A High-Tech Lynching! A Crucifixion! A Tsunami! An Earthquake! The Gates of Hell!

It’s customary for the Religious Reich and Uber-Conservatives to employ purple hyperbole, but Wayne Allen Root takes this habit to a whole new level. To say his latest screed is hyperbole overkill is something of an understatement. I’m rather surprised he omitted witch hunt and purge. Well, perhaps he felt the lynching and crucifixion were enough to get on with, along with the triune of Trump, William Wallace, and Jesus Christ. There’s a trinity for you.

Root says that Trump, like William Wallace and Jesus Christ, is a champion of the people and is now “facing one of the most intense, over-the-top, attacks ever seen in world history,” orchestrated by the “deep state,” the media, and “disgusting, disgraced people” like Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

“They have to stop him at all costs,” Root said. “Not just stop him, destroy him. Lynch him. Crucify him. They need to send a clear message, so no one ever tries to educate, enlighten, or empower the people ever again. That’s why the gates of hell have been opened on President Trump. That’s why Trump is facing a tsunami, earthquake, tornado, hailstorm all in one.”

Okay, perhaps I’m simply easy to amuse, but I got a good laugh out of the notion that Trump, in any way, educates, enlightens, or empowers anyone. (Empowering himself and family, yes. Everyone and everything else? No.) As for the weather hyperbole, if we don’t get busy on the whole climate change is coming to get you, Barbara, that might happen to lots of us.

“They need to kill Trump,” he said, “whether it be character assassination or the real thing, aka murder.”

“Never in all my years in politics have I ever [seen?] anything like the way the gates of hell have been unleashed on Donald Trump,” Root said. “This isn’t just an old-fashioned attack, it isn’t random. This is a coordinated conspiracy to destroy Trump. This is a high-tech lynching. This is a crucifixion!”

How does one go about a high-tech lynching? Is that the same as a cyber-lynching, or just better tools? It never ceases to amaze just how much privileged white people love to invoke the very real terror of lynching, as if it were remotely applicable to themselves.

“And that’s why we must all support President Trump,” Root warned. “If we don’t back Trump now, if you don’t back Trump now, it’s all lost forever. It’s time to fight like a cornered wolverine. It’s time to fight like it’s the end of America, because it is. We can’t go back in time and save Sir William Wallace. We can’t go back and save Jesus Christ from being nailed to that cross. But we can change the future course of history today. There is still time to stand with Donald Trump against the forces of evil.”

I’m pretty sure you don’t want to go back in time to save your buddy Jesus. If you did that, you wouldn’t have your seriously twisted religion, would you? Well, actually, I’d be fine with that, make it so, okay? And stop besmirching the reputation of Wallace with your awful comparisons. Trump is no William Wallace. George, maybe. Anyone else getting the “I just found out about Wallace, I must use it!” vibe in this rant?

Via RWW.


  1. chigau (違う) says

    I’m pretty sure he knows as much about William Wallace as Trump knows about Frederick Douglass.

  2. rq says

    Omelettes, eggs, etc. Don’t the Republicans know a good sacrifice when they see one?

  3. Kengi says

    If this was Dune and Trump is Beast Rabban, who is Feyd-Rautha?

    Someone Rabban/Trump lusts after, uses their power for personal gain and is overwhelmingly concerned with appearances. I think we are talking about Ivanka.

  4. Kengi says

    Which leads me to, where in the hell is our Maud’Dib?

    Shouldn’t messiah’s be Jewish? I think Bernie could rock in a stillsuit.

  5. Kengi says

    Which makes Steve Bannon a sandworm, right? Which means Bernie would stick hooks in bannon and ride him around the desert.

  6. says


    Shouldn’t messiah’s be Jewish?

    I don’t think that should be a requirement. Why in the fuck limit anything to christianity, most senseless and boring religion ever?

  7. says

    No, it wouldn’t be little Ivana. She is the one thing he would not willingly sacrifice, ’cause he needs his little lust object, his point of pride. Everyone else, yeah, he’d sacrifice.

  8. says

    I suspect Root knows about Wallace because of Braveheart. He probably figures Mel Gibson was persecuted by the forces of political correctness.

  9. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    This isn’t just an old-fashioned attack, it isn’t random.

    See, in the old days, attacks were random. You couldn’t see it coming. There was no organization involved. Just some dude whose brain randomly malfunctions in a way that generates unprovoked violence unmotivated by anything at all.

    I mean, take Francisco Pizarro: There he was, conducting routine diplomatic exchange between the Spanish crown and the Incan imperial government when, BLAMMO! he kills Atahualpa and claims the entire Andes for Spain.

    Old fashioned! Random! Surely regrettable, but what can you do? Sometimes European brains just snap, dont’cha know? And really, he told Atahualpa to put his hands up and to get his wallet out & show some ID. Then the Emperor, like an idiot, violated at least one of those two orders. Maybe Pizarro overreacted a bit, but what would you do if someone with command of several thousand armed men refused to obey a reasonable command?

    Man, If only the attacks against Trump were Old-timey and random, surely we could all agree that there was no need to address them after the fact? It’s just these horrifying, pre-meditated conspiracies to express dissent and act like the press is free to print up any true fact at all, and even to insert statements of opinion that disagree with our Fair Leader!

    It’s horrifying! I’m horrified -- are you horrified? Horrifying!

  10. says


    It’s horrifying! I’m horrified — are you horrified? Horrifying!

    I’m so damn horrified Imma go get myself a glass of Zinfandel. And feed the rats before they conspire against me.

  11. johnson catman says

    This is a coordinated conspiracy to destroy Trump.

    Because 45 is totally blameless in his own demise.

  12. Ice Swimmer says

    Jesus rode to Jerusalem on an ass. Assholes are riding on Jesus to Washington D.C.

  13. says

    Ice Swimmer:

    Jesus rode to Jerusalem on an ass. Assholes are riding on Jesus to Washington D.C.

    Hahahahahahahaha. Hee. Hahahahahahaha. Perfect comment.

  14. Ice Swimmer says

    My comment was a translation and adaptation of a quip by the radical left wing priest Terho Pursiainen, who commented on the party that is nowadays the (not hugely successful) Christian Democratic Party of Finland by saying (my rather direct translation): “Jesus rode on a donkey to Jerusalem, Now donkeys are riding on Jesus to the parliament.”

  15. lumipuna says

    In Finnish, donkey/ass is metaphor for a stupid person. I think the joke really works better when adapted for English.

    gates of hell have been unleashed on Donald Trump

    …Gog and Magog are open…metaphors are being mixed in savage slaughter…

  16. KG says

    I’ve never seen Braveheart, but somehow I doubt whether it laid much stress on Wallace’s plundering raid into England after his victory at Stirling:

    The Scottish invasion of England in 1297 thus appears to have been a prolonged exercise in devastation and a barely controlled quest for plunder, motivated by popular feelings of vengeance and euphoria in the wake of victory and by hardship in Scotland. It must be said that the invasion does not show William Wallace in the best of lights. It is ironic this is the best documented episode in Wallace’s career; for this brief period his shadowy figure steps onto the better illuminated stage of England, and, from what we can tell, he is not very firmly in control of events.

    (I note that I campaigned for an independent Scoltand in 2014, and plan to do so again if we get a second Indyref!)

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