Ask A Sithrak Worshipper: Sept 23, The World Ends


Is Sithrak planning to end the world on Sept 23? [express]

No!

Sithrak is going to fuck everyone up when they die, so it makes no difference whether they die now, or later. It makes no difference whether they die in the flames of Planet X slamming into Earth’s atmosphere, if they choke to death on a chicken bone, or if they die of boredom watching re-runs of Friends in their favorite chair.

How the christians think it will end

Creating an entire extra planet to smack into Earth is way too much effort for Sithrak.

The christian god is a great big megalomaniacal asshole, over the top and full of hate for everybeing that’s not like him. But being full of hate requires caring way too much.

Sithrak is the low-energy god, who’ll get you when you die and not a moment sooner. He doesn’t care. If you are reading this after the 24th, you can rest comfortably knowing the christian god is probably not real, and that Sithrak still hates you anyway.

PS – we couldn’t decide whether to post this just before the day the christians think it will all and, or just after so we could laugh at them. But we try to be like Sithrak; either way, it doesn’t matter.

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I see that other FTBloggers have tried their miserable best to answer this question, already. I decided to delay posting this until the very last minute on the 22nd so that, in your desperate, fearful moments before midnight, you can learn the truth. Or, if I’m wrong and the world ends, you won’t have time to post comments saying I’m wrong.

Comments

  1. says

    Lovely 23rd 3pm here Down Under, mild, sunny and a bit breezy. Do I set the wood fire for tonight? Decisions, decisions.

    Oh and I’ve been to World’s End, quite a nice little place in winter.

  2. komarov says

    Neat, as a Hades-worshipper I came to the same conclusion. End the world? Why bother? Hades gets everyone and is in no rush.
    The only difference is that he doesn’t care about people after their death either. Unless he or some other deity orders some ironic eternal punishment, the dead just get to mill around the plains of the underworld for all eternity. The end result is probably just as bad as being ‘fucked up’ by Sithrak, so that makes Hades an even lower-energy god, I suppose.

    Fortunately there is no point in arguing over the matter. Neither will care which one of them you worship or if you fight wars to spread their faith. I feel some church latin would be appropriate at this point, but sadly do not know how to translate ‘Sod it!’ (As an ‘amen’ substitute perhaps)

  3. jrkrideau says

    # 4 chigau

    I was a bit worried earlier when I got “server not found” for an Australian site but it is back now.

    That gamble yesterday when I got a haircut paid off.

  4. says

    Lofty@#10:
    @ Marcus, yea, I can feel the arthritis in my fingers stirring already.

    Oh, ow. I have that too, and it’s a bugger. Sorry to hear Sithrak’s afflicting you with that; I hope he omits the gout until after you’re dead.

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