic was lost on him-
I don’t use the word hate as it is a vicious word. Calling me a hater, racist is offensive and wrong. There are 1 billion Muslims so they are not a minority. If they were a minority they are causing way to much death for such a group. If it was a peaceful group the world would not be on terror alert due to Islamic attacks I am aware of this problem, perhaps you are not but back to the original post before I was attacked. Did it actually cross your mind the act of retaliation by a member of the host nation may have been besotted by the grief of someone close to him who was killed, beaten, raped by one of these poor so called minority groups? You are also aware the location of the reprisal was a hub for Islamic haters of Western society?
At this point I was fed up with him –
What nonsense are you spewing, sounds like you’ve totally taken leave of your thinking faculty.
How has the supposedly 1 billion Muslim population you quoted harm you as a person or the society as a whole? How is the killing of innocent Muslims the solution to Islamist terrorism?
I asked you pertinent questions earlier, obviously you have not taken the time to logically ponder these questions or you are just too clouded by your hate and alarming ignorance to logically and honestly answer these questions.
I come from a country of about 120 million people and half of that population are Muslims. Boko Haram, the Islamist extremist group who have been terrorising the country have killed more Muslims than Christians or people of other religion. Muslims, who are predominant in the Northern part of Nigeria are integrated into the western, southern and Eastern part of the country.
There are many cases of families where one parent is Christian and the other Muslim. Do we now say because of the atrocities of Boko Haram, we should start killing Muslims in the country? Wouldn’t that lead to another civil war? Of what good are wars? Why advocate for the genocide of innocent people because you loathe their religion?
Your reasoning is very barbaric, ignorant, retrogressive and very inhumane. As *** said, you posted a video yesterday on your wall condemning the Irish genocide by British, now you are advocating for the genocide of Muslims. What a hypocrite you are.
Or is it OK to kill Muslims because you think they are sub-humans? Or you view Muslims as ‘Brown people’ therefore you think they are sub-humans?
You say you know your UK history, are you aware that IRA is classified as a terrorist group that carried out terrorist acts in UK? Was that a good enough reason to murder innocent Irish people? You clearly don’t think so as you condemned the Irish famine as genocide just yesterday. However, the hypocrite Musimphobe and possibly racist that you are is not willing to give Muslims same consideration. You cannot find it in your hate-filled heart to see Muslims in the same way as you see the Irish. I guess the Muslims are too brown for you to deserve basic human right.
You said the location of the terror attack was a hub for Islamic haters of western society. Are you aware that the Mosque in Finsbury Park was the first Mosque to win a National Award in UK? Until a few months ago, I live in North London, just a few stops from Finsbury park, and I can tell you it was a lovely place to live, A hotbed of London diversity.
You are a disappointment. I sincerely hope you will let logic cleanse your beclouded brain and not let hate to consume you so much. What you are advocating is genocide. There is no justification for genocide. I am greatly disappointed in you and disgusted by your comments. Pls, stay away from my wall until you learn how to behave like a decent human being again.
Did he get it? Did he find his brain and conscience again? No, he simply responded with this gem-
What a load of crap. Goodbye
Well, my parting shot was-
Good riddance to bad rubbish, Thanks for unfriending your Muslimphobic, subconsciously racist, ignorant ass from my Facebook page. I don’t need friends that call for genocides. Hate and ignorance fuel violence and you are now obviously a violent man. I hope you get the help you need before you constitute a nuisance to the society. You sound like a terrorist in the making. Goodbye.
Oh well, that was the end of that. Another friend lost to ignorance and hate. Probably many more will be lost as Brexit and Trump embolden people to show their inner racist, sexist and bigoted selves. Hopefully my now ‘ex-friend’ sees the errors of his ways before it is too late.
My beloved London was attacked again by primitive religious terrorists. 7 people were killed and 48 injured in an indiscriminate terror attack last night carried out on London bridge by 3 men who had what has now been confirmed as fake bombs strapped to their bodies.
Around 10pm on Saturday 3rd June 2017, the Islam terrorists ran their van over people on the London Bridge, jumped out of the van, and ran towards London Borough Market where they started stabbing people. Eyewitnesses reports have it that these barbarians screamed “This is for Allah”, while stabbing their victims and carrying out their nefarious attacks on innocent people. The police arrived at the scene swiftly and the three attackers were shot dead by armed police.
It is heart-breaking and utterly appalling. I went to bed heavy-hearted, and I was so reluctant to open my eyes this morning, I surely did not want to switch on my TV, the news was just too depressing.
What is wrong with these people? A lot, I would say, a lot!
What drives people to want to harm strangers?
What ideology makes you so inhuman that you derive pleasure in blowing people up?
What sense of martyrdom makes you so high that you would kill many innocent people in your suicide mission?
In these terror attacks, the barbarians don’t leave us wondering what their motives are. They scream it in our ears while they stab and blow up their victims. “This is for Allah”, they always scream, maniacally.
Yes, they did it for Allah, their beloved Skydaddy. They did it for their religious convictions. They will do it again in the name of their beloved prophet, Mohammed.
I am so tired of people trying to polemicize these terror attacks while reluctant to acknowledge the big role religion play in it. Yes, politics is involved, but humans are political beings. We all have our political leanings and convictions, regardless of whether we are religious or not. However, in this modern day, only one group keeps grabbing the headline for terror attacks in the name of religion, and that is Islamists, and that religion is Islam.
I am so tired of people quickly rushing to affirm that Islam is a religion of peace. Well, if Islam is a religion of peace then the Quran must be the Holy International Peace Treaty!
I am no fan of any religion, if I had my way, it would be a criminal offence to teach religion in public schools or force children to pray to whatever imaginary being adults believe in.
I would say that Islam has a special place of contempt in my heart. I grew up as a Christian and it ruined my childhood. I blame religion and I lose intellectual respect for family members and friends who still spew religious nonsense. However, they are not going out stabbing people or encouraging blowing people up in the name of their Christian faith. Also, in the same vein, not all Muslims are running around stabbing and blowing people up in the name of Islam and their prophet, Mohammed.
Yes, the bible is a silly, violent book too, but unlike Islamist jihads, Christian jihads seems to be a thing of the past, although they do find their own nefarious ways to oppress people in the name of their SkyDaddy. For example, Christians in Nigeria, especially the big denominations, are mostly responsible for the ‘Jail the gay’ bill that was passed into law which stipulates 14 years imprisonment for anyone who engages in Same-Sex relationship and 10 years jail term for anyone who advocates for LGBT rights. So yeah, Christians are oppressors too. There is no excuse for forcing their religious beliefs, hate and silly holy book on everyone and into State laws and Policies.
I am so tired of people insisting that these terror attacks are solely about politics and not religion. Yes, politics is involved, but what is that powerful tool that these Islamist terrorists share, revere and kill for? It is Islam.
And guess what? According to their Holy Book, Quran, they are right.
The holy book of Islam is the Quran and the Quran commands the killing of infidels. The prophet Mohamed encouraged it. There is no modified version of that primitive, barbaric book called Quran. The Christian holy book is the Bible, at least they have tried to modify silly, primitive silly, violent book a bit, The New testament is still a book of silly myths and fiction but at least, it does not command as much violence as the old testament, which btw, still does not make it any good. The Quran on the other hand has not gone through such cleansing.
The Middle East is fraught with Political, State and Religious tensions. Religion and politics are at the heart of it, as are capitalism, greed, power, arms sales and interference from the west, sometimes wanted, sometime not so much.
However, the common denominator at the heart of the terrorists who carried out acts of terrorism and killed many innocent people in my motherland Nigeria, in my beloved city London, in Manchester, Paris, Germany, Belgium, Kenya etc is Religion, the Islam religion to be exact.
This is not rocket science, Religion is evil. Islam as it is a veritable ground for recruiting terrorists. Any ideology that serves as an excuse to commit such atrocities, is evil. As Voltaire said, “Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.”
Blaise Pascal also said, “Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction”.
I have no respect for any religion as I have no regard for self-inflicted delusion. However, I must say again, Islam holds a special place of contempt in my heart for the fact that in this generation that I live in, it is the most used religion to inflict physical harm on innocent people. It is the religion used to recruit and groom modern day terrorists.
Does this make me an Islamphobe? If you think so, I think you need to get your head examined. I do not hate Muslims; however, I have nothing but contempt for their religion. I do not have an irrational fear of Islam; therefore, I am not Islamophobic. It is only logical that I have a rational fear and contempt for any ideology that commands that I be killed for being an infidel. Here is a link to an interesting video about three surprising things you probably did not know about Islam and the Quran.
My heart goes to the families of the victims. It must have been a terrifying ordeal for everyone caught up in this latest barbaric assault on human lives.
I would say love shall win but even the terrorists believe their murderous actions are borne out of Love. Misplaced love for their religion. Misplaced love for their Allah. Misplaced love for their fanatic leaders. Misplaced love for their Prophet Mohamed.
Decent people call what these terrorists think is Love, Hate. I call them delusional and hate filled people. You must arbour a special kind of hate in your heart to be able to carry out these terror attacks on your fellow humans.
I sincerely look forward to a day when Religion, ALL RELIGION, is a thing of the past. A day when a new generation would ask perplexed
“Why did our ancestors believe there was a God?”
“How could they be so silly to kill for an imaginary being?”
“How terrible was the world then that they felt they needed to kill themselves for this dude called Allah?”
Until them, stay safe and please, stop indoctrinating children with religion.
Just the Kind of things I do on my lazy Sundays; I dance around the house and shake my booty.
I have not done a Dance-Exercise video for some time now; glad that has now been rectified.
I really had fun dancing to Ed Sheeran’s Shape of you. Enjoy!
Seasons come, Seasons go
Not everyone can handle the flow
Some flourish, Some Perish
Lessons learned, Moments cherished
Winter comes with its cold claws
An excuse to cover the flaws
Or a reason to grow
Hibernating on the down low
Spring with its blooming beauty
Doesn’t always chase away the gloom
Cleansing nooks and crannies with its broom
As part of life’s annual duty
Summer comes blazing in glorious sunshine
It is the time to wine and dine
But not everyone gets bathed in its glow
As beauty also comes with its woes and blows
Autumn with its changing colours
Creeps in with its slippery Fall
For survival, we crawl or maul
A time to hang on to the collar
Every season throws its curves
Life isn’t always a fountain of pleasure
Amidst its pains, I find my treasures
Every moment to cherish, and to Love
Copyright © – Yemisi Ilesanmi
I slept off yesterday with the breaking news that there was a sort of commotion at Manchester arena where pop singer, Ariana Grande was performing at a concert for her mostly young fans. The reports coming in then appeared to think it was just some malfunctioning wires or exploding speakers at the concert venue. However, I woke up this morning to the news that it was indeed another Terrorist Attack. I quickly called my family in Manchester to make sure they were OK.
The terrorist attack has so far claimed 22 lives, some of them children. 18-year-old sixth form student, Georgina Callender, has been confirmed as the first victim. Also, an eight-year-old girl, Saffie Rose Roussos, was also confirmed dead after becoming separated from her mother and sister. 59 persons are injured and receiving treatment in various hospitals in Manchester.
The police have arrested a 23-year-old man, Salman Abedi, in Manchester in connection with the bombing.
According to Chief constable Ian Hopkins:
We have been treating this as a terrorist incident and we believe that while the attack last night was conducted by one man, the priority is to establish whether he was acting alone or as part of a network.
The attacker, I can confirm, died at the arena. We believe the attacker was carrying an improvised explosive device, which he detonated, causing this atrocity.
Meanwhile, the Islamist State, (ISIS), has claimed responsibility for the attack. Although who knows if they were really responsible, after all, they seem eager to claim responsibility for every carnage these days, just to maintain relevance and strike fear in people.
It is beyond appalling how some people in the name of religion, some other hateful ideology or just out of pure evil, wake up and plan to murder innocent human beings. It is indeed a sad world we live in.
Humans have been killing humans for whatever reasons since time immemorial. Humans killed and enslaved fellow humans for land, colonialism, capitalism, religion and their imaginary skydaddy. It doesn’t look like it will get better any time soon. Maybe it is time we nuked ourselves and hope animals survive to rule the earth, the so called lower animals might just do a better job of it than we have.
Oh well, i guess this is the point where I say and hashtag, We Stand Together or Terrorism will be defeated. The unfortunate reality is, as long as we have Religion, Humans, Insatiable Greed and Thirst for Power, I do not see how this is possible.
My heart goes to all the victims and the families and friends of the victims. For those who lost loved ones in this senseless attack, may you have the strength and support to get through this very difficult time. For those fighting for their lives in the hospitals, here is hoping you pull through and come out soon, as good as new.
I wish I could go far, far, far away from this planet, I have thought about it a lot lately but looks like I’m not only firmly anchored but stuck to this beautiful, life sustaining planet, condemned to live and interact with its many sadistic humans.
However, I know amidst every calamities and carnage caused by horrible human beings, there are lovely people helping out to make life just a little bit easier for the victims. The evils our fellow humans do sometimes bring out the best in us as humans as we go all out to provide help and safety for these affected. Here is hoping our humanity last longer than just when we are confronted and shocked by our fellow humans’ capacity for evil.
Let’s continue to do our best to make this world a better place. Most importantly, do your part to make religion a thing of the past. The world does not need more people who believe in Santa Claus, a blue eyed blonde Saviour called Jesus, a bearded paedophile prophet called Mohammed, or silly beliefs in a God given land, miracle wall, divine river, or an imaginary Skydaddy who intelligently designed the universe and now spend his time preparing a burning hell for those who do not believe in him, and 72 virgins for those who die as martyrs to glorify his name.
The world does not need more deluded beliefs. Do not pass your religious delusions to the next generation.
Let’s fully embrace education. Embrace intelligence. Embrace knowledge. Above all, teach, spread and practice love.
I heard with Love, all things are possible. Let’s give it a try and hope that it is not just another delusion sold to us. Peace!
Facebook banned me for posting excerpts from my blog post, Men Are Trash, on my Facebook wall, and deleted the posts. Facebook thinks it is hate speech.
Some Facebook and Instagram users have reported similar experience; not surprising as Facebook owns Instagram. I Probably got reported by some random blokes whose very existence confirms that Men are Trash.
I decided to make the blog post into a YouTube video and share on Facebook. I plan to download it on my Facebook as a video, no doubt it will get me banned again, cos, Men and their fragile ego! #MenAreTrash.
I haven’t been blogging or creating videos on my YouTube channel as much as I would love to. Sometimes, we need to take a backseat to avoid activism burn out. I’m happy to say I’m raring to go again!
I will be blogging more, and I plan to create more videos on my YouTube channel. If you are not a subscriber already, you should check out my channel and subscribe.
YEMMYnisting is a space for me to share significant parts of my life with the public, comment on general issues, share my opinion and exchange ideas on happenings in the society.
My tagline is ‘Proudly Feminist, Proudly Bisexual and Proudly Atheist’. I make videos along these lines.
My videos touch a lot on Sexuality, Diversity, Atheism, Feminism and Race issues.
I identify as bisexual. I am from an ultra-homophobic / biphobic / transphobic environment. I use my videos to create awareness on sexual orientation and break the deafening silence on so called ‘taboo’ subjects.
I am the author of the advocacy book ‘Freedom To Love For ALL: Homosexuality Is Not Un-African’. It is available in paperback and kindle on Amazon, I hope you will check it out and order your copy.
YEMMYnisting is also a place I talk about religion and my lack of belief in God(s). Although I now reside in UK, I am an atheist from one of the most religious countries on planet earth, Nigeria.
One other great advantage of subscribing to my YouTube channel is that you get to hang out with me as I do my Dancexercise. I do love dancing, I can’t sing to save my life, but I’d sing and dance any day to get an endorphin rush. Also, it’s a great way to get fit, hence why I call it Dancexercise.
And speaking of getting fit, in my quest for endorphin rush, I found myself in the gym. The side effects included turning into a gym bunny. I shall be sharing some of my fitness videos, workouts, and tips with you.
Your constructive comments and suggestions are welcomed. If there are issues you’d like me to speak on or a song you’d like me to dance to in my dancexercise videos, please feel free to let me know.
I appreciate diverse views; however, I have zero tolerance for hate comments. Hate speech will get you banned.
You can also have more of me on
Subscribe and let’s go on a logical ride to fun destinations. Thanks!
Yes, men are trash. It is the truth. Men are indeed trash. Now, don’t come at me with your “Not All Men” bullshit. If you are a man and you think you are not trash, just jog on. However, it doesn’t change the fact that men are trash.
By sharing our experiences, women with online dating profiles already know that men are trash as exemplified by the unsolicited dick pics men send us, the explicit messages telling us what they want to stick in our mouths, invitation to sit on their faces and let them eat us before we’ve even exchanged as much as a Hello, and the creepy ways they inform us just how much they want to fill our holes with their imaginary six inch dicks. Yes, men are trash.
However, occupying a special place of men who are trash are men who catcall. Men who catcall are a physical constant reminder that men are trash. I have written before about the evils of catcalls and street harassment. Many of us have explained so many times why catcalling is degrading, and a form of sexual assault. Do they listen? No, they don’t. They continue to catcall cos they have dicks and that is what they think with, and it gives them a sense of entitlement to a woman’s body and attention.
I am so tired of being tired of men who won’t let a woman have her own space on the streets. No, they got to come up in our faces and demand that we smile for them. Heaven forbids we don’t entertain their demand, as that would be an excuse for them to get up close in our face and demand to know why we aren’t jumping up for joy when they complimented our big boobs, cute ass or nice legs. Yes, men are trash.
I just moved to Chelmsford Essex and love taking walks to enjoy the beauty of the place. After living in London for many years, I thought I would enjoy the fusion of modern and countryside beauty of Chelmsford by taking walks to appreciate all it offers. But hey, the very reason I dreaded taking walks in London keeps rearing its ugly head again in Chelmsford, Essex. Men who catcall.
I am so tired of hiding away or putting on my headphones to blank out the street noise just to avoid the constant harassment from men who think it is OK to tell me to smile, strangers who shout after me, “Nice Ass” and somehow expect me to turn around, smile with gratitude and say,
Thanks, Kind Sir for noticing, I do squats to get my glutes banging.
Really, men are trash.
Just the other day as I was walking home, some white guys, about four of them, started catcalling me. I ignored them and increased my pace to get away. They had obviously been drinking as some of them were holding beer cans. I hurried away from them but they continued leering at me, commenting on my body with a special focus on my ass and legs. Unfortunately, I had to wait for the traffic light to change, they caught up with me and one of them moved very close to me and practically whispered creepy things into my ears. He was all about how he would love to fuck my ass. While I waited for the traffic light to change, I had to endure listening to these trashy men talk about my body as if I was just an object and not a human being. I quickly crossed the road as soon as I could, and moved far to the other side of the road just to get away from them, even though that was a longer route for me.
It is so sad that as a woman, I am often compelled to bear these harassment in silence, and most times we are the ones who must move out of the way of these bullies, even if it means taking the longer route. Indeed, men are trash.
Just today, on my way to the gym, I had a nasty catcall encounter. I had been having a bad day, in fact it has been bad days for weeks now, so I was really looking forward to working out to let out some steam. There was this black dude on a bike coming towards my direction, he stopped near me and disembarked. As I walked past him, he looked at me and said in a very creep way-
Hmm, helloooo, looking good.
I couldn’t be bothered to respond, so I kept walking. He got furious and shouted-
I would blast your ass.
Typical man trash. I continued to ignore him and quickly crossed to the other side of the road.
However, guess who came chasing after me on his bike? Yeah, the creepy asshole. This dude had the audacity to get on his bike, chase after me and tried to chastise me for not returning his ‘greetings’. To top it all, he said
I am your African brother and you are feeling too big to talk to me.
I think it was at this point that I lost it. All through his catcalling, insults and chastising, I had tried to keep my cool and just kept walking as we were now on the high street with a few people around. However, everyone has a breaking point, and I think that was mine.
How dare this self-entitled, sexist pig of a man invade my space this way? Is it because he has a dick and felt obliged to tell me how he would blast my ass with it? Somehow, I was supposed to be grateful to him for that ‘compliment’?
I stopped walking, faced this asshole, and belted out in my black angry woman voice-
How dare you harass me on the street. How dare you refer to yourself as my African brother when you’ve just shouted at me how you would blast my ass? How dare you to try to mansplain to me that I was rude for not acknowledging your catcalls? Do you speak to your mothers and sisters in that manner? You are nothing but a fucking sexual harasser and a bully.
By this time, I was visibly angry, and my voice rose with every word I threw at him. I didn’t know how much of that pent-up anger was in me until I let it all splash out on this creepy asshole.
The guy was visibly shocked. The surprise on its face was priceless. He probably didn’t know I had a voice as I had kept silent all through his talking at me. This time I was the one really in his creepy, perverted face, screaming at him and ready to scratch his eyes out.
He was like, “Whoaaaa, what just happened?”.
Yeah, asshole, what happened was that I got tired of you harassing me, telling me how you want to blast my ass and having the effrontery to chase and chastise me for not acknowledging your creepy, sorry ass existence. Men are trash
And to my utmost surprise, this creepy black dude dared to use race in an attempt to make it look like I was the one in the wrong. He actually said, probably, for the benefit of the white people around-
You are African, this is how we do in Africa.
At that point, I felt like dragging him down from his bike and whoop his silly, creepy arse. He surely needed a beating. However, instead of beating him up, I told him if he thinks harassing a woman on the street is an African thing, he must have been raised by baboons. At this point, he knew I was so angry I could get physical with him right on the high street, and not in the way he would love, so he started moving away from me on his bike. When the coward thought he was a safe distance away, he started screaming inanities at me again.
I would blast your ass and you would come begging for more
You are big headed
I still don’t understand the “You hypocrite” accusation, but to top the list of the silly things he screamed at me, this black African dude looked back at me from his bike and shouted-
Go back to Africa
At this point, I knew for sure he has no functioning brain., the only thing he thinks with must be his dick. He was just another brainless creepy asshole who couldn’t understand why a woman he didn’t know would be angry at him for saying he wants to blast her ass. And well, at least it was the first time a fellow African screamed at me to go back to Africa on the streets of Britain, just because I wouldn’t let him blast my ass. What a dick!
Funny how this happened right on the high street and the mostly white population of Chelmsford, Essex were busy giving us space. I mean, it was like ‘Erm, two angry black people going at each other, one a visibly upset woman, the other a…well, black man, better give them space’. Race relations continue to baffle and amuse me, but as we are talking sexism, and sexism knows no race, I won’t let myself be distracted by the race interaction, for now.
At what point exactly should women report catcalling as sexual harassment?
I walk peacefully on the street and group of guys talk loudly about my body, what they’d like to do with my ass, boobs and vagina, yet I am supposed to just shrug it off and walk on?
A man catcalls and screams at me that after he blast my ass, l will come begging for more.Somehow I am expected to ignore this assault and be ‘adult’ about it?
I have had men hoot at me and throw drinks at me from their cars.
I have had men forcefully invade my space, follow me, demand that I smile and insist I acknowledge their greetings.
Do we ever consider the emotional anguish this cause women all day?
At what point am I allowed to defend myself from this type of street sexual harassment?
Am I just supposed to keep walking on and pretend it is not happening?
Am I supposed to ignore the pain and emotional anguish caused me by these words that seek to demean my very existence as a human being?
Am I expected to bear it all because ‘boys will be boys’?
Men are trash.
For all men who are trash, consider this a warning-
I am tired of being tired of your misogyny.
I am tired of being tired of your sexism.
I am tired of being tired of your catcalls.
I am tired of being tired of your self-entitlement.
I am tired of being tired of having to vacate my space to escape your harassment.
I am tired of being tired of patriarchy.
If you come at me with your catcalls, and dare to invade my space with your creepy face, be ready to have that creepy face of yours meet with my fist or my pepper spray.
It is only fair that if you are eager to tell me how you will blast my ass, I should feel no qualm about blasting your face with my pepper spray.
And while you are writhing in pain, I might as well just take down your pants and pepper spray your useless, good for nothing dick. Maybe then, you will begin to understand and experience just a fraction of the pain your constant street harassment cause women like me. Don’t you dare come at me bro because you might not have a dick left by the time I finish with you. Considering that your dick is the one thing you build your existence around, you will be as good as dead without it.
I warn your again, you creepy, perverted catcallers, you better stay away from me. Don’t come at me, cos I might very well give in to the urge to rid the world of your nasty, creepy existence and believe me, no price would be too high to pay for the pleasure of ridding the world of your perverted, creepy asshole, you man trash. Yes, men are trash and I might just be pushed to the extent that I would take out trash that invade my space.
I first saw the hashtag #WivesNotCook when a Facebook friend made a response post on it, which she titled “SO YOU WON’T COOK?”. When I read the post, right from the first paragraph, I cringed. I wanted to ignore it as I have ignored most things Nigerian lately. However, the post has been shared many times on Facebook, mostly by Nigerian men, who are using it as a reference point to chide women who support the hashtag #WivesNotCooks. Many have even used it as a point to bash single women, single mothers, divorced women and blamed all woes imaginable on feminism.
The post and the comments it generated made me realise we really have a long way to go in educating even the educated about the meaning of feminism. I understand that sometimes when we don’t want to engage, we still owe it to posterity to engage on some issues. Hence, why I decided to write this response to dissect the post and point out the problems with it, as it relates to feminism.
I was so surprised that someone who self-identified as “an unapologetic feminist” starts her argument against the hashtag #wivesNotCooks with these remarks- [Read more…]
I didn’t know I was black until I relocated to the UK in 2009 at the ripe old age of 34, before then, I thought I was just a human being.
Settling down in the UK, I quickly realised my skin colour mattered. It matters a lot.
I relocated to the UK in 2009 to study for my Post graduate degree in Law, specialising in Gender, Sexuality and Human rights. Even though I had contemplated my gender, sexuality, globalisation and the catastrophic effects of unbridled capitalism, I had not given my skin colour much thought.
From the overt racism, which I encountered from the University Surgery GP, the subtle racism of some of my white lecturers (who ironically taught equality classes), the white co-workers who turned their noses up at my African accent, to the ‘behind the back’ racist stab by the white, female principal officer in my workplace, which cost me a much needed, very good job offer, I quickly realised that my skin colour mattered. [Read more…]
Today is undoubtedly one of the saddest days of my life, and I am not even American. I might not be American or even live in America, however, I am human and Donald Trump is the very embodiment of everything I stand against.
Every vote for Donald Trump was a vote for Sexism, Racism, Xenophobia, Misogyny, Bullying, Sexual Assault, Bigotry, Tyranny and every other thing appalling.
A win for Donald Trump was a rude awakening that majority of Americans would rather see a very horrible, inept man lead the country than a very capable, humane woman.
A win for Donald Trump is a reminder that so many Americans are not as appalled by sexism, racism, xenophobia, bullying, sexual harassment as any decent person would be. [Read more…]
As much as I try not to be so bothered with the ignorance displayed by fellow Nigerians daily, sometimes some things come up that one can’t in good conscience ignore because they are issues too important to ignore. The online assault on Miss Anambra by the homophobic, ignorant, religious extremist Nigerian mob is one of these issues. Now I must put my two cents in.
Since the alleged sex tape of Miss Chidinma Okeke, the winner of the 2015 Most Beautiful Girl in Anambra pageant competition, was leaked, there has been heated debate, fury, condemnation and all sorts of righteous silliness.
The sex tape showed Miss Anambra sexually pleasuring herself with a cucumber in the company of another lady, identified as her friend, Miss Adaobi Nzekwe, who was also a beauty queen, third runner up of the face of democracy, Anambra, 2014.
The tape was released without the consent of Miss Chidinma Okeke. She initially came out to state that she was not the one in the video and that the sex tape was released as a revenge porn. It was also alleged that she was drugged and the video filmed under duress. If the video was filmed under duress and she was drugged, this must be totally condemned. Forcing women to make porn videos to use as a sort of hold or collateral against them is horrible.
In a message posted on her Facebook page Chidima Okeke wrote- [Read more…]
October 10 is World Mental Health Awareness Day and the theme this year is ‘Dignity in mental health – psychological and mental health first aid for all’. As we celebrate Mental health awareness day today, remember, nobody is immuned to mental illness. Nobody chooses to be mentally ill. Mental illness can affect anyone at any age or stage in life. The fact that mental illnesses are mostly not visible does not mean they are less serious than physical health issues.
Sadly, people who are diagnosed with mental illness are not often given the adequate treatment needed. Cuts in healthcare services are not helping matters as many are left without the necessary services they need to cope with mental illness. Also, many cases of mental illnesses remain undiagnosed because of lack of access to health care, stigmatisation and sometimes, outright denial due to shame and embarrassment.
It is sad that while we can easily access First Aid for physical health issues, same cannot be said for mental health crises. Many of us know how to provide First Aid to someone having a heart attack or who has suffered a physical injury, but not many of us have a clue what First Aid to render to someone suffering a mental health breakdown. Workplaces make sure to provide First Aid [Read more…]