Up Against The Wall, Donald

Right now the government is shut down because the Democrats are refusing to fund Trump’s wall, and Trump is refusing to let them push him around.

Amidst the sturm un drang of the news cycle, let me remind everyone that Trump has been in office for 2 years, now, and – in spite of controlling both houses of Congress, did not get his stupid wall funded. He did manage to pass a one-sided tax cut for the rich and for corporations, and even tacked an additional $70 billion onto the pentagon’s already inflated budget.

Just keep your eyes on the bouncing ball. If anyone wants to talk about funding the wall, you can ask “why didn’t he fund the wall when he controlled both houses of Congress? Do you think this has anything to do with his having taken a historical beating during the midterms?”

When I watch the news, it seems to me that some parts of the media are cheerfully hanging on every mistake Trump makes; that’s pointless because there are so many. Their strategy of yelling loudly about the endless little pieces of bullshit that Trump tosses off, obscures the more trenchant, obvious questions that they should be asking. Like:

  • Why didn’t Trump fund his wall when he controlled both houses of Congress?
  • Why does he need to shut down the government now, over something he could have easily done before the midterms?
  • If this is a ‘national emergency’ now, why wasn’t it a ‘national emergency’ two years ago?

When the fairly intelligent people in the media fail to ask such obvious questions, it makes me wonder if they’re serious, or if they’re also just extras in the theatrical display.

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We don’t need thousands of miles of wall. We need about 100 yards, for the firing squad. And those metal slats are a good idea; bullets won’t bounce and the beams will be handy to handcuff the ci-devant to. “Would you like a final cheeseburger, Sir?” At this point, a cheeseburger one way or another won’t affect your health.


  1. fusilier says

    How long would it take to forge a pattern-welded guillotine blade?

    fusilier, who’s thinking that Eastern White Cedar would make a dandy frame

    James 2:24

  2. mastmaker says

    That’s exactly what I was asking. Even THIS shutdown started with the farcical meeting between Trump and Democratic leaders of Congress and Senate WHEN Republicans were going to be controlling both the houses FOR 20 MORE DAYS. WTF? Why didn’t Chuck & Nancy point that out? Make AOC the speaker already, for God’s sake!

  3. polishsalami says

    fusilier #1

    I remember a bunch of UK republicans had an alternative celebration to the William/Catherine royal wedding, which included guillotines with wooden blades. Easily the coolest people in Britain.

  4. lorn says

    Oh, come now. I would enjoy seeing Trump getting ‘the talk’ from a bloviating condescending and insufferable doctor about how red meat and excess calories will harm his health. Particularly if she, it has to be a female doctor to maximize Trump’s discomfort, restarts the speech every time she is interrupted.

    Think of the psychological beat down this would be. Picture the ‘kill me now’ look in his eyes as he in effect begs to die.

    Okay … I really need to get a grip. This would be the very definition of cruel and unusual. I am a monster for suggesting it. What can I say? thirty years of GOP atrocities and propaganda have worn down my resistance to inhumanity. I will now go flog myself with birch branches while standing in an ice-cold stream.

    Damn … I’m all out of birch … and icy streams.

    I will punish myself by consuming cold coffee and poor quality glazed doughnuts.

  5. says

    It would be pretty straightforward using explosive welding.

    But more dramatic would be to clean and lay up the bars then take them outside and build a vertical heater fed with propane and oxygen, bring it up to welding heat, then use a backhoe to pull the heater away and cut the cable holding a Wil E. Coyote-style suspended anvil that would fall on it and set the weld. For a billet I’d use parts of cop cars, Dick Cheney’s artificial heart, and some of the steel beams from the border fence. Perhaps get some donated rebar from Raqqa. Flux it with bronze from the Liberty Bell and the carbon from a bag of burned $100 bills. Once it’s welded, trim it roughly to shape with an oxyacetylene torch while it’s still hot and quench it in a big tank of water from Flint, MI and taxpayer’s tears. No need to sharpen it, just bevel it with a torch.

    The frame would be beautiful ferroconcrete. Build it to last, it’d get years of hard use. The lifting mechanism would be a walking-wheel operated with Rush Limbaugh and Paul Manafort as mass.

    Edit: did I say propane? The furnace should be fueled with nice clean Pennsylvania coal. How did I miss that?

    Edit2: as soon as you move outside to a nice safe gravel-pit, and start thinking about building single-use tools, you’ve got a world of options opening up before you.

  6. says

    I remember a bunch of UK republicans had an alternative celebration to the William/Catherine royal wedding, which included guillotines with wooden blades. Easily the coolest people in Britain.

    I am inclined to support lèse majesté wherever I see it. Because: freeze peach!

  7. says

    Marcus @#6

    I am inclined to support lèse majesté wherever I see it. Because: freeze peach!

    I have lots of reasons for the same:
    – I dislike all authority figures per se.
    – Royal bloodlines shouldn’t exist. I prefer leaders to be chosen based upon their merit not parentage.
    – Royal families with their royal weddings, royal palaces, royal wardrobes, etc. are a huge waste of taxpayer money.
    – Respect (not that I respect any of the world leaders, but still) ought to be earned, not demanded by threatening your citizens with prison sentences, beheadings etc. in case of lèse-majesté.
    – Most rulers are bad people and deserve being mocked (and more).
    – The fact that kings, politicians, and rulers in general don’t want you to mock them is in itself a good reason to mock them.
    – And, yes, free speech is good to have.

  8. says

    Ieva, next can you make the case why not letting us guillotine leaders is “runaway political correctness?”

    PS – that was great. I agree 100%

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