Oh Kevin Swanson, the religious extremist’s extremist. He’s at it again, pouring down Jehovah’s wrath in the form of hurricanes, natch. Mr. Swanson has a solution to Hurricane Irma eating Florida, though!
Kevin Swanson declared on his radio program today that the Supreme Court should immediately reverse its Roe v. Wade and Obergefell decisions before God unleashes his judgment on America in the form of Hurricane Irma.
Swanson, who just last week said that Hurricane Harvey was the judgment of God on Houston, said that these “God-ordained disasters” are a warning to this nation to repent for its myriad of sins.
Now, Swanson said this on the 7th this month, and I have to say, it would be a fun experiment, if you could get the Supreme Court to say, okay, the law is suspended until such and such a date, and see if it would magically wither Irma. We all know it wouldn’t have the slightest effect, and the religious reich would claim that Jehovah got all sniffy ’cause it wasn’t a permanent reversal. Of course, it doesn’t take much to make Jehovah all sniffy and pissy.
“God is in control of what is going on,” he said, “and whether or not Irma is going to do $200 billion worth of damage in Miami … is all in the hands of God. Those winds are going to blow where they are going to blow, but they’re going to blow in the direction that God ordains them to go. Friends, God is in complete control and utter control of what is going on with these hurricanes.”
Well, the wind is gonna go where it goes, but Jehovah is in control, you betcha! So, that’s why Mar-a-Lago and other overblown McMansions of conservative assholes are right in the path, and that’s why we’re all getting taxed for the federal coverage of Pres. Pinchpork’s palace. So, one could go with the assumption that Jehovah isn’t upset about gay people, but conservative assholes. Unfortunately, Jehovah’s aim has always been notoriously bad, so a lot of good people are gonna get screwed over here, but Jehovah has never been one to care about ‘collateral damage’.
“The wrath of God against this nation is intense,” Swanson continued. “I wish that American leaders would sit up and pay attention … The Supreme Court of the United States needs to reverse Roe v. Wade and Obergefell now, this afternoon, before Irma does her damage. It would be a good thing if the Supreme Court of the United States understood that God is in control of these things and God is a personality and God is offended by the sins of this nation.”
Oooh, Jehovah is a personality. A psychopathic one. Yeah, I’m not shaking in my boots over your non-existent psychopath, Mr. Swanson. Climate change, on the other hand, there’s reason to be scared shitless.
Via RWW.
We’ve been getting wildfires, but it’s weird that abortin’ and gay-marryin’ Canada isn’t getting punished as hard. Maybe Glob is waiting for us to be legally pot-smokin’ too?
I think the lesser amount of religious reich conservatives is keeping Canada safe. For now.
I was thinking the exact same thing! But that wouldn’t really be His Divine Style, would it? If he was in charge those hurricanes would probably simply veer off and devestate Mexico, South America or more of the Carribean. Or, more likely, nothing would change and we’d soon hear that America just wasn’t penitent enough. Your fault, not god’s. As is usual in these matters, his omnipotent hands are tied.
Of course the celstial PR department still hasn’t realised that a great way to get converts would be to simply disappear the impending disaster and maybe follow up with a bit of scripture explaining how to mitigate and prevent future ones. A bit of blessed carrot would be a nice change from the holy stick he apparently keeps trying on us.
“Alright, I’ll sort this crisis for you but the next one you really ought to handle yourselves.” (So sayeth the Lord, thinking that after 10 millennia of civilisation the self-declared “pinnacle” of his creation ought to be a bit more independent)