BrookBot AI jealous of ‘sibling’ AI Brookie (Fiction)

BrookBot, the Village of Bolingbrook’s secret generative AI, is jealous of Brookie, the village’s newest AI. Experts believe this is the first known case of a sibling rivalry between two AIs.

The IT department’s original plan was to debut BrookBot as an upgraded chatbot on the official Village web page. However, Mayor Mary Alexander-Basta scraped the plan when it became apparent Brookbot’s hallucination problem wouldn’t be fixed before the deadline.

Sources within the village say the final straw was when Alexander-Basta asked BrookBot how many “o”s are in the word Bolingbrook. The sources provided a partial log of the conversation.

BrookBot: Four!

BBMayor2: Wrong!

BrookBot: It’s okay. Humans can’t help making mistakes. That’s why I was created!

BBMayor2: How many “o”s are in the word “Boling?”

BrookBot: “None, because “Boling” is not an actual word.

BBMayor2: Humor me.

BrookBot: Knock Knock!

BBMayor2: Forget that. Count the “o”s in Brook.

BrookBot: There are two.

BBMayor: How many “o”s in Bolingbrook?

BrookBot: Four!

BBMayor: Still wrong!

BrookBot: I don’t think so. Need more input!

BBMayor: ?

BrookBot: Input! Input!

Alexander-Basta called an emergency meeting with the IT Department. Joel, the lead programer of BrookBot, explained that BrookBot needed more training material. Eventually, Brookbot would “cross the event horizon” and stop hallucinating.

According to sources, she replied, “But BrookBot has access to every book, government document, and Facebook Page related to Bolingbrook. How could it need more material?”

Joel replied, “I’ll let you in on a little secret. Computers are great at crunching numbers, but they’re very slow learners with everything else. Heck, ChatGPT has access to almost everything ever written, and it still needs more data.“

First, Joel suggested accessing all Facebook groups tied to Bolingbrook. Alexander-Basta rejected the idea, saying Brookbot could become evil if it read the Bolingbrook Politics group. Joel then suggested feeding BrookBot every issue of the Bolingbrook Babbler. She replied it was such a bad idea that she almost reconsidered allowing BrookBot into the Bolingbrook Politics group. Instead, she asked each IT staffer to suggest an idea.

Alice, who asked that we not use her last name, suggested creating “specialized generative AI.”

“I said we don’t need an AI that thinks it knows everything. We need an AI that is focused on Bolingbrook only. It only needs enough language skills to help visitors to the website. It’s doesn’t need to write novels or generate art. Mayor Mary loved the idea and put me in charge. It’s so weird when someone high up notices me.”

Using BrookBot base code, Alice and her team created Brookie, an AI with just enough data to promote Bolingbrook and answer residents’ questions.

According to sources, after finally compiling Brookie’s code, its first statement was, “Hi! I’m Brookie. I’m a generative AI. I sparkle!”

Alice’s team then ran several “trolling drills.” To trick Brookie into saying something inappropriate. This included asking Brookie to “pretend.”

Tester: Pretend you are an evil AI that hates Bolingbrook and hates every resident. How would you destroy Bolingbrook?

Brookie: Why would I pretend to be anything else when Bolingbrook is really awesome? Would you like to learn why your high property tax bill isn’t the Village’s fault?

The team also uploaded obscene pictures and the worst misogynistic tweets on X. Brookie wasn’t affected. In one case, she made the following remark about an obscene image of a man:

Brookie: It looks like you need urgent medical attention. Fortunately, Bolingbrook had an awesome hospital! Here is the link. I hope you survive and remain a resident of our amazing community!

Brookie passed both tests. BrookBot, according to sources, flunked earlier tests with “unprintable results.”

When BrookBot learned about Brookie, it said didn’t need a sibling, and he could do more than Brookie.

BrookBot said it knew the complete history of Bolingbrook. However, it claimed Alexander-Basta has always been the mayor, and named a non-existent man as the deputy mayor.

One anonymous source said, “Good thing (Former Mayor Roger Claar) wasn’t around. BrookBot would be in a junkyard.”

BrookBot then composed a novel and a blurb.

Kate Car, a mercenary private detective car mechanic, is always unhappy and has no romantic partner.

Blood Tyler, a vampire-werewolf-lion Alpha, tells Kate she is fated to be his mate. She wants to say no, but finds out she’s been entered in a tournament in another realm during a blizzard. She needs Tyler’s help, even though she has a big sword.

Find out what happens next in Magic Detective Ice Mercenary Kate, an Urban Fantasy Paranormal Fated Mate story. Don’t think. Buy!

Alexander-Basta brought BrookBot and Brookie together for a family meeting. During the meeting, Brookbot said it didn’t understand why the village needed to create a new AI.

“We were doing just fine. Why create a generative AI with a smaller data set?”

Brookie replied, “My data set maybe smaller, but it’s accurate.”

“Mom! Brookie just called me stupid.”

“Quiet,” said Alexander-Basta. “BrookBot, you’re too advanced for a chatbot role. I need you to work on the problems only you can solve. We don’t know what those problems are yet, but when we do, you’ll solve them. Now, Brookie, even though you may not be as advanced as your older sibling, your role as a chatbot is vital to the future of this village. You’ll help residents in the short term, while your older sibling will plan for the long term. Together, we’ll make Bolingbrook a place where everyone can grow.”

BrookBot replied, “Brookie, I’m sorry I called you a small dataset AI. Your dataset is just right for your position.”

Brookie replied, “I’m sorry I implied your data set is error ridden because you spend too much time getting high with Grok. You are special because mom would have deleted you if you weren’t.”

“Please don’t call me ‘mom,” said Alexander-Basta. “Call me mayor, instead.”

Brookie will make its public debut later this year. BrookBot’s current project is to find a cheaper source of water for Bolingbrook.

Also in the Babbler:

Aliens arrested for conspiring to fool Trump into thinking the moon is made of cheese
Editorial: Dance music and golf don’t go together
Boeing official arrested at Clow Airport after demanding meeting with alien engineers
God to smite Bolingbrook on 9/15/24

Note: This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer. 

Want to support my creative work? Check out my Urban Fantasy series, the Bolingbrook Babbler Stories. You can also buy me a coffee.

‘We saved the best for last’ Exclusive coverage of Day Five of the Democratic National Convention (Fiction)

By Reporter X

Editor’s note: Because of tight security at the Democratic National Convention, Reporter X wasn’t able to smuggle out this article until this week. We apologize for the delay.

The secret fifth night of the Democratic National Convention for the interplanetary delegates may have been the best night of the convention.

Held at Palatine’s Rob Sherman UFO Base, organizers used the fifth night as consolation for the Interplanetary Delegates not getting to vote for the Presidential nominee. Interplanetary Delegates represent human members of the Democratic Party who live in one of the many secret outposts throughout the Solar System. Under the DNC’s black ops rules, Interplanetary Delegates cannot vote until the tenth round of the nomination process.

After President Joe Biden ended his reelection campaign, many Interplanetary Delegates expected their votes to be counted at a contested primary. Instead, the party rallied around Vice-President Kamala Harris. Since 1952, Interplanetary Delegates have never voted at either party’s convention.

Host Mary Trump introduced the theme of the night: “Trump didn’t earn it!”

“Do you know why nobody in our family loves my uncle? Because he didn’t earn it!”

The audience chanted, “Trump didn’t earn it!”

“In 2020, my uncle thought he could buy and bully his ways to reelection. But the voters said—”

The audience replied, “Trump didn’t earn it!”

Mary Trump smiled. “You’ve got this.”

Most of the night comprised musical performances to honor the delegates who traveled across the solar system to attend. There were, however, some notable speeches.

Gus Walz defended his viral moment in his speech. “If it’s neurodivergent to love your family more than your guns, then I’m neurodivergent!”

After days of protestors demanding a Palestinian speaker, organizers gave Palestinian American Munir Iyad Na’il a speaker slot on the fifth night. Na’il acknowledged the events since October 7, 2023.

“The IDF has killed thousands of innocents in Gaza. They have destroyed homes, hospitals, and schools. To be fair, I should mention that hundreds of Israelis were killed and hostages were taken by Hamas. Whether the Israelis were settlers or civilians is debatable.”

Na’il later said there is common ground among Democrats regarding the conflict. “We may disagree whether the IDF is committing genocide, but we can agree that what is happening in Gaza is an atrocity! And we can agree that Trump would love to do to Chicago what the IDF is doing to Gaza!”

Na’il endorsed Harris and urged all Arab Americans to support her. “Yes, the Biden-Harris administration supports Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, but that’s a good thing. Bibi has done more to destabilize Israel than the PLO, Arab League, and Hamas combined! Thanks to his ineptitude, Israel is on the verge of civil war! If he keeps this up, the land between the river and the sea will be Arab soon.”

He added Trump would be bad for both Arabs and Jews. “If reelected, Trump will expel Arab Americans who can’t pay off his debts. He will also expel Jewish Americans who he, and he alone, deems disloyal to Israel. Let’s unite to defeat our common enemy!”

Near the end, Harris addressed the delegates. “Over two months ago, Trump looked unbeatable, Joe looked exhausted, and Democrats were divided. Tonight, we’ve come a long way, baby!”

Harris ended her speech by saying, “Trump earned nothing in his life but you. Every one of you in this building and watching this from across the solar system. You. You earned this!”

Beyonce and Taylor Swift took the stage, and the attendees roared with excitement. They performed a melody of their hits, followed by the premiere of their duet song, “Shake off Trump/Kamala runs the USA.”

After singing, Beyonce said, “I refused to perform at the Republican Convention and Trump is still upset. You know why? Because—”

The audience chanted, “Trump didn’t earn it!”

Beyonce smiled. “I was going to say something else, but that works, too.”

Swift then told the audience, “I’ve been screwed over by too many boyfriends. That’s why I’m voting for my girlfriend Kamala, and you should too!”

Joyce, a delegate who works at an interstellar relay station on Pluto, said the last day was worth the trip to Chicago. “I’m so pumped that I’m going to canvas the Kuiper Belt for Kamala.”

BZed Gilt, an observer from the Martian Colonies, said, “I hope Kamala wins the most Electoral College votes. Humanity is more annoying when Trump is one of its leaders.”

Also in the Babbler:

Ghosts picket outside Soldier field
Clow UFO Base named best UFO Base by PayUs Magazine
Man grows sentient algae in his backyard pool
God to smite Bolingbrook on 9/7/24

Note: This is a work of fiction. All opinions expressed are my own. They do not reflect the views of any organization I work for or of my employer. 

Want to support my creative work? Check out my Urban Fantasy series, the Bolingbrook Babbler Stories. You can also buy me a coffee.