Jerkfaces uncovered our feminist plan. Meet at the usual place to discuss secret next steps.

It seems that the communications security protocol flaws and lack of physical override/bypass or escape mechanisms we build into male chastity devices have been discovered. Look at how much the men now know:

The Cellmate, [an internet-connected male chastity device] produced by Chinese firm Qiui, is a cover that clamps on the base of the male genitals with a hardened steel ring, and does not have a physical key or manual override.

A security flaw in [the device] could allow hackers to remotely lock it — leaving users trapped, researchers have warned. … “An angle grinder or other suitable heavy tool would be required to cut the wearer free,” [British security firm Pen Test Partners said Tuesday].

The MRAs do not yet know it was engineered this way by scientists at NOW Labs. We must keep that information contained at all costs. In the meantime, get as many men fitted for Cellmates as soon as possible before masculine distrust sets in. Further updates on the secret channel.

 

 

More Voting Deadline Information, Courtesy of Snopes

Exactly what it says. I chose Snopes because they have additional information (as limited and vague as it may be, it’s hard to be more precise) with links to separate articles with the details of the aspect of voting, requesting an absentee ballot, or other issues that concerns you most.

Please, click this link and do everything you can to make sure you’re prepared.

 

 

A Member of the Public

So, RawStory, right? But that’s where I saw yet another discussion of insiders being shocked that they’re not getting the information they need to keep themselves healthy and/or to do their jobs (from the context it’s not clear which, if not both, is being lamented). In this particular case, however, it’s a high-level staffer or official of the Leopards Eating Faces Party who is shocked, SHOCKED that they are being treated like a commoner, with crucial information being withheld and no way to determine which of the contradictory stories appearing in the press are the lies and which are to be believed. The original reporting was from Politico, and I quote from them despite the hat tip from Raw Story:

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Kaitlan Collins Stunned About This Whole Leopards Thing

As I said yesterday, journalists are acting shocked – SHOCKED – that Trump, his administration, and his campaign might have lied to them about the president’s COVID status. They are so shocked that today Kaitlan Collins on CNN suggested that a doctor who has no history of lying to the public might have given false information in an interview when the doctor said that the positive test came back 72 hours ago and treatment began 48 hours ago even though the public had only been notified a bit less than 36 hours before.

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The Leopards Eating Faces Journalism Society Is Forshook

So there’s a metaphor with which I hope most people will be familiar: the Leopards Eating Faces Party. The basic idea is that a bunch of leopards, who are, naturally, in favor of jumping up to clamp their jaws on human faces and thrash around until they rip a fair bit of human flesh free for eating, form a political party. The leopards also want power and lots of it. They wander around showing off their sleek pelts and seductively asking people, “Wouldn’t you actually enjoy it if I ate the face of that person over there that you hate? Well, I could do that if only there were no animal catchers to stop me. Unfortunately, this world has animal catchers, so you’ll have to vote me and my fellow leopards into power. Then we can do away with all our opposition & go eat that person’s face for you.” Surprisingly enough, some people vote for the LEFP.

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QAnon has decided that Trump catching COVID is … a good thing?

It’s like 2020 isn’t even trying to make sense anymore. If any of you readers can explain what’s happening here, I’ll be impressed:

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FUCKING ASSHAT HAS COVID-19

Yep, the October Surprise has already happened before large hunks of the country were even able to finish October 1st.

Technically though, we should add some clarity: we only know Trump has been exposed to coronavirus. No news has yet been released as of 1:30am EST / 10:30pm PST about the President’s symptoms (or lack thereof), but the president’s Twitter account did announce that he and Melania had both tested positive and were entering quarantine. Apparently the white house has also known for days that Hope Hicks tested positive and after she was positive was traveling and interacting with Trump, White House staff, and the White House Press Corps. There is as yet no guarantee that Biden was not directly or indirectly exposed, so watch for updates on that front.

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