Accents and the Tragedy of Self-Hate

I recently started Video blogging and with it came the barrage of opinionated comments on my looks, appearance and quite interestingly, my accent! YEMMY IN JAPAN

I have never been self conscious about my accent.  I started making guest appearances on National TV programs almost two decades ago as a young human rights activist and vocal feminist. I remember the first time I appeared on one of the ‘posh’ Women’s programs which at the time passed as a ‘feminist’ TV show, I was immediately approached after the show by the popular presenter who told me, “Yemisi, you were really brilliant on the show, it would be great if we could get you to lose the accent”. Well, it happened that the presenter also ran a ‘Finishing school’ for girls … hmm do not ask me why a “feminist’ TV show presenter had a “Finishing school for girls’’… well, this is Nigeria we are talking about, and feminism, like many assumed “imported” ideology comes with its colonial baggage!

Anyway, she was so impressed with myyemy ituc points but not so impressed with my accent that she offered me a free session in her ‘Finishing school’ to get rid of my accent. I remember asking her why I would want to be rid of my accent. I mean, I wasn’t self conscious about my accent, especially since Nigeria is a diverse country with many local dialects and accent is one of the ways you immediately identify where a person is from.  Well, the young me was told that getting rid of my accent would be great for my profile, I declined her ‘priceless’ offer and  insisted that  I’d rather keep my accent as it is an integral part of my identity.

That was almost two decades ago. I have since gone ahead to speak at many national and international events, sometimes with heads of states and diplomats present. I have made a few speeches at UN meetings, appeared on a live televised round table debate with former British Prime Minister Tony Blair and some other world leaders, but I never for a minute felt self conscious about my accent, and well, my audience never really complained and they mostly seemed to appreciate what I had to say. Shows you should choose your audience well!

with Ghana president, Kuffour YEMMY AUSTRIAM PM

However with the uncontrolled audience that YouTube, Facebook and other online social networks attracts, I have recently been faced with so many malicious comments attacking my Yoruba accent. And funny enough or rather very unfortunately, 99.9% of these comments are from my country people who have similar accents! I couldn’t help but wonder why people would hate themselves so much as to believe that their accent is inferior? I have noticed this phenomenon is not peculiar to Nigerians alone.


In 2009, while studying for my Masters degree in UK, I was part of a student exchange program between my UK University and an Indian university. I was the only black student in a group of white students. I noticed that the first thing most, if not all, of the Indian lecturers did was to apologize for their accents!  I thought that was unnecessary if not outright pathetic. I mean, I paid some serious money for a Masters degree in a UK university, none of the very white, very accented lecturers ever bothered to apologize to me for their British accents, rather, whenever I ventured to speak in the class (and yes, I couldn’t be kept shut), I at least, made sure I spoke slowly enough for them to get the gist of my comments but did they ever extend such courtesy to me?  Hell no! And I am pretty sure the exchange lecturers in UK did not apologize for their British accents to the exchange Indian students sitting in UK classrooms. So why did the Indian lecturers feel they had to  apologise profusely for their local accents to the exchange, mainly white students group? Well, somehow I knew (don’t ask me how!) that even though I was a member of that group, they weren’t apologising to my black ass for their Indian accents!

In fact, the default setting is, being an English speaking white person means ‘No accent’ and if at all, it is considered a ‘superior’ accent to what is coming out from a brown or black  person’s mouth! Of course having only lived in UK for 4 years, I am still trying to identify the myriads of British accents; from the Manchester accents, to the Lancashire, to the Scots, to the… oh forget it! Yet, I am by default, the one who is supposed to apologize for my accent because I am black and from Africa. Nope, there is no need for apology, we all have our accents and none is superior to the other.


From good old wikipieda ( link here )

Accents and dialects vary widely across Britain; as such, a single “British accent” does not exist.

Non-native pronunciations of English result from the common linguistic phenomenon in which non-native users of any language tend to carry the intonation, phonological processes and pronunciation rules from their mother tongue into their English speech. They may also create innovative pronunciations for English sounds not found in the speaker’s first language. Local accents are part of local dialects. Any dialect of English has unique features in pronunciation, vocabulary, and grammar. The term “accent” describes only the first of these, namely, pronunciation.

Among native English speakers, many different accents exist. Some regional accents are easily identified by certain characteristics. Further variations are to be found within the regions identified below; for example, towns located less than 10 miles (16 km) from the city of Manchester such as Bolton, Oldham and Salford, each have distinct accents, all of which form the Lancashire accent, yet in extreme cases are different enough to be noticed even by a non-local listener.

The main tragedy is that following my video posts, the myriads of hate comments deriding my accent are not from people of different culture but mainly from persons of my own culture, my home country, my hometown!  Below are examples-

“Double lol!!! Bisexual Yemisi Ilesanmi’s got a terrible English accent… which suits her lifestyle I suppose. *tut tut* I thought she was polished, but now I’ve seen this video, *smh*”

(Comment made by a Nigerian woman on my video interview posted on a mutual friend’s facebook wall. She obviously hates the fact that I am Bisexual and Atheist! And, she’d rather talk about my accent than the content of my interview. Her comments were dead giveaway of how much she loathes her local accent.


“You cannot slap some sense into Bishop Oyedepo cuz you don’t have any sense. Instead of you to spend your time learning how to speak proper English, you’re here making a mockery of yourself with your H factor and inability to pronounce words right. I suggest you take your alien looking ass and put it somewhere away from the cam.” 

(Comment from a Nigerian man on my YouTube video ‘Slap some sense into Bishop David Oyedepo’, the commenter forgot or hates the well known fact that the main distinguishing factor of the Yoruba accent is its heavy emphasis on H in spoken English). And what was that about alien looking ass? lol!

“Ello! My name is Yemisi… and today… I Ham very Hangry!” 

(Comment left on my YouTube Video ‘Slap some sense into Bishop David Oyedepo’ by another Nigerian who hates his local accent!)


It really is a tragedy that so many people are still under the chains of mental slavery. The belief that you are not good enough unless you are white, rich and skinny and speak English through your nose is still prevalent amongst many Africans.

Some actually thought such comments about my accent would offend me, but I just wonder why I should be upset because I have an accent that is unique to my place of birth and where I grew up. What is there to be ashamed of?  People who make such comments are ignorant and need to emancipate themselves from mental slavery.


This also got me thinking about some other things people have said to me which they thought were offensive but which I just took as a matter of fact or ignorance but definitely not as an offense. For example, during my first professional photo shoot as an aspiring plus size model, the makeup artiste, a  talented black woman was preparing to fix a pair of false eyelashes on me when I made the very honest comment that it was my first time of fixing false eyelashes. Well, she was aghast and she mockingly said, “Are you from the village?  I asked her why not fixing fake eyelashes should be associated with a villager’s behavior.  I just never felt I needed fake eye-lashes or nail extensions. I have naturally long nails therefore I never needed to have nail extensions, same with my lashes!  The horror of all horrors occurred when she was shaping my eyebrows and I said I do not use tweezers because I find it painful, I prefer “plastic shavers”. She shrieked and said “You are definitely a bush girl!!! She being a lovely lady immediately covered her mouth so no one but me could hear this “insulting” comment.  Being called a ‘bush person’ is like the ultimate insult to an African person especially an African woman. Only I didn’t take it as an insult, she was so remorseful after that I actually started wondering why I wasn’t offended or felt insulted!

SDC13241I explained to her that being from the ‘bush’ or village should not be seen as something to be ashamed of. I could choose to live in the bush/village if it made me happy. If I won the lottery today (fat chance of that happening since i don’t even play the lottery), first thing would be to buy a house in the countryside, and yes, to me, countryside are glorified villages.  Also, my not using tweezers is me putting my comfort first before fashion, and plastic shavers have done a pretty good job of shaving my eyebrows for decades, so if it isn’t broken, why try to fix or change it?


However, I got seriously thinking about why I wasn’t offended by such comments. Is it over-confidence? Is it because I was born in the city, grew up in the city and have had the opportunity to travel widely, visited all the continents that I do not find it offensive when someone out of the blues criticize my accents or call me a bush girl or not polished enough?

I think it is because I understand that many people, especially Africans are dying to ‘belong’, desperately seeking the approval of the ‘upper class;’ which itself means, the adoption of white culture and behaviors, which unfortunately many Africans still consider as superior to their native cultures.

Many have been brainwashed and are still under the yoke of mental colonization. They live under the unfortunate impression that they are inferior in their native environment, appearance or lifestyles; they consider themselves second class human beings. In such cases, I just shake my head and pity their ignorance.  Well; I actually go a step further by putting pen on paper and my face on YouTube to help educate such people to break free from the chains of mental slavery.
In a similar vein, I understand what Greta Christina was saying in her blog post “the ugliest of all atheists!”: #mencallmethings,  about how some people are more concerned about how a speaker looks especially when the speaker is a woman,  than what the speaker has to say.
She wrote “When I was speaking at the University of Chicago last week — awesome event, btw, thanks to everyone who put it together! — the event organizer showed me a publicity poster for the event, which had been graffittied. Next to my photo and under my name, someone had hand-written the words, “the ugliest of all atheists!”  Because that’s the important thing, isn’t it? When determining the worth of a writer or speaker or other public figure, the most important issue is whether said figure is nice-looking or ugly. It doesn’t matter if we’re stupid or smart, accurate or off-base, innovative or entrenched, boring or inspiring. What matters is whether random strangers find us sexually attractive.”

 In my case, I do get such feedback like, “Your  accent is horrible, just shut up” or “You look beautiful in that video, can we be friend?” Yuk… I just wonder how I would accept to be friends with someone who sat through a video I took the time to make about a topic dear to my heart and all he or she could say was “You look beautiful and sexy!”  I mean, what happened to the topic I was discussing? Not interesting, beautiful or sexy enough?

Why bother to even discuss this? Hmm…I have taken the time to address this because some feel it is a way of attacking my person. They actually think pointing out that I have an accent is an insult! It is like someone telling me I am Bisexual, pls tell me something new! lol!  The funny part is those mostly hauling the accent “insult” do not like the fact that I am so outspoken about my sexual identity and Atheism, they’d prefer I keep quite. Since they cannot discuss ideas, they settle on what they thought was an attack guaranteed to keep me silent. The tragedy is that it smirks of self-hate, since they are all from my home country and have accents too. I just had to rub it in their faces that no offense is taken and also do my good deed of the day by encouraging them to cultivate the habit of discussing ideas and stop discussing people.

Like Greta said  “The point isn’t that I’m not ugly. The point is that it shouldn’t matter.” I will go further and add-

The point isn’t that I’m not beautiful. The point is that it shouldn’t matter

The point isn’t that I’m not sexy. The point is that it shouldn’t matter.

The point isn’t that I’m not fat. The point is that it shouldn’t matter.

The point isn’t that I don’t have an accent. The point is that it shouldn’t matter.

For those that are ‘put off’ by my accent, especially those that actually share this beautiful Yoruba accent with me or speak with  Igbo or Hausa accent from my beloved country, Nigeria, listen carefully, read my lips if need be, PEOPLE HAVE ACCENTS, GET OVER IT!Yemisi ilesanmi speaking at the London 2010 pride

You should spend less time on self-hate and more time on listening and understanding the topic under discussion. It is said that great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events and small minds discuss people.
Deriding accents from your homeland accentuates your insecurities about yourself, your origin and your identity.

Disparaging the accents of people different from you shows how ignorant you are of the diversity of the world you live in. Such comments won’t hurt the discerning, it only draws attention to your self-hate and ignorance.

Everyone has an accent, learn to respect yours and others will respect you. You are free to adopt another accent if it made you feel good but do not look down on those hanging on to their accents. Learn to appreciate and enjoy the beauty in diversity.

You do not always have to blend in, you can stand out.

You do not always have to crave to ‘belong’.You can make people appreciate where you already belong.

Do not wallow in self stigmatization, Stop your self-hate!



  1. says

    I kind of hate my accent, but mostly because it’s so plain.

    Of course, as I understand, what I hear in a plain accent is unique and interesting to someone else who doesn’t come from wherever I’m from. And my dialect completely pins me to my home location (there are few places in the United States where you say “needs fixed” instead of “needs to be fixed”)

  2. NitricAcid says

    I would never apologize for my accent when I’m home, because this is the way people talk around here. If I was teaching in England, or somewhere where my Canuck accent was a rarity, I would probably start the course with an apology and an explanation.

  3. smrnda says

    Thanks for pointing out that everybody has an accent; whether people are hard or easier to understand is really just a question of what accents you’ve heard in the past. I can definitely understand Nigerians easier than I can some other Americans, but it’s just that I’ve probably met more Nigerians than Americans from say, Mississippi.

    I’ve never made much of an effort to eliminate my accent, mostly since I think it would be futile, and I don’t want to waste the effort. I’d look at getting rid of my accent like getting a ‘make-over’ that would replace my fun and colorful thrift and vintage wardrobe with something bland and conformist and plain.

  4. John Morales says

    [OT + meta]

    Dennis Markuze is a true internet loon.

    (See comment #4)


    As to accents, I have a biggie (and, worst of all, I sound foreign both in Australian English and in Spanish, my native tongue).

    Far as I can tell, it’s only problematic when it (a) irritates people or (b) makes one hard to understand.

    (Your diction is quite clear to me, Yemisi, and it pleases me that you are proud of your African heritage)

  5. Pen says

    Hi Yemmy, please stick to your accent like glue. Perhaps you already know that there’s been a long and slow fight for the acceptance of different accents in Britain. From my father and many of his peers who had to take elocution classes in the 50s so they wouldn’t sound working class, to the protests of every single wave of immigrants we’ve ever had, and the slow fight to get national television to accept regional accents.

    Anyone can learn to follow a new accent as a listener much faster than anyone can learn to change their accent, so it’s obvious who the onus fall on.

  6. says

    You covered a few topics of interest (heck, you could probably do posts about each of them).
    I liked your comments about accents and public speaking. I live in Florida and frequently receive comments about my lack of any particular southern accent. It’s as if a lot of people expect everyone in the South speaks exactly the same dialect and with the same accent. Until reading this, I hadn’t realized the link between a “normal” accent and trying to fit in with the “cool kids” … i.e. those in power, those with the privileges in life. For many of those with power, be it money or influence, a tremendous amount of privilege exists that they benefit from. Many people want to be like that (heck, in the US, the near godlike nature of football players, movie stars, and musicians is at a ludicrous high). Thinking that you have to be like someone else to be more successful is the opposite of individuality. Conformity can be ok in limited amounts (depending on the situation), but trying to fit in or be more successful by conforming can come with a high price: a loss of what makes each of us unique.
    I think it is wonderful that you don’t try to be anyone but yourself. That sends a powerful message to others * (so does not caring about the ridiculous criticisms you get. If they can’t comment on the substance of your videos, they aren’t worth engaging.)

    *especially young women, who need to see positive role models of all shapes, sizes, colors, and worldviews.

  7. CaitieCat says

    Funny I didn’t see this one until after I’d complimented your use of English in the Woolwich post. Such a beautiful accent!

    I always laugh a little, inside, when I hear people saying they want to “lose their accent,” because what they basically mean is “I want to learn a different accent.” No one has no accent, because there is no such thing as a default form of any living or once-living language anywhere. There is no “normal” accent, anywhere.

    It’s very much a race/class issue, of course, because we interact with other human beings largely through the medium of language, and so it colours so much of what we present to the world, and how we are perceived through that medium. Pressure to assimilate is applied to anyone whose usage stands out from the norm in some way, through open or subtle ridicule, largely.

    I’m very glad to hear you’ve decided to retain your lovely idiolect (the linguistic term for the very specific form(s) of language that a particular individual uses). Our language is only ever made stronger by the more people from the more places who use it; it is a mongrel language, born in a dozen lands, raised by billions of hands.

  8. Yemisi Ilesanmi says

    @Katherine Lorraine, Tortue du Désert avec un Coupe-Boulon- Yeah, what you think as plain accent would most probably be seen as exotic by others not familiar with your kind of accent.

    @NitricAcid- I certainly wouldn’t apologize for my accent too, but I sure try to take my audience into consideration. The sad part is when homefolks with same accent as yours, wants you to speak through your nose because you’ve traveled to UK or America, even if you were abroad only for a day! If you don’t , well you lose reverence points. Sad but true.

    @smrnda- Exactly, plus i will feel so fake and silly trying to imitate a foreign accent all in an effort to appear posh. A counterfeit is never as good as the original. Why go to the trouble of faking it when I can introduce you to a whole new world?

  9. Yemisi Ilesanmi says

    @John Morales- Thanks, No 4 noted and will be henceforth marked as spam.

    Far as I can tell, it’s only problematic when it (a) irritates people or (b) makes one hard to understand.

    I think every accent has the potential to irritate those who are not familiar with it, even if one does not find the accent of another pleasing to the ears, it still is not a reason to ridicule the accent or the person.

    Many different accents are difficult to understand, I still watch many British and American programs with subtitles on. Even within my Nigerian community , with a population of 170 million people and thousands of different dialects, it is sometimes difficult to understand the accented English of a fellow Nigerian from another ethnic group.

    I think the key is in trying to communicate effectively both ways, which include being an attentive audience. No one should be ridiculed for their accent, i even fail to see how that is a basis for insults.

    I am glad my diction is clear to you, one less audience to worry about! 🙂

  10. Yemisi Ilesanmi says


    Perhaps you already know that there’s been a long and slow fight for the acceptance of different accents in Britain. From my father and many of his peers who had to take elocution classes in the 50s so they wouldn’t sound working class, to the protests of every single wave of immigrants we’ve ever had, and the slow fight to get national television to accept regional accents.

    It is so sad that people were forced to take elocution classes, many really had no choice if they hoped to move up the social ladder, they had to conform. Many parents who can afford it still force their children to take elocution classes. They are basically sending the message to their children that their accent and identity is inferior, they should shed it off and take on a new superior accent and identity,
    It is so silly that intelligence was, and in some cases still, tied to accents. A lot of work still needs to be done to emancipate ourselves from the residual chains of mental slavery.

    And yes, it is easier to listen attentively to an accent and understand it than to change one’ s accent. I play my part as an attentive audience when listening to foreigner’s accents, all i ask is the same courtesy be extended to me. I surely do not need to drop my accent to please another, no one should have to do that.

  11. Yemisi Ilesanmi says

    @Tony! The Virtual Queer Shoop- Thanks, my thoughts exactly. Losing your identity is a high price to pay for acceptance. We all have something unique, it is a diverse world and all the different spices makes the world a more interesting. Why kill off your own spice just to take on the flavour of another? Doesn’t make much sense.

    I know how ridiculous criticisms could knock one’s confidence, especially young women who could end up being silenced by such unfair criticisms. I do hope this post serves as a boost of confidence for anyone who needs it.

  12. Yemisi Ilesanmi says

    @CaitieCat -- Thanks, I’m glad you find my accent beautiful! 🙂

    Yes, I very much agree with you that there is no “normal” accent, anywhere.When we leave the enclave of our little corner of the world, most of the things we consider normal becomes abnormal and our accent is top on that ‘not so normal’ list.
    And yes, It’s very much a race/class issue. If only we place as much value on our identity as we place on others and vice versa, we would be a step closer towards embracing and achieving equality.

  13. raymills says

    What is wrong with your accent? Speaking as a NZer who gets asked what part of England I am from.
    I admit I find when watching time team I do find Phil’s accent and the amount of education he would of had and his accent diametrically opposed, but that is part of his ahem charm

  14. A Hermit says

    We’ve had a bit of a population boom in my home town in recent years, mostly immigrants. I love walking through the grocery store and hearing conversations around me in Spanish, Mandarin, Ukrainian, German and many accented English. It’s like music. So I love your accent too.

    And as a pasty white bald man I am insanely jealous of your hair.

  15. says

    Far as I can tell, it’s only problematic when it (a) irritates people or (b) makes one hard to understand.

    (a) is a matter of personal taste and I’m afraid you just have to suck it up. Me, i can’t stand a strong Bavarian German or for that matter Southern US accent, but that’s my problem. I also can’t stand lime green but that’s no reason for people to avoid that colour.
    (b) I need to get a bit into Sociolinguistics for that. Sorry, it’s all Yemisi’s fault but this is actually my main area of academic interest so yeah, I’ll try to be brief and concise
    There’s a study from 1959 (!)* that shows that intellegibility is actually mostly decided by prestige. The high-prestige accent is widely “understood” (actually, RP or GA accents when spoken by native soeakers are among the objectively harder to understand accents), while low prestige accent’s aren’t. Because you’re not expected to, make the effort, especially if you’re a member of the dominant group.
    It’s usually a matter of training (the more different accents you know, the easier you get acquainted with new ones) and your personal willingness to make the effort.

    The fact that people with similar non-privileged accents are more aware of them and also more critical to them is a well-studied phenomenon, too. Black Skin White Masks, anybody?
    And my increasing awareness of these issues has made me actually quite self-conscious at having an RP accent as a non-native speaker. I get lots of compliments for it when I actually know that it shouldn’t fuck matter.

    And personally, as a matter of taste, I love your accent, Yemisi

    *Wolff, Hans. 1959. Intelligibility and inter-ethnic attitudes. Anthropological Linguistics. 1(3): 34-41

  16. Maddie says

    I like other people’s accents… I don’t like my accent. In my country, my accent is associated with racism and stupidity, and I hate that. It’s not my choice to talk this way; that’s what happens when you spend most of your life in Georgia.

    I like the word “y’all” though, because English really needs a second person plural.

  17. Lola says

    Dear Yemisi,
    Let me start by saying I love you and I am a fan of all who are advocates of human rights for all beings. However, I must disagree with you on the basis that those who criticize your accent are haters or self haters. The problem here is not your accent but your lack of proper enunciation. The good news is that this flaw can be corrected. And those who have offered you help in this regard do not hate you or your accent.

    As a human right activist, you want to educate the masses and get your message across as eloquently as possible. Even as a Yoruba woman the pronunciation of your words are a distraction and hard on the ears. e.g. Hi Ham very Hangry. Yorubas do not speak as such. Please see this as a positive criticism and try to make changes because the world needs a courageous and brilliant person that you are. Peace and love to you.

  18. Yemisi Ilesanmi says

    @Lola Seeing that you sent me same message on my Facebook, which I have responded to before seeing your comment here, , I will just go ahead and repost my response to your message.

    Dear Lola,
    You wrote

    I am Yoruba and I do not speak English as carelessly as you do

    Is this the point I defend myself by saying I do not speak English carelessly? lol!
    What the heck makes you think I care to speak English, Yoruba or any other language the way YOU do?

    Whatever gave you the impression that you and I both share the same aspiration when it comes to how we speak English or any other foreign or local language?

    It seems you think the fact that we are both Yorubas gives you a kind of say in how i speak or present myself to the world. You definitely got that wrong cos I do not care about the corner of the planet you come from. I concern myself with actions and characters, not your place of birth or abode.

    You obviously overrated the weight of your opinion concerning any aspect of my life. Please learn to keep such patronizing opinions and unsolicited advice to yourself.

    To address your other unsolicited opinions --

    You wrote

    The good news is that this flaw can be corrected

    ROTFLMAO! Sorry to disappoint you, but I am not the one with the flaw, you are the one suffering from a serious residual mental slavery. If you think I should take elocution classes to improve my pronunciation when I have not got any speech impediment, then you really have a problem. It is basically same as suggesting I go for a cosmetic surgery to make myself ‘more beautiful’ to appeal to a larger audience. You have a problem, not me.

    You wrote

    And those who have offered you help in this regard do not hate you or your accent

    If you or any other person finds the way I pronounce my words not pleasing enough for your ears or grating on your nerves, it is your problem, not mine.

    BTW, I never said those who rant about my accent hate me, what I have made very clear in my blogpost titled ‘Accents and the Tragedy of Self-Hate’ ( is that those , especially Nigerians who complain about my accent, HATE THEMSELVES. They suffer from inferiority complex because they see their own accent as inferior to that of their former colonial masters. They view the way they pronounce words as not elegant or posh enough for foreign audience.

    No, this is not me shying away from criticism; this is me telling you to not impose whatever you think as a pleasing accent or enunciation on me. If you find it difficult understanding my video, which as a Nigerian, I do not think you would, then that is your problem to overcome, not mine. I speak in Nigeria and no one tells me they can’t understand what I say, but put it on YouTube suddenly every Nigerian wants you to change the way you normally speak and adopt a foreign accent and enunciation.

    I do not appreciate anyone imposing their fakery on me. What you see is what you get. If you don’t like I how speak, dress or look, you’d have to keep your advice along these lines to yourself, no matter how well meaning. It is such useless advice that makes many vulnerable people, especially women, doubt their own self worth. It is such people like you that go sending people they hardly know messages on how to lose weight thereby exposing vulnerable young women to anorexia. Today it is about my pronunciation, tomorrow it will be about something else. Word of advice, if you are not a medical doctor, my personal medical doctor, keep your bullshit about my perceived enunciation ‘flaw’ to yourself, your opinion is not wanted.

  19. Yemisi Ilesanmi says

    Lola Fash wrote

    What is it that makes you so spew out so much bitterness with folks who do not agree with you. Life is too short to carry around so much poison. Peace and love to you

    Then followed it up with

    As a person who has been discriminated against all your life, i can see how bitter you must be against humanity. But carrying so much venom around and spewing your poison against folks who means well is to your detriment. And even in spite of your toxins I wish you well. Peace and Love to you.

    The woman is sure obsessed with me! Na by force? lol!

    Lola Fash, You are the one with the poison. All I have told you is to keep that poison away from me. Also, keep it away from people who are likely to get burnt by your poison disguised as advice.
    Read my message again and the blogpost, if you have at least an average IQ, you will understand that it is not a case of bitterness against those who do not agree with me.

    It is not even as if you were discussing or disagreeing with any point in my videos.You left the substance of the videos to discuss something so petty as my accent or enunciation. This is very telling of your character. Remember the saying, great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events and weak minds discuss people.

    This is me telling you to keep your fakery and unsolicited advice to yourself.
    It is not a sign of bitterness when i tell you I do not need to change any part of me to please you, grow a brain!

    Life is too short to live my one life imitating others or live it to please others.

    Please stop sending me messages or you will get blocked. In fact, I am just gonna go right ahead and block you. I do not need your negativity or hypocritical half assed “peace and love”. My time is too precious to waste reading or responding to your air-headed diatribes. Get a life, woman, a REAL one. 🙂

  20. Ekuba says

    Thank you so much Yemisi & thank you for posting this on my wall today. I never thought of it this way before. I have been feeling so embarrassed about being bush/ local/ villager whenever people call me that but I didn’t realize that I had nothing to be ashamed of. My villager grandma sold foodstuff behind a Ghanaian court to take my mom to school which is why I’m now a lawyer today so why should I despise my village? I will never despise my village or my “local-ness” again. Thank you so much for this!

  21. Yemisi Ilesanmi says

    @Ekuba -- I am so glad you found inspiration in the blogpost. No one who seeks to actively put you down is a friend. When a fellow African tells us we look “local”, or “like a bush girl” just because we don’t fit into their acquired perception of western beauty or posh, we know such persons suffer from mental slavery.

    These hypocrites are the ones with the problem, not us.
    They are the ones who still carry along with them the shackles of mental slavery, not us.
    Embracing whom we are include embracing where we come from and where we are today. When we understand who we are and are comfortable in our own bodies, even the posh hypocrites will eventually understand that their attempted jibes at us only exposes their own insecurities.
    Stay happy, strong, bold and beautiful, sis.


  1. […] For example, 99% of those who harass me about my Yoruba accent on my YouTube Channel are fellow Nigerians. To them, their local accent is unpleasant and not civilized enough for YouTube videos. Some even go as far as sending me ‘advice’ on how to lose my accent and speak English with a foreign accent.. This is indeed a sad case of Accents and the Tragedy of Self-Hate. […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.