I got a new purple laptop and found the meaning of life!

When my Sony VAIO laptop suddenly started freezing, I thought the world was about to end! Surely freezing laptops and inability to access the internet are signs of the apocalypse; the inevitable invasion of the zombies?Snapshot_20140726_15

I didn’t realise just how much I have come to depend on my laptop and internet for my daily existence until I couldn’t use my laptop or access the internet at will. When I informed my son that my laptop was faulty, he was so concerned that he would make international calls several times a day, to take me through steps to sort the problem. My mum also panicked, every time she called, she would ask how I was coping without my laptop.  It then dawned on me that even those close to me recognised that I am highly dependent on my laptop. It was as if they thought not having a functional laptop meant I was going to fall apart and spiral into depression cos I could not go online to perform all those ‘important’ online stuff, like well, Facebooking.

In a way, I can understand why they were so concerned. I must admit that I am addicted to my laptop especially since I am currently an unemployed refugee trying to rebuild my career and make a home in a new environment. Writing basically keeps me mentally and emotionally stimulated. Not being able to write was driving me insane. However, once upon a time (seems like a galaxy far away), I used to author handwritten novels. In fact, those story plots were written on paper, mostly notebooks. When I was a high school teenager, I would write romance novels fashioned after Mills and Boons series which I was kinda addicted to, although I cringe now to think I ever liked these M&B series.  My classmates were fascinated with my stories, and since there was only one handwritten copy of these stories, they would queue up and take turns, waiting to read each chapter as the plot thickens. Now I can’t even write a legible sentence on paper to save my life!

One solace I took from my laptop breaking down is that it was not a bad time to take a break from the hassles of social media. All the negative news about plane crash, wars, unnecessary man made deaths, callous bombings and even atheists ‘drama’ were becoming more than I could handle. I  mean how many times do you post a status update condemning yet another preventable, callous tragedy before it all starts to sound like a broken record? How many times can one express outrage about yet another Boko Haram bombings, another bomb going off in Gaza , another mindless plane crash , another terrorist activity , another misogynist going on a killing spree,  another big cooperation killing for profits, another rape apologist atheist or another self-identified feminist going on an anti-feminist rant? Really how many times do we express our disgust before a sense of de javu starts creeping in?

Sometimes we need to step aside from the horror of it all and take a break from life as it is, escape into our inner self and not think about the horrors surrounding us. I guess in a way, I do this ‘escape thing’ with my laptop. When I focus on things I am passionate about e.g. writing, advocacy and organising campaigns and getting it all done on my laptop, in a way this help take my mind off the horrors of unemployment, financial worries, betrayals, racism encountered from unexpected sources and these now familiar but much hated words “Unfortunately you have not been shortlisted this time, we wish you the best in your job search”.

Sometimes we need a coping mechanism to deal with personal horrors and sometimes even the collective public horror that we as humans inflict on fellow humans can get too much for us personally or collectively to bear. We sometimes need to gingerly navigate the horrors of daily existence that reading the papers and online stories could bring in its wake.

Anyway,  my solid pretty pink Sony laptop which I bought when I was about to embark on my LL.M program and which had faithfully served me without complaints for about three years now finally decided it has had enough of my overworking it. Yes, I did overwork that poor thing. I had it working till very late in the night, most times into the early hours of the morning. Yes, it did pay its dues and I couldn’t in all good conscience complain when it finally started protesting its work hours by freezing up at every opportunity. I guess this was its way of embarking on a strike.

And by freezing, I don’t just mean the harrowing time waiting for Mozilla Firefox to finally load and clear up, this was different. The laptop would freeze at every opportunity it had. For every tedious but successful start, it chooses just how long it wants to work for. Sometimes it would be generous and grant me an uninterrupted service for an hour or two but most times I had just a few seconds before the next freeze. Since my laptop freezes after a sentence or two, I could barely write a paragraph, never mind a blogpost. Well, I did learn to save every single line I typed so I don’t lose my work. Heck, I even had to save my FB comments so as not to lose the long responses I tediously typed especially when I needed to scream at yet another FB asshole commenter. That was hell come to life!

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After spending ‘hard to come by’ money on unsuccessful repairs and buying unnecessary laptop parts, my concerned mum was worried about the effects of not having a functional PC to do whatever it was I was doing online, which was at least keeping me smiling in a situation she thought could make anyone go downhill, so she decided I should have a new laptop. She generously offered to contribute from her meagre earnings towards a new laptop for me. And on my part , I ordered some copies of my book  ‘Freedom To Love For ALL: Homosexuality is Not Un-African!’ and sold these at speaking engagements and workshops to make up the money for a new laptop.

Currys/PC World was having a sale so I went online to see what they had to offer me in the laptop department. I saw this HP purple laptop and fell in love. Yeah, it was love at first sight. I am not a fan of HP, my first laptop was an HP Pavilion and it didn’t last a year, plus I couldn’t get it repaired or replaced even with the warranty. On the other hand, my pink Sony Vaio was pretty and strong. However I had become accustomed to HP media smart cam which was available on my Sony but which I lost while trying to fix the freezes and every attempt to download it again failed. I miss making my YouTube videos, taking selfies with my laptop and designing it with all the lovely effects available on HP media smart cam, so for entertainment sake, I decided to check the HP section. And lo and behold, I saw this sleek purple laptop at very good price and I was hooked.

My first laptop was a sleek black HP, second was a pretty pink Sony and well seems the third would be a sleek royal purple. Why purple? I don’t know, I just love it. Maybe it also appeals to the bisexual in me, after all, purple is the bisexual colour in the LGBT Rainbow.

But come to think of it, my very first dildo was purple. I still have it and yes, it has brought me many joys and pleasures and still doing so, but really why purple? I was in Amsterdam for a conference and decided to browse the sex shops and I was not disappointed with the vast array of toys on display.  Well I wondered why I bought a purple dildo, it is not as if there are purple people, at least none that I know of, aliens apart. There were black dildos but somehow that just didn’t’ feel right. Yes there are black people but I doubt there are black people strictly speaking as much as I doubt there are white people strictly speaking. Maybe if there were brown, sexy chocolate, caramelised coloured dildos, I might have been tempted but the charcoal black dildos just felt weird.

Yes, I was more comfortable with a purple dildo than a charcoal black one. I wouldn’t imagine buying a white dildo too cos it would be snow 5920_120731267883_531502883_2304761_3462247_n (2)white and who needs that colour for sex, well not me. I did end up also buying a ‘white’ strap-on dildo. I am not really a fan of strap-on dildos or let’s just say it hasn’t floated my boat yet. My then girlfriend did try it a few times, well considering that she was a chocolate coloured black women, strapping on  a white rubber penis kinda looked weird. So, the strap-on dildo never saw much action but I still have it, maybe waiting for a white lover to try it on?  My purple dildo on the other hand feels so right on spot.

I thought this was a blogpost about my new purple laptop, how did this turn into a talk about dildos? Well, just another way my new purple laptop got me thinking about all things purple. Since I don’t have many things purple, I inevitably thought of my purple dildo and all the royal joy it has brought me even though it is not the conventional skin colour. Colour doesn’t have to matter, if it brings you joy, enjoy it in whatever colour or package it comes in. Yes, another meaning of life brought to me by my purple laptop!

I am glad to be able to write a whole blog post without having to shut down and restart my laptop after every sentence., that was the very definition of hell on earth! However i am still saving every sentence as i type, hopefully I will get over the trauma soon.

I still do not have complete trust in the strength of my HP laptop, for one, it feels so light, which to me says it might not be strong and solid enough. Maybe I am compromising beauty for strength but hey, this is the digital age, big and heavy does not necessarily signify strength, good things have been known to come in small packages, size doesn’t always have to matter! I just hope to enjoy this sleek light design and put it to good use, I chose it for is beauty and entertainment, but that does not mean it can’t be pretty, entertaining and strong too. It is the 21st century, good things seems to come in smaller packages, and size doesn’t have to matter. Yes, I am still talking about my purple laptop. Lol!

Well, I did choose to go pick up my purple laptop dressed in some royal ensemble. I had my nails painted in purple, wore my pretty purple Snapshot_20140726_14sandals and my slinky purple dress, strapped on my purple wrist watch, matched the ensemble with my purple handbag and went off to pick the ultimate accessory, my purple laptop. The shop attendant surely must have wondered about the weird lady who seems to have a weird fondness for purple and did a double take when I specifically requested for a purple laptop.

Anyway, I am glad I have my purple laptop. Never mind that I only have one purple dress, one purple wrist watch and one  (OK two purple coloured shoes) and one purple handbag, I have no doubt that someone seeing me clad in all purple and clutching purple laptop would go “Hey, she probably has a purple fetish”. Well, appearances can be deceptive, don’t be too hasty to judge, in fact don’t judge at all. Another life lesson learnt thanks to my purple laptop! Below are other worthy lessons I learnt from my purple laptop episode:

1-     No matter our differences, I am much loved by my mum, and my son is a jewel of inestimable value.

2-      Don’t be afraid of change.

3-      When life gives you lemons, throw it back in its face and create your own flavour.

4-      Don’t be afraid to take a break, even the best of activists need a break to recharge.

5-      Don’t be afraid to stand out, diversity is the spice of life.

6-      Don’t judge a book by its cover but don’t be ashamed to choose a package for its cover.

7-      Because it is sleek, beautiful and entertaining does not mean it is not strong.

8-      Don’t judge people by their clothes.

9-      Get a new dildo or better still, the latest vibrator

10-   Give strap-on dildos a chance

Anyway, I am glad to be up and blogging again, I hope to write more now that I have a brand new laptop. Also, I now have a DONATE BUTTON ON MY blog. If you like reading my posts and would like to support and encourage me to keep writing, do feel free to click on the button and show some love. It would be greatly appreciated, thanks. Now, back to enjoying my purple thingys!

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  1. Gyspy Witch says

    Purple rocks. It is such a sign of strength and courage to turn adversary and disappointment around as need to have a break from it all. Self care is paramount in this complicated world…

  2. Gyspy Witch says

    Purple rocks. It is such a sign of strength and courage to turn adversary and disappointment around as a need to have a break from it all. Self care is paramount in this complicated world…

  3. Yemisi Ilesanmi says

    @Gypsy Witch- Yeah, the colour purple rocks. It is a royal colour (although i am not a fan of royalty) it is also the bisexual colour. It just oozes strength, calmness and yes courage in the face of adversity. I might let you play with my purple laptop when you visit. 🙂

  4. says

    Yay new tech! I love getting new tech. Doesn’t happen much to me anymore, but I got my first smartphone a couple of months ago, and I love it, use it constantly. And I rarely leave my apartment, because of my disability, so it’s not cause I’m away from my laptop! 🙂

    Glad to have you back with us, and glad you got a nice stress-relieving break out of it too.

  5. Yemisi Ilesanmi says

    @CaitieCat, getaway driver-Thanks! New phones are cool too, with all the new Tech, there is an increasing blurred line between a phone and a laptop!

  6. Meggamat says

    Lesson number three is a truly profound statement. I hope your laptop lasts for many years, and is receptive to upgrades and enhancements.

  7. Yemisi Ilesanmi says

    @Meggamat- Lesson number three is one of my favourites. Thanks, I hope my laptop has a long, healthy lifespan and if i ever needed to change it, I hope I don’t encounter financial or health constraints. 🙂

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