Hey, Art!

Not really. :D This is one of the T-shirts I was using when doing Submerged, then the rats did their part. I’m sure if I was enough of a pretentious twit, framed it, stuck it in a gallery, and made up a buncha twaddle about its significance, I could make good change off it. That won’t happen though. It’s gone back to the rats. Click for full size.

© C. Ford.

Have $99900?



*Not for real, people.

Now, why can’t we have ad which reads: Hunt The Trump Brothers, This Fall!

Via Craigslist.

Aww, No Gluten-Free Jesus.

An assistant prepares ciboria of hosts for Communion before Pope Francis’s celebration of Mass marking the feast of Pentecost in St. Peter’s Square at the Vatican June 4. ( Credit: Paul Haring/CNS.)

Pope Frank has ruled that gluten-free hosts are out of the question. Low gluten is okay, though. A call for eucharist oversight has been added, apparently there’s some distress about the wide availability of hosts, why you can even get them on the internets! *gasp*

Because bread and wine for the Eucharist are no longer supplied just by religious communities, but “are also sold in supermarkets and other stores and even over the internet,” bishops should set up guidelines, an oversight body and/or even a form of certification to help “remove any doubt about the validity of the matter for the Eucharist,” the Vatican’s Congregation for Divine Worship and the Sacraments said.

You really have to love the absolute silliness of the whole transubstantiation business. It’s so wonderfully contradictory, and well, just absurd. Here’s a bit of it:

The letter also reiterated norms already in place regarding Eucharistic matter:

– “The bread used in the celebration of the most holy Eucharistic sacrifice must be unleavened, purely of wheat, and recently made so that there is no danger of decomposition.”

I would have thought that Jesus, being a god and all, wouldn’t be subject to decomposition.

– Bread made from another substance, even grain or mixed with another substance so different from wheat that it would not commonly be considered wheat bread, “does not constitute valid matter.”

– The introduction of any other substances, “such as fruit or sugar or honey, into the bread for confecting the Eucharist,” it said, “is a grave abuse.”

Why? A tiny sliver of a pleasurable sensation would be that mortal [as in sin] in nature? Sugar is inimical to Jesus? Hmmm. So, Jehovah can be defeated with iron, or a chariot, if you have one handy, and Jesus can be handled with a liberal application of sugar, fruit, or honey. Good to know.

– Low-gluten hosts are valid matter for people who, “for varying and grave reasons, cannot consume bread made in the usual manner,” provided the hosts “contain a sufficient amount of gluten to obtain the confection of bread without the addition of foreign materials and without the use of procedures that would alter the nature of bread.”

– Completely gluten-free hosts continue to be “invalid matter for the celebration of the Eucharist.”

Who would have thought Jesus to be so darn complex?

– Eucharistic matter made with genetically modified organisms can be considered valid matter.

I think I’d like some details here.

The U.S. bishops’ Committee on Divine Worship has said Catholics who cannot receive Communion wafers at all, even under the species of low-gluten hosts, “may receive Holy Communion under the species of wine only.” The church teaches that “under either species of bread or wine, the whole Christ is received,” it said.

There, the whole matter of baked Jesus is now settled.

The whole silly mess is here.

A Burden Of Buzzwords In A Blurb.

So, I’m reading an article, and get stuck on “activated cashews”.  WTF are activated cashews? I already know that yes, cashews are good for you, in moderation, like many things. I also knew I was going to be very sorry for clicking on the cashew link. Yep, definitely sorry. It’s certainly easy to take money from people who have an excess of it, and apparently, one hell of a deficit in the sense department. What are activated cashews? A serious excess of empty buzzwords, signifying nothing, and a small bag of very overpriced nuts. Here’s the buzzy blurb:

Our enzyme-rich, activated, and dehydrated cashews are a mineral-dense protein. Pure, alkaline water awakens the nuts’ dormant properties, increasing digestibility and micronutrient, vitamin, and enzyme count. These raw, activated, bio-available nuts are a low-glycemic, anti-inflammatory source of omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids that nourish skin, bones, and heart.

Perfect for high functioning snacking and activated nut milks, topping yogurts, puddings, and cereals, and for creating treats like granolas, cookies, crackers,  and your magical creations we haven’t discovered yet.

INGREDIENTS: Raw, organic, activated cashews

Gluten-free and non-GMO

As to why you need to activate nuts, or pay outrageous amounts of money for them? If you guessed this is a traditional method among certain cultures…bingo! I didn’t go into it enough to see just which particular tradition and culture is being co-opted here, but it all seems to trace back to one particular person, and a bunch of gullible idiots glommed onto it. Here’s a bit of it:

They seem like a great choice of snack – high in protein and essential fats, and riddled with fibre, antioxidants and minerals. This we know to be true, but they also contain natural chemicals that could interfere with your digestive system and prevent you from absorbing all of that wonderful nutrition.

Similar to how grains and legumes contain phytic acid, nuts contain enzyme inhibitors. Enzyme inhibitors act by binding to enzymes and decrease and/or block their actions. The enzyme inhibitors are beneficial to nuts, as they prevent the nuts from prematurely sprouting, however they also act on our digestive enzymes, preventing their proper digestion and absorption.

Nuts and seeds also contain small amount of phytic acid, which our digestive system is also unable to break down. Eating large amounts of raw nuts could then lead to symptoms such as feeling ‘heavy’, feelings of uncomfortable fullness, even nausea. Not only this, but it puts a massive strain on our our digestive system, compromising already fragile digestive tracts.


Activating nuts is an ancient and traditional practice that required the soaking of nuts and seeds in brine and letting them dry in the hot sun. Nowadays, we have a much faster and more sanitary method of drying, but the objective remains the same.

The soaking times of nuts vary according to what text you read. My personal method of activating nuts is inspired by Sally Fallon, as described in her book, “Nourishing Traditions”.
How to activate your nuts…

  1. Dissolve salt in enough water to cover the amount of nuts/seeds you are activating.
  2. In a large bowl place your nut or seed of choice.
  3. Cover with the salt water solution.
  4. Soak for the required number of hours.
  5. Strain and rinse the nuts.
  6. Spread over a dehydrator rack, or baking tray.
  7. Dry in the dehydrator for around 12-24 hours.
  8. If drying in the oven, set the oven at the lowest temperature possible, preferably no more than 65C. Stir or turn them occasionally, for the required drying time.
  9. And the result? A crunchy, delicious, totally bio-available and stress-free, nut!

It is important to ensure that your nuts really are dry and crispy before removing them from the dehydrator or oven, otherwise there is a risk that your beautiful and expensive nuts will become riddled with mould.

But mould is natural! Probably fuckin’ traditional somewhere in the world too, if you just look hard enough. Sweet Zombie Jesus, there are a lot of idiots in the world. It’s certainly easy enough to see why some people just decide to start picking pockets on a large scale, you can just make shit up wholesale, plaster buzziness all over it, and before you know it, you have a mattress full of money.


I’ll admit, I don’t pay much attention to Spicer or Sanders, there’s little point. Normally, I transcribe tweets, but I’m at a loss here, and can’t do it. I’m not much on smileys, and I loathe emojis. I’m far from alone on the WTF here, though. Seems no one has quite figured out what in the hell that mess is supposed to mean. Perhaps she had her phone in a back pocket, and instead of dialing 911, it did this? The dog tried to eat it? Cat pissed on it? The emoticon equivalent of wp9uuflkjasfnm3e8nsp;’a;d?  At least with pet rats, I have an excuse. They are geniuses when it comes to keyboards of any kind, and often execute commands, but they don’t do stuff like this. Who knows…

Via Raw Story.

Sunday Facepalm.

Uh Oh, it’s the Apocalypse. Again. I’ll confess, I didn’t watch the video, but I love that capture of Bakker holding up a piece of paper, with ‘Words’ written on it. There are definite echoes of A High-Tech Lynching! A Crucifixion! A Tsunami! An Earthquake! The Gates of Hell! in Bakker’s latest apocalyptic admonition.

Jim Bakker repeated his claims that criticism of Donald Trump is inciting violence and bringing about the Apocalypse and End Times, and asserted that conservative media pundits are being targeted for persecution.

Oh, the brutal bugbear of modern times – criticism! Criticism, no matter how mild, constructive, or politely couched, now considered the equivalent of purges, witch hunts, and lynchings in certain quarters, and it is beyond absurd. While criticism can certainly sting, it’s not life threatening, and it’s not a terroristic act, either. Regimes are noted for their hatred and fear of dissent and criticism though, and this does get confirmed, time and time again.

Bakker pointed to attacks on Trump as proof that “the Apocalypse has already began” and “the spirit of Antichrist” is growing in America.

“They want to kill our president, President Trump, with words,” he said. “They want to assassinate his person.”

Honestly, no one needs to go to the trouble of doing so. The Tiny Tyrant does a great job of assassinating his own character, such as it is.

Critical words about Trump, according to Bakker, are the fulfillment of biblical prophecy about the First Horseman of the Apocalypse.

He pointed to the cancellation of a Tim Allen sitcom as further proof that conservatives are under attack.

Uh…okay. The first horse, the white one, is the one which is most disputed, and interpreted rather widely. Could be Conquest, Christ, The Antichrist, Pestilence, Evil, or Empire Prosperity. Now, apparently, the rider of the white horse is Criticism! Oh woe is us and all that shit. As for Tim Allen, what? And more to the point, who fucking cares? I’d assume a sitcom being cancelled was due to the fact it wasn’t bringing in eyeballs. Or money. Most likely due to not being funny.

Bakker claimed that “the devil is trying to cut out the voice of the church” and that “they’re eliminating anyone that is pro-Trump from every broadcast; soon, very soon, the only conservatives will be on Christian television and then we’re the next target—write it down!”

Seems to me you can’t get rid of pro-Trump people in all sorts of broadcast; they’re worse than lice. If you want to claim that conservatives are being herded toward the last bastion of Christian television, you’re going to have to do some work first: Get rid of Fox news would be number one on the list. Then, scrub the internet clean. This is your mission, if you wish to be perceived as persecuted and oppressed. Good luck. This tape will self destruct in 5 seconds.

“They hate Trump,” he said. “What is this? This is not a normal spirit. This is not a normal hate. This is that spirit of the First Horse of the Apocalypse, which is riding now. It’s the spirit of hatred that’s taking over America and life and death is in the power of the tongue.”

Oh, you Christians are the specialists in hate. Most of the rest of us can’t be bothered to expend that sort of energy. I don’t hate the Tiny Tyrant. I don’t know him well enough for that. I find him disgusting, disturbingly narcissistic, incompetent to the nth degree, and remarkably devoid of skill and talent, yes. I definitely want the Volatile Clown kicked out of the political circus. After that, I don’t care what he does, just like I didn’t care before.  As for a spirit of hatred, mmm, with hateful bigots, neoNazis, and fascists all pouring out of the woodwork in support of their wannabe dictator, that’s a fair enough statement. You’re just misplacing the source of the hate.

As for power of the tongue, yes, words are indeed powerful. That would be why you should actually be more focused on not spreading hatred; and why you should pay attention when those words turn critical.

Via RWW, the video is there.

Tuesday Teen Tip, It’s A Trip!

I am so loopy, out of it with pain, and likely to be a space cadet for a day or two, until I have meds and couple of nights of sleep under me. Earlier, I was looking for a book, and came across this little tome I picked up at a thrift store some time back, because it made me laugh so much. In 1970, I was already well aimed down the hippie path, and I never saw this book then, which was when it was published. It is stuffed full of all that horribly cringeworthy advice that adults aimed at you when trying to be hip. If I remember, I’ll do some at random on Tuesdays. Naturally, all these incredibly groovy tips for tuned-in teens is aimed at girls only.

From the Boys! Boys! Boys! Where to find yours, and how to keep him that way section:

“Most boys hate sarcasm in a girl. You may be a quick wit with your girl friends, but cool it when he’s around.”

“Know enough about sports to keep up a conversation with boys, but don’t know more than they do.”

“Want to make sure whether or not he loves you? The following is as good a method as any. Place side by side a glowing ember and an ice cube. If the ice puts out the ember, then his heart is cold. But if the ember melts the ice, you’ve won him!”

From The Look You’ll Love, it’s still you – only prettier section:

“After you get dressed, have fixed your hair, and put on your make-up, look in the mirror. Something’s missing, right? Right! You forgot your smile – perhaps the most important “final touch” any girl can put on. A pleasant smile can turn even a plain girl into a beauty. And it can turn a beauty into . . . wow!”

[I hated fake smiling then, hate it now.]

“Eye drops are an important cosmetic. Use it before applying make-up for that starry-orbed look and to erase redness.”

“Fasten a mirror inside your notebook for peeks between classes to make sure make-up is still on.”

“Many girls put on their prettiest faces only for school or dates. They’ll spend Saturday morning in curlers and creams. But suppose he suddenly turns up and gets frightened away? Don’t make this mistake. Be your best you all the time. If curl you must, tie on an attractive kerchief. As for beauty creams – please, stay off the street. As a matter of fact, stay in your room! Beauty demands a price, and pay this one willingly.”

[I vaguely remember rolling my eyes over such as that ^.]

“Fasten on a super long, superfake braid and let it be perky down your back. Makes shorties look like tallies!”

[Oh, I remember those things, they were everywhere. Mine was real. Still is.]

That’s all for today, groovy gals and guys!

Suing Italy and Israel on Behalf of Jesus.

Dola Indidis.

Dola Indidis.

A Kenyan lawyer, Dola Indidis has decided to sue some very long dead people, along with Israel and Italy, for the unlawful trial and execution of Jesus. Why? Well, someone has to uphold the dignity of Jesus. (Jesus can’t do that, because he’s stuck in an oak tree right now.)

A Kenyan lawyer has filed a petition with the International Court of Justice in The Hague, suggesting that the trial and crucifixion of Jesus Christ was unlawful. … The former spokesman of the Kenyan Judiciary is reportedly attempting to sue Tiberius (emperor of Rome, 42 BCE-37 CE), Pontius Pilate, a selection of Jewish elders, King Herod, the Republic of Italy and the State of Israel.

“Evidence today is on record in the Bible, and you cannot discredit the Bible,” Indidis told the Kenyan Citizen News.

Oh, sure you can discredit the bible. It’s one of the easiest messes to discredit. Barely takes any time or work at all. It’s a bit bothersome that an attorney doesn’t realize that the bible is a mashed up mess of stories, heavily edited over the years, with many different versions, which often contradict one another, and that does not constitute evidence. I would seriously hope that attorneys have a grasp on the concept of evidence.

Although those he suggests should have been convicted during the original trial have not been alive for more than 2,000 years, Indidis insists that the government for whom they acted can and should still be held responsible.

“I filed the case because it’s my duty to uphold the dignity of Jesus and I have gone to the ICJ to seek justice for the man from Nazareth,” Indidis told the Nairobian.

“His selective and malicious prosecution violated his human rights through judicial misconduct, abuse of office bias and prejudice.”

Dude, Jesus is supposed to be a god, so I’d think he can handle his own dignity issues. Also, the whole crucifixion nonsense was set up by Jehovah in the first place – that’s why he got busy with little Mary in the first fuckin’ place. Jehovah isn’t much good at planning, that much shows up clearly in the bible – he’s basically good at genocide, rape, and various gruesome punishments, so the whole “I’ll have kid and kill him” plan, yep, that’s Jehovah all over.

He is challenging the mode of questioning used during Jesus’s trial, prosecution, hearing and sentencing; the form of punishment meted out to him while undergoing judicial proceedings and the substance of the information used to convict him.

The substance of information? I’m pretty sure you don’t know what that means at all, Mr. Indidis, given that you think the bible is evidentiary in nature. I’m also curious as to who is footing the bill for all this nonsense.

Full story here.

Jesus Tree.

Copyright 2017 by KPRC Click2Houston - All rights reserved.

Copyright 2017 by KPRC Click2Houston – All rights reserved.

Do you see Jesus? Right there, in the tree, for true! A woman has claimed to see Jesus in an oak tree, and if you click over and watch the video, it’s easy enough to see why. Her house is crammed full of religious icons, statues, paintings, all that. I did laugh, watching part of the video, where they zoomed back from the tree, and superimposed a white Jesus image over the tree, so that people would know how to locate Tree Jesus.

“I was looking out the window and there he was,” Clack said. “I have little square panes in my windows, and it looked like it was framed. I just laughed and said, ‘Lord, you even framed it for me.’”

Clack, who is Catholic, said she noticed it around 4 p.m. when the sun shone on it. She describes the figure as “a big face.”

“Remember, it’s bark,” she said. “When you stand back 15 feet or so, (you can see it) — it’s a big face.”

Now I’m curious – do all the acorns have tiny baby Jesuses? This would also make Jesus a Dryad. Uh oh, he fell into the wrong mythos.


Xmas Packaging.

I think there might be a roll or two of very dusty wrapping paper, somewhere in the house. I’ll confess to a love of wrapping paper with creative design, but it’s quite a waste. So I got out the cheapshit markers. As You can see, I have a ways to go, so best back to it. :D



© C. Ford.