Making America Great, One Shitty Job At A Time

If this was really made in America, that means that someone was employed making it.

This created a job.

Other than that, I’m not sure what to say except “ground-breaking new leap in bad art.”

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Ostentatious manifestations of love for the dear leader is a sign that there are a lot of authoritarian followers out there, just waiting with baited breath to do what they are told.


  1. kestrel says

    The big question for me is, will anyone buy this piece of… words are failing me here. Crap, I guess. And whoever wrote the ad copy is delusional.

  2. Reginald Selkirk says

    Our nation is being led by a strong leader who loves America and is committed to conservative values.

    Conservative values – like eliminating the budget deficit? And furthering free trade? And standing up for our law enforcement community?

    Do words mean anything any more?

  3. says

    Oh. Such beauty. Such intricate precision. I am going to hang my wood carving tools in shame, for I shall never make anything this MAGAnificent my life.

  4. cvoinescu says

    Also, “engraved”? Sure, it’s what the process is usually called, but set yourself up for disappointment. The surface is nearly flat, and the darker color is where the wood is slightly charred by the laser. It’s more like toner-less laser printing than engraving. The only way a hand could have been involved in the crafting of this was if the artisan was masturbating while waiting for the laser cutter to finish.

  5. springa73 says

    Maybe it’s just me, but I never quite understood putting ornaments with pictures of presidents or other political leaders on a Christmas tree. It’s probably because I grew up thinking of Christmas as a totally non-political holiday, which may have been naive, but that was before conservatives started making a supposed “war on Christmas” into a big deal.

  6. consciousness razor says

    Both laser-cut and hard-carved? Carved with a hand-held laser, perhaps?

    I noticed that too. My guess is that some MAGA-hat-wearing transhumanist gave himself laser hands in a squalid, back alley piercing shop where they have the klan meetings. The plot thickens! And now he sells ugly Christmas ornaments on the internet.

    Sure, you should probably be headed for the bomb shelter right about now, for a variety of reasons I suppose. But if you’re still reading, he may not really have superpowers or whatever. Most likely, it’s just some LEDs hot-glued to an old pair of oven mitts.

  7. StonedRanger says

    If I ever see one of those on someone’s tree, Im going to steal it and toss it into the nearest fire. That shit eating grin deserves no less treatment.

  8. says

    Apparently I’m not sufficiently familiar with American culture, which is why I’m now puzzled. Is this serious? Do Americans really keep images of their presidents at their homes? Or is this a joke product that was made with the expectation that hardly anybody could want one?

    I’m used to associating public display of presidential portraits with totalitarian/authoritarian regimes. In USSR, North Korea, etc. presidential portraits were displayed in every public place. They are in schools, workplaces, public squares, everywhere. But, unless required to do so by law/social pressure, majority of citizens who live in totalitarian countries do not keep presidential portraits at home. At least my mother and other family members never did. Even though publicly everybody was supposed to worship the president, in reality most people hated their country and their “dear” leader. Thus nobody wanted to keep this person’s portrait at home.

    Moving on to democracy after the fall of USSR, presidential portraits entirely disappeared from everywhere in Latvia. In general, Latvians dislike their politicians. Some are hated to the point that people are waiting for their term to end. Others are tolerated as a necessary evil. A few politicians are more popular and perceived as “good for a politician.” Politicians who are actually liked by the citizens are very rare, and I can think of only a few examples. For example, between 1999 and 2007 there was a female president* who was actually liked by Latvian citizens. She was an excellent public speaker, a polyglot, and also a very well educated person who, unlike most other politicians, never publicly embarrassed herself. She also managed not to get involved in any corruption scandals. Thus many people actually liked her. And even then nobody thought about displaying her portrait at home or is some public place. I have never ever seen any politician’s portrait displayed in places like schools, offices, people’s homes. People keep at home their favorite musician’s or athlete’s photos, but nobody ever even considers the possibility of keeping a president’s photo at home. People perceive politicians as a necessary evil that never gets worshipped or admired. Thus I’m now looking at this Christmas ornament and wondering what is going on in the US.

    *Have you noticed that majority of countries on this planet have had a female leader? US is among the few exceptions. I assume I don’t need to elaborate what this little fact tells about the American society.

  9. says

    Ieva Skrebele@#12
    > Do Americans really keep images of their presidents at their homes?
    I can’t say I’ve ever seen any pictures of the presidents in any homes in the US but I could definitely see them having something like this on the Christmas tree.

    Actually this gives me a great idea of something to get my kids to learn how to make on a laser cutter.
    An ornament of #44 based on the Shepard Fairey “HOPE” image, he was not without his faults but he was a decent person, unlike #45.

  10. lorn says

    $15, and S&H I think. Maybe in 50 years this sort of stuff will be seen as nostalgic. Or of historic value. Like genuine NAZI posters from ’36’. Perhaps as a reminder of just how ugly and completely off the rails we can get.

    If presidents and cheesy laser-cut wood on your tree is your thing I might swing for one of these:

    Even in wood he cuts a handsome figure. Damn, I miss that lug.

    If your intent is to keep your spirits up, or egg on a thick-hided Trumpian relative, you might want to avoid subtlety altogether and go for something like this:,2019290035

    Wouldn’t want the intended sentiment to get lost in the warm fuzziness of the season. Even if he never , beyond metaphorically, did that it isn’t entirely out of character near the end of his term. Good on him. Given a chance I would enthusiastically vote for Obama again.

  11. says

    Gosh, do you think there will be enough demand to justify a whole job?

    Sure! They’re going to need so much wood they’re going to have to open some national parks for logging.

  12. Raucous Indignation says

    I have an ornament that is a plumbus wearing a santa hat. It is absolutely repulsive. It hung on the back of the tree where it’s hard to see. I’d rather use the Santa Plumbus as the freakin’ star on top of the tree than left that disgusting face ornament thing in my house.

    For reference:

  13. says

    Raucous Indignation@#18:
    I have an ornament that is a plumbus wearing a santa hat

    I once made a “mister hanky” christmas ornament for a co-worker, who used it as a tree-topper thereafter and told everyone I was the ‘artist.’ That was a pretty clever revenge.

    The plumbus reminds me of the fellow who did sculpey ‘goatse’ ornaments and gave them to friends.

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