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And the award for the most stupid PhD Research goes to Chibuihem Amalaha for his unscientific proof that samesex marriage is wrong!

“Nigerian Student Uses Magnets To ‘Prove’ Gay Marriage Is Wrong”050913F.scientifically-prov

 I know, I know, I know. It is beyond embarrassing. It would have been just a stupid, funny entertainment show if it was not such an indictment on Nigeria’s educational system. With all the messages I am getting about this ludicrous assertion, it seems I have no choice but to make a blog-post on it. *sighs*

 A student of University of Lagos studying Chemical Engineering at the School of Post Graduate Studies, Chibuihem Amalaha, has used science to prove that gay marriage is improper among other breakthroughs, writes Charles Ajunwa, in ThisDay Newspaper.

 In recent time I found that gay marriage, which is homosexuality and lesbianism, is eating deep into the fabric of our human nature all over the world and this was why nations of Sodom and Gomora were destroyed by God because they were into gay practice. That is, a man marrying another man and a woman marrying another woman.

 First and foremost, someone needs to sit this guy down and explain to him that gay marriage or rather same sex marriage is not the same as Homosexuality or Lesbianism. Marriage is a social institution; Homosexuality is a type of sexual orientation.

 Also, what was all that nonsense about Sodom and Gomorrah? Should we even need to tell any high level science student that God has no place in scientific research? Was the science lab a reconstruction of the fables and myths in the Book of Bible Stories? Was he not told to keep his God delusions out of laboratories?

 When a scientist uses God to justify or validate research, it is a clear sign that the person has no idea that science is different from fiction and any attempt to mix the two would end up as science fiction for kindergartens. Or at best, Weekend entertainment at a comedy club. Such a person should never be referred to as a scientist.

 Chibuihem Amalaha ‘Scientific proof’ that same sex marriage is wrong goes thus:

 The Wrong Act of Gay Marriage

In the area of physics, I used physics with experiments, I used chemistry with experiments, I used biology with experiments and I used mathematics to prove gay marriage wrong.

 Don’t get bored yet, read on.

 The Physics of Gay Marriage

To start with, physics is one of the most fundamentals of all the sciences and  I used two bar magnets in my research. A bar magnet is a horizontal magnet that has the North Pole and the South Pole and when you bring two bar magnets and you bring the North Pole together you find that the two North Poles will not attract. They will repel, that is, they will push away themselves showing that a man should not attract a man.

 Don’t gouge your eyes out yet, there is more.

Even in physics when you study what is called electrostatics, you found that when you rub particles together they don’t attract each other but when you rub particle in another medium they will attract each other. For example, if you use your biro and rub it on your hair, after rubbing, try to  bring small pieces of paper they will attract because one is charged while the other one is not charged. But if both of them are charged they don’t attract, which means that man cannot attract another man because they are the same, and a woman should not attract a woman because they are the same. That is how I used physics to prove gay marriage wrong.

 Anyone with a high school certificate would easily see this for what it is; science trash. Unfortunately, I am not a fan of science trash so I really struggled to read the interview to the end without puking.

Did he just compare human beings to magnets and mistook magnetic attraction for emotional or sexual attraction? Magnets are not emotionally or sexually attracted to themselves. Really, I do not believe I had to explain this to anyone, especially one with a degree, this is beyond ridiculous!

 He tortures us on

The Chemistry of Gay Marriage

In chemistry, I used chemical reactions and we have different types of chemical reactions. … if you bring an acid and you pour it on top of an acid chemistry there will be no reaction.  If you bring water and pour it on top it shows that there will be no reaction. If you bring a base either sodium hydroxide and you pour it on top of a sodium hydroxide you find out that there will be reaction showing that a man on top of a man will have no reaction. A woman on top of a woman will have no reaction, that is what chemistry is showing…

 What balderdash! Well, water and oil do not mix; maybe opposite sex should not marry, eh?

Really, a woman on top of a woman will have no reaction? I bet women who find other women attractive are laughing their asses off at this . Also, porn producers know that a woman on top of another woman do elicit  reaction, in fact so much reaction that it boosts sales.

 He stumbles on

 Likewise a man cannot be attracted to a man as negative ion is not attracted to the negative electrode instead negative ion is attracted to the positive electrode. That is what electrolysis is showing us that gay marriage is wrong in the area of chemistry.

  And electrolysis tells you gay marriage is wrong? Someone should get this guy into an institution and I do not mean a higher institution!

 And he leads us to his breakthrough on

 The Biology of Gay Marriage

In biology, I used simple experiments and I came down to a lay man. We have seen that the female of a fowl is called hen and the male of a fowl is called a cock. We have never seen where a cock is having sex with a cock and we have never seen where a hen is having sex with another. Even among lions when you go to the zoo you find out that lion does not mate with a lion instead a lion will mate with a lioness showing that a lion being a male will mate with lioness being a female. Now if animals that are of even lower creature understand so much, how come  human being made in the higher image of God that is even of higher creature will be thinking of  a man having sex with another and woman having sex with another woman? That shows that it’s a misnomer

 What can I say but be embarrassed for him. He obviously never heard that there are more than 1,500 species who engage in homosexual and bisexual behaviours, including Lions.

323110_305668739459190_122256581133741_1263217_1258111904_o cropped And he tells us

The sperm in the man alone doesn’t produce a child and ovary in the female alone does not produce a child, they need each other for reproduction to occur. So that shows how biology proves that gay marriage is wrong.

 Truly, why do homophobes reduce marriage to reproduction? Can they not get it that some of us do not wish to marry or enter into a relationship for the sole purpose of reproduction? The way some heterosexuals go on and on about ‘inability’ of same sex couples to reproduce, one would think the sole purpose of their precious heterosexual marriage is to procreate. Whatever happened to Love and all that Romeo and Juliet mumbo Jumbo? Obviously, according to the diehard heterosexual homophobes,  it has no place in a  marriage. If the womb or sperm is not functioning at full capacity, don’t even think of having sex, falling in love or worst, getting married!  Christian homophobes who use this silly argument gets me so angry, as exemplified in this video

 He rambles on

 The Mathematics of Gay Marriage

In mathematics which is another core area of science, I used what is called the principle of commutativity and idepotency… For example, if you say A + B in mathematics you are going to have B + A… If we use A as a man and use B as a woman we are going to have B + A that is woman and man showing that there is a reaction. A + B reacted, they interchanged and gave us B + A showing that commutativity obeys that a man should not marry a man and a woman should not marry a woman.

 What the heck has alphabets and numbers got to do with human emotions? Did he not know that languages are man-made? Do I even need to explain why this is so ridiculous? This guy has some serious stupidity issues!

  He concluded contentedly

 So these are the principles I have used to prove gay marriage wrong in physics, chemistry, biology, mathematics and by the grace of God I am the only one that has proved this in the whole world.

 If you go on the Internet to check whether there is anybody who has used physics to prove gay marriage wrong, you find out there is none. You go to Google or youtube check whether there is anybody that has used chemistry to find same sex marriage wrong, you find out there is none and the same applies to biology and mathematics.

This is probably because it takes a special kind of stupid to come to this bogus conclusion.

He admonishes us

“In general, same sex marriage is evil. It should be stopped by those practicing it. Now they are saying that they will go and adopt a child, the question is that if everybody shows interest in same sex marriage where would the child they are adopting come from?”

 So this PhD science student is one of the ignoramuses who believe everybody will turn gay if same sex marriage is legalized. Seems legit.

 One must wonder, who taught him research methodology? Why on earth did he not take a foundational course in So182703_128793373861245_100001917503756_195890_771624_nciology 101 or psychology101? At least he could have learned the difference between humans and inanimate objects and understand the differences between emotions and inanimate characteristics of objects.  These were foundational elective courses one must at least pass before graduating or did he just skip through it and bribed his lecturers to issue him a pass? Maybe he actually took the course but a shitty lecturer like his present professor, taught him.

 I weep for my country, because really, what manner of education is this?

How could a university allow its name to be associated with this rubbish?

Has the Professor been called to order or challenged by his fellow professors?

Would respectable science research schools or employers want to admit or employ graduates from University of Lagos or Nigeria as a whole, after reading this pathetic ignorance cloaked as science research?

 I am seriously ashamed of how low the standard of education has sunk in Nigeria. I do not just blame the government; I also blame the lecturers.

 Dr. Henry Boyo, Department of Physics at UNILAG approved of him. He said:

 I have known him (Stanley) for the past five years. He is a very sound guy. He is genuine in terms of his scientific discoveries. He has appeared on NTA and SilverBird televisions where he demonstrated his knowledge of science. When you talk to him, you will know that he understands what he is talking about. He is convincing.

 The Professor  unashamedly continued

He conceptualised the idea of using sciences and mathematics to prove gay marriage wrong and we have worked it here. Some people make claims to religion but he went a step further to use science and mathematics to prove gay marriage wrong. He used my laboratory here (UNILAG) to carry out his researches. He is the originator of the idea, he deserves commendation and we support the idea. You can quote me anywhere, the guy’s concept is germane and it has been scientifically proven to be true.

 When last did this professor publish anything meaningful in his discipline? In fact, had he ever published anything worthy in his area of study? How is professorship earned in Nigerian universities? How is the standard kept up?

 Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU) has been on strike for months now, asking for better pay and a revamp of universities’ infrastructures. I am a staunch supporter of unions, but ASUU needs to also look inwards and ask in all honesty, if some of its members are worthy to be called senior lecturers, Doctors or Professors.

 One must also question the level of journalism at ThisDay newspaper. ThisDay is a reputable Newspaper, why did they give credence to this person by publishing his jargon without attempting to balance it up with credible researches from established researchers and science journals?

 The reporter, Charles Ahunwa started his write up with

 His persistence during our conversations on the phone that I should give him an opportunity to explain some of his scientific breakthroughs made me to agree to meet him at his residence at No.38 Godwin Way, Ireakari Estate, Isolo, Lagos.

 So Chibuihem Stanley Amalaha was persistently demanding to be interviewed about his claim and the reporter finally gave him the audience he badly craved. I guess if anyone is persistent enough, they will get their five minutes of fame and malady.

 And why exactly did the reporter include the home address of this subject? Is this even ethical? How does this add to the substance of the interview?

 However, it could be an unintentional reminder of privilege. Gay persons cannot afford to have their home addresses published in interviews supporting LGBT rights, this would be suicidal. On the other hand, anti gay persons can have their home addresses published without fear of repercussions. After all, it is not as if Gays would suddenly set homophobes houses on fire or murder them in broad daylight while the rest of the community cheers on.

Some concerned persons have asked if the interview was an intentional joke or satire on the part of the student or the reporter.  I wish I could say it was a satire. It would be funny if it was not so accepted as the holy grail of truth by the many homophobes in Nigeria. People who are looking for the slightest excuse to jail and even kill gays, lesbians, bisexuals and Transsexuals are not beyond quoting this unscientific research to validate their hate.

There is so much hate and ignorance in this world that it is becoming increasingly difficult to distinguish between a satire and the rants of homophobes! 70612_100002673874449_24624348_s

 Now, if you are looking for a satire, here is one YouTube video, The Homosexual Menace,  itrepresents Homosexual satire at its best. Very funny. I do get the satire, unfortunately some don’t easily get it because many of these stereotypes are still flying around, and you’d be surprised that worst stereotypes of gays abound in Africa. So the satire could easily be missed because these are not farfetched claims.

 Compare this satire with the true case of the Nebraska woman gay rant  video. Just some few seconds into the video, I immediately knew the woman had some unresolved issues upstairs even before it was later confirmed that she is schizophrenic. I was told that many American Republicans say stuffs like what the woman said in the video…hmm, I would advise, pls go get all dem republicans heads examined! I truly could not understand why anyone thinking straight (no pun intended) would make such ridiculous claims as the woman did in the video, so why take her seriously?  Unfortunately, many did. Just as many are taking the claims of this Nigerian PhD student as the gospel truth.

 Unfortunately, this interview with Chibuihem Amalaha was not a joke. This misguided lad actually believes he has hit on a breakthrough research. He even hopes to win a Nobel laureate prize someday. Unfortunately what he has succeeded in doing is make an asshole of himself in the science community and well, got himself some fans from the ignoramus community. He has also succeeded in drawing international attention to the poor level of education in Nigerian higher institutions.

 His Next Step

I want to be able to publish it in international journals. The finance has been a problem in this area because I found out that you you have to pay in dollars for international journals to publish you. You know finance is a factor and I don’t have money to start paying in US dollars and I need sponsors so that I can pay for the journals to be published.

 Maybe he should apply to the Westboro Baptist Church and  the Sarah Palin Foundation for Science; they might have funds for him to play creationist myths with, they might even confer on him, an award or two.

Comments

  1. says

    Most reputable journals do not charge for publication; if they’re charging enough that a university cannot help a PhD student publish, then they’re scams, not journals (this is a big issue in academe). As in publishing, if they’re making you pay them, then they’re not someone you should be publishing with. The fact that he’s not submitting it to proper journals with peer review is yet another mark against taking any of his obvious foolishness seriously.

  2. Ekuba says

    hahaha! As an African woman who’s bisexual & has slept with both women & men, I wish I could reassure the poor boy that there is actually a strong reaction when a woman gets on top of another woman! This actually made me sad because it reveals the paucity of most educational systems in West Africa. An African doctor who passed his exams with flying colors recently told me that tired line of ‘even animals aren’t gay’ & I didn’t know where to start from. The fact that that doctor & this dude even passed a single university exam shows how troubled our educational system is. And to conclude, I’ll say that any African who believes that god will destroy countries for ‘sodomy’ has a low self esteem. So god chose to bless europe for centuries of enslaving black people but the same god will now destroy countries just because men love men & women love women? It seems that to such people, god approves of slavery & colonization but not same sex love. SMH

  3. thascius says

    Sadly there are many people in America who will laud this “ground-breaking research” as absolute proof that homosexuality is wrong. I’m sure we’ll the religious right quoting this in their anti-gay publications before long.

  4. Pen says

    Woah, there, proof by analogy! But if you bring matter and anti-matter together, they self-destruct, proving that heterosexual activity is equivalent to terrorism. Also, from optics, colours which are closer in wavelength harmonise and are soothing to the eye, whereas opposite colours clash, proving, irrefutably, mind you, that same sex couples are more harmonious. That Nobel prize is mine, mine I tell you!

  5. Yemisi Ilesanmi says

    @CaitieCat -Good point. If his work is any good, he should be able to get it published in good peer review journals without paying through his teeth. If this is the kind of shit he comes up with, he is obviously going to get turned down and it will have nothing to do with lack of finance.

  6. Yemisi Ilesanmi says

    @Ekuba- The poor boy just needs to watch some women on women action,virtually or physically, he could call it research, if that would ease his ‘Godly’ conscience. :) He shouldn’t worry about God getting angry with him for watching live sex, after all the Christian God is obsessed with what people do with their genitals and we all know perverted Jesus is watching us Masturbate !

  7. Yemisi Ilesanmi says

    @thascius- I wouldn’t be surprised if the Westboro Baptist Church or Sarah Palin quotes this ‘scientific ‘ breakthrough. :)

  8. Yemisi Ilesanmi says

    @Pen- I am also awaiting my Nobel Prize for proving that since oil and water do not mix, opposite sex marriage is wrong. At this rate, there won’t be enough Nobel Prizes to go round! lol!

  9. skemono says

    This just reminds me of my college days, when some loser was standing near a fountain and yelling at people going to classes that homosexuality was wrong because you couldn’t plug the “male” part of a plug into another “male” plug, or the “female” side into another “female” side. He even had extension cords with him as visual aids.

  10. left0ver1under says

    Colleges and universities can have their accreditation revoked. Lawyers can be disbarred.

    So why is it college and university degrees -- especially PhDs -- can’t be taken away from those like Amalaha or Duane Gish? It’s especially galling when it’s clear the education was wasted on them.

  11. says

    Ouch, made my head hurt… That research certainly deserves a wider audience as I cannot see anyone but the most brain addled homophobe finding it compelling.

  12. stever says

    Am I the only one who suspects that under its western-academic paint, the University of Lagos is not a real university but an updated, more sophisticated Cargo Cult? That’s the only explanation I can come up with for taking such a wingnut seriously as a doctoral student.

  13. Ella David says

    Beautiful Writeup Yemisi. Funny also. I have been laughing my head off at your really sarcastic analysis.

    I saw that link some weeks ago and trust me, I laughed at his stupid analysis. After sometime, I became so ashamed, why? Because, it projected the educational system of our country as messed up, within moments I became embittered towards the guy that I felt like beating and giving him some slaps. If I ever physically set my eyes on him, I wouldn’t hesitate to showcase my grouse if I ever meet him.

  14. Meggamat says

    @Ekuba: what is more, we (Europe) started having our major plagues immediately after we fought a holy war in gods name. Can the catholic church really imagine the omnipotent master of all reality declaring: “congratulations! You defended my name in distant lands! As a reward, I will kill one in three of you, cripple your economy and leave a scar in your cultural memory that will be felt for centuries!” Nice person, god. Good thing he is a work of fiction.

  15. Nisha says

    Maybe it is thrue -PHD causes phyical head damage. The poor boy has head damage.

    Thank you so much @Yemisi that was the best laugh I had in a while. In all seriouslness this guy and his professor and uni should be shut down. I am pretty sure they are not real :)

    This cannot be real.

    PS: Woman on Woman has hetrosexual men reacting all the time- poor thing :D he does not have a sexual orientation at all he is a magnet!!!

  16. Maddie says

    I gouged my eyes out early on in the article and couldn’t read the rest of it. It’s a sad day for science.

  17. Obioma says

    Thank you for this writeup. I was really horrified when I read his “research”. Anyone associated with this “work” should be kicked out of any educational institution. UNILAG should be embarrassed. It takes an exceptional level of stupidity to reach his conclusions.

  18. Huzaifa says

    Actually, A+B is just A+B(like you can’t simplify it or anything, so according to this man’s stupidity he would be proving homosexuality and lesbianism RIGHT) and B+A is only another way to write it, same way, Man+ Woman or Woman+Man is the same thing. AND, A+A=2A(so, again, this idiot would be proving homosexuality and lesbianism RIGHT with mathematics) and so on. Man, no wonder Africa is so fucked up.

  19. Yemisi Ilesanmi says

    @Frank Zander -- Chibuihem Amalaha would be insulted that you referred to his painstaking ‘Research’ as a joke. Remember, he hopes to win a Nobel Prize with this breakthrough, and his professor glowingly endorsed the research. Don’t let the joke be on you, after all sometimes life can be stranger than fiction.

  20. eni esivue says

    I think the guy is delusional!!This is complete Hogwash!I am still trying to understand how a Phd scientist will vomit this rubbish,Karl Marx is completely right on this,Religion is the Opium of the masses,anything we don’t understand is explained away with religion or in this case with baseless and stupid ‘research’

  21. eni esivue says

    And I have no words for the professor,if indeed he is real then ASUU has a very long way to go…

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