With Christians Like These, Who Needs Enemies?


There’s been no end of people blaming the people of Houston for the flood, all of them christians. Now, Joyner and Bakker have joined in, with Bakker hawking his horrible ‘food’ inna bucket.

Joyner asserted that the storm had nothing to do with climate change because “the real issue with the weather and everything else on the earth has to do with sin and wickedness.”

“The whole earth will cry out because of the shedding of innocent blood,” he said. “That’s what throws nature off more than dumping CO2 or anything.”

I’ll just assume Joyner is yakking about abortion here, and not the endless imperial wars Amerika starts, or all the brown peoples who get murdered by homicidal cops every day, or anything like that. The earth we walk on, every single day, is blood and bone of all those who have gone before, and that’s a bunch, to say the least. Some of us realize that, and it leads us to respect. Apparently, it leads christians to the conclusion that climate change is no thing, no. My idea of wickedness differs a great deal from theirs. I think they are wicked assholes. Not that it would affect climate change in any way.

“The whole earth” is all manner upsetty by what people in Houston are doing. Amazing. One of the very worst aspects of many Americans is that they think the world begins and ends with Amerika.

That prompted Bakker to declare that he felt that “this flood is from God, it’s a judgment on America,” and Joyner agreed, noting that “these kinds of things don’t happen by accident.”

Oh FFS. Yeah, uh, climate change, dipshit. And yes, these things do happen at random. Always have done, but we’re happily accelerating it all.

Joyner said that Key West, Florida, had been hit by a hurricane “on the day they’re supposed to have the Day of Decadence parade” and another hurricane hit New Orleans right before it hosted another Day of Decadence festival.

“Coincidence? I don’t think so,” he said. “We have to stand up against the perversion of our times and call it what it is.”

Once again, Amerika, it’s not the whole world. Other countries have such fun celebrations, and they aren’t being flooded (something that psychogod of yours promised to never do again. Of course, there was that qualifier about not wiping out everyone via flood. I guess spot flooding is still good) or otherwise wiped out. Gosh, I wonder why not. See if you can figure that one out.

Bakker agreed, saying that the former mayor of Houston “ordered all the preachers to turn in their sermons before they preached them.

That doesn’t sound right at all, and I’ll go with the assumption it’s a lie. Anyone know about that?

Just remember, God gets the last word. God gets the last word. Be not deceived, God is not mocked.”

I mock Jehovah all the damn time. Still here, still intact. People all over the place mock Jehovah. They’re okay, too. You can add sloth to the list of your god’s sins.

Via RWW.


  1. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    God is not mocked

    So … he’s saying that with Piss Christ or Eddie Izzard stand-up routines or thousands of statements right here on FtB that we’re only mocking the human religionists and that even when we’re apparently mocking some god or other, that it’s not actually possible to be mocking that god (or any other)?

    Hmm. I can think of a framework in which I would agree. That, however, would require that Bakker be a knowing con artist. How could that be?

  2. blf says

    the former mayor of Houston ‘ordered all the preachers to turn in their sermons before they preached them.

    That doesn’t sound right at all, and I’ll go with the assumption it’s a lie. Anyone know about that?


    Did the city of Houston, Texas, subpoena pastors’ sermons as part of a crackdown on preaching against homosexuality?


    On 28 May 2014, Houston Mayor Annise Parker signed the controversial Houston Equal Rights Ordinance (HERO) into law. […]


    After the passage of HERO, opponents of the ordinance began to collect signatures to put a repeal measure on the ballot. On 3 July 2014 HERO opponents delivered more than 50,000 signatures to the city of Houston, but a month later the city announced proponents of the repeal were “2,000 valid signatures short of the 17,269-signature threshold” and that “most of the pages contained mistakes that invalidated the entire page of signatures.”

    On 7 August 2014, HERO was placed on hold after opponents of the ordinance filed suit against the city with the help of the Alliance Defending Freedom, a conservative Christian legal advocacy group focused largely on opposing same-sex marriage and abortion. The following month city attorneys subpoenaed sermons given by local pastors who oppose the law and are tied to the conservative Christian activists who have sued the city.


    Critics have contended that the subpoenas are an infringement on religious liberties, that they are intended to punish and intimidate those who dared to step-up and oppose the city council, and that the specific and seemingly unrelated nature of the subpoenaed material suggests the discovery investigation is really about a crackdown on political or anti-homosexual preaching in city churches. Houston city officials maintain the subpoenas are about determining the validity of the petitions seeking the recall of HERO and the manner in which signatures for them were gathered […]

    The claim does seem to be a lie in that the subpoenas were apparently for sermons already given prior to the HERO repeal petitions, apparently as part of the “discovery” phase of a lawsuit.

  3. rietpluim says

    Why do people worship a God who floods an entire city, killing 44 people and leaving countless others homeless, just because He was pissed off by some of them? Some people really have no sense of morality, do they?

  4. says

    No, they don’t. They are, however, making a fucktonne of money. As for the faithful who supply all that money, yeah, I don’t know.

  5. blf says

    These two have been hallucinating for some years now. For instance (May-2014):

    According to Jim Bakker and Rick Joyner the government has now banned criticism of Obama. And yes, they actually seem to believe that. Bias and bigotry is not quite enough to explain it; you have to add stupidity.

    The embedded link to RWW doesn’t explain how the feckwits came to that conclusion (there is a video at that link if anyone cares to try and endure ranting hysteria).

  6. militantagnostic says

    Oh FFS. Yeah, uh, climate change, dipshit.

    Don’t forget the lack of zoning, building on flood plains etc. This is basically the other side of the same of don’t give a fuck about the future capitalism.

  7. says

    God is pissed that Jim Bakker only served 4 years of his 45 year sentence. Until he’s back in the big house, god’s gonna keep kicking America’s ass. I know this because my breakfast muffin this morning was a sign from the lord.

  8. says


    I know this because my breakfast muffin this morning was a sign from the lord.

    Imma go take another look at the muffins in the kitchen.

  9. blf says

    Imma go take another look at the muffins in the kitchen.

    I presume any muffins there were in the kitchen are now inside the rats. Just what that’s a sign of is unclear†, even in general terms, so expect a volcano or similar to further clarifyconfuse. Possibly also a plague of walruses hopping about the place like kangaroos whilst yodeling.

      † Other than perpetually-hungry rats, that is.

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