His Team Would Follow Him Anywhere…


… but mostly out of curiosity. Let’s play a game!

If you’re not familar with this bit of military humor, let’s have a chuckle together. These are quotes supposedly lifted from British military officer’s fitness reports (Form S206) as reported in Pusser [amazon] and quoted widely around the internet.

 

  • His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
  • I would not breed from this Officer.
  • This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won’t-be.
  • When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
  • He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.
  • He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.
  • Technically sound, but socially impossible.
  • This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope – always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.
  • This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
  • When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably.
  • Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.
  • She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
  • He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.
  • This Officer should go far – and the sooner he starts, the better.
  • In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.
  • This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
  • The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.
  • Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

Here’s the game: do any of the above not apply to the President of the United States?

(Simulated fitness report for the commander in chief)

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This post was a result of a brain-fart, reading Mano Singham’s [ms] blog posting which begins with the idea that “there are no depths to which Trump will not sink.” I immediately thought, “he has struck rock bottom and started to dig.” And that’s how my creative AI operates.

Comments

  1. Raucous Indignation says

    Marcus, I just checked your commenting policy. No, I’m not feeling guilty! I just happened to check it. And there you say that a certain comment I posted a long time ago was “puerile but mildly creative.” And now I am sitting at my desk giggling to myself like a child. A highly amused and distracted child that cannot be redirected to a more productive avenue, because he has the giggles.

    Thank you Marcus, thank you very much.

  2. sqlrob says

    Technically sound, but socially impossible.

    No indications of being technically sound.

    The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.

    Yeah, I’d really prefer he wasn’t a citizen.

  3. says

    Here’s the game: do any of the above not apply to the President of the United States?

    Technically sound, but socially impossible.

    Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

  4. says

    Two more that don’t apply to our POTUS:

    “He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.”

    “The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.”

  5. kestrel says

    I lost it at “I would not breed from this Officer”. Farm humor. And I must concur with Caine: “Works well”? I don’t think so. More like, “Even under constant supervision, and even cornered like a rat in a trap, getting work out of this Officer is like trying to get a donkey to cross the Thames.”

    For some reason this brings to mind the guy who had 10 formal complaints against him, all within 6 months. http://www.27bslash6.com/f26a.html Now I will go read that, and laugh uproariously.

  6. xohjoh2n says

    Yeah, I’d really prefer he wasn’t a citizen.

    I heard he was born in Scotland. Surely that should disqualify him from the presidency?

  7. says

    Raucous Indignation@#1:
    And there you say that a certain comment I posted a long time ago was “puerile but mildly creative.” And now I am sitting at my desk giggling to myself like a child. A highly amused and distracted child that cannot be redirected to a more productive avenue, because he has the giggles.

    I’m sorry I don’t remember the comment or the posting. But I’m glad I amuse you!
    And thank you for your continuing creative contribution to the commentariat.

  8. says

    kestrel@#5:
    More like, “Even under constant supervision, and even cornered like a rat in a trap, getting work out of this Officer is like trying to get a donkey to cross the Thames.”

    I suppose he thinks golf is work. He’s wrong, but he acts like he thinks that.
    I’d like to see him cross the Thames.

    For some reason this brings to mind the guy who had 10 formal complaints against him, all within 6 months.
    Whoah – those are interesting. A Nickleback poster? Vandalized, you say? Is that even possible?

  9. says

    xohjoh2n@#6:
    I heard he was born in Scotland. Surely that should disqualify him from the presidency?

    I hear the CIA has a department of faking citizenship that are quite skilled.

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