Easter Egg Events Are So Complicated! Who Knew?!

An actual president and first lady perform at the Easter Egg Roll. I know. CREDIT: White House/Pete Souza.

Oh, who knew a longstanding white house tradition could be so complicated? It’s just so gosh darn bigly yugely complex and stuff, well, no one said anything about that. It comes as a compleat lack of surprise that the Keystone Regime can’t manage a lightweight easter entertainment. Oh my.

The only thing more ridiculous than the White House Easter Egg Roll is the inability to plan a White House Easter Egg Roll. But as with health care, nobody in the Trump administration knew it could be so complicated to plan this festive spring event that has been going off relatively hitch-free since the Hayes administration. For someone who promised to never allow the blasphemous tidings “happy holidays” to emerge from our irreligious lips again, President Trump is remarkably lax about this Christian-lite rite.

First Lady Melania Trump has yet to fully staff the East Wing. She has no director for the Visitors’ Office, and trying to plan an Easter Egg Roll without one is like trying to pass sweeping bans on immigration without a director of U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services — oh, wait, never mind.

As the New York Times reports, everything about this year’s gathering, scheduled for Monday, appears to be about half the size of President Obama’s 2016 event: The number of guests expected to attend (20,000, down from 37,000 in 2016); the number of volunteers staffing it (just 500); even the number of commemorative eggs (40,000, down from 2016’s 85,000).

Maybe there could have been more eggs if Trump hadn’t waited until the last minute to put in the order. The Trumps apparently ignored a tweet from the company Wells Wood Turning & Finishing, which supplies the commemorative wooden eggs used at our nation’s official Easter Egg Roll. “FYI manufacturing deadlines for the Easter egg roll are near. Please reach out!” The call went unanswered until early March, when the eggs had to be rush ordered.

Oh, that’s how to get Mr. Tweet to ignore a tweet. Wells Wood should have mentioned ratings.

In an echo of Trump’s inauguration, celebrities who have performed at this event in the past — Ariana Grande, Idina Menzel, and the like — are opting out; instead, musical entertainment will be provided by military bands. And many of the groups that typically get blocks of tickets, including military families and public schools in Washington and its sprawl, haven’t yet heard anything from the Trump administration.

Usually, PBS sends along a whole fleet from Sesame Street. This year, only one character will be there, and I’m sure it won’t be awkward at all, what with Trump recently proposing that funding for PBS be eliminated entirely from the federal budget.

You can be sure though, that the Tiny Tyrant will find time to twitbrag about how bigly and yuuge and star-studded the event was though, in spite of all evidence pointing to the contrary.

The Times also notes that, while the Easter Egg Roll is “typically a heavily and enthusiastically promoted affair,” no one from the White House responded to “several weeks’ worth of inquiries,” nor did they deign to “provide basic information such as how many people are expected to attend.”

Awww, look, the Tiny Tyrant is dissing the Easter Bunny and Jesus! Oh no.

Think Progress has the full farce coverage.


  1. blf says

    Presumably the chocolate bunnies who lay the chocolate eggs are fake news.

    And, of course, chocolate is an immigrant, not grown anywhere in the ÜStatesAll.† Clearly must be bombed, with any surviving / imported(immigrating) beans subject to extreme vetting, which is gonna be a problem, as the origins are in Mexico.

    On the other hand, child slaves are used in some cocoa bean cultivation, so I suspect hair furror and his dalekocracy approves, and has specified the chocolate must be produced by slaves, as long as the slaves don’t turn into refugees or other nasty immigrants.

      † Actually, there is some cocoa beans grown in South Florida and Hawai’i, albeit the only commercial production is apparently in Hawai’i. Support your Hawaiian chocolate egg laying chocolate bunny industry! (Child slaves not included.)

  2. Ice Swimmer says

    The Mismanager operates hotels and resorts and then can’t have an event like this competently organized.

  3. says

    I am surprised that Trump didn’t take advantage of this as an opportunity to humiliate his people.

    If I were Trump I’d have invited Rudi Giuliani to come -- and then made him wear a rabbit costume. And Steve Bannon could be an egg, and Jared Kushner could paint him. Laughs all around!

    I’m surprised Ivanka’s not issuing a line of made in China Faberge’ egg knock-offs; all these white house events are monetizable!

  4. chigau (違う) says

    This event is already planned. It’s been following the same script for years.
    The White House had to work very hard to fuck it up.

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