My Home is in Heaven? WTF!

I have been having a writing inertia lately due to so much and so little going on in my life. I am c486504_10151925203660117_1558262998_naught up in the hustle and bustle of life and a heavily loaded brain that can’t discharge much right now because it is stuck somewhere in between too much and too little.  It seems all I needed to kick me out of this inertia is to be eerily woken up by an old Christian tune.

I hate early mornings. I am not an early morning person and I do not like it when I am jarringly woken up in the morning by phone calls, chit chats and definitely not by a dreadful Christian song! Unfortunately, as I am fast learning, this is one luxury you give up when you share a bedroom!

I was woken up today by ‘my dear one’ singing this very old tune from the past

Nigeria la gbe bi mi (I was born in Nigeria)

Nigeria lagbe bi mi (I was born in Nigeria)

Lori lede Africa (In the continent of Africa)

Ni won orunle Africa (Where the sunsets in Africa)

Sugbon Orun ni le mi wa (But my home is in heaven)


Ile mi be e lorun o (My home is definitely in heaven)

Nibi ti ko ti suku mo (Where there will be no more death)

Ile mi be e lorun o (My home is in heaven)

Austerity ko si ni be (There is no Austerity there)

Ni lu mimo Jeruslaesm. (In the holy land of Jerusalem)

Oh, fucking shit! I turned over, glared at ‘my dear one’, who just came out of the shower, preparing to go to work. Obviously she has the habit of singing in the shower, as I also used to, when I had my own private shower! She gave me a mischievously confused look, no need to exchange words, a beggar has no choice! I turned right back on the bed and tried to cover my ears with the duvet, the singing, now rising in pitch, continued from the same dreary tune.

Agbara olorun kima igbati, rara rara (The power of God never fails, oh never, never!)

Ba Jesu Kristi soro (Talk to Jesus Christ)

Ohun lo le my ibanuje aye re kuro (For only he can take away the sorrows of your life)

Ba Jesu Kristi soro (Talk to Jesus Christ)

Ohun lo le so banuje aiye re dayo (For only he can turn the sorrows in your life to joy)

O fucking Christ, I am talking to you now, can you please make her stop? If you did, I will believe you fucking truly exist! Well, ‘my dear one’ did not stop singing, which is undeniable evidence that Jesus always fails and God does not exist. I tried to reach for my earplugs, and then I remembered, it is broken, damn! Now gyrating to the tune, she continued in ‘oblivion’ ecstasy …

Be watchful

Don’t be tempted

To leave Jesus

For Devil is around

The devil is moving around

Looking for whom to devour

Be watchful

Don’t be tempted

To leave Jesus

For devil is aroundddddd

Oh dear God, I guess you must be truly mad at me to subject me to this early morning torture. I finally gave SDC16625up any attempt to sleep, I turned over, but right there on the bedroom door, the broken glass picture of a stern looking white Jesus with two fingers raised and the other hand thumping at his fiery red heart, stared reproachfully at me as if saying, “Fuck you, come hither to me now!”  I guess no rest for the atheist in a Christian home. Sigh. (I will tell you more about this picture of the blue eyed blonde Jesus in another post).

The song ‘Agbara Olunrun Ki ma Igbati (The power of God Never fails)” was a big hit in Nigeria during late 70’s to late 80s, it is still popular amongst  old generation Christians. I grew up singing that dreadful song. Almost every Christian household used to blast the song daily. It was a desolate song with no instrumentals; the words were its power.  But really, how could such stupid words hold so much power over people? It reminds me of another of my favourite childhood songs, “This world is not my home, I am only passing through…”

It was solemn, it was mournful, it was powerful, it was assertive and it was stupid. I also used to sing it so lovingly, but in my defense, I was just a child between 6-14 years old.  I was a devout Christian, actually already a prophetess, a mere child influenced by her environment.  But what excuse do adults have to ever sing these awful songs?

Really, “Be watchful, don’t be tempted, to leave Jesus for Devil is around”? Gosh, sounds like the big bad wolf coming to get the vulnerable little pigs! Children could be forgiven for singing these dreadful lyrics, after all they are always told there is a big bad wolf in disguise eager to whistle and break down their wall of defense (abi na wall of Jericho?), but what excuse do adults who should know better have for this song and for making it an evergreen hit? What adults in their right mind compose such stupid songs anyway?

I just can’t get out of my mind, the pitiful image of adults clinging to Jesus for fear of devil dragging them away!  It is even more pitiable when I remember that up till this minute, I still have adults who leave comments on my YouTube channel and my blogpost, warning me that the devil has taken over my soul. They sagely advise that I should make my way back to Jesus or else I will be lost forever. Really, a look at the comments would give you a general idea of how brain dead so many adult Christians are.

Sometimes, I wish I could sue for being subjected to a brainwashed religious childhood, for being infected withThe Cancer 407171_2699056189303_1043602147_2867789_1434976931_ncalled Religion. Unfortunately, the odds are that the adults that would sit over such a case in the judiciary are still brainwashed and infected with the religious cancer.

Now, I have no hope of ever making ‘my dear one’ shed her religious mental chain, but it is not for lack of trying. I did try to reason with her but the best I got is that I am now spared from been DIRECTLY told how marvelous God is. Sometimes she slips and tells me just that, but I take comfort in the fact that she now seems uncomfortable mentioning ‘the miracles’ of God in my presence. Thank goodness for small mercies!

However, watching her gives me a better insight into what drives religion, why it thrives in underdeveloped countries and why adults who moved to developed countries still can’t break away from their religious mental slavery.

It is all about fear, fear, fear. Fear of poverty, fear of imaginary enemies, fear of deportation, fear of unemployment, fear of having your perceived enemies laugh at you, fear of not living a quality life, fear of the unknown, even fear of your own shadow! It all boils down to FEAR. Fear of living a miserable life on planet earth without hope of a better life RIGHT HERE ON EARTH.

It hardly has to do with fear of not making heaven or not going to paradise. Actually, your average Christian does not rejoice at the thought of dying right now and being whisked off to paradise. It is all about fear of not achieving their goals right here on planet earth.  If offered the choice to die right now and go live with Jesus, the average religious believer would say “NO thanks, although I acknowledge that heaven is my home but right now I still prefer this miserable existence on earth”.

Hardly would any rich, comfortable adult who have no health or financial worries wake up in the morning to sing such mournful, dreadful, heaven longing song. Even the Overseers of their churches whom they fondly call Daddy e.g. Pastor Oyedepo, Pastor Adebayo and Prophet T.B Joshua would hardly wake up to sing about longing for paradise. Certainly not when they are so busy enjoying the paradise they already have right here on earth. How can they long for heaven when most of their earthly time is spent cruising around in Private jets paid for and maintained by their gullible church members? The Shepherd has no need to long for greener pasture, not when the sheep are willing to deprive themselves of the little pasture they have, so that their shepherd can, in luxury, communicate with God on their miserable behalf.

I know it would be near impossible to get ‘my dear one’ to abandon her faith at this stage, it is too deeply ingrained. It is one of the twenty reasons I am distressed by religion.  More so, she truly would be lost without it. I mean:

  •  Who would she blame when things get rough in this strange land as it often does?
  •  If there is no devil, no witches, no wizards, who would she blame when her agency does not call her for work?
  • Who takes the fall when money is tight in the account?
  • Who does she and her religious friends blame when they have health complications?
  • If they accept that there is no God, which superman do they call on to smite their enemies?
  •  Which Skydaddy do they get to cry to when they need reassurance that they are still loved by the most high?
  •  And above all, if there is no God, how can they still continue to play the boastful game ‘My God is better than yours”?

The false comforts of religion make zombies out of humans. It is sad, but somehow I have this inkling that they vaguely know at the back of their mind that there really is no skydaddy, they are just too afraid to even entertain the thought. Acknowledging this even vaguely would mean  having to accept that they have been living their life based on a lie.

How many can face this devastating truth, especially in old age? They most likely prefer the cold comfort of religious lies. Since many live a life of drudgery, maybe the thought of going to paradise really appeals to them. Although I must confess, I really can’t see the fun in singing hallelujah to a white bearded man for eternity, not even the promise of running free in lush greens and beautiful flowers could make paradise appealing. Of course the dreadful hymns are already a turn off.

I do think the greatest disservice we can do to this life is to yearn for another life and disregard this one life we already have. What a waste!



  1. Sastra says

    I do think the greatest disservice we can do to this life is to yearn for another life and disregard this one life we already have. What a waste!

    Well put.
    You write with humor, compassion — and a devastating honesty. A very rare gift.

    And I wish you best of luck with your loved one. I’m assuming she now assumes that the best way to spread her faith is “by example” (i.e. being positive and loving.) If so, I hope she eventually comes to the realization that the ideal of the Good Life isn’t exclusive enough to convert others to a dubious metaphysics. The good things stand on their own merit. You don’t live your faith; you live life.

    Now I’ve got to go read your other posts. I’ve been tempted.

  2. Yemisi Ilesanmi says

    @Sastra- Thanks. I am learning more and more to look at the good deeds of my ‘dear loved one’ and not be so focused on her belief in the power of God. I do feel bad that she does not give herself enough credit for all her hardwork, of course the credits for all achievements goes to Skydaddy and the blame for all disappointments is put on the doorstep of Satan who according to her religion, uses people close to her as “enemies of progress’. It breaks my heart, but a step at a time.

    Do enjoy my other posts. 🙂


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