The Syria Stupidpocalypse


There was a great moment in Woody Allen’s Bananas, in which the US is intervening in a CIA-sponsored “revolution” in a central american “banana republic” – the viewpoint switches to a bunch of US Army commandos in a C-130 getting ready to parachute down to overthrow the government: “The CIA has guys on the other side, so no matter who wins we’re on the winning side.”

US “foreign policy” in Syria is being directed by Ubu Roy, so it’s less consistent than Woody Allen was back in his “funny” period. So, we get stories like this (which understandably is not front page news): [t&p]

US bombs its own ammo dump in Syria as most troops beat a hasty retreat from the country

On Wednesday, the U.S. military had to call in an airstrike on one of its own ammunition dumps in northern Syria because the cargo trucks required to safely remove the ammo are needed elsewhere to support the withdrawal, Task & Purpose has learned.

Two F-15Es destroyed the LaFarge Cement factory between Kobane and Ayn Issa after all U.S. troops had left the area, said Army Col. Myles Caggins, a spokesman for the U.S.-led military coalition fighting ISIS in Syria and Iraq.

“Blowing the ammo was part of the plan,” Caggins told Task & Purpose. “Abandoning unguarded ammo would not be prudent.”

Source: Russia News Now

And by “plan” we mean “we have no idea, WTF.”

[Also, wait, what do you mean, was the US storing military weaponry in a civilian business’ building? That’s, you know, what we complain about when ISIS does it. Our foreign policy maintains a flexible and creative attitude toward international humanitarian law.]

This is the kind of stuff – and the nukes at Incirlik[stderr] – which is why a bit of forward thinking is a good idea. The president should not be ordering an immediate withdrawal; that is not how to give good orders when you’re talking to the management team of the world’s largest military, or hotel staff. You ask your advisors who understand the problem “what is a reasonable time for a rapid withdrawal?” and then tell them to shave a few days off of that. So if the pentagon says “6 months” you tell them 3 months or they can resign or request reassignment to run the shoe rental concession at a bowling alley at some base’s recreation center. Trump should not have said “immediately” – he should have figured out how to extricate the crucial gear and the nukes from Incirlik and then given the orders.

I wonder if the F-15 pilots got a medal for blowing up an ammo dump.

Comments

  1. sonofrojblake says

    “I wonder if the F-15 pilots got a medal for blowing up an ammo dump”

    I wonder how goes they needed before they hit it.

  2. lochaber says

    at risk of sounding like I’m defending Cadet Bonespurs…

    isn’t it pretty standard for the military to destroy gear that they can’t/is difficult to recover? back when I was enlisted, I distinctly remember being taught to destroy the tube from a one-shot disposable rocket launcher, and I can’t imagine that would be terribly more useful than a bit of stray sewer pipe or downspout gutter…

    Anyways, I can’t really see any current situation warranting an “immediate” withdrawal, as opposed to organizing a quick, but proper withdrawal…

  3. komarov says

    Anyways, I can’t really see any current situation warranting an “immediate” withdrawal, as opposed to organizing a quick, but proper withdrawal…

    With Trump in charge, every moment of delay is a chance for him to change his mind again. Maybe there’s another phone call, some advisor or a FOX news segment he sees. So whenever one successfully puts an idea into the POTUS’ head, the urgency cannot be overstated…

  4. jrkrideau says

    @ 4 komarov
    With Trump in charge, every moment of delay is a chance for him to change his mind again.

    A very cogent point, especially as Turkey would be working on the declared US time table. A great opportunity for accidental shootouts. Get out while you can.

  5. says

    lochaber@#3:
    isn’t it pretty standard for the military to destroy gear that they can’t/is difficult to recover?

    Yep. But the idea I’m promoting is that if the US withdrawal had been, you know, planned in the slightest degree, maybe some of the stuff wouldn’t have been unrecoverable.

  6. jrkrideau says

    @ 1 sonofrojblake

    Our come to that, how many other things they hit first….

    Two hospitals, a radio station and a wedding?

  7. voyager says

    Seems reasonable to me. By destroying the ammo, the military has created a need to make more, which keeps the wheels of The Military-Industrial Complex turning. What better way to sell something, and make a profit, than to create a need for it?
    I don’t think that’s why the ammo was blown up, but it’s a diabolically good outcome for a few ultra-wealthy assholes.

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