They Aren’t Laughing At Me Now!!1!!

Jim Bakker’s Yuck in a Bucket.

Jim Bakker seems to be under the impression that no one is laughing at him anymore. It won’t take very long to dispel that notion.

“These things, when God does them, God doesn’t fool around!” Bakker bellowed. “Yesterday, I almost lost it. You know, for the last several years, preachers—even in this city—and evangelists have beat the you-know-what out of me and made fun of me because we store food.”

“They preach about it,” he claimed. “Whole revivals just preaching about Jim and Lori, ‘Ha, ha, ha, they’re storing food, that stupid Jim Bakker.’ I just came from the flood zone! Nobody was laughing at me! They all wanted the crazy preacher’s food!”

“When the crisis comes, you people that are ready, your kids that laughed at you won’t laugh any more,” Bakker added. “And I want to tell you something: You ain’t seen nothing yet!”

I had no idea your fellow christians were beating the shit out of you all the time, Jim. You must have a great make-up person. I fully expect they teased you no end, because oh gods, that yuck looks disgusting, and I doubt people who weren’t in a dire situation would want anything to do with it. Considering how many people there are in this country who go hungry every day, seems to me the christian thing to do would be to distribute your yuck in a bucket to those who are just that damn hungry. But we all know what matters to you, don’t we, Jim? Almighty Money Money Money. People are still laughing, Jim. They’ll be laughing more in a moment…

On Thursday, Jim was opining on how he could be shot for wearing a ball cap with a cross on it. (I saw it, it’s in the bucket of yuck video, plain brown with a small white cross on the front). That’s just how gosh darn horrible it has gotten for christians. A fair number of people are running around wearing various moronic Trump hats, draped in confederate flags, and they aren’t getting shot. There are degrees of offensiveness, and while I’m not a fan of christians constantly waving their favourite method of execution around, it’s not terribly offensive. Crosses are fucking everywhere, no one is going to get that bent by a little white cross on a cap. It would actually go quite a long way in protecting you from all the really nasty folk, like Trumpholes, so let’s lose the persecution game, Jim, you suck at it.

Bakker went on to declare that “everything God’s ever spoke to me has come to pass” while fuming that society has made Christians afraid to share their faith. But Bakker refuses to be controlled by that fear, even though he knows he could be killed simply for wearing a Christian hat in public.

“I wear them out in public and I know I could be shot,” he proclaimed. “I know that. There are crazy people out there, but I’m not going to deny the cross. I will not deny the cross! I won’t.”

Who asked you to deny it? Does anyone give a fuck? Because I’m pretty sure no one does, Jim. I don’t care if you dress up as a furry cross, dude. Whatever floats your boat and all that. I would not be remotely surprised if in the near future, Bakker pays someone to shoot him, in a non-fatal manner, of course. Or shows up with a bullet hole in his cap, claiming a miracle.

Via RWW, one, two.

“Evolution is fake science, it is not true.”

Long live evolution, Yehrin Tong.

Dave Daubenmire is frothing again, this time about things he doesn’t understand. Well, to be fair, Dave never seems to understand what he’s talking about.

“Evolution is fake science, it is not true,” Daubenmire said. “Do you know how much government money goes into science research? If you want to get a government grant, you have to make sure that the research that you do is going to support the positions of the government.”

“I would like to see the government do this,” he continued, “why doesn’t the government fund research into whether or not there is really a God? Wouldn’t that be good? Let’s dump a lot of money—rather than dumping all this [money into research] proving there isn’t a God, let’s fund some scientists to do some research to see if there is a God.”

Oh FFS. I am not in any way involved in science of any kind, but even I know there are plenty of organizations funding such moronic “research”, the Templeton Foundation probably being the most recognizable. In research of the past, there were scads of people attempting to prove “god”, “angels”, and “souls”. Didn’t work out. I’d like to take a moment though, to focus on Dave’s wording: “to see if there is a God.” Words matter. Seems Dave doesn’t understand that, either. So, Dave’s apparently not sure there is a god, and which god ‘science’ might uncover, if only the government would give it a chance.

As far as I know, there isn’t any money being unceremoniously dumped into proving there isn’t a god. Money goes to research all the magnificent and wondrous things around us. That’s a lot of stuff, Dave, and biology research is hardly limited to evolutionary studies. Biology would be one of those BIG fields.

A small suggestion, Dave – shut up, get on your knees, and start praying. Hard. I’m sure if you ask nicely enough, and long enough, why that monster of yours might consent to proving it exists, shouldn’t be a problem, right? What if that won’t happen because you don’t have enough faith, Dave? Ooops.

Via RWW.

Sunday Facepalm.

Oh Kevin Swanson, the religious extremist’s extremist. He’s at it again, pouring down Jehovah’s wrath in the form of hurricanes, natch. Mr. Swanson has a solution to Hurricane Irma eating Florida, though!

Kevin Swanson declared on his radio program today that the Supreme Court should immediately reverse its Roe v. Wade and Obergefell decisions before God unleashes his judgment on America in the form of Hurricane Irma.

Swanson, who just last week said that Hurricane Harvey was the judgment of God on Houston, said that these “God-ordained disasters” are a warning to this nation to repent for its myriad of sins.

Now, Swanson said this on the 7th this month, and I have to say, it would be a fun experiment, if you could get the Supreme Court to say, okay, the law is suspended until such and such a date, and see if it would magically wither Irma. We all know it wouldn’t have the slightest effect, and the religious reich would claim that Jehovah got all sniffy ’cause it wasn’t a permanent reversal. Of course, it doesn’t take much to make Jehovah all sniffy and pissy.

“God is in control of what is going on,” he said, “and whether or not Irma is going to do $200 billion worth of damage in Miami … is all in the hands of God. Those winds are going to blow where they are going to blow, but they’re going to blow in the direction that God ordains them to go. Friends, God is in complete control and utter control of what is going on with these hurricanes.”

Well, the wind is gonna go where it goes, but Jehovah is in control, you betcha! So, that’s why Mar-a-Lago and other overblown McMansions of conservative assholes are right in the path, and that’s why we’re all getting taxed for the federal coverage of Pres. Pinchpork’s palace. So, one could go with the assumption that Jehovah isn’t upset about gay people, but conservative assholes. Unfortunately, Jehovah’s aim has always been notoriously bad, so a lot of good people are gonna get screwed over here, but Jehovah has never been one to care about ‘collateral damage’.

“The wrath of God against this nation is intense,” Swanson continued. “I wish that American leaders would sit up and pay attention … The Supreme Court of the United States needs to reverse Roe v. Wade and Obergefell now, this afternoon, before Irma does her damage. It would be a good thing if the Supreme Court of the United States understood that God is in control of these things and God is a personality and God is offended by the sins of this nation.”

Oooh, Jehovah is a personality. A psychopathic one. Yeah, I’m not shaking in my boots over your non-existent psychopath, Mr. Swanson. Climate change, on the other hand, there’s reason to be scared shitless.

Via RWW.

Fetuses for Ba’al!

The stele of Baal with Thunderbolt found in the ruins of Ugarit.

Mark “can’t be too lurid” Taylor, self-styled prophet, is at it again. How does this man manage to do anything like eat? He never shuts up. This time, it’s Baal (Ba’al). Well, Ba’al and people who believe in bodily autonomy and reproductive choice. On to the lurid idiocy!

After repeating his prophecy that God is going to supernaturally remove five Supreme Court justices so that President Trump can replace them and overturn Roe v. Wade, Taylor warned viewers not to be fooled by those who claim they support a woman’s right to choose.

“People have to realize the strongman over America is Baal,” he said. “Baal is a very violent entity, he is the second in Satan’s triune, he is the second in command, he is the counterfeit Christ. It feeds off the blood of the innocent, which is the aborted babies. This is why Baal is the strongman, because the aborted babies are the food source that is empowering Baal.”

Sigh. What a fucktonne of nonsense. In the first place, Ba’al is a placeholder, much like god, in this case, meaning Lord. The actual god was Hadad, a storm and weather god. Things changed over the years, and Ba’al became the name rather than the epithet. Ba’al is mentioned in the bible, more than once, as a rival god to young Yahweh/Jehovah. Ba’al’s worshipers got right up Jehovah’s nose, and he called for them all to be slaughtered, more than once. Ba’al never had anything to do with Lucifer, or his triune, whatever that might comprise. Lucifer wasn’t the convenient fall guy of Ba’al. Different gods, Mr. Taylor. Try reading something, like, oh, the bible. Now, Ba’al is a fertility god, with a particular enmity toward snakes, so I think if he was going to feast on blood, it would most likely be snakes or the local river god. Ba’al was also the patron of sailors and sea going merchants. Not such a bad god. He certainly didn’t hate his worshipers and everyone else like Jehovah. Oh yes, Ba’al’s conflict with Yammu is now generally regarded as the prototype of the vision recorded in the 7th chapter of the Biblical Book of Daniel. Yet another god the bible writers happily thieved.

I’m pretty sure that medical waste incinerators are not made in the form of Ba’al, with all medical personnel and people who are pro-choice suddenly Ba’al worshipers.

Taylor said that “if you’re listening to these politicians and they’re telling you, ‘Oh, we’re pro-choice, it’s all about a woman’s right to choose, it’s all about women’s health,’ you’re being duped, you’re being lied to.”

“They don’t care anything about you,” he said. “All they want from you, as a woman, is to be a breeder for that food source, for you to abort that baby to feed their god called Baal. They don’t care anything about your right to choose, they don’t care anything about your health, all they want is that baby aborted as a sacrifice because every time you abort a baby, it’s a sacrifice to their god called Baal.”

Oh. Apparently, Mr. Taylor does think we’re all worshipers of Ba’al. Well, there are worse gods, to be sure. Topping the list would be that psychopathic monster Mr. Taylor worships, who has a most serious problem with women, along with his followers. Terminating a pregnancy is about not breeding, Mr. Taylor. You want women to be forced to breed and birth, with nary a thought for any woman’s health or welfare, and we all know you couldn’t give a shit about the children, either.

Via RWW.

With Christians Like These, Who Needs Enemies?

Screengrab.

There’s been no end of people blaming the people of Houston for the flood, all of them christians. Now, Joyner and Bakker have joined in, with Bakker hawking his horrible ‘food’ inna bucket.

Joyner asserted that the storm had nothing to do with climate change because “the real issue with the weather and everything else on the earth has to do with sin and wickedness.”

“The whole earth will cry out because of the shedding of innocent blood,” he said. “That’s what throws nature off more than dumping CO2 or anything.”

I’ll just assume Joyner is yakking about abortion here, and not the endless imperial wars Amerika starts, or all the brown peoples who get murdered by homicidal cops every day, or anything like that. The earth we walk on, every single day, is blood and bone of all those who have gone before, and that’s a bunch, to say the least. Some of us realize that, and it leads us to respect. Apparently, it leads christians to the conclusion that climate change is no thing, no. My idea of wickedness differs a great deal from theirs. I think they are wicked assholes. Not that it would affect climate change in any way.

“The whole earth” is all manner upsetty by what people in Houston are doing. Amazing. One of the very worst aspects of many Americans is that they think the world begins and ends with Amerika.

That prompted Bakker to declare that he felt that “this flood is from God, it’s a judgment on America,” and Joyner agreed, noting that “these kinds of things don’t happen by accident.”

Oh FFS. Yeah, uh, climate change, dipshit. And yes, these things do happen at random. Always have done, but we’re happily accelerating it all.

Joyner said that Key West, Florida, had been hit by a hurricane “on the day they’re supposed to have the Day of Decadence parade” and another hurricane hit New Orleans right before it hosted another Day of Decadence festival.

“Coincidence? I don’t think so,” he said. “We have to stand up against the perversion of our times and call it what it is.”

Once again, Amerika, it’s not the whole world. Other countries have such fun celebrations, and they aren’t being flooded (something that psychogod of yours promised to never do again. Of course, there was that qualifier about not wiping out everyone via flood. I guess spot flooding is still good) or otherwise wiped out. Gosh, I wonder why not. See if you can figure that one out.

Bakker agreed, saying that the former mayor of Houston “ordered all the preachers to turn in their sermons before they preached them.

That doesn’t sound right at all, and I’ll go with the assumption it’s a lie. Anyone know about that?

Just remember, God gets the last word. God gets the last word. Be not deceived, God is not mocked.”

I mock Jehovah all the damn time. Still here, still intact. People all over the place mock Jehovah. They’re okay, too. You can add sloth to the list of your god’s sins.

Via RWW.

Sunday Facepalm.

Janet Mefferd is all manner upset over a protection in place for LGBT seniors living in long term care. Honestly, I would have thought this would have been too much, even for asshole Christians to target, but no. So many people walk this life in a quiet and often desperate quest for basic acceptance and respect. It’s not an awful thing to expect the barest acceptance and respect to at least be proffered at the end of life, but no, this is a major problem.

On yesterday’s episode of Janet Mefferd Live, Mefferd discussed an article published by The Daily Signal that claimed that the California bill violated the First Amendment rights of doctors and staff working with aging LGBTQ patients. Mefferd also claimed that the bill was offensive to Christians.

“When you consider that we are not to bear false witness as Christians, we cannot call people by the opposite pronoun that they really are,” Mefferd said. “We can’t. It’s lying. It’s engaging in a fiction that is dishonest, and the government cannot compel you to lie.”

Oh my oh my. All of a sudden, you just can’t bear false witness! When it comes to lying, you really have a hard time beating religious people of all types. Christians excel at lying, but of course, if you’re lying for Jesus, it’s okely dokely. Christians lie every damn day, it’s nearly part of the creed, along with stretching, twisting, and battering their own “biblical truths” on a regular basis. We won’t even get into the mass lies of creationists and ‘intelligent design’ proponents. Goodness me, you gotta refer to people by their pronoun of choice! The sky will fall down any moment now.

To be quite clear, using any given person’s pronouns of choice is not a lie. They have let you know who they are, that’s all. Think of it like infants – there’s a reason people ask about infants, you can’t really tell, and they prefer to be respectful. Why not be that way with all other ages? It’s no skin off your nose, and when you offer basic respect to others, you’re much more likely to get it back throughout your life, even when you find yourself in long term elder care. On the other hand, declaring other peoples’ lives to be a fiction is a poisonous evil, and one which should be stopped at every turn. Aged Reasoner has a post up in which it’s stated that you can’t truly know what goes on in someone else’s brain, and I agree with that. We do our best to communicate with others, but in the end, we have to take most people at face value, and go by not just words, but also actions. It is not up to Ms. Mefferd to blithely declare anyone else’s life a fiction; to determine that what happens in their brain to be a lie; to decide that a very person’s life is a lie. There is no attempt to deceive on the part of LGBT people, quite the contrary.

“The fact that they will make no religious exemptions shows the fury with which they view us,” Mefferd continued. “And that’s really not an overstatement, by the way.”

Sigh. No, it’s not fury. Rather the opposite, Ms. Mefferd, but christians aren’t exactly good at figuring out this whole respect toward others business, they think it’s something owed only to themselves. It’s always all about them, and their beliefs. And yes, that’s one fuck of an overstatement, Ms. Mefferd. You don’t get to opt out of the basic rules of a civil society when you like, and of course, that makes you about nuts with spiteful anger. You always want exceptions “give us an exemption!” Then you turn to your wailing and gnashing of teeth, claiming this, that, and the other is persecution. It’s not persecution. You’re simply expected to be inclusive and respectful, which I do realize is christian bane. Go off and create your perfect christian utopia, where you can treat all people like shit, and busy yourself with shoving your nose of judgment everywhere. You’d be happy, and so would everyone else to be shot of you all.

Via RWW.

Yeah, about that Charlie Hebdo cover…

Mano Singham has a good post up about all the upset. As for me, this was my comment there:

Y’know, I don’t really see how this is different from noisy christian assholes saying ‘god’ was punishing Texas for having a gay mayor and allowing abortion. Yet that’s acceptable, and the mockery on the part of Hebdo isn’t.

http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/kevin-swanson-hurricane-harvey-is-gods-judgment-on-houston-for-having-a-very-aggressively-pro-homosexual-mayor/

http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/dave-daubenmire-hurricane-harvey-is-judgment-on-houston-for-abortion-and-having-had-a-lesbian-mayor/

They are saying it’s the victims’ fault, too. No one is yelling about that.

I can’t get all that worked up about the cover. Is it nice to mock victims of a not so natural (climate change) disaster? No. Are there lots of people in Texas, who while they may not be outright nazis, share many a view with them? Probably. Is the United States swirling down the drain of fascism fair game? Yeah, I think it is. When you’re presenting a HUGE fucked-upness on the world stage, you have to learn to take it now and then, and before reacting, at least give yourself a few moments for thinking.

I gave two examples of people who consider themselves to be patriots, conservatives, and christian. They are pointing their minatory finger, and that of Jehovah straight at Texas, and all those victims of the flood. Oh yes, goddidit, and it’s all their fault. They are unabashedly placing the blame on the victims, and yet, not even a whimper of protest, let alone a roar. Until all those fine, outraged Americans find enough spine to spit in the face of their fellow christians hollering judgment, I think you should sit down and be quiet. Look to home, and deal with all the assholes and wannabe terrorists right here. They are everywhere, all around you. Try to have something to say about that.

ETA: Oh, we have another fine example! Texas Secretary of State Rolando Pablos (R-TX):

Quebec’s Minister of International Relations Christine St-Pierre called Pablos to express her sorrow and condolences on behalf of the people of the Canadian province. She also offered equipment and manpower.

Pablos turned it down. Instead he asked for “prayers from the people of Quebec,” the minister relayed.

Understandably, the neighbor to the north was shocked.

“It was a conversation about how devastating the situation is and we want to express our support to the people of Texas,” she told CBC News in an interview.

Isn’t that just splendid, Americans? Goodness, how those republicans do look after your best interests. We deserve every drop of fucking mockery directed our way. Via Raw Story.

A Satanic Frequency Changes Your DNA!

Self-styled ‘prophet’ Mark Taylor is at again, resurrecting all the old shit, Illuminati, Freemasons, and so on. He seems to favour the ultra-lurid flavour of bullshit, while his colleagues in christianity are busy placing the finger of “god” blame for Hurricane Harvey mostly on Houston’s Mayor. That would be a serious case of overkill, but that would be Jehovah’s style. [one, two.]

“I believe what happened on November 8 is the enemy has literally sent out a frequency,” Taylor said, “and it agitated and took control, basically, of those who have their DNA turned over to the enemy. That’s what’s happening. The Illuminati, the Freemasons, all these people, their main goal is to change the DNA of man and they’re doing it through these frequencies.”

So boring. I recently read The Ritual by Adam Nevill, which early on mentioned the Goat of Mendes. I hadn’t heard that particular appellation before, so I looked it up, only to be so disappointed it was only Baphomet, a creation of bloodthirsty christians in their hatred of Muslims back in the good ol’ days, y’know, crusades. (Still a good book, guaranteed to give seasoned hikers one fit after another). This current crap being pitched by Mr. Taylor, it’s so old, and still moronic nonsense. Even the satanic frequency silliness isn’t new. I didn’t listen to the show, but I am curious as to how this particular frequency is being beamed out. Maybe it’s Facebook! Twitter! The evil internet itself! Cell phones! Music! Fox News! It’s Fox News! Uh oh, those electricity poles look suspicious… lock yourself in your closet, now.

Taylor claimed that he is getting “bombarded with emails” from Christians who are being isolated by their friends and families because of their support for Trump and that is “because their DNA is being controlled by the enemy.”

Someone needs to be kind enough to send an extremely basic biology primer to Mr. Taylor. He doesn’t seem to understand how all that biology stuff works. Does the mere mention of DNA still scare christians? I thought that went the way of old nonsense quite a long time ago. Christians who adore Trump aren’t being isolated because “friends and families DNA is being controlled by some nebulous and nefarious enemy” – you said it yourself, Mr. Taylor, it’s their support for Trump that’s doing the trick. You’re the bad guys. That’s why people are turning away. That, and listening to idiots drool adoration of the Tiny Tyrant is nauseating. Easier to wander off and not pay much attention to Uncle Chuck anymore.

Taylor said that the media is broadcasting its audio at 440 Hz, which has been found to “damage your body organs” and “also changes your DNA, which is the goal of the Freemasons, the Illuminati; they want you part of that Illuminati bloodline.”

:falls over laughing: This idiocy is near as old as the hills, I expect Mr. Taylor will soon try to get in on that luscious tinfoil hat money. Although I expect the usual “solution” to Luciferian switched DNA is the usual: prayer. Maybe exorcisms, there’s money to be had there by the ever unscrupulous. I would like to know just how DNA is being changed. What changes are being wrought? Will people start poofing into archangel form, perhaps? Or will they become Overlords, a la Childhood’s End? I imagine Mr. Taylor doesn’t know about those who deeply desire transhumanism and the singularity. I’m sure if he finds out, he’ll manage to work it into his current shtick.

Via RWW, where you can listen, if you so desire. You might want to put a tinfoil cap on first.

Burning Man, It’s Human Sacrifice!

Okay, I love The Wicker Man, one of my fave films. The original, of course. I own the collector’s limited edition director’s cut, and re-watch it now and then. It’s wonderfully irreverent, and Poor Sgt. Howie is so darn uptight. That said, it’s just a movie. Historically, there’s not a lot of proof when it comes to ancient pagans stuffing people into effigies and burning them alive, although this was widely believed to be the case for a good number of years. Burning effigies though, is a time-honoured tradition among humans, and has been done for all manner of reasons. Sometimes, just because it’s fun, and y’know, big bonfire.

Kevin Swanson, pastor and professional nut, has now decided that Burning Man is all about human sacrifice. I’m not exactly sure why, because I am not going to listen to the broadcast. If someone else is brave enough (and with a better connection) to do so, please enlighten me as to any actual reason for this nonsense. Burning an effigy at Burning Man is a defining thing, that much is rather clear in the name of the festival, so I would have thought that was a no-brainer. It’s a tradition, been going on for a long time.

On his radio show last week, right-wing pastor Kevin Swanson argued that the annual Burning Man festival is trying to bring back human sacrifice, but has been unable to do so only “because of the influence of Christ” on our legislators who recognize that the practice is prohibited by Old Testament law.

There’s a helluva lot of sacrificing going on in the old testament, and if most of it wasn’t human, maybe that’s because Jehovah was busy directing this, that, and the other person to indulge in one genocidal slaughter after another. I tend to think that fits the rubric of human sacrifice. Jehovah got pissed at a whole bunch of people, and it was pretty much non-stop killing, with breaks for rape and stuff.

“The only way that we can defend a law, a civil law, against the worship of false gods by way of human sacrifice or animal sacrifice is by applying Old Testament law,” Swanson said. “We don’t serve our foreign gods by human sacrifice or animal sacrifice simply because the word of God doesn’t allow for it and, as Christians, as a Christian worldview, as a Christian legislator, or as a Christian governor, I could not allow it in any given city or state because the Christian worldview only allows for a single sacrifice, and that’s already been accomplished.”

Rats below, that’s quite the word salad you have there, Mr. Swanson. There is no law, civil or otherwise, against worshiping gods of any kind. You’re free to worship anyone or anything you like. As anyone is free to indulge in animal sacrifice when it comes to meals, I don’t see how you get to differentiate over just how someone sacrifices a chicken or such. By the way, Jehovah didn’t have anything against animal sacrifice, it just got up his nose when people sacrificed more to Baal. Then Jehovah would order all those people to be, um, sacrificed.

We don’t “serve our foreign gods”? Who might those be, Mr. Swanson? I thought you subscribed to monotheism. Ah, the christian worldview. You can stuff it, because that is not the worldview held by all people. It’s certainly not held by me.

Swanson said that Burning Man is all about “radical inclusion,” which he insisted is just another name for “radical polytheism [and] radical human sacrifice. This is what they’re headed for. They want to bring human sacrifice back.”

Ooooh, radical inclusion. Sounds good to me. No, it’s not another name for polytheism. Besides, you’re the one talking “foreign gods”. And no one is talking human sacrifice, for fuck’s sake, where do you come up with this shit? Either you’re drinking a right interesting type of Kool-aid, or someone’s slipping something in your coffee, dude.

RWW has the soundcloud, if anyone wants to listen.

Sunday Facepalm.

Wallnau, again. Lance is the gift of never-ending eyerolls. Now it’s Jehovah playing with the stock market, just to fuck about with a few people.

Wallnau was outraged by the fact that several business leaders had resigned from presidential advisory councils in protest of Trump’s comments in the wake of the violence that had occurred at a white nationalist rally in Charlottesville, Virginia last weekend, which ultimately forced Trump to disband the councils entirely.

“They insulted the president and his base,” Wallnau declared. “It doesn’t surprise me [that] the stock market had its first setback today. That’s not a coincidence. That’s not a coincidence, that’s a prophetic response to the uprising and insult that came from these CEOs.”

Uprising? Really? I wouldn’t characterize resigning as an uprising, those are different things, Lance. How is this a prophetic response? Has someone had a nifty prophecy about this, and what, just forgot to say? If there’s insult to be had, it’s on the part of the Tiny Tyrant and his base, asshole bigots, nazis, and your garden variety evil fuckers. Every single one of you is an insult to humanity, and to anyone with actual morals. You have all the benefit of a boil on the arse.

“When those CEOs mocked Trump and made this a political issue, the judgment would come where their pocketbooks are,” he continued. “How fast does God sometimes settle accounts.”

They didn’t make this a political issue, Lance. They simply could not walk past the “presidential” standard of hey, nazis are fine people! Naturally, the Tiny Tyrant could have kept his mouth shut, but no, he had come out with just how awful all those people of colour and their allies are, persecuting those poor nazis. I expect the stock market will be fine, it’s the nature of the beast to fluctuate. As for Jehovah being all speedy and stuff, I guess you don’t subscribe to The Mills of God. That, and the very old concept of ancestral sin is more Jehovah’s thing, y’know, just read your book of psychopathy. Not that any of it originated with your particular god, but it was certainly adopted with enthusiasm.

There’s video at RWW.

Squinkery.

I fell in love with a new word: Squink. It’s onomatopoeically delicious! I had expressed a desire to use this wonderful word, and PZ provided:

Here’s another good use that you’ll find opportunities for all the time: when someone throws out a cloud of incoherent obfuscations for something stupid they’ve just said, they’re squinking. Creationists, MRAs, and Republicans do it all the time — Just watch Jack Kingston or Jeffrey Lord or Kellyann Conway sometime. Nonstop squinking.

The conservative christians propping up the Tiny Tyrant are still busy squinking over the Charlottesville statement:

“I do not believe he was speaking of people giving a Nazi salute or giving racist chants,” Suarez, who is also an advocate for immigration reform, said. “I believe he was speaking of a few who sincerely would not like to see a monument removed, and were not participating in racist activities.”

[…]

Robert Jeffress — who made waves last week by making the highly disputed claim that God has given Trump the authority to “take out” North Korean leader Kim Jong-un — told the Christian Broadcasting Network that Trump “doesn’t have a racist bone in his body,” and that the uproar over his press conference is “just more a style issue.”

Ah, a style issue. Right. It seems that the Tiny Tyrant’s style is to have a few Nazi uniforms hiding in his closet. You can read the full article at Think Progress.

Don Boys at Barbwire is squinking so hard you could hear him a mile away:

…I understand that sensitive Blacks might be offended at Confederate monuments; however, many of us are often offended by many things including their apparent desire to be offended, but we always get over it. They will too. However, they are being encouraged in their insanity by local and federal officials.

[…]

And once again, I will remind everyone that Lincoln’s War of Northern Aggression against the genteel southland was not to free the slaves as Lincoln admitted, but he used it later as a “sales job” to prosecute the war. Taxes, tariffs, and states’ rights to nullification were the original reasons brother fought brother with over 600,000 dead. However, uninformed or dishonest people keep saying otherwise.

Hmmm, from where I sit, I see a white man with an acute sensitivity problem. No worries, Don, you’ll get over it. If you can stomach it, the full column is here.

Guerilla-style spiritual warfare.

Self-styled “prophet” Mark Taylor is at it again, this time loaded with all kinds of war vernacular, made to appeal to asshole christians. This time, it’s the, um, tactic of stealth prayer, which is rather like the texting version of prayer. Shorthand prayer, mumbled here, there, and everywhere. Christians seem to be under the impressing this idiocy works, and stealth prayer is often combined with war terms, like bombing and bombers. Or one could say its often combined with the vocabulary of terrorism.

Taylor revealed that God had recently given him a prayer that allows him to “jam the enemy’s radar” so that the prayer campaign being waged by his team of spiritual warriors cannot be detected while they repent on behalf off all the states that voted for Hillary Clinton in the last election.

“We want to ambush the enemy,” he said. “We’re trying to do guerilla-style spiritual warfare.”

Y’know, there are actual wars going on, if you want to be a patriot warrior so badly, Mr. Taylor. Perhaps you should pitch your idea to the pentagon, and they could send you and your crack team of prayer bombers to a strategic place in an ongoing war zone. Best to be where the action is, right? You’d get cool costumes and everything!

Trump’s election was the result of a national prayer and repentance effort, Taylor said,

Oh the fuck it was. It was the result of meddling in the election by interested parties, you dipshit doucheweasel.

but now God has given him a “blueprint” to guide the effort to remove the demonic “territorial spirits” that control all the states that voted for Clinton.

I really have to wonder if idiots like Mr. Taylor think the blue/red business means that actual states voted, or that every single inhabitant of any given state voted exactly the same way.

“If you want to know the territories where you can go after the enemy, get the electoral map,” he said, explaining that the states that voted for Trump in 2016 had repented but those that went for Clinton had not and are therefore still being controlled by demonic spirits.

Uh huh. Going by that, I’m safe from you idiots because I live in a red state. That did not stop me from voting blue. Bluuuuue.

“This is not about Republican or Democrat,” Taylor claimed, “this is about globalism versus patriotism, it’s about stopping the New World Order, this is about stopping the Enemy’s timeline. That’s why the Enemy is so angry right now, because his timeline has been stopped. God is saying, ‘No, I’m denying the Enemy’s timeline and we’re going by my timeline.’ And right now, it’s time for us to push back the Enemy through this generational repentance on the land, on the people and you will see, as we push the Enemy back, the Gospel will go forth.”

Repentance on the land, eh? Here’s a thought, Mr. Taylor: how about you dumbfucks repent enough to get the hell out of Turtle Island, and give it back to its rightful people? I’m good with that one.

“The blue zones represent depressed areas, the red zones represent the blood of Jesus,” he concluded. “So what we want to do is take those depressed areas, so to speak, and turn them into the blood of Christ.”

:Snort: Boy, do you ever have that one wrong. It’s most of the red states which are seriously depressed economically, and in most other ways, too. Living in a lake of blood sounds messy. And sticky. I’ll pass.

Via RWW.

Michele Bachmann, Pastor to United Nations.

Screengrab.

The Jefferson Gathering, a group of fanatical, conservative christians who have a lock on a good portion of Congress, have decided in their compleat lack of wisdom to “appoint” Michele Bachmann as the new pastor to The United Nations. I imagine this is basically more the ‘aimed prayer’ crap they have going now, or at least I hope so. I can’t imagine Ms. Bachmann being welcomed with open arms by the UN, especially in light of her feelings about that organisation.

The Jefferson Gathering, a project of right-wing pastor Jim Garlow’s Skyline Church through which Pastor Dan Cummings regularly preaches to members of Congress in an effort to drive Satan out of the Capitol.

Last weekend, Garlow announced to his congregation that Skyline will be expanding its prayer efforts to the United Nations with a ministry that will be led by former Rep. Michele Bachmann.

“What if you wanted to disciple all nations and you wanted to reach the whole world?” Garlow asked during his Sunday service. “So God did you a favor, he simply arranged so all the world came to one place at one time so you could reach them all at once. What would you call it? You’d call it the United Nations and that would be the most economical way that you could possible reach the leaders.”

Yabbut y’all think the UN is evil, but you’re gonna go with goddidit?

After discussing the assistance he had received in establishing this ministry from the Religious Right group C-Fam and revealing that Fox News reporter Jon Decker will be working pro bono as its communications director, Garlow proudly introduced “Skyline’s new pastor to the United Nations, Michele Bachmann.”

Bachmann was thrilled by her new mission and told the congregation that this “audacious step” was needed now more than ever.

I rather doubt this is limelight enough for Ms. Bachmann, but I’m sure she’ll maneuver it into something better, perhaps a spot at Fox.

“I don’t know a darker, more deceived place on earth than the U.N.,” she said. “Because as we saw at the Tower of Babel, that’s probably the last time when we saw all the nations of the earth come together in a moment of deception … Their goal has been from the very beginning, the creation of a one-world order; but not a one-world order under the umbrella of the Holy Spirit, a man’s attempt at a one-world order that only brings about chaos, confusion, deception, delusion, pain. And that’s where, rather than cursing the darkness, Skyline Church is about to light a candle.”

Ummmm, did I miss something? “As we saw at the Tower of Babel”? No, no one saw such a thing, for good reason, too. Oh, the spectre of the ecumenical church again! Gad, that was the big bogeyman back in my Jesus Freak days, and that was a long time back. I often wonder how these assholes tread such a fine mental line – they must be all enthusiastic about the apocalypse nonsense, and try to help Jehovah pull that one off, while at the same time, they want to be seen as the only people holding back Jehovah’s will in regard to the terrible apocalypse. Lots of chaos, confusion, deception, and delusion there, to be sure. It will be interesting to see if Ms. Bachmann reaches a point where she thinks it is her right to barge into a UN session and start preaching.

RWW has the story, and video.