I Get Spam: US Department of State

U.S Department of State
2201 C Street NW
Washington, DC 20520.
E-mail: departmentofsteta12@gmail.com

Your ATM Visa Card Will Be Shipped Through USPS To Your Address I am Mr. Rex W. Tillerson, United States Secretary of State by profession. This is to inform you officially that after our investigations with the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) and other Security Agencies in the Country for the year ended 2016 and 2017, we discovered that you have not receive your fund.

I have made it my first point of call since taking office to settle all Outstanding Payments accrued to Individuals or Corporations with respect to local and overseas contract payment, Debt Rescheduling and Outstanding Compensation payment.

This is to make sure all Outstanding payments are settled beginning of this fiscal year 2017. On Behalf of the entire staff of the U.S. Department of State and the United Nations in collaboration with World Bank, we apologize for the delay of your contract payment, Winning or Inheritance funds from most of African Countries and all the inconveniences you encountered while pursuing this payment.

However, from the records of outstanding beneficiaries due for payment with the U.S Secretary of State, your name was discovered as next on the list of the outstanding payment who has not yet received their payments.

Note that from the record in my file, your outstanding contract payment is $1,850,000.00 USD (One Million, Eight Hundred And Fifty Thousand United States Dollars) loaded in an ATM Visa Card that allows you to make a daily maximum withdrawal limit of $5,000 Five Thousand Dollars) YOUR ATM PIN CODE ( 7250 ).

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Wait… I see something suspicious: they said the FBI and CIA found money? Inconceivable! Those guys couldn’t find money if there was a great big gym bag of the stuff dropped out of the sky.

Besides, it’s $1,850,000.75 that they owe me, and I won’t settle for a jot or tittle less! Now I understand why Tillerson may be “on the way out.”


  1. says

    I am Mr. Rex W. Tillerson, United States Secretary of State by profession.

    They need to study bloviating Amerikkan execs placed in a position where their incompetence shines more closely. They don’t talk like that.

  2. Raucous Indignation says

    @4 No you are right, DonDueed! The seams would split after a a million point two, million point three, tops!

  3. says

    My daily max withdrawal limit is $400. I doubt $5,000 would be allowed.

    There’s potential here for a “count the things that are wrong” contest. Hm.

  4. kestrel says

    Gosh, hate to tell them this, but the government’s fiscal year 2017 ended on June 30th. We’re in fiscal year 2018 now, dudes! Come on, steta, get it together!

  5. says

    Hell yes, Lofty. And it’s the reason I don’t cotton to any romanticization of con artists. They’re thugs like trump that prey on people with diminished capacities or other forms of naivete. Drain trust from the world to line their pockets, and then get to feel like their victims deserved it for being “suckers.”

  6. lanir says

    Yeah, they really aren’t paying attention. They put the wrong profession. He’s the detached CEO of Exxon in charge of looting the State dept. and removing obstacles. You know the kind. People who might suggest that perhaps there are reasons for not moving the Israeli embassy or getting into a macho pissing contest with a tiny country that in the long run has far less to lose than we do.

    Oh, and I feel like if I mention these things I also have to mention that they’re distractions. The administration cares not a whit for them or their consequences. They’re just there to freak people out and distract from the money grab closer to home. He has lots of collaborators on that one to help him out.

  7. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    If you can only withdraw $5k/ day, it would take 365 days to withdraw $1.825M

    I noticed that right away & wonder if it has anything to do with the final amount the scammers picked.

  8. John Morales says

    Since nobody has noted it explicitly but Marcus made a point of including it, have a look at the email address. First thing I do when receiving an email (preview pane is for other people).

  9. chigau (違う) says

    John Morales #14
    What do you suppose is a “steta”?
    Is ir related to Lofty’s “Stele”?

  10. John Morales says

    Neither, chigau.

    Most salient (and obvious!) point is the domain: gmail.

    Regarding “departmentofsteta12”, it’s pretty easy to speculate — for example, I presume Google has certain constraints on usernames*, but it’s sufficiently long and begins appropriately to make many people glaze over it, though the digits are a bit odd.

    * If you want a literal answer, it’s an anagram of ‘state’.

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