“I Don’t Watch Them!”

Jim Cooke/FMG.

Just the other day, Unpresident Trump insisted that he simply does not watch mainstream media anymore, no, not ever. He doesn’t watch anything which is negative. Naturally, that statement is belied by his frequent morphs into Mr. Tweet, ranting about this, that, and the other negative something as seen or read on mainstream media. He’s running away to a ‘campaign rally’ in order to avoid the White House Correspondent’s Dinner, but does anyone think the Tiny Tyrant won’t be obsessing over every remark anyway?

It would seem that the Tiny Tyrant’s staff was unaware of his insistence that he does not watch, no, not ever, not anymore, as they have said that it’s extremely difficult to curb his excessive reliance on television. They also said he ‘hate watches’ in the evening, going over all the negative stuff, which outside of Fox, is pretty much everything everywhere.

“When I see it’s such false reporting and such bad reporting and false reporting that I’ve developed an ability that I never thought I had,” Trump insisted. “I don’t watch things that are unpleasant. I just don’t watch them.”

“I don’t watch CNN anymore. I don’t watch MSNBC anymore. I don’t watch [negative] things, and I never thought I had that ability. I always thought I’d watch.”

Contrary to this statement:

Trump turns on cable news immediately upon arising each morning and spends the day checking in via a television in the White House dining room. However, once the president goes upstairs at the end of the day, aides lose their ability to monitor and moderate the president’s intake.

“Once he goes upstairs, there’s no managing him,” one adviser told the Post.

“Sometimes, at night, he hate-watches cable shows critical of him, while chatting on the phone with friends, said someone familiar with the president’s routine — a quirk a senior official jokingly called ‘multi-teching.’” the Post said.

[…]

Foreign leaders are urging their diplomats to go on U.S. television when they visit the country so as to catch Trump’s attention. Trump has insisted that he wouldn’t dream of firing Press Secretary Sean Spicer — even after his gaffe comparing Hitler favorably to Syrian president Bashar al-Assad.

“I’m not firing Sean Spicer,” said Trump. “That guy gets great ratings. Everyone tunes in.”

There we are again – “great ratings”. That’s all this unstable, stupid asshole cares about. He thinks of himself and everyone around him as being on a television reality show. And if the world is going to hell in a handbasket, eh, who cares? Ratings! Things going bad again? Oh, have Spicer say something stupid about Hitler.

Via Raw Story, one and two.

A Trump Tantrum and Government Shutdown.

Toddler Trump, by Sham.

Despite the Tiny Tyrant’s recent reversal on the importance of the first 100 days, he’s absolutely desperate for a “win” of some kind. For the most part, this involves another attempt at repealing the ACA, or failing that, trying to force congress to hand over forty billion dollars for the Grate Wall of Stupidity™.  More and more Americans are standing fast on not wanting the wall at all, and it’s not a remotely realistic “win” to push for, but Mulvaney is dangling an ACA concession, but only if all the money is handed over for the wall. Things were working, more or less, before Trump had to toss a late night wrench into the works, making everything all about his “wins” and nothing more. He has said “yeah, we want to keep government open”, but his actions don’t match that sentiment in any way. As usual, government in this case doesn’t mean jack shit if it doesn’t translate to “wins and approval” for the monstrous ego of Trump.

Trump’s instability has already caused a great deal of damage and irreparable harm; that harm keeps being extended with every rollback, all in the service of making the Tiny Tyrant feel like a big man. Now, he’s looking to toss anything into the cavernous maw of his always hungry ego, and if government shuts down, well who cares? I have no doubt that Trump would see that only as a bully tactic he could use, as that’s the current tactic, and the only one he possesses.

As the deadline for a spending bill looms, the Trump administration is reportedly throwing a monkey wrench into negotiations. The Trump administration is fighting for border wall funding or a crackdown on sanctuary cities, according to Politico, to give the president a victory during his first 100 days in office.

Desperate for a win, the administration is risking a government shutdown by insisting on funding the border wall. Congress has until April 28 to clear a spending bill — but negotiations between Republican and Democratic leaders in the House and Senate stalled over the last 24 hours after White House officials showed they wouldn’t move on funding the wall, Politico reported on Thursday evening.

A victory! The Tiny Tyrant must have a victory! Once again, language choice reveals a very nasty, unstable mindset. Think Progress has the full story, as does Politico.

The Manly Whine Over Kid’s Lego Playground.

Promotional photo released by Lego showing a Legoland employee helping a child who’s accompanied by an adult (Lego).

A Legoland Discovery Center has opened in Melbourne, Australia, much to delight of children and adults. The playground area, marketed to the 3 to 10 year olds, is not accessible to adults unaccompanied by a child under the age of 16. Some supposedly adult men are appalled by this, yelling discrimination, and violation of human rights. It would be nice to think that acting this childishly is a strategy, but unfortunately, it seems to be a mindset which screams out “I am a spoiled rotten adult male, I have privilege! How dare you keep me out!?”

A handful of adult men are pissed that the Playground area is restricted to children. And one is even threatening to file a human rights complaint.

The Discovery Center opened on Tuesday and adults who aren’t accompanying children (16 or under) have been turned away from the Playground area, which is marketed to kids from 3-10 years of age. Adults without children are still allowed in the shopping area of the attraction.

The Melbourne Legoland location plans to have an “adult night” one night a month, but that’s apparently not enough for some grown-ass men who think they’re being discriminated against. As The Guardian points out, the age restrictions are in place at 17 other Lego Discovery Centers around the world.

“Absolutely appalled by the fact I was unable to enter without somebody under the age of 16,” one man wrote on Facebook. “Lego is not just for children and I’m sure the majority of people would agree with me. I understand it’s a play center but I have no intention on climbing around, simply just to look and admire. Incredibly disappointed, sort yourself out Legoland!!!”

One man even said on Facebook that he was filing a complaint with the local state Equal Opportunity and Human Rights Commission on the basis that the age restriction discriminates against people without kids. It’s unclear if a formal complaint has yet been filed.

Okay, look, I’m a childfree person, but this complaint is utterly idiotic. It’s one small part of the center, which is distinctly for small children. It’s not discrimination against childfree people to keep lone adults out of a playground for small children. I expect it’s a matter of safety concerns, and Lego wanting a place where parents can relax and not worry about their sproglets. You won’t die if you can’t stomp all over a playground for the little ones. Go on one of the adult nights, you can play to heart’s content. Go to every adult night.

“It’s a bit of a bad joke on your shop having age limits,” another man wrote before the Legoland opening. “When you look on a box of Lego it says ages from 4 too 99 or dose [sic] the shop have different rules. What a joke as I’ve loved Lego for 40 something years and my some [sic] loves doing his moc stuff. Think about it as I believe you need to rethink your rules..”

[…]

“Absolutely disgusted to hear that you will discriminate on grounds of age,” another man wrote a couple of weeks ago, as the controversy began before Legoland even opened its doors. “Lego is something that is enjoyed across all the ages – I personally have thousands of dollars worth of the creator and architecture series and it’s clear that many adults without children will want to experience the attractions.”

Oh FFS, grow up already. Kids should have their own space at something like Legoland, and they do. You aren’t being shut out, you can wander all over the place, with one small exception, unless you have sprogs. Is it really that vital to you, to squeeze out small children, so you can squish yourself into a kid sized chair, and sit at a kid sized table?

Jesus Christ, way to be whiny annoyances having a tantrum, men. Perhaps if you manage to act like an adult, you could be allowed to accompany someone who does have children.

Gizmodo has the full story.

Trump & Nugent: A Match Made in Hell.

So today is the 242nd anniversary of The Shot Heard Round The World is it! Well well well looky looky here boogie…

Posted by Ted Nugent on Wednesday, April 19, 2017

“So today is the 242nd anniversary of The Shot Heard Round The World is it! Well well well looky looky here boogie chillin, I got your Shot Heard Round The World right here in big ol greazyass Washington DC where your 1 & only MotorCity Madman WhackMaster StrapAssasin1 dined with President Donald J Trump at the WhiteHouse to Make America Great Again! Got that? Glowing all American over the top WE THE PEOPLE gory details coming ASAP!! BRACE!”

Unholy shit, I wish I didn’t have to type all that stupid out.

Nugent, who once said that “Donald Trump is as close to Ted Nugent as you’re going to get in politics,” shares with the president a long history of violent and bigoted language.

At one concert, Nugent told Barack Obama to “suck on my machine gun,” before making similar threats against Hillary Clinton, Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein. He eventually earned himself a visit from the Secret Service after repeatedly threatening Obama, whom he called a “subhuman mongrel,” and saying that if Obama were to win re-election in 2012, Nugent “will either be dead or in jail by this time next year.” Nugent also called for both Obama and Clinton to be “hung” and posted a video on his Facebook page of Clinton being shot.

The National Rifle Association board member has similarly fantasized about shooting migrants crossing the border, wished that the South had won the Civil War, and posted several anti-Semitic memes warning that gun control is a Jewish plot and mocking Holocaust victims.

Naturally, he scored a meeting with President Trump.

Yeeeuuucck. Funny how ol’ Ted isn’t dead or in jail. Also meeting with the Tiny Tyrant yesterday were Kid Rock and Sarah Palin, termed as three entertainers he wished to thank for standing by him. Via RWW.

Raw Story also has this, with mockery included.

“An armada, very powerful,”

It seems the Keystone Regime has finally gotten its Keystone ‘armada’ headed in the oh-so-wrong direction. I just know someone had mentioned the word ‘armada’, and had to explain to the Tiny Tyrant what that meant, because Mr. Yella Fella’s vocabulary is on the bigly sad side.

BEIJING — It was supposed to be steaming toward North Korea more than a week ago, an “armada” signaling American resolve. Then it wasn’t.

Now, it seems the USS Carl Vinson may finally be heading north.

“Our deployment has been extended 30 days to provide a persistent presence in the waters off the Korean Peninsula,” Rear Adm. Jim Kilby, commander of Carrier Strike Group One, said in a message posted on the Carl Vinson’s Facebook page and addressed to “families and loved ones” of the personnel on board.

The Carl Vinson, accompanied by a carrier air wing, two guided-missile destroyers and a cruiser, was reported to have been ordered to sail north after leaving Singapore on April 8. But a week later, the Navy published photos showing it was actually sailing in the opposite direction through the Sunda Strait between the Indonesian islands of Sumatra and Java, more than 3,000 miles southwest of the Korean Peninsula — and more than 500 miles southeast of Singapore.

It appears the confusion over its whereabouts stemmed from a U.S. Pacific Command announcement that “could have been worded a little more clearly,” in the words of a defense official speaking on the condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak on the record.

[…]

Days later, Defense Secretary Jim Mattis told reporters that the Carl Vinson was “on her way up there.” In an interview that aired April 12, President Trump said the United States was sending ships. “An armada, very powerful,” he said.

They were not exactly wrong, Navy officials now say. It’s just that the change of course toward the Korean Peninsula had not happened yet.

“Not exactly wrong”, a corollary to “alternative facts”. I had been relieved over the fuck up, thinking “oh, never been so grateful for incompetence!” Unfortunately, it seem the Tiny Tyrant is hellbent on poking where he should not, playing the “my missile is bigger than yours” game, with nukes. Trump is so unstable when it comes to weapon use that he makes Kim Jong Un look like the most stable of individuals. Trump desperately wants to play war, and he doesn’t care if his toys are nuclear in nature. He needs to be removed from office, stat, before we are all crispy crittered, or becoming nuclear winter mutants before death. As came up on the previous post about nuclear war, this is the only true story (h/t to Chigau) about nukes flying. There won’t be hero survivors, nuclear war will not result in a nifty “hey, we can do it over and get it right this time!”. There will just be death.

The Washington Post has the full story.

In the meantime, South Korean news is busy mocking Trump’s stupidity and ignorance. Vijay Prashad has a good column up about the terroristic history of the U.S. on North Korea.

Oh Great, Another Slogan: Buy American, Hire American.

Noel McKay, left, a program manager and Karen Latina, right, a biotech consultant, hold up signs during a Tech Stands Up rally on Pi Day, Tuesday, March 14, 2017, outside City Hall in Palo Alto, Calif. Subcontracted tech service workers and direct tech employees rallied together to call on their companies and CEOs to stand with their workers against injustice and hate. CREDIT: AP Photo/Eric Risberg.

As a conservative columnist recently pointed out, the Tiny Tyrant is acting the full lame duck by concentrating on Executive Orders very early on. This is usually not seen until much later, usually when congress is busy blocking a president. The Tiny Tyrant has also turned to “foreign policy” in attempt to overshadow investigations and come across as doing something. The latest EO was announced in Wisconsin, at the expense of the Paris Climate Accord meeting. Now we have “Buy American, Hire American”, which, as Jake Tapper pointed out, is the height of hypocrisy when it comes to Trump’s own business dealings, which depend greatly on immigrant workers and the H-1B visa program. Of course, I’m sure he’ll declare all his little cash cows to be exempt. Contrary to the Tiny Tyrant’s constant vow of jobs and greatness and all that other crap, every move he has made so far is damn near custom-tailored to crash the economy, and this move will accelerate that considerably, if congress can be swayed to enforce it. Whether or not that will happen remains to be seen.

The “Buy American, Hire American” executive order emphasizes enforcement of “Buy American laws” that will encourage government agencies and Americans to buy and hire American. The main thrust of the order calls on cabinet secretaries to implement administrative changes and produce reports that identify potential abuses of the H-1B visa program, which awarded 85,000 work visas this year to foreign knowledge workers through a lottery system, and look for ways the government can only award contracts to American business owners.

Regarding immigration, the order doesn’t address the administration’s main criticisms of the H-1B program, such as exploitatively low pay and replacing the lottery system to guarantee recipients are the best candidates for the positions. It also carries little weight on its own.

“It doesn’t do anything,” said William Stock, president of the American Immigration Lawyers Association (AILA) in Philadelphia. That’s because the changes Trump campaigned on need to be approved by Congress.

[…]

The policy proposal sent a chill through the tech industry, which heavily depends on H-1B workers to fill out full-time and contract positions. That tension intensified earlier this year, after Trump signed his first executive order restricting entry of immigrants from or traveling from several Muslim-majority countries and companies such as Google required resident employees abroad to immediately return to the U.S.

The White House’s tenuous relationship with Silicon Valley was strained further as Trump’s policies homed in on issues central to the tech industry’s ethos and economic health. And with cracking down on H-1B visas in his sights, there’s concern Trump could hurt the economy he’s trying to help.

 […]

Besides a potential congressional hurdle, there could still be economic consequences to Trump’s desired changes, especially when it comes to funding existing programs and trade.

For example, further restricting H-1B visas could actually result in taking jobs away from American workers by encouraging companies to relocate, Stock said. That would create more jobs in places like Ireland, India (which is currently the biggest recipient of H-1B visas), China, and countries in South America, where there are growing IT workforces.

“If the workers can’t come here, then companies are going to have to go where the workforce is,” Stock said. “The unintended consequences are going to outweigh what he was trying to achieve.”

[…]

Restricting H-1B visas or prioritizing American businesses also doesn’t replace jobs lost due to the collapse of manufacturing or mining industries.

Dan Ikenson, the director for trade policy at the Cato Institute a libertarian think tank in Washington, D.C., said the order looks tough, especially when it comes to government contract spending. But he worried that Trump’s emphasis on only awarding government contracts to American companies could mean that taxpayers lose out. From a free market perspective, Ikenson said, there should be as many foreign companies as possible bidding for government contracts.

“You need the competition,” Ikenson said, arguing that only contracting with American businesses could result in overspending. “We shouldn’t just assume that it’s good for America if Americans transact with other Americans.”

That economic stance is why Trump’s immigration policies have garnered criticism from economists across the political spectrum.

“We need smart foreign workers to come here and share their ideas,” Ikenson said. “Immigrants are 50 percent more likely than Americans to start new businesses.”

Think Progress has the full story.

That Bill Clinton Sure Messed Up With Kim-Jong Un!

CREDIT: Fox News screengrab.

The King of Idiots has been talking again, and, as usual, the stupid is simply too much to bear. Do his people not know he’s fucking stupid and willfully ignorant? Why do they not have someone adding a strip of masking tape to his tie with correct names on it? Something, some sort of cheat sheet, so that at least thinking Americans do not have to cringe with body contorting embarrassment every time this doofus opens his mouth. As usual, the Tiny Tyrant just had to find a way to disrespect former presidents, as disrespect is all he seems to be good at, as an unpresident and person. What will the Spicer Shit Spin on this one be, “oh, oh, well, those names are hard to tell apart!”?

After referencing Pence’s trip, Earhardt asked Trump whether he has ruled out a military strike against North Korea.

Trump responded by saying he doesn’t “want to telegraph” what he’s “doing or thinking,” but went on to suggest the time for talk is over.

“They’ve been talking with this gentleman for a long time,” Trump said, apparently referencing former American presidents’ negotiations with North Korea. “You read Clinton’s book, he said, ‘Oh, we made such a great peace deal,’ and it was a joke.”

[…]

But the “gentleman” Trump referred to, Kim Jong-un, has only been in power since the 2011 death of his father, Kim Jong-il, so he certainly never negotiated with President Clinton. In fact, the October 1994 Clinton “peace deal” that Trump referred to in this interview was largely negotiated before the death of Kim Il-sung, Kim Jung-un’s grandfather, in July of that year.

Trump’s ahistorical comments about North Korea’s leadership were reminiscent of his now-infamous remarks about abolitionist leader Frederick Douglass during an event commemorating the start of Black History Month on February 1st.

“Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job that is being recognized more and more, I notice.” Douglass died in 1895.

The president’s apparent confusion about who’s in charge of North Korea also comes just days after he erroneously described missile strikes he approved against the Assad regime in Syria as “heading to Iraq.”

Think Progress has the full story, and a video, if you can stomach it.

China, Russia Chasing U.S. Carrier.

USS Carl Vinson. (Jo Jung-ho/Yonhap via AP, File).

China and Russia aren’t too happy with the Tiny Tyrant’s tough toddler obsession with nuclear weapons, nor his increasing instability without a first thought, let alone a second. They have dispatched intelligence gathering ships to dog the U.S. Carrier. I’m grateful for their intervention, such as it is at this time. I have not been this scared of nuclear war since I was a child. As nuclear tensions de-escalated through much of my lifetime, I had hoped to make it through the rest of life without having to worry about being crispy crittered or dying a slow death in nuclear winter. Now we have a maniac in the white house who is nursing a 30 year obsession with nuclear weapons with an itchy trigger finger.

China and Russia have dispatched intelligence-gathering vessels from their navies to chase the USS Carl Vinson nuclear-powered aircraft carrier, which is heading toward waters near the Korean Peninsula, multiple sources of the Japanese government revealed to The Yomiuri Shimbun.

It appears that both countries aim to probe the movements of the United States, which is showing a stance of not excluding military action against North Korea. The Self-Defense Forces are strengthening warning and surveillance activities in the waters and airspace around the area, according to the sources.

The aircraft carrier strike group, composed of the Carl Vinson at its core with guided-missile destroyers and other vessels, is understood to be around the East China Sea and heading north toward waters near the Korean Peninsula.

China and Russia, which prioritize stability in the Korean Peninsula, showed concern over the tough U.S. stance, with Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov saying the issue should be resolved peacefully through political and diplomatic efforts.

The dispatch of the intelligence-gathering vessels appears to be partly aimed at sending a warning signal to the United States.

Full story here.

I Won the Electoral College! Shut Up!

Twitter.

Here it is, Ēostre Sunday, and what’s an Unpresident to do? Why turn into Mr. Tweet of course, and take umbrage over the marches to reveal his taxes. The Tiny Tyrant returns, once again, to the electoral college, and in unintended irony, tweets about his “victory” on his personal account, continuing to eschew the Potus account.

I did what was an almost an impossible thing to do for a Republican-easily won the Electoral College! Now Tax Returns are brought up again?

Yes, taxes are brought up again, you ninny. No one cares about the electoral college, an outdated institution originally formed to protect slaveholders. Perhaps if you actually understood its origins, you’d stop hanging on to it like a pacifier.

Via Raw Story.

“I Wanna Ride in the Gold Carriage, Waaaah!”

The Mexican president rode in the state carriage in 2015 but President Obama chose to spare his hosts the security nightmare. Mr Trump faces a more severe threat in October. TOBY MELVILLE/AFP/Getty Images.

The Tiny Toddler Tyrant is having a tantrum over riding in the Queen’s gold carriage when he visits London. Needless to say, it’s a security nightmare in the best of times, and these are not the best of times. President Obama waived this bit of pomp in order to spare everyone said security nightmare, but Tiny Toddler Trump? Oh no, he wants his carriage ride. A gold carriage? Why, that just has “Trump” written all over it, right?

Donald Trump waving from the Queen’s royal carriage is not a scenario many would have foreseen a year ago, but it has become a very real prospect, forcing security services to plan an unprecedented lockdown.

The White House has made clear it regards the carriage procession down the Mall as an essential element of the itinerary for the visit currently planned for the second week of October, according to officials.

Security sources have warned, however, that the procession will require a “monster” security operation, far greater than for any recent state visit.

Essential? No, it’s not essential. President Obama showed that it was no such thing, and had a wonderful visit. This is a capsule portrait of the monstrous toddler currently loose in the white house. He wants what he wants when he wants it, there’s zero possibility of acting like a godsdamn adult. Yet another 70something white man who thinks the world is his little plaything on a gold platter. Naturally, there isn’t one single thing on this planet which is more important, and essential than Tiny Trump getting his gold carriage ride.

British security services are balking, saying the president’s wish is presenting them with “monster” problems is helping to keep the U.S. president safe.

London Metropolitan Police have already been making plans for Trump’s visit, expecting tens of thousands of protesters to descend on the procession route. Their preference is for Trump to make use of a bullet and bomb-proof car that was previously used by former President Barack Obama.

“The vehicle which carries the president of the United States is a spectacular vehicle. It is designed to withstand a massive attack like a low-level rocket grenade,” a police source explained. “If he’s in that vehicle he is incredibly well protected and on top of that it can travel at enormous speed. If he is in a golden coach being dragged up the Mall by a couple of horses, the risk factor is dramatically increased.”

Perhaps they should consider spraying the merely spectacular vehicle with gold paint, and having horses trot along in front.

Via The Times of London and Raw Story.

America The Ugly. Ugly, Ugly, Ugly.

Credit: Screenshot, Fox News.

In a disgusting, repellent display, even for those purveyors of disgusting, Fox News thought it would be appropriate to show the Moab bombing of Afghanistan, overlaid with treacly jingoism in the form of country music. As much as I love words, I don’t have enough for this perversion, my gorge is rising. I’ll include one of the videos here, if you can cope with it. I suggest not playing, I did, and it made me want to vomit.

That didn’t stop Fox News, however. President Trump’s favorite television program — Fox and Friends — celebrated the bombing, with a soundtrack to boot.

“The video is black and white. But that is what freedom looks like, that’s the red white and blue,” host Ainsley Earhardt said after the program showed the video of the bomb dropping in Afghanistan.

“One of my favorite things in 16 years at Fox News is watching bombs drop on bad guys,” Geraldo Rivera says.

Oh. In that case, I look forward to someone dropping a bomb on Fox News.

The video was shown overlaid with country star Toby Keith singing the chorus of “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue,” which celebrates the military with jingoistic fervor:

“Hey Uncle Sam, put your name at the top of his list
And the Statue of Liberty started shakin’ her fist
And the eagle will fly man, it’s gonna be hell
When you hear mother freedom start ringin’ her bell
And it feels like the whole wide world is raining down on you
Brought to you courtesy of the red white and blue.”

Later in the program, Fox and Friends showed the video again, again overlaying it with uber-patriotic country music.

“We’ll play a little music, demonstrate the moment of impact there in Afghanistan on the MOAB in Nangarhar province,” host Pete Hegseth says, as the video plays under Kid Rock singing “born free.”

[…]

Fox News, which was the most-watched cable network of 2016 and is a primary source of news for millions of Americans (including, it seems, the President), isn’t overly concerned about those deaths, however.

“I think it is very, very important we kill bad guys but there is no denying that the issue of friendly fire is really egregious,” Rivera said, only to be immediately rebutted by host Pete Hegseth.

“Why go there first, Geraldo?” said Hegseth. “Civilian casualties happen. We’re going against an enemy that cuts off our heads.”

Oh right, seems yours hasn’t been cut off, has it, you fucking moron? Have there been waves of the Mother Of All Swords landing here in the good ol’ U.S. of Amerikka, resulting in thousands of heads rolling? I haven’t noticed anything like that at all. Not that I’d be entirely against certain heads rolling, and I’m looking at Fox News. I’d most likely favour a guillotine though. More efficient. Goddamn disgusting asshole apes, chattering away, ever so excited over dead people. Celebrating. Yeah, why ever go there, ’cause you know, people die, who gives a shit, lookit that bomb go! Of course, when other people fight back against that sort of thing, they are the bad ones. And, they are the bad ones when they become radicalized because bombs keep being dropped on them, killing people. Those people that don’t matter, because hot damn, lookit at that thing go! Fucking barbaric animals.

:Spits:

Think Progress has the story.

Easter Egg Events Are So Complicated! Who Knew?!

An actual president and first lady perform at the Easter Egg Roll. I know. CREDIT: White House/Pete Souza.

Oh, who knew a longstanding white house tradition could be so complicated? It’s just so gosh darn bigly yugely complex and stuff, well, no one said anything about that. It comes as a compleat lack of surprise that the Keystone Regime can’t manage a lightweight easter entertainment. Oh my.

The only thing more ridiculous than the White House Easter Egg Roll is the inability to plan a White House Easter Egg Roll. But as with health care, nobody in the Trump administration knew it could be so complicated to plan this festive spring event that has been going off relatively hitch-free since the Hayes administration. For someone who promised to never allow the blasphemous tidings “happy holidays” to emerge from our irreligious lips again, President Trump is remarkably lax about this Christian-lite rite.

First Lady Melania Trump has yet to fully staff the East Wing. She has no director for the Visitors’ Office, and trying to plan an Easter Egg Roll without one is like trying to pass sweeping bans on immigration without a director of U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services — oh, wait, never mind.

As the New York Times reports, everything about this year’s gathering, scheduled for Monday, appears to be about half the size of President Obama’s 2016 event: The number of guests expected to attend (20,000, down from 37,000 in 2016); the number of volunteers staffing it (just 500); even the number of commemorative eggs (40,000, down from 2016’s 85,000).

Maybe there could have been more eggs if Trump hadn’t waited until the last minute to put in the order. The Trumps apparently ignored a tweet from the company Wells Wood Turning & Finishing, which supplies the commemorative wooden eggs used at our nation’s official Easter Egg Roll. “FYI manufacturing deadlines for the Easter egg roll are near. Please reach out!” The call went unanswered until early March, when the eggs had to be rush ordered.

Oh, that’s how to get Mr. Tweet to ignore a tweet. Wells Wood should have mentioned ratings.

In an echo of Trump’s inauguration, celebrities who have performed at this event in the past — Ariana Grande, Idina Menzel, and the like — are opting out; instead, musical entertainment will be provided by military bands. And many of the groups that typically get blocks of tickets, including military families and public schools in Washington and its sprawl, haven’t yet heard anything from the Trump administration.

Usually, PBS sends along a whole fleet from Sesame Street. This year, only one character will be there, and I’m sure it won’t be awkward at all, what with Trump recently proposing that funding for PBS be eliminated entirely from the federal budget.

You can be sure though, that the Tiny Tyrant will find time to twitbrag about how bigly and yuuge and star-studded the event was though, in spite of all evidence pointing to the contrary.

The Times also notes that, while the Easter Egg Roll is “typically a heavily and enthusiastically promoted affair,” no one from the White House responded to “several weeks’ worth of inquiries,” nor did they deign to “provide basic information such as how many people are expected to attend.”

Awww, look, the Tiny Tyrant is dissing the Easter Bunny and Jesus! Oh no.

Think Progress has the full farce coverage.