I woke up a 2am last night, and I couldn’t get back to sleep. I also didn’t feel like getting up. I know the reason: today is the first day of classes, and I always feel some low-level anxiety before getting up in front of 30 strangers and talking for an hour. The one thing I’ve learned in 45+ years of this business is how to hide it.
I’m really good at concealing the fact that my guts are writhing and my brain is whirling and I’m sure I’ll forget what I’m supposed to say as soon as I step up to the lectern. I just refuse to let it show.
Also, don’t you dare tell me to imagine my audience naked — these are 19-20 year old students, the thought of that would send my anxiety through the roof and also would be morally wrong.
PZ, I had the same experience every semester for 48 years of teaching. Especially with a large class (mine were often 400+) there are a million things to think about and take care of before that first lecture. I never slept well, even though every first day of class went very well every single semester – I just couldn’t convince myself there was nothing to worry about.
But then, I slept VERY well the next day! Best Wishes, Ken.
I’ve been teaching since dinosaurs roamed the earth, and I still get nervous before class. In fact, I’m sitting here watching the clock count down to my Physics I class in 35 minutes, wondering if I can remember all the tidbits and anecdotes I didn’t explicitly put in my notes. So… I know exactly what you mean.
It’s clearly a common experience. I also invariably sleep really badly before the first session of an academic year, despite the fact that decades of experience tell me that it will be absolutely fine the moment I start talking to that class.
Here’s something that works for me-just imagine you’re up there in front of all those people in nothing but your underwear.
No, no, that’s my nightmare — that my pants fall down mid-lecture.
So that shouldn’t be a worry if you don’t put on your pants in the first place.
Anyway, how is “imagining your audience naked” suppose to alleviate anxiety?? I’d be freaked out being the only one clothed!
Someone should do an experiment: Tell a nervous speech giver to imagine their audience naked and secretly instruct the audience to show up naked to see what happens.
I retired a few years back after 40 years as a college prof (engineering). Other than the first couple of semesters that I taught, I never had anxiety before the first lecture of the term. For new students, I figured that they didn’t know me or the material, and they would be the nervous ones in the room, so one of my goals was to put them at ease. It was also important that I made clear the ground rules and expectations. In contrast, for returning students in more advanced classes, they already knew me and I already knew them, so let’s just pick up where we left off.
Maybe the lack of anxiety is because I never tried to memorize a script for any of many lectures. I think that path is death. My lectures were always well planned; I knew what I wanted to cover, how we were going to get there from where we are now, and how it’s going to lead into the next bit; but trying to memorize all of the details in a specific order would be stifling. You wouldn’t wind up with a natural conversation with your students. Instead, it would be dull, boring, and lifeless. Not a good start to any form of human relationship.
I had an 8th grade teacher who bragged about once having her skirt fall off and just continuing to teach that lesson without it. It may have been part of her intro boilerplate. Conveyed confidence to the present class.
Imagine them in kawaii kigurumi onesies instead?
I was never a teacher/professor, but it did many presentations to work colleagues. I once did a presentation about my “Journey” with the company I worked at for over 40 years. Those business presentations, including the personal “Journey” one, never caused me any anxiety. When COVID came along in 2020, we all worked from home so in those WebEx sessions people could have easily been butt naked from the waist down.
However, I play guitar and sing. I’ve done that in front of rooms full of people. Also, many years ago I performed as the underground comic character, Zippy the Pinhead, on the street at bookstores, and even the (old) World Trade Center. But, a few years ago I developed extreme performance anxiety so that playing music in groups is very difficult for me to handle.
#12 Zippy the Pinhead is the Greatest. Comic. Strip. Ever. (I’d die on that hill.) I can’t imagine how you portrayed him in live theater, so to speak! Bravo.
You’re missing an obvious trick – imagine your audience as naked spiders. I’m sure that you can easily come up with 30+ different species, so that each individual student can be a unique spider.
In fact, I think it would be weirder and more difficult to imagine them as clothed spiders. You know spider anatomy, but coming up with imagined tailoring to cover their imagined bodies is probably too much work.
Spiders would dress in silk.
Yeah.
I wonder how naturists / nudists* cope in those circumstances? Do they imagine their audience clothed instead?
See :
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naturism
WARNING some possibly NSFW photos there esp given USoAite prudishness.
If memory serves I think there was at leats one Christianist cult – Adamites – that believed nudity was sacred or something and that prayers should be made in the nude too?
^Dóh! Hit ‘submit instead of preview – & yes :
Source : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adamites
Still a much less skeevy and better alternative idea for tackling nerves could be to imagine the audience in clown suits instead perhaps?
The night before my first teaching class of the year was filled with anxiety dreams, the most common ones being an inability to find the classroom and my old favorite for almost any nerves-inducing situation, a need to pee and no restroom to be found.