A statement by Hope Hicks on Monday truly highlights the absurdity of the Tiny Tyrant and the Wannabe Regime. It not only reads like a parody, it reads like a bad comic book parody, being chock full of magnetism.

President Trump has a magnetic personality and exudes positive energy, which is infectious to those around him. He has an unparalleled ability to communicate with people, whether he is speaking to a room of three or an arena of 30,000. He has built great relationships throughout his life and treats everyone with respect. He is brilliant with a great sense of humor … and an amazing ability to make people feel special and aspire to be more than even they thought possible.

Um, that’s so over the top, you kind of need to keep staring at it, in the hope the ol’ brain will comprehend it one day soon. It’s so full of “oh, no, no, nope, so fucking wrong” it has the ability to reduce people to sputtering wrecks, morphing into balls of tearful laughter somewhere on the floor. If Trump loaded himself down with magnets, he wouldn’t have a magnetic personality of any kind. He may be considered charismatic to some, although I’m hard pressed to think of any. Even his diehard fans don’t consider him charismatic, they liked him because he 1) wasn’t a politician and 2) was  a hateful, asshole bigot who promised them white vengeance. No charisma in sight.

Brilliant? Right. We are talking about the Fucking Idiot who said: “You know, I’m, like, a smart person.” A sense of humour? Where? Because I’m pretty sure if there ever was one residing in Trump, it jumped ship ages ago. Making people feel special? Huh. Like refusing to shake hands with Angela Merkel? Or the thousands of tweets denigrating just about everyone on the planet? Or all the Trump Tantrums™ and insults he lets fly all over the white house? Jesus, I haven’t even warmed up on this one yet, the list could go on forever here.

Hicks composed the statement in response to a Washington Post report on Trump’s habit of cutting down staffers with insults. The most jarring thing about her characterization of the president is not the inaccuracy; it’s the sudden rejection of Trump’s entire political brand.

To say that Trump “exudes positive energy” is to ignore the whole premise of his campaign. He would not need to “Make America Great Again” if America were currently great — and Trump made very clear that he believes it is not.

Not only that, but the Tiny Tyrant ran on a platform of bigotry and hate. All of it was “those people are criminals! rapists! awful! evil! stealing your jobses, precious!” and so on. FFS, not only does this represent a brand new low in fucking idiocy, this blatant attempt at pandering to, um, whoever, will not work. Most people know it’s absolute bullshit, and his diehard followers don’t want a magnetized Trump, they want the stupid, evil asshole they voted for, so the point of all this? No idea.

The Washington Post has the full story.