I mentioned this list of stupid by Michael Snyder the other day, and it does leave people with an itch to respond thoroughly, so, the big list of stupid. Feel free to expand or leave your own answers or peeves about any or all of it. As noted previously, the list is obviously, desperately padded, because Michael really couldn’t think of much more than 5 things, but “A list of 5 things liberals hate about America” isn’t terribly catchy. A good portion of this is going below the fold, because this is going to get long. Very long.
1. The U.S. Constitution
I don’t hate the constitution. I don’t worship the damn thing, either. I do think it is superannuated, and in dire need of rewriting. A good deal of it was written with the interests of the ruling classes and slave owners in mind, and that shit needs to go. The nonsense about militias needs to go, as well, as it was to protect slave owners.
Uh … I’m fine with liberty. No problem at all.
Yeah, you know, don’t you, that liberty and freedom mean the same thing? Maybe I was wrong about that ‘five things’ business.
No problem here, I court the fickle lady of success. I don’t want success at any cost, however, and my personal principles and ethics keep me on track. Sometimes, that’s a shame, because in so many cases, it would be so eeeeaaasy to take advantage of gullible right wingers.
5. Big Trucks
What are we talking here? Semis? They’re needed for transport, and while I wish there were better methods of transport, eh, not something I get all frothy about. Now, if we’re talking monster trucks and SUVs, yeah, I have a problem with them, as in most of them are not fucking needed by the jackasses driving them, they pollute and increase dependence on fossil fuels. Smart cars and bicycles for everyone!
I don’t like capitalism gone amok, like it has here in uStates. Most everything is more important than money. Don’t get me wrong, I like money, I keep chasing it, trying to convince I would give it a very good home. That said, the pursuit of money to the exclusion of all else is a formula for a rotting society, and that’s what we are seeing right now.
7. Free Markets
Oh, aarrggh, blecch. People who parrot ‘free market’ generally don’t have the slightest fucking idea of what they are talking about, witness all the witless libertarians tossing this about as if they were erudite. Tell you what, Michael, when you can prove, to my satisfaction, that you understand what free market means in the wider context of economics, we can talk.
8. Wealthy People
Okay, you almost have something here. I don’t hate any of them, but I’ll cop to despising and loathing. Filthy rich people tend to be plain filthy, in respect to ethics or principles. They freely indulge in their hatred of the masses, and they will fuck any and all over in the name of another thin dime to add to their pockets. Yes, there is the occasional filthy rich person who manages to hang onto things like sense and empathy, but they are a rare breed. Filthy rich people tend to all come to one end: their money leads them to an addiction to power.
9. Economic Prosperity
Oh, FFS, how many of these are we going to have? I’m pretty sure most people, including myself, enjoy economic prosperity. That said, you don’t get that when you’re busy funneling all available monies into the pockets of filthy rich people and corporations.
10. The Rule of Law
Oh, do I sense a lover of technicality here? Laws are fine. Well, most of them. Many of them are in dire need of revisiting and rewriting. Laws might be important, but justice is more important, every time.
11. Traditional Values
Oooh, score one for you, Michael. I have no use for “traditional values”, because there is no such thing when it comes to uStates. This is just a phrase used here to enable your bigotry and hatred. All manner of peoples have traditional values, and they vary from one people to the next. That sort of thing is fine for the most part, like traditional arts, but that’s not what you mean. What it means when you say it is “let’s go straight back to the 1950s, and never ever budge. White people are bestest, there are no genders outside binary, only heterosexuality, abstinence until marriage, all non-white people to the back of the bus, and no commies!” Of course, that 1950s never fucking existed, but you love to pretend it did. Fuck you and fuck your “traditional values”. You wouldn’t know a value if it ripped your face off.
12. The American Flag
I don’t have a whole lot of use for flags in general. They are nice to look at, and sometimes I really do like them. I don’t hate the American Flag, but I don’t profess to love it, either. It’s a fucking flag, nothing more. A symbol. I have no use for in rethuglican christian terms, where it’s an object of veneration, a paean to jingoism and hypocrisy.
13. The Founding Fathers
Yeah, they’re dead. *shrug* The ‘founding fathers’ were genocidal thieves, and no, I have no illusions about them, nor any respect. They were slave owners and the wealthy class, who felt they were owed, and of course, it was only right those rich white fellas ruled. Why, in rethug christian eyes, is it a crime to see things for how they actually were, rather than being all misty-eyed over a myth?
Chalk up another score, Michael! Yes, I loathe guns. I know some people like them, but that’s no excuse for having a whole society based on having guns, guns, guns! Every single day, there’s one or more stories about more people dying by a gun. No matter how hard you try to spin it, there aren’t people being saved by people with guns, you just have people dying. Gun fondlers are the worst of the worst, with their undying fantasies of playing hero. It’s past godsdamn time that this lost country grew the fuck up, in spite of all the tantrum toddlers residing here.
15. Limited Government
Oh gods. Back the libertarian bullshit, I see. Right. This is just buzzwords for whatever bullshit you’re trying to sell. You don’t want limited government, you simply don’t want one at all.
16. Religious Freedom
Ohhh, the big bugbear! You have religious freedom, you fucking doucheweasel. Y’know how you types constantly whine about this, that, and the other being shoved down your throat? That’s how I feel about you. You’re free to worship your imaginary psychopath, but please, keep him in your pocket, I don’t want anything to do with it. Religious freedom does not mean “christianity must rule!”, even though that’s how you interpret it.
I think homeschooling, when it’s done right, is great. I do take issue with religious nutbags homeschooling, because they are denying their children an education.
18. Private Schools
Eh, who the fuck cares? If you want to pay a premium to hand your kid over to sadistic assholes, have at it. (Yeah, I was stuck in a Catholic private school for 8 years.) That said, private schools should not be forced on anyone, and the voucher system is a fucking joke.
19. Christian Schools
Um, wasn’t this just covered by #18? Christian schools are a travesty, because they don’t educate. They inculcate.
Doesn’t this one go back to success and wealthy people? Already covered.
21. Ronald Reagan
*Snort* I lived through the Reagan years. There was nothing to love there, a bloodthirsty war-mongerer who pandered to the rich, and hated most everyone else.
22. Donald Trump
Oh gods. I’m going in to town today, I do not have the time here. Yes, I loathe the fucking asshole.
23. Mike Pence
Oh gods. I’m going in to town today, I do not have the time here. Yes, I loathe the fucking asshole.
24. Country Music
You seem to have a real problem with the whole country music thing. I don’t care if you like it, but it’s not my cuppa tea. You probably don’t like darkwave. Who gives a fuck?
25. Rush Limbaugh
Can you spell hypocrite? Yeah, I have no use for him whatsoever. That said, there’s no hate, I can honestly say he never crosses my mind unless someone brings him up. Isn’t he irrelevant these days?
26. The Tea Party
Oh gods. I’m going in to town today, I do not have the time here. Yes, I loathe the fucking assholes. The tea business is long over. Things have moved on. Get to the current century one of these days.
27. Lower Taxes
Oh forchrissakes. Who wouldn’t love lower taxes. Here’s the thing though, in uStates, only the wealthy get that one. That said, I’m fine with paying a higher rate of tax in the interests of having a healthy, thriving population, with solid safety nets in place for all people. I’d prefer to pay a higher tax to ensure that all people have enough to eat every day, have a roof over their head, healthcare, and a good education.
28. Old-Fashioned Light Bulbs
What do you have against really really really old fashioned light bulbs? Why do you hate gas lamps? Huh? Jesus Fuck, this is beyond stupid.
Jesus is a myth. No, I don’t care that there might have been an itinerant preacher wandering around way back then that might have been a model of sorts. I don’t care if you take Jesus to bed every night, just keep me out of it.
30. The Bible
Unlike most christians, I’ve actually read the bible. More than one version, more than one language. It’s a bad pastiche of made up crap, a handbook on how to be a proper psychopath. Full of genocide, murder, theft, and rape. Yeah, I have no use for it.
31. The Christian Faith
I don’t have much use for it, and I really don’t like a lot people who profess said faith. If you people ever manage to unify all the splintery bits of christianity, and come to one agreed upon faith, let me know, then we can take this up again.
32. The Drudge Report
Y’know, I’m barely aware of this at all, so no hate.
33. John Wayne
*Laughs* What are we talking here? The John Wayne of movies, or the man himself? I met him, when I was part of the catering staff at a party he was throwing. He was a fucking asshole.
34. Alex Jones
I can’t claim to hate him, but I do sincerely wish he’d shut the fuck up. At this point, he’s made himself look so absurd, I have a hard time believing anyone can take him seriously.
I don’t hate nascar, but I’m not part of the cult, either.
Wait … what? I, um, okay, completely lost here. Tupperware is great, but I haven’t seen the stuff since I was young. What with much cheaper stuff available, without the whole tupperware party business, it’s easier to go with the cheaper stuff.
37. Big Cheeseburgers
I have nothing against a cheeseburger. I might even eat one once a year or so.
I hate the football worship in this country. It’s a fucking game, it should not be that important, nor should it be sucking all the money out of education.
39. Clint Eastwood
Uh … no. I think he’s a fool, but I don’t hate him. He’s yet another old white man, with his brain stuck in another century.
4o. The Army
41. The Navy
42. The Marines
43. The Air Force
… No, I don’t hate any of them. I don’t like the military system in uStates, it sucks up waaaaay too much money, to say the least. A healthy society should not be military based.
44. Ron Paul
45. Rand Paul
… I don’t hate them. I do wish they’d shut the fuck up.
If I hated marriage, I wouldn’t be married myself. I’m fine with marriage, and I’m so fine with it, I think everyone should be able to marry! Yes, I know that’s not what you meant.
Eh, family. Some families are good, some families are toxic. Not something easily generalized.
Well, I have no use for the squalling sproglets, but I don’t hate them.
I don’t like Wal-Mart. So, you know what I do? I don’t shop there.
50. Flag Pins
I love little enamel pins! I don’t much care for the flag pins as worn, because they are an advertisement of bloated hypocrisy and hateful jingoism.
Erm…no? What steakhouse are you talking about here? Some are better than others.
52. Chuck Norris
I can’t say I have much use for a person who said I deserved a bullet to the head for being an atheist. I don’t hate him though, I’ve never had the opportunity to get to know him.
53. Bottled Water
Uh…wtf? Bottled water is fine, but it is not a substitute for clean, running household water. The less dependence on bottle water, the better, because plastic.
54. George Washington
Jesus Fuck. Didn’t this get covered under founding fathers?
55. The 1st Amendment
56. The 2nd Amendment
57. The 10th Amendment
… Covered under the constitution, you fucking idiot.
58. The Pledge of Allegiance
I have no use for it. A jingoistic bit of shite.
I have no use for them. Another dishonest corporation with a shit product. Do I care if you like them? No.
Another wtf. I don’t care about most soft drinks, I don’t usually drink them. I have had the occasional coke though, so that would be a no.
61. Fried Food
Uh, no? I don’t eat a lot of fried food, but I indulge now and then.
62. Muscle Cars
I have a 1971 El Camino. And I have had many a muscle car in my life. I love them, but I’ve cut down, because it’s the right thing to do.
63. Charlie Daniels
He’s a ditz of a creationist, but hardly relevant in any way, so no, no hate.
64. Dolly Parton
Uh, fine singer, was great in 9 to 5, so that would be a no hate I guess.
65. Duck Dynasty
I find that idiocy to be more laughable than anything else. That said, I’ve never seen the show.
66. Johnny Cash
Nope. I like Johnny Cash.
67. Sarah Palin
She’s a compleat twit. No, I don’t hate her, but I do dislike her attempts to get back into the spotlight.
I’ve never had one (don’t shoot me!), but if I had the opportunity to have a for realz one, I’d take it.
69. Sean Hannity
Yes, I despise him. A toxic gasbag.
Uh, another wtf here. I don’t care about them one way or another.
Not sure why I’m supposed to specifically hate caddies. I don’t.
72. Barbie Dolls
Yes, I hate Barbie Dolls. They promote toxic sexuality and stereotypes and add to the general pool of misogyny.
73. Ted Cruz
Cruz gives me the “eeeeuuuuws” all over. He’s slimy and smarmy and stupid, and no, I don’t like him.
74. Fiscal Sanity
You define this first, then I’ll get back to you. Pretty sure I hate your idea of it.
75. Charlton Heston
*Snort* Another old white dude with an atrophied brain. He’s a laughingstock.
77. Benjamin Netanyahu
… I don’t hate either. That said, no religious sentiment is an excuse for attempted genocide and theft of land.
Er, uh, fuck no, what is wrong with you? Mining is over, that does not mean I hate people who work in them.
Oh FFS. No. I do support sustainable wood. I do not support clear cutting, which is fucking evil.
80. The Coal Industry
Sigh. This is getting fucking old. Coal, also over. Drag yourself into the current century, please.
81. National Sovereignty
What in the fuck do you mean by this one? I don’t think you know what you mean. More jingoistic crap, I suppose. Or do you mean that ‘America First’ bullshit? Yes, I hate the ‘America First’ bullshit. Because it’s fucking bullshit.
82. National Borders
We have borders. They’ve been working just fine all this time.
83. Uncle Sam
There is no Uncle Sam, it’s just propaganda. No, I’m not a fan of jingoistic propaganda. It’s for stupid people.
84. The Washington Redskins
You’re conflating an athletic team with the name, which is wrong, offensive, and evil.
85. Small Businesses
I am a small business! I love small business. Why do you hate them, with your support of the filthy rich and corporations?
I am self-employed! I love self-employment! Why do you hate self-employment, with your support of the filthy rich and corporations?
87. Harley-Davidson Motorcycles
Uh oh. I guess I better get rid of the one in my garage.
88. Military Veterans
I don’t hate veterans, never have. That does not make me a fan of wars, especially manufactured, unnecessary ones.
89. The Phrase “Islamic Terror”
I don’t hate the phrase. Can’t say I much like the idiots who bandy it about. Especially as those same idiots can’t ever manage to choke out the phrases “Christian Terror” or “Domestic Terror”.
90. Big Families
Are we talking the Quiverfull shit? Because that I don’t like, no. That said, it’s not the fault of the children.
91. The Bible Belt
No, I don’t hate any geographic area. I probably have quite a few bones to pick with the inhabitants, though.
92. The Creation Museum
It’s hard to hate something which invites rich mockery, it’s a bloody joke.
93. The 10 Commandments
Why do hate The Beatitudes, Michael? Much better than the commandments. Anyroad, I don’t care about them, but ostentatiously displaying them on taxpayer funded properties is not okay. I hate to break this to you, but lots of people aren’t christian.
94. Anyone That Is Pro-Life
I don’t hate individuals. I do indeed loathe the ideology.
95. Anyone Who Disagrees With Them
Uh, I’ll admit to being lost here. Anyone who disagrees with pro-life people? Generally, I’m good with pro-choice people.
96. Hard Work
*Snort* Go fuck yourself, Mr. List. Probably the easiest, laziest job on the planet, and you can’t even come up with a decent list. I work my ass off, every. single. day. So do most people. I do note that rethuglicans aren’t good at working at all. I also note that many christians have found themselves a cushy berth of bilking people in lieu of working.
I have no use for patriotism whatsoever, and yes, I do loathe jingoistic assholes.
What do you mean here? Winning at Scrabble? I love that. The Trump style of ‘winning’ by being a mobbed up con artist? Yeah, I hate that.
99. The Truth
I love the truth! I work my ass off, every. single. day. to spread the truth! Facts, too!
100. The American People
I am an American People. I don’t hate myself. I don’t know every single American Person, but I expect I’d be good with most of them. Oh, I know one American Person I don’t like! Michael Snyder, who seriously sucks at lists.
Via RWW. And with this, I’m off to town today! Gonna get a new bicycle. :D