Well, that certainly was interesting. I started to realize how some people can fetishize purging – it’s a very “control freak” sort of thing and it really makes you/helps you realize that your body is just a weird machine that responds to very simple control signals (e.g.: moisture level in bowels, peristalsis, etc.)
I took the directions for preparation very seriously and basically went without food for 2 and a half days. Further, I discovered that I do not care a whit for “clear foods.” I.e.: Jell-o, while a childhood favorite, is not a meal in and of itself. Nor is broth or coffee without half and half. (purists can sue me, so long as you hire Rudy Giuliani) So I wound up fasting while packing myself with liquids and polymers.
What’s funny is that that didn’t bother me at all – since I started having gout attacks in 2012, I’ve been pretty careful to guggle down a lot of water all the time. So, “drink 2 32oz jugs of gatorade” was not a big deal. The laxatives and the consequences were not so pleasant, but it was all bearable. Since it’s a common procedure, the endoscopy crew at the “wellness center” (I guess there are legal reasons they don’t call it a “hospital”)(probably taxes?) were as well-drilled as a Formula-1 pit crew, though less frenetic. I was in and out in 1 hour 20 minutes, absolutely starving. I couldn’t tell if the gurgling in my tummy was CO2 they had pumped in there to inflate me, or hunger, so when I got home I made some butter noodles with roasted red peppers and garlic, and that fixed that. It was tempting to have a glass or 2 of red wine since I was dehydrated and still trippy from the midozalam, but sense prevailed. I crawled into bed and listening to Pink Floyd at high volume I napped in and out.
I’ll spare you the pictures because – mercifully – they were not very interesting. Apparently my colon is the prettiest part of me, or something. I had one little polyp beginning to form that they took off, but I’ve seen pictures of what the bad polyps look like and this one wasn’t one of those. So I expect that I’ll have to do it again someday if I live that long.
Several of you sent me supportive emails, which was incredibly kind and I am deeply grateful.
Midozalam appears to turn me into a motor-mouth.