Trolling


Warning: Sculpted Genitalia

I don’t play kickstarter much, but I occasionally dabble. Mostly, I see it as an interesting alternative way of funding art; I’m not a big fan of The Gallery System and I like to see a way creative people can get something done, publicized, and out there.

So I backed this one [troll] and mine arrived while I was in Oregon:

You have to appreciate the details.

I used to play with trolls when I was a kid, and I thought they had bigger hands. The right hand can grip a (provided) cell phone for twittering.

The phone appears to have runic text (nice!) and I am too lazy to decode it:

I’m sure it’s respectful, though.

Comments

  1. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    The runic text doesn’t look like any language I recognize. The MnMR bit in the 2nd line is definitely 3 vowels in a row, ending (I think) in a “B” voiced plosive. I’m pretty sure the vowels are OaO – So you bet something like “Loaob”. Perhaps that means something in Dwarven or some other underworld-language spoken by Tolkien’s trolls, but it certainly isn’t a simple matter of transliterating into Roman lettering and reading the English.

    Perhaps Gilliel or David Marjonovic could help.

  2. cartomancer says

    It’s in the Anglo-Saxon Futhorc. It says “I’ll never release my taxes” three times.

    Fake Chronicles! The mainstream monasteries are all out to get me! Just look at Lady Godiva’s unsecured personal carrier pigeon server! Sad!

  3. NYC atheist says

    @4 cartomancer
    I didn’t know that was what it was called, but we used to use it in high school to keep the authorities in the dark if they intercepted our notes.

    This was pre smart phones, obv.

  4. chigau (違う) says

    Marcus
    Have you considered offering this demon to Caine?
    She could give it to the rats and document their … commentary…

  5. says

    chigau@#7:
    I have a bad habit of stocking things; Caine’s was in the mail yesterday and ought to arrive tomorrow. I, uh, didn’t think to issue a warning. I have a red self-inking stamp that says “WEIRD CONTENTS” and I stamped it all over the box. Am I bad?

  6. chigau (違う) says

    Marcus
    I am confident that Caine can … uh … deal with … any content you provide.
    I’m a bit more concerned with the US Postal Service.

  7. kestrel says

    re: chigau, #9, and the US Postal Service.

    I’m imagining US Customs opening this package. I’m also trying to imagine how one would describe the contents on the Customs declaration form. I find such thoughts cheering.

  8. says

    Marcus:

    I have a bad habit of stocking things; Caine’s was in the mail yesterday and ought to arrive tomorrow. I, uh, didn’t think to issue a warning. I have a red self-inking stamp that says “WEIRD CONTENTS” and I stamped it all over the box. Am I bad?

    ! I’m getting the ugliest troll ever? Um, thank you. I loved Troll Dolls when I was a sprog. My favourite one had long black hair with a vivid pink streak down the middle. Nasty fucking nun caught me with it in school and threw it in the trash in front of me.

  9. jazzlet says

    Yes, the trolls did have bigger hands than that creepy one does.

    Sorry about your missing troll Caine, that sort of meaness to a kid ought to be punished in hell, if only it existed

  10. says

    Jazzlet:

    Sorry about your missing troll Caine, that sort of meaness to a kid ought to be punished in hell, if only it existed

    Thanks. She was a nasty dragon, but most of them were.

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