Absurdities and Atrocities: #BabyOctopusNotHalfhumanHalfFish!

Wonders they say, shall never end. A Nigerian fish seller who lives in Ibadan, Nigeria, saw her fish evolve into half human half fish! The latest story goes thus:

 Strange Fish With Human Parts Causes Stir in Ibadan.

Hundreds of residents of Ibadan, Tuesday, rushed out to catch a glimpse of a strange fish which was said to have human parts at Asaka compound area of the city. The incident happened at Ile Akindele when a fish seller noticed the strange creature after removing the wrap of a frozen fish.

She said:

Before getting the fish out of the ice-pack, we needed to use knife to remove them and use water to de-freeze. I was shocked to see the frozen fish developed into a living being in the water, the description of which showed half human and half fish. I quickly called my father and some Alfas to see the strange fish”.

She screamed so loud the entire neighborhood rushed to see what the calamity was. Her father r15988_10201197211164216_1959934178_nan in, only stopping to pick his Quran to ward off whatever demons were chasing his daughter. Well, the daughter ran to her Imam for protection from the half fish half human. The tabloids and various Naija blogs revel in the story; they splashed this absurd picture of a half fish half human on their front pages. Never mind that the human half of the fish looks like the legs of a skinny white woman who probably was modeling on a beach for Victoria secrets. And well, the half fish part was an angry looking fish with sharp teeth.

How could people buy into the story of a half fish half human? The pictures were obvious Photoshop. I found the headline pathetic and the Photoshop a horribly bad job. I never even for a minute thought it would pass off as real pic to anyone with an average IQ. I mean if you have access to the internet and can actually read a newspaper, why would you in the first instance believe such cock and bull story? I thought it was obvious from the word go that this was just some joke and exaggeration for sales purposes. How can adults in their right mind believe mermaids, Santa Claus, elves, unicorns and half human half fish exist? 313007_508149709214487_498728519_n

How is this different from believing that a thief turned into a goat?  Now that is another story from my dear motherland, Nigeria, and it goes thus. A group of robbers were about snatch a car but they were almost nabbed by the police, they took to their heels. As the report goes, one of them right there and then, turned into a goat.  It was widely reported that the goat was arrested by policemen, and taken in for questioning. Now don’t ask me what happened to the poor goat, who got itself in a hot pot of soup (no pun intended) by being at the wrong place at the wrong time.

I mean how ridiculous could this get? Why should I be surprised, after all many believe that a virgin gave birth to their savior, that Noah’s ark contained a pair of all living beings and that juju can make a pregnant woman give birth to a snake. Ridiculous, I know, but do they?

It is said that anyone who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. In the frenzy generated by the false reporting of the incidence in the media and by irresponsible bloggers, this poor fish seller’s house was vandalized and her business ruined.

It was immediately tagged a spiritual matter and she was tagged a witch. Her means of livelihood is now gone because of her ignorance and the ignorance of people around her.

 The fish vendor, Mrs. Ramota Salawu, who first saw the octopus lamented her ordeal with some miscreants who insisted that she must produce the ‘mermaid’ she was hiding in her house.

According to her, the mob destroyed her property including her business. She denied seeing any mermaid as claimed by the surging crowd.

She said: “They beat my children and destroyed my property. I showed this creature to them that I never saw any mermaid.

“Even Osun river goddess adherents came saying they had to perform some rituals but I told them I was not an Osun worshipper and that I don’t know anything about mermaids. Later, the police had to rescue me from them.”

See-  http://www.vanguardngr.com/2013/07/ibadan-strange-fish-is-octopus-police/

34d222be Baby-Octopus

In a sane, informed and educated society, when people discover strange looking creatures or objects, they bring it to the attention of the appropriate authorities, scientists or just post it online so that specialists in that area can explain the mystery or even study it for better understanding, afterall it could be the next scientific breakthrough or the missing link in our evolutionary tree. But how does your average Nigerian reacts when in that situation? They run to their pastors, Imams, Babalawos and spiritualists for protection! How sad.

We smugly sit in our corner of the world thinking we are the only creatures on earth and anything that looked different from us must be evil. We run to our imams, pastors, babalawo and spiritualists to explain what we don’t understand instead of consulting our books. In this age of information, ignorance is a choice and knowledge is just a click away. Remember Google is your friend!

It is this attitude of seeking knowledge from spiritual leaders that have led many to castigate that which the422578_10150654291961873_639253793_ny cannot comprehend. In this modern age, silly as it sounds, many Nigerians still believe humans were molded from mud by a Skydaddy! I even pity them because the Yorubas for example even have a better creation myth than the ADAM AND EVE rubbish that was sold to them at gun point by their white missionaries. Now, if you don’t understand shit about evolution, and in spite of all the evidence surrounding you, you still believe that the world is 4,000 years old and created just for you by your Skydaddy, then I am not surprised you think you are the center of the universe and anything that does not serve your purpose is useless and evil.

  •  It is this illiterate mindset that has made your lawmakers pass a bill stipulating 14 years jail term for homosexuals and 10 years imprisonment for LGBT rights advocates. Your bigoted, illiterate minds applaud this decision. In your religious malady, you all come together in an orgy of feverish ignorance to castigate gays, stone lesbians and ridicule intersex.
  • It was the same ignorance that led a mob to parade, strip naked and almost lynch seven men accused of homosexuality in Imo state.
  • It is the same ignorance and hate that led to a mob to strip naked, parade and almost lynch an intersex in a market place.
  •  It is the same ignorance that led to the passing of the jail the gay’s bill by Nigerian law makers.
  • It is the same ignorance that led to the many hate comments and threat messages I receive daily from Nigerians who accuse me of being the anti-Christ because I don’t believe the blue eyed blonde Jew hanging on a cross is my personal saviour.
  • It is the same ignorance and hate that make some Nigerians claim I am worse than the Terrorist group, Boko haram because I am an out and proud bisexual
  • It is this hate and ignorance that make some Nigerians advocate that I should be arrested at the airport and stoned to death stoned because I dare to assert that Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, Trans and Intersex are entitled to human rights.
  • It is this same ignorance that led Nigerian to call me a witch because I condemned the slapping of a young girl by their darling spiritual father, Bishop David Oyedepo.

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Nigerians, go fucking read an educative, enlightening book and no, I don’t mean your archaic Bible or Quran, go read a book of facts not fiction!

You will continue to believe such stupidity when it is served to you because you have failed to educate your mind.

You will continue to run to your pastors, imams and babalawos because you have been brainwashed and are too lazy to free yourself from mental slavery.

You will continue to believe that your problems are caused by witches and wizards because you are too lazy to analyze the situation. Afterall it is easy to blame your economic woes on that wrinkled, poor, old woman in your neighborhood, your sinister step mother, that orphan in your house that you are using as house help, because, well it is easier to beat up your house girl in the name of casting out demons than it is to beat up your politicians and change your government in the name of a revolution.

Yes, those who can make you believe absurdities will make you commit atrocities, go fucking get educated. If your government won’t give you accessible, quality education, do something about it. Nope, I don’t mean go and light a candle in your church, I don’t mean go and pray on your knees, I mean you fucking get on your feet and demand a change. Watch what is happening in the world, consult your history books and learn about the Aba women riots and the civil liberty movements. 407171_2699056189303_1043602147_2867789_1434976931_nLearn to use social media like facebook , YouTube and twitter for something positive instead of asking people to share the picture of Jesus and type Amen!

Stop believing the myths you were fed with, it is time to grow up, there is no Santa Claus, there is no half fish-half human, gays are not demons, intersex are not evil personified, murdering a hunchback or albino won’t make you rich and NO, raping a virgin won’t cure your HIV/AIDS. Snap out of your ignorance, stop being so self-centered, this universe does not revolve around your needs and you are just a teeny-weeny, tiny dot on this universe. This planet earth was not created for you by your sky daddy, it is not even all that suitable for human existence, after all it is 70 percent water and most of it salt water too.

Yeah, just like the half-human half -fish, your sky daddy does not exist, GET OVER IT.

Now can you please stop that nonsense of persecuting Lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transsexuals? Before you vandalize the house of that gay activist, rape that lesbian, ridicule that intersex, jump for joy because your lawmakers imposed a 14 year jail term on gays, lesbians, bisexual and trans, Go get educated. If your politicians make quality education impossible, why not consider beating the demons out of your politicians. It is called a revolution.


  1. Pen says

    Wow Yemmy, that was impressive. This is a triviality -- the other day I coming out of the station and as usual there was a woman addressing the public on the pedestrian square in a loud voice. She was talking about our various socio-economic difficulties and the need for acting together and community and so on and for just those few minutes, I really thought (hoped) it was going to be about politics this time, not religion. I reckoned if it was, I was going to go and stand there and applaud at the very least. No such luck of course, a while later, the name of Jesus Christ came up with extra volume. She just held off longer than usual, in a way she wasn’t very good at god-bothering. I found it sort of depressing, considering that praying together would be about as effective as that fish up there looks to be a good swimmer. Paradoxically though, she did give me a moment of hope because I got a glimpse of just how powerful a political message she could have delivered if she dropped the religion aspect. While I’m waiting for better public speakers in our pedestrian area, I’ll just have to come here and applaud you instead!

  2. F [is for failure to emerge] says

    Mind-blowing, both the stories and your response. It completely floors me that not only do people believe such stuff, but that they take such actions over nothing. Particularly when the claims made involve something that was actually observable at the time!

  3. notyet says

    I understand your anger completely. The farther that I get from religion, the angrier it makes me when I see what the self imposed ignorance that it espouses (proudly displayed by its adherents) leads them to believe. The message here is simple; if you only read one book, you are not going to be able to distinguish fact from fallacy. A thousand years ago the skills passed on from your parents (farming, trapping, a simple trade) and the lessons from “the good book” were sufficient to survive. It amazes me that so many people refuse to accept that this is no longer the case. I see some hope for the future. The internet is making ignorance more difficult to sustain, but it is taking far longer than I had hoped, and as long as unscrupulous men can maintain power by keeping their followers in the dark (like,for instance, the pope) hundreds of millions will continue to suffer.

  4. Yemisi Ilesanmi says

    @Pen- if half of these pedestrian preachers are as fired up about humanitarianism as they are about telling strangers they will go to hell if they do not accept Jesus as their personal saviour, there would be better hope for humanity. So much passion wasted on fear mongering.

  5. Yemisi Ilesanmi says

    @F [is for failure to emerge]0- Religion and its attendant spirituality makes people fear that which they can observe and that which they cannot readily observe. The one that appears strange and different gives room for suspicion and its mystery,an opportunity for spiritual interpretation. I won’t be surprised if this lady and her family had to pay ‘Alfas’ to perform spiritual cleansing of their household even after the ‘mysterious’ half fish half human has been explained as a baby octopus. The Alfas will still milk their fear for their own personal enrichment. And the bottom line would be, it was an evil plot designed by a business rival to ruin her business and reputation. Yes, there will already be fingers pointed at some of her business ‘rivals’ and some friendship would be on the line. Pity.


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