We are made of stardust; be the star of your life.
Life is a beautiful gift, make the most of it.
Happy 41st Birthday to me!
So, another guy decided to tell me what he wants me to do with my body to please his eyes. Never mind that i hardly knew him. Never mind that the few interactions i had with him on social media were about him as an African-American reaching out because he wanted a better understanding on some issues especially as it affects Africa and Africans. Never mind that i treated him with utmost respect, taking time to answer his questions and i thought the respect was mutual. But alas, he was just another man who refused to understand that telling a woman what to do with her body, to please their ‘manly gaze’, is just totally wrong.
Well, he decided to express his displeasure with my weight loss. He sent messages to my Facebook inbox , starting with a disgusted face sticker, cos well, words weren’t enough to express just how disgusted he was that i lost my ‘meaty’ figure! [Read more…]
When my dear Facebook friend all the way from America sent me a link in my inbox with the message “London, we have a problem.”, I opened the link with a bit of trepidation and was confronted with a shady headline “Study Finds That People Who Post Gym Selfies Have A Psychological Problem “
The article went on to postulate about some dubious research it never linked to. The article reads
Some people have to let the whole world know that they have been to the gym by means of Facebook posts normally accompanied by a selfie. It turns this could by due to an underlying psychological problem which causes them to become obsessed with taking selfies.
In a study conducted at Brunel University is was discovered that people who constantly brag about fitness tend to show narcissistic traits – This is a term for the psychological disorder where people gain pleasure from self admiration. This behavior usually results annoying vein posts such as “sun’s out, guns out” all over your timeline, the intention is to boost their own ego with comments and likes.
I call bullshit on this. [Read more…]
Some of us know we are.
Some of us don’t believe we are.
Some of us let society tell us otherwise.
Beauty comes in different colours, shapes and sizes.
What makes you beautiful is Not
Because you don’t know you are beautiful,
But because you simply are.
Do you; with or without make-up
Rock you; whatever your body size, shape or ability.
Celebrate your body; even if the society says you shouldn’t.
Flaunt these curves; even if they claim you aren’t beach ready.
Embrace and shower your body with Love.
Cos baby, You are You.
You Are Beautiful.
Background Music by One Direction – What Makes You Beautiful
Dating in this generation has a whole new meaning. It is all about choice or rather the illusion of choice, leading to confusion, pain, and a life wasted on swiping profiles for the next hit. This Facebook note by a Facebook friend, got me thinking about dating. As a single woman, i must say, i agree totally with his take on it. In this age of online dating, it is all about the illusion of choice and the uncertainty that comes with it.
Back when i was a teenager growing up in Nigeria, 20 something years ago, dating was not even a thing. You were either in a relationship with someone or you were not. It was straight to the relationship phase. Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy asks girl, “Will you be my girlfriend?”, if girl likes boy, she plays coquettish long enough to not appear desperate, then says yes, and bingo, they are in a relationship. No dating as it is known today, no testing the waters, that was done at the ‘eyeing her/him up’ stage. The courtship stage did not normally involve alone time together. Maybe time with friends and families where you both sussed each other out, until one of you makes the move. [Read more…]
I was out when I briefly saw the headlines for the Colorado shooting today; apparently, three people, including a police officer, have been confirmed dead and many more injured.
The shooter, now identified as Robert Lewis Dear, is a 57-year-old white man from North Carolina.
According to reports
“Lt. Catherine Buckley of the Colorado Springs Police Department said the gunman, described as wearing a long coat and armed with a rifle, gave up after officers inside the building shouted at him. He previously had been firing at police who entered the facility.
Buckley also said the unidentified man had brought “items” with him inside the building and left some outside, meaning officers had to make sure they were not “any kind of devices.”
“The man apparently began his deadly spree at the Planned Parenthood building, although it was not clear if his motive was related to the organization.
“We don’t have any information on this individual’s mentality, or his ideas or ideology,” Buckley said.
Interesting how they are not eager to jump to conclusions about this shooter’s ideas and ideology. This is white cis [Read more…]
What better way to herald a new month than to dance away the pains, sorrows, regrets, betrayals, dashed hopes and disappointments of the past month. What does not kill us makes us stronger.
As I wrote in my poem: ‘Chin Up and Weather the Storm’
With pressure, we appreciate more our treasures
Stricken down, rise up and look beyond the snares
This too shall pass for nothing stays the same
When it is all falling apart, just stay strong
Chin up and weather the storm!
Winter might be upon us but nothing is going to take away my sunshine.
As Albert Camus said-
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.
Nothing lifts my spirits better than good music and the liberty to dance to my favourite tunes whenever I feel like. Music and dance are the choice flavour of my body and soul!
Here is to all Survivors; keep surviving and live life the best you can. Enjoy my dance video!
I am especially looking forward to starting a new job as a union organiser with one of the largest trade unions in UK. I missed being a full time trade unionist and I am so looking forward to working with union activists and organising workers again!
I started working for the labour movement in my early twenties and with the responsibility of fighting for workers’ rights came many opportunities to see the world from different angles. The views can be very depressing especially when it comes to class stratification, oppression, exploitation of labour, crass capitalism and its uneven division of wealth built on the backs of the long-suffering majority who toil every day to earn a living wage but never get to enjoy the wealth created by their labour. However, sometimes the view can be very exhilarating, especially when the voiceless find their voices through union organising, and against all odds, conquer to achieve great successes, fuelled by strength in unity and propelled by hope in a better tomorrow, while demanding for a better today. The last few years of my 30s were pretty challenging, mostly due to having to start afresh in a new, unfamiliar environment as a single parent with a teenage son who was about to enrol in college. I did not plan to be an immigrant in UK or anywhere else, but sometimes, even though we have our life already neatly planned, circumstances beyond our control could force us to depart from our schedule.
Leaving behind a comfortable life and job security to start afresh in a strange land was not an easy decision to make. [Read more…]
I was working out at my gym when two gym regulars decided to strike up a conversation with me.
Gym regular (Male) – You have lost a lot of weight
Gym regular (Female) -Yeah, I told her so too.
Me – Oh, yeah, thanks, the hard work is showing.
Gym regular (Male) – I am sure your husband will be happy
Me – I don’t have a husband. I am single
Gym Regulars – What, you mean you are single? [Read more…]
It is so cringeworthy when people tell me i am beautiful and I accept it at face value with a nod to my own beauty but as a reward they want me to grovel at their feet or expect I say something self-devaluing like “Oh no, you are just being nice, I am not all that.” Of course, i am all that and much more too, thanks for the observation!
I woke up this morning to this awesome video by Daysha Edewi titled “What If I Knew I Was Beautiful”. My fb friend had commented on the video on Facebook and tagged me and I went, “OMG, this video is so me!” [Read more…]
Every day, the divide between the Rich and the Poor widens, few overpaid workers, some well-paid workers and many underpaid workers. On this special day, please spare a minute to remember the millions of unemployed people; many made redundant by the many budget cuts. Many unemployed people are desperately seeking to enter the workforce, to keep a roof over their heads, put food on the table for their children and struggling to pay bills. Underpaid workers and the unemployed bear the brunt of nasty government policies.
Help turn on the light at the end of the tunnel for many unemployed people left struggling to make ends meet due to economic downturn, corporate greed, redundancy and many avoidable budget cuts. Together We Can! [Read more…]
Lately, there has been no end to the bad news making the rounds so much that watching the news has become depressing. Nepal suffered an earthquake that killed thousands with many entombed in their own houses, hotels and museums. More than half a million people have been rendered homeless. The earthquake also triggered an avalanche that hit Mount Everest leaving many seriously injured and some dead.
One cannot even begin to imagine the terror those people must have felt in their dying hour. It is heartwrenching to see the pains on the faces of the victims’ families as they confront the galling reality that their loved ones are buried underneath all that rubble and their bodies might never be recovered for proper burials.
The pains etched on the faces of survivors tell stories of horrors and gratitude. It seems, in the midst of the sorrows, pains, deaths, and survival; we still must celebrate life. Every life saved amidst these ruins is a cause for celebration. Every dead body pulled out is a cause for sorrow.
To die in such horrific and agonising manner is painful to imagine. In most cases, death really is not as much the problem as the manner and cause of it. [Read more…]
Some time ago, I broke my waist or thought I had, and excruciating lower back pain sent me running to my doctor.
I wondered why my waist could no longer support my big bums. After MRI scans and prescribed painkillers, it turned out; it was just some muscle strain probably from my gym workout. As it turns out, pulled muscles can be very painful. For a minute, I was convinced i had a mild stroke in my sleep, until my doctor put my mind to rest! Now, i know better than to lift heavy weights or do some strenuous cardio at the gym. I am definitely not taking any body-parts for granted again.
Many of you were concerned and some of my Naija friends recommended the local sprain and strain ointment, aboliki, which was actually very effective! I also promised that as soon as I was up and well again, I would make another dance-exercise video. Since I always make good on my promise, here it is!
Dancing to one of my favourite songs of all time was indeed fun and the sequinned Santa cap i got it at 99p shop came in handy as a dance prop!
I think my waist is at least 95% back to normal, therefore i consider my waist healed. What do you think?
I am glad to be back in good health, grateful to be able to shake my bums again and of course rock my curves!
Here is a toast to good health and Happy Holidays!
Like many West Africans, I was aghast when I saw the picture of what Jamie Olivier tried to pass off as Jollof rice. Twitter was set ablaze by the righteous fury of West Africans, protesting the audacity of an international white celebrity chef, who dared to plagiarised (and badly so too), West Africa’s much beloved dish, Jollof Rice. To an outsider, this might seem like much ado about nothing, but hey jollof rice is not just any rice, it is a national treasure, a national signature, and as #Jollofgate fury has proved, it is an African pride. Touch our Jollof rice; we will come at you with united fury! [Read more…]
In my part of the world, every advice seems to be followed by some supposedly wise sayings. African societies have rich collections of very good proverbs, but those proverbs are being relegated to the background in favour of some suspiciously evangelical ‘wise’ sayings.
These supposedly ‘wise’ sayings do get on my nerves. Some of these sayings are so common that I am beginning to think perhaps people just say those things from force of habit, without actually thinking them through.
In particular, I hate ‘wise’ sayings that attach a reason to why we need to help others. For example:
Do we really need a reason before we extend a helping hand to someone in need? [Read more…]