[Content Warning: Tucker Carlson]
[Data Warning: Image Rich]
I had a bit of a brain-fart the other night and went on such a creating binge on Midjourney that I have a huge new slough of images that I was having trouble sorting through, until I decided to … dump them on you.
The question of “what to do about confederate statues?” keeps cropping up, because America is unwilling to just get rid of them. I was, however, happy to see that Fort Hood is being renamed, as are other government facilities. It’s past time. Then, I thought, we could rename them ironically – or, better yet, outright insultingly.
So, in no particular order, here are some of Midjourney’s interpretations of things I think would make good memorial statues.
The statue outside of the Stephen Miller memorial Gulag:
Midjourney AI and mjr: “the stephen miller memorial gulag, with bronze statue”
Midjourney had trouble with this one. I tried a half dozen or so prompts and never got exactly what I wanted, which was more elaborate “/imagine the bronze animatronic talking head of tucker carlson that sends text messages about you when you’re not looking.”
Midjourney AI and mjr: “the animatronic bronze talking head of Tucker Carlson”
I tried a bunch of things including feeding Midjourney some ventriloquist dolls, and mechanical turks. Resolutely, it produced nothing as bad as Carlson.
I tried to get it to produce a bronze urinal into which passers-by could relieve themselves, but Midjourney’s content filters are a problem when you start getting into that kind of thing.
Midjourney AI and mjr: “a bronze memorial to Tucker Carlson, lying weaselly jerk.”
I do not know why Midjourney appears to have decided to situate this statue in the baggage claim area of San Francisco International:
Midjourney AI and mjr: “the bronze statue of Alex Jones, podcaster.”
This one, I really like. I would love to see this somewhere in Washington. For the memories:
Midjourney AI and mjr: “the bronze statue of the trumpist bigot”
Again, I love how Midjourney ‘decided’ that this statue should be outside of the New York Stock Exchange (a building I have been in many times, and immediately recognized)
Midjourney AI and mjr: “A bronze statue of the financial market manipulators.”
Midjourney AI and mjr: “a bronze statue to the corrupt irish beat cop.”
I hope you’ll agree that this next one sets the bar pretty, uh, somewhere:
Midjourney AI and mjr: “the bronze statue to a karen, in the park, interfering with everyone.”
Naturally, that made me think of other good statues for old New York City, which led me to this one:
Midjourney AI and mjr: “bronze statue to the mafia don.”
Midjourney AI and mjr: “bronze statue to the conspiracy theorist”
I love that Midjourney chose a neo/realist stalinist look for this one:
Midjourney AI and mjr: “a bronze statue of the antifa street fighter.”
Naturally, it would have to stand across the street from the bronze statue to the proud boys. Someone import some pigeons, stat! This is an important thing – statues should also reflect our shame and embarrassment. They should remind us of our greatness and our great weakness. Also, what whacky motherfuckers we are:
Midjourney AI and mjr: “a bronze statue to the proud boys.”
I made multiple attempts to get Midjourney to render me a bronze commemorating Mitchell and Webb’s “are we the baddies?” sketch but none of them really captured it for me. Sorry.
Midjourney AI and mjr: “the bronze statue commemorating the exhausted WALMART holiday shopper.”
Midjourney AI and mjr: “the bronze statue commemorating Marilyn Monroe’s backside.”
I notice that Midjourney put that one in the prestigious Marilyn Wing of the Metropolitan Art Museum.
Which reminds me of a joke I saw the other day:
Q: “why are the great pyramids at Gizeh?”
A: “because the British Museum couldn’t move them.”
Midjourney AI and mjr: “a bronze statue commemorating all the rockers that have died of overdoses.”
Shades of The Dying Gaul.
Last two:
Midjourney AI and mjr: “statue to doctor strangelove”
The more I learn about the cold war, the more I realize that Doctor Strangelove was a documentary.
Midjourney AI and mjr: “a bronze statue to the fat, ageing, white confederate re-enactor.”
You probably know this, but maybe not… Dr Strangelove was not originally intended to be a comedy. It was supposed to be a straight thriller. It was only as they did the research into Cold War nuclear doctrine and realised that everybody involved was off their rockers that it inevitably became the film we know and love.
It’s reassuring to see that Midjourney continues with its distinct style of supernumerary digits and cryptic script.
I may be inspired to have a headrest implanted in my shoulder.
As a follow-up to image #3, try “Tucker Carlson, lying weaselly jerk, frozen in carbonite.”
I would love to see this somewhere in Washington.
Well if you can get it cast, just hire a truck with a crane, drive to D.C. and drop it off in a relatively quiet public space. With any luck everyone will assume it is “official” and it might stay there for years.
I’ve gotten interested in casting some bronze since I watched Bobby Fingers trip to west Ireland. (Thanks to sonofrojblake for the link.)
The look of horror on the face of the guy looking at the backside of Alex Jones is a nice touch.
The memorial to dead rock stars bears a strong resemblance to Robert Plant circa 1969.
The proud boys is a well executed Fidel Castro, complete with cigar. It appears to be standing in front of a monumental chunk of bronze sculpture. Is that a monkey on the left side?
Marilyn is behind another bronze of her behind.
Well prompted!! Your AI is getting punny.
The last one looks like Bluto from Popeye.
Delightful.